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Lisa! Are the pics on your computer? If so, you can click on the Attach Image icon at the top (this little icon ) From there you can select your image on your computer and then click "upload". The images will appear in your message. If you show me where your before/after pics are located, I'll attach the images to this thread, if you'd like!

My words of wisdom would be to consider that it is YOU that makes the band work. Some people ask "What if it doesn't work for me?" It'll work for YOU if you work for the band. Keep on top of your fills, don't eat foods that go down too easily, and don't try to use the first month as a weight loss period. It's a healing period. You'll have more energy to do what you need to do if you get calories in during the healing period. You'll do fantastic! Use positive self-talk and remember that the band has no "magic period." I lost the majority of my weight during the last 9 months, when I really started to enjoy exercising. So don't get caught in the "I've only lost 30 pounds in 5 months" trap. Just get back on the horse and do it. Good luck!

Flabuless, girl, watch out! This sounds similar to my own situation about 5 months ago with my now-ex. He told me within 3 weeks of knowing him that he loved me. I think, rather, that he WANTED to love me, so desperately, so he could cling to someone again. I was infatuated to be sure, as well. The relationship moved far too quickly from there, we ended up making big mistakes, and our once-perfect relationship had a chemical reaction and exploded. TRY to pace things, truly. I know it's hard. But it's better to take it a little slower so you know that his love isn't truly infatuation.

HA! It's becoming a serious problem, to be honest with you, because I'm not married. You don't want the sex addiction. It's causing a lot of internal torment. But Jacques (one of the new guys I'm dating) says whoever I marry will be one happy man because of my crazy animal drive LOL! I'm convinced it's not about low self-esteem any more. It's just about the pure physical desire for it 24/7! I knew that focused personality would come in handy one day. I did nothing special. A couple of the scars were taken out during the tummy tuck, but the others have really faded. Took about a year for them to fade somewhat. I'm not concerned about it. I'm not going topless or wearing a bikini anyway.

Did anybody catch that Oprah show? I missed it! I think I replaced food addiction with exercise and sex. Anyhow, here's a Before/After that my lower-body-lift doc took yesterday. Oh, by the way, this is 8 weeks post-op. I was a size 12 before and a size 8 now:

I do tons of squats and presses and do lifting quite a bit. I'm a girl, so I'm not doing as much as a guy, but it should be okay for you after awhile.

I typically eat 1.25-1.75 cups in a given meal. I am aware that I eat more than the typical banded person, though.

I heard that quote at institute last Thursday! Our problem is that the flesh is weak. You're right about perspective. I lose that. Sundays are the absolute worst for me and I really don't know why. I get a little sad on Sundays for some reason. Sad that I'm still alone here. Knowing that we had talked about getting married in March, and now March is here and no wedding and no man. I need to be patient! It has been a whopping 2 months. I need to remember that. So much has happened so quickly - for a lot of us! Keeping perspective is a great key to this moderation business. You helped me today, girl. Thanks!

