bandpal

Hi Everyone, I miss you all - have been very busy at work and at home. Things with me are good though- I have good restriction, am not too hungry too often, am enjoying eating a lot of vegetables though getting my Protein in is a bit challenging. Moving away from a life dominated by food has also brought emotional and spiritual growth, and I'm grateful for that. My thoughts are with Sades and Shortgal - two brave, strong women, there. I hope to be able to be on line and in touch more regularly soon. All the best, Bandpal p.s. I almost forgot - I weighed in at 197.89 this morning, so I've made it to Onederland!

Congratulations to TxArcher (that's one cute six month-old there), Hollyberries and all other three-digit losers out there. As we say in Hebrew, ha-le-vai a-lai ("it should only happen to me"). Have you guys started to part with larger sized clothing yet? I can't quite let go of mine yet. What has that ecperience been like for you?

Thanks, you guys... I needed that. Today was a good day and I pledge to you that I'm going to end it without eating. Your good common sense and encouragement are amazing! I can do this thing... and as far as bringing the scale down further, I might have to actually consider exercize (it's my dirty little secret that I've lost all my weight so far without any). I want to go in to my doc this week and get a referral for a stress test. Good luck coming back from the surgery, mzterniceguy. Have a good weekend, everyone!

Dear Friends, Thank you all for your concern during this past month. My wife is home from the hospital, back at work and recovering quickly, and the kids are getting used to living in a two parent household again. Although I managed to hold it together foodwise while my wife was in the hospital, things have gotten lax since she's returned. My weight's gone from 94.7 to 96.3 kilo (from 208 - 211 lbs.), and although it's not very much, it's my largest gain since having been banded. I feel as though I've lost the thread a little bit... I'd be grateful to hear from anyone on this. I've been sick for a couple of days, I think that with things finally getting back to normal around here, I finally let myself crash. But I think I'm coming out of that now. Thanls again for not giving up on me.

sorry for silence, have been busy and kind of sad. Wife better but still sick, high white blood cell count and fluid still left in lung are keeping her in hospital. we (me and kids) have just come back from seeing her over the weekend - a 400 km trip each way. I'm beat, will write more later. Thanks for not giving up on me Sades!

Thanks very much for the support, everyone - I really appreciate it. It's amazing how "three dimensional" virtual friends can be! I hope your wife has a speedy recovery. Although, phneumonia is a long recovery and she won't be herself for a long while. You are a really good husband and Dad. Make sure you get some time for yourself. You're right about the long recovery, Hollyberries - we have some serious attitude adjustment and changes in lifestyle in store for us in our household. My wife is going to have to start taking better care of herself, and her practice of working while sick is definitely a thing of the past. The kids have been great - their lack of perspective and young ages (3, 5 and 7) makes this a potentially very difficult experience, and I think I've done a good job of being there for them. That sounds awful Bandpal but at least it will help her. Keep us posted. Yech, Sades - it sounds awful indeed but it is helping, which is a pretty good thing, since the next step would be open lung surgery. Wow Bandpal! I had pneumonia once. My daughter picked it up in school and gave it to the whole family. My son, then hubby, and finally me. None of us had to be hospitalized but we all felt awful and the cough took forever to clear. Your poor wife must have gotten a really bad case of it. Hope she gets better soon! Boy - I'll be happy to avoid that scenario, CindyG. Nothing worse than the whole family being sick and having those germs ping-ponging around the house... they were so afraid of my wife contaminating other passengers that they sent her up to the hospital in the center of the country by ambulance rather then flying her up - that's a 4.5 hour trip as opposed to a 50 minute flight! This wasn't the best weekend for me foodwise, but that's over now (Sunday is a workday here) - here's to a good week for us all. Love,

Thanks Cindy and Sades - my wife finally had a drain put in her lung and now we have to wait for everything to drain out. They'll also run an analysis on the fluid and ascertain that the buildup has stopped for good before taking out the drain and sending her either back home to back to our local hospital. Tell you what - I have a new-found respect for pneumonia. I'm going to try to go up north and try to visit her for a day as long as I can find coverage for my three children, Moe, Curly and Larry [note: not their real names but an accurate characterization of their maturity, God bless 'em. No stooges were harmed in the writing of this post].