Kyethra I'm medium-large frame. My dad has very broad shoulders and I inherited them. So broad-shouldered, but the rest of me is about medium. I'm tall, at 5'9". It's possible that 140 is too small, but in looking at pictures of myself, I think I could stand to lose around 20 pounds. People look at me funny when I tell them that (usually when they ask if I'm all "done" losing weight). Most of them say, "Where will you lose the 20 pounds???" So perhaps what I'll do is let my body decide where it wants to be. If I find that my energy levels decrease at a certain weight, I'll bring it back up again. I'll do a little energy inventory in about 10 pounds, how does that sound? I truly just want to be at optimal fitness level. It's very important to me to be able to be competitive at my sports. I do think, though, that with your large frame at 5'8", 150-180 is definitely ideal. I always thought when I was 300+ pounds that I'd want to stop at like 185. Perhaps that's because I was around that weight in junior high/high school and was okay with it. Funny how what I used to be okay with isn't okay with me any more. Okay, I'm going to wax therapist on you guys again. I apologize. I've been introspective lately and you guys have to pay the price for it. Heck, even my triathlon blog has become my friggin online diary. But I digress... I see patterns in this board, patterns I see in myself: We are obsessed, focused people. Maybe not all of us, but I see this pattern in a lot of us. We become very focused on something, such as eating, and we can't get it out of our heads. It's a lack of moderation, in a sense, that we sort of embrace. In my case, the lack of moderation comes in the form, now, of exercise and self-beautification. It seems to be my goal in life these days to turn the heads of all men, and then totally ignore them. WHY??? What am I trying to validate in doing that? I'll tell ya what: I'm trying to validate that I am actually attractive to men. My entire life was spent as the fat, funny, happy-go-lucky girl. No man wanted that. And it seems like I've been using men lately, too. I'll get the good-looking guy that would have never taken a second look at me before, use him, and then never respond to his calls. So my new quest, people of bandland, is to be the best ME that I can be - and be totally happy with it. It's funny to relate, but I reached that enlightenment about 3 days ago. My sister says that if you reach total enlightenment, beer shoots right out your nose. LOL. I don't feel the need to date the hottest guy I can spot now. Believe it or not, this is a huge step for me. I sorta stopped grieving for that lost, dysfunctional, crazy sexual relationship I had with the man who broke my heart for the 'better looking' woman. It's as if I was turning around and doing exatly what he did to me. But I think it's out of my system now, and I feel terribly for having used these men. I tried to get them to fall so hard for me just so I could say sianara. Alright, back to my point: At what point do we learn moderation? How does one learn moderation? Are there moderation exercises out there? I've been doing NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) lately, and that's helped with many things, like getting over this guy and truly believing that I don't need a good looking man to validate me. But can NLP teach you moderation? I'm afraid that I'd become obsessed with NLP in that quest for moderation! In many respects, the lack of moderation has proved to be worth a lot to me. There are things that I'm very good at, as I suspect there are some very, very talented people on this board. Comes with the focus. So how do we learn moderation while still focusing on our goals, just not with crazy tenactiy? Okay, I'm done introspecting on you. Anyone have comments on this or am I just spitballing?

I'm a cycling freak. I do like 100 miles a week, and when i got started I thought the gel seats would help - they didn't. A SMALL seat and a padded pair of bike shorts are finally what did it for me. Larger, gel-filled seats make your thighs rub against them, making it not only harder to pedal efficiently, but hurting your inner-thighs. A good pair of padded bike shorts will cost around $50-$70. Well worth it - for me, at least. If what you have is a mountain bike, however, perhaps less pedaling, a gel seat, and a padded pair of shorts will do it for you. But I know you have to work up to your butt not hurting any more. Beginning of bike season I always have a sore butt for a few days, but it goes away quickly.

Karey, here's the spa that I'm going to: http://www.premiermedispautah.com/. I'm doing the facial treatment, and then in 6 months I'll do my underarms. Good luck!

Oh Brenda, sounds like you're lovin it! I'm going to find a guy who loves me like that. 2k diamond earrings? Saweet. And you are a trophy wife. You're hot, babe So you did ab workouts? Okay, I feel better about starting those on week 8 then. My abs haven't been funny for the past few days. They'd been tight and swollen before. Now they're okay, so in a week I'll start the ab workouts, but light. I'm back up to running at 5.5 mph, but my knees are paying a price. I can do 5.5 mph for 20 min, take a 2 min break at 3.5mph, and then go back to 5.5 mph. I go 3 miles every day. Then I'll alternate biking with swimming (and weight training every other day). So I'm gettin like 2-3 hours of exercise in each day, in preparation for the tri in June. It doesn't feel like too much now, honestly. It did at first, but I slowly built back up to it and now it's all good. And running is actually easier without that flap of stomach skin! I feel... lighter. Except with all this physical activity, I seriously eat more. I'm much, much hungrier, for some reason. So I'm only losing like 1.5 lbs/week. But I can do that! I've got 18 pounds I want to lose. The goal weight keeps getting lower and lower, which is a bit of an obsession. When I told my trainer I wanted to lose 18 more pounds he's like "hun, that's just vanity. You look perfect already." But I truly want to be in the most optimal shape I can be in. I don't think 140 at 5'9" is unrealistic or unsafe. And lianna, sorry you have to wait! I was super impatient. But think of how much freakin fun it will be when you have it. And yeah, it gets addictive. Instead of thermage, I'm having Titan treatments, the same as Thermage only a bit newer and less painful. There's a spa by my house that, for $2,500 will do 3 Titan procedures to help tighten your skin by rebuilding collagen (1 every 4 weeks); 3 IPL treatments to treat both red and brown spots caused by sun damage (1 every 4 weeks); 6 Laser Genesis treatments to help improve skin texture, pore size and fine line wrinkles (1 every 2 weeks); as well as 6 microdermabrasion procedures (1 every 2 weeks). Pretty freakin sweet. I'm doing it!

Brenda girl Good for you! I'm so excited you can finally get that ass to the gym and kick some of it. Feels good, eh? Do you find that when you run there is a lot of pressure in your legs? The pressure has slowly subsided for me, but still somewhat there. What is your trainer having you do? No ab workouts, right? Apparently I'll be able to do abs in a week and a half (week 8). How's your swellling? I still have quite a bit of swelling, but it is SLOWLY going down. Yesterday it was like a kick in the face, though. I looked like I was 5 months along. I got on the scale and I was 3 pounds heavier than 2 days earlier. I've GOT to be retaining mad water. But I did a lot of cardio and a bunch of running. Yeah, 6 weeks can certainly wear down those muscles. I can only run at like 5 mph for now. I take a 1 minute break at 3.5 mph every 10 minutes for 3 miles. Hoping to be back up to 5.5 mph without breaks soon. My goal run time is an 8-9 minute mile for 6 miles come triathlon time in June. Tony can help me with that. The boy can run a 5-minute mile. His average speed is a 7-minute mile for like 13 miles. He's a cheetah! Okay, are you LOVING that flat stomach of yours? I am so silly with it. I swear I do a strip tease in front of the mirror every night. I even put on my straw cowboy hat LOL! Shhhhh. Don't tell anybody.

Thanks ladies! I decided after the last text to the ex that I would text NO MORE, no matter what he texted me. He wants to get together before the tri and do some bike runs together - this is how we originally met. He's acting all innocent, like nothing's going to happen. But THEN he's like "so where are you staying in Edmonton? Who are you doing the tri with?" These are his questions to find out if I have a boyfriend right now. He IS the jealous type, so I didn't privy him to that information. But it doesn't matter. It would never work with him right now, the way we both are. BUT, despite the fact that we had sex and we both don't believe in having it before marriage (in a big, big way), we can both repent. He may just turn out to be a good person one day - but it will take time for him. He IS a good person, but he has addictions. We fit perfectly together, if only he didn't have a sexual addiction and physical feelings for a woman he had an affair with while married. I think he sorta hated me after because he thought I was a morally strong girl (which I am), but I had a weak moment (er, at least a weak weekend). He was good for a full year - no playing "solitaire", no women... nothing... until I came around. So I think he can change, I do. But it will take time for both of us. I can't control myself around him and he can't around me. I did tell him I lost 30 pounds and had a tummy tuck since I last saw him (8 weeks ago). But see, since he arrived in Houston tonight he hasn't texted. I have a feeling he will be strong as well and not contact me any more. He's stronger than he gives himself credit for. Oh dear, I have set myself back a full month, I think!

You know, I'm clinical, I really am. I need to remove said ex from my phone. I accidentally sent a text to him (meant to send it to the person next on the list in the address book), and we have a conversation going again. Damn. It's like old times, too. He's all funny and sweet and charming again. He's acting like he never killed me inside. I bet he has no idea... Oh girls, I need to get confident before June - that's the goal! This is bigger than me. I'll see this ex in June at the Edmonton Triathlon. I don't want to fall for him again! It took 5 weeks for me to stop freakin crying every day over him. I still love the jerk and wish I didn't. In the back of my mind I want to find someone I like a lot between now and then so I won't fall for him once again. Maybe I'll see him and decide "what the heck was I thinking???" I sure hope so. You know, Mystic, I like that advice. I don't THINK I'm putting out the "hello I'm looking for a husband" vibe, but it's possible I am. I actually keep thinking "Let's get this date out of the way so I can get on with my dating hiatus." I'm DEFINITELY not the jealous or clingy type. But I am picky. It's also possible I'm going after men that are out of my league LOL. How the heck do you know what your "league" is??? It's just that I'm attracted to who I'm attracted to - and that just happens to be only very good looking men. It's sort of setting myself up for failure, I suppose. But I don't know how to get past it.

Okay chocolate, I am so very, very worried about you now. Maybe because I know what happened the moment I lost all the weight. I never really dated, either. Then I started dating, and, after about 6 months of it, finally found someone to fall in love with, but didn't know how to handle it. Here's the thing: Don't you sell yourself short for ANY man, NO MATTER how good looking he is. My ex was the first really good looking guy to show interest in me. And he was so athletic and funny and we shared the same personality and sense of humor... so I let him take the most precious thing I had because I thought he loved me and, in a weird way, it made me feel more secure to be with someone so good looking who seemed so attracted to me. But men can be pigs (sorry fellas). The good ones are the ones who respect you for maintaining your integrity throughout everything. I even think my ex would probably still be interested if he hadn't gotten what he wanted from me. I was thrown off his pedestal and he didn't respect me any more. Chocolate, this can cause so much incredible heartache. I don't want you to fall into the same trap just for a little physical affection. We women just can't handle it, especially if we're emotionally at the teenage dating level. Before this happens, please make goals and boundaries for yourself. Don't ever, ever let yourself think you're "strong enough" to resist it, because none of us are. Just make personal boundaries and stick by them! You'll be so much happier if you do... truly! Since breaking up with Kori, I've been out with several men. One I really, really like (it's Tony on my flickr photo page), but I have since set those boundaries for myself. For example, we were lying on his bed watching a movie the other night and he was like "wanna share a blanket?" So I did, and we started to cuddle. But when he started to rub his face against mine, I knew that was the "sign" and didn't let it get any further than that - especially since we were both lying down on his bed with the lights off. If Tony's truly quality, he'll respect me for those boundaries.

Dynamo It truly is in the eye of the beholder. I thought my ex was drop-dead gorgeous, but my sister could take him or leave him. But I am not attracted to her fiance in ANY way and she thinks he's the best lookin' man on the planet. But see, I'm not going to pretend that I think I'm ugly. I think I'm pretty. But I think there's something about my personality that might be turning men off. I don't know how to pinpoint it or how to change it, so I overcompensate by trying to make myself prettier. Perhaps there really IS nothing wrong with my personality and I'm simply impatient. I seem to think that the first man I really like since my breakup (a mere 8 weeks ago) should want me back just as much! I suppose it doesn't really work that way. There have been several men SINCE my ex that have been more interested in me than I have been in them. It just takes time to find that "connection". I have noticed a lot of people looking at me. About 20 pounds ago I still had "big girl" mentality and thought "keep starin at the freakshow, okay?" But I have come to realize that they aren't staring at a freak show. The guys look at me because they think I'm pretty. I really, really don't know how to handle it, besides just strut my stuff. I'm very much like a teenager in terms of relationships, only I skipped like 20 steps with my ex and have to pay the price for it now. Well, that, and my thinking is not like a teenager. I don't fit. Even the therapist I'm going to says that. It was very, very unhealthy for me to go as far as I did with him - a man who used me terribly. So the therapist is helping with the issues surrounding the breakup. I just wondered if anyone else on this site was able to overcome these issues somehow, and what was done to do that? Right now I'm TRYING to take a dating hiatus and learn a little more about my own self-worth, sans the man.

I've been thinking about this post for quite some time. I'm just about at goal (within 10 pounds, at least), and all of a sudden I have body image issues. Well, perhaps less body image as overall self-image issues. I really do not understand it. I'm starting to think that this whole time these issues were simply latent and so, subconsciously, I created the bigger issue of having too much excess weight, so I didn't have to deal with the OTHER issues, like will men like me for ME? I'm sure this has been exacerbated by a recent big breakup where I was told by a man I thought I was going to marry that he still had strong feelings for another woman who was, essentially, more 'attractive' than I was. But I wouldn't have so many issues with that statement if it wasn't my worst fear in the first place. Okay, any psychoanalysts out there? Am I crazy, or what? I have certainly turned to God for help, but I think He helps those who help themselves. What is it that we can do to overcome some of these issues? I have been thinking of finding someone to emulate who displays those self-confidence qualities (especially around men), but I'm not sure how to find this person or even know what to look for in their behavior.

I needed, honestly, about 7 treatments, and I'll possibly need an 8th (we'll see in about 4 weeks). It's a stubborn area.

I'm with ya on the stress issue. I missed mine right before my tummy tuck. I'm sure it was the stress of the whole issue now. Stress can do funny things to our bodies.

I was always chubby (and teased for it) until I hit Jr. High and shot up like 5 inches to my current 5'9" frame. The boys liked me for the first time ever. I think I was around a size 9 in 7th grade. But by 9th grade I was chubby again, well, at a size 14, and the boys stopped liking me. Right now I'm about as skinny as I've ever been, really, and it's weird to have the boys liking you again. I swear I'm dating retarded. At least I have some guy friends now who can give me advice on this whole messy issue.

I've probably beaten this horse dead in other threads, but this is a new one and you may not have heard it: I lost only 60 pounds in my first 8 months or so. A few of those months had plateaus. I can relate to the discouragement, for sure! I was self-pay as well, and heck, why the heck did I go with this band thing if I was only going to lose 60 of the 150 I had to lose??? Long story short: I changed my attitude one day. Not sure how, but one day it just changed. I realized the amazingly primitive discovery of calories in-calories out... oh my I just wrote this long post but the less-than symbol screwed it up and half of it got deleted. I'll do my best to remember what I typed: Ahem. So I started counting calories. Made sure I had at least a 1,000 calorie/day deficit. I monitor my calorie burn by using the BodyBugg (my saving grace gadget, costs about $400 but it's well worth it). I pre-made food and then portioned them out into suck-n-seal baggies, wrote the calorie & Protein content on the bags, and stuck them in the freezer. That way I always had something on hand to just boil right in the bag when I got hungry. I also got very hooked on physical activity. I learned to love jogging and biking, and then I learned to love swimming and hiking and kayaking and skiing. The world got so much bigger! I eventually got so hooked on physical activity that I had my band loosened a tad. I can eat about 1,800 calories a day now, but I still burn about 2,300 on a fairly lazy day. So I'm typically still losing between 1-2 pounds per week. I just make SURE I get that deficit in every day. If it's 10:30 at night and I have 300 calories left to burn for the day, I get my tail out the door and go jogging! I know calorie counting can be a pain in the butt in the beginning, but it gets a lot easier over time and becomes no big deal after awhile. The beauty of this system is that it allows you to cheat when you want to. You realize pretty quick it's not worth the extra calories, but if I'm at a birthday part and want a little ice cream, I know I can simply work out a little harder that day or the next, or cut down a little on other calories. Good luck to you. This discouragement will pass. You'll lose again if you keep up the good work. I promise.

Sara Thanks for the book advice. I've actually got two of those books but haven't read them yet. I'll make some time for them. I have to work on my confidence levels right now. Cosean, To be honest with you, I didn't think the lower body lift was all that painful, but pain isn't a huge deal to me. I used to get kidney stones every 6 months or so. The Tummy Tuck was NO BIG DEAL compared to that. On a scale of 1-10, I'd say it was a 3. It was more of a pain in the butt than anything. And you are going to be immobile for a long period of time. I'd plan on 3 weeks of immobility, and that's without any complications.

Jane, I think we share a similar personality. I am a very focused person. My therapist calls me "intense" (yes, I have a therapist now, and I highly recommend we all get one LOL). That intensity can lead to obsession. Occassionally this is a good personality trait - we can become very good at whatever we set our minds to. But many times the "all or nothing" mentality ends up hurting us. For me, right now, my focus is on completing the triathlon in June. And it's okay because I have to follow a certain workout schedule to be able to complete it. But my focused personality trait has also moved onto other things that aren't healthy, things like having to look perfect and finding perfect-looking men to date, and feeling like a failure if I'm not able to do both. Of course, getting rejected for a prettier woman has played a part in that, but nonetheless, other people wouldn't be nearly so obsessed with looking perfect. It's an endless pursuit that will never be satisifed. I'm starting a new thing called NLP - Neurolinguistic Programming. I'm trying to "talk" myself out of this obsessive personality trait I have and into a more easy-going, care-free person. Anyone else done this?

Brenda, wow! I've seen pics of the boob lift before, and sometimes the line down is prominent. It's awesome that yours is that fine. I have never, ever had big boobs, so mine just need a "fill" LOL. I suppose that's on the list for after the triathlon, perhaps. My ex was going to pay for them, but now he's gone dammit. My scar on the front is pretty thin all over. I had brazillian bikini laser hair removal so I couldn't hide it if I wanted to, but I'm not too worried about it. The scar will be visible my whole life, I'm sure, and will only be seen by my husband, so it doesn't bother me too bad. As far as Tony goes, I'm going to leave any additional texting in his ball court. He was not conversational in his last text like he usually is, but he DID text back, so I assume all interest isn't lost. If he doesn't text me in the next couple days I'll text him and ask if he wants to go see a musical next week with me. He has the most beautiful singing voice - got a full-ride music scholarship to Pepperdine, and I know he'd appreciate the musical. I mean, we WERE friends before anything else. In fact, I had him in friend zone for an entire month while I've been 'recovering' from my breakup. I think as soon as I took him out of friend mode it kind of freaked him out. And... also... I hate to put it this way, but he IS disproportionately better looking than me. He may want to remain in friend mode. Anyway, I'm just going to ride this one out, like I said. This is one crazy game, dating.