Thank You, Foofy and Sades for your kind wishes. Things could be better - my wife has pneumonia and has been moved to a hospital in the center of the country where they are trying to get the fluid out of her left lung. Looks like she'll be there at least another couple of days and then it's back down to our local hospital. I've been told that it'll be a while before she's able to function fully. I'll say this for myself - this is the first "crisis" in my life since the band , and for the first time I find myself dealing with life's demands without food as a crutch. I'm doing okay with the kids and with my committments at work, showing up where I have to and basically dealing with whatever comes. Back to cleaning the house - have a good weekend, everybody! Love,

That is one bodacious (there's my 80's contribution) bathing suit, Hollyberries, outdone only by the delighted smile on your face. We have a women's aerobics class on our kibbutz, they really grind it out - if anyone tells you it's not a contact sport, don't believe them! Enjoy, and here's hoping you've gotten rid of those three pounds by the time this is posted!

Hollyberries, That is one fantastic picture!

Dear Nymphs, I am currently in the last four days of a two week trip to America (mostly in the Greater New York area) with my five year- old daughter. Included in our itinerary were my parents' 50th Anniversary party and my cousin's wedding, for which we all up and went all the way out to San Antonio, Texas. As most post-band life experiences have proven to be, this trip home has been different than the many others I have taken before. Why? Read on: I came back thinner, not fatter No more discreet glances at my midsection before saying hello... no more harrowing conversations with my mother about how I'm going to leave my four children fatherless at a young age, no more having the roll call of family members with diabetes read at me, no more coming back home and feeling that I've made no progress in dealing with my weight problem since I used to live here. food has finally left the building Coming back home used to be all about food - eating from the four major food groups (pizza, deli, Chinese and Italian), enjoying my beloved traditional New York Breakfast of eggs, home fried potatoes, sausage, ham and bacon and toast with butter, chowing down on Mom's cooking and checking out the fridge at late at night at whoever's house we were staying at. My entire relationship with food seems to have changed. I can walk through a supermarket without swallowing mouthfulls of drool. I've ordered Soups or appetizers during the few times I've eaten out and left food over most of the time. I haven't had that breakfast once (and haven't missed it) and haven't binged once. My tastes have changed, too - I naturally gravitate toward lighter and healthier foods. I've stayed away from trouble I've stayed away from food at moments which I anticipate to be stressful and where I am prone to overeat. One example was at my parents' party, held at my sister's house, with whom I've had an uneasy relationship at best. She is also obese and the house was full of food that day. I just stayed away from food - it's not like I never had a bagel and cream cheese before or would never have one again, after all. And as a result of this, of being willing to give up the food, I was blessed with such clarity of mind and calmness, and I was able to interact genuinely with everyone that was there and add to the happiness of the day and enjoy it all. I subsisted on juice and diet soda and then had my normal small meal when the party was over. Because of the band, I'm much less hungry than I ever was before, and my appetite is one tenth of what it used to be, so this strategy is entirely realistic for me now. Wherever I've stayed, I've lived in the present. Trips can be stressful, family trips can be very stressful, family trips with a small child (no matter how delightful or cute or intelligent or charming) away from her mother can be especially stressful. I've really tried to live in the present and not obsess about whatever just happened (since I can't change it) or is going to happen (since I do not know for sure what that is going to be). I am reading a book which is giving me a lot of help in this regard, and I would like to share it with you: Healing into Immortality, by Dr. Gerald Epstein. Praying, using different formats and at varying times, has also proven very important for me. As the result of all this, I am actually continuing to lose weight, in keeping of my goal of returning home lighter than I was when I left (who says it's so hard losing weight in America - many of you are doing it here every day!). I set out on the 30th of April at 221 pounds and am at 213 now. I'm returning to Israel on Thursday and will immediately start planning my next journey: a one way trip to Onederland! Thank you all so much - your support and knowledge and sharing have been indispensible. Love to all,

Hi Holly, I will broaden the range of advice. First of all, you didn't mention anything about what or how much you've been eating in your post. I also have 4.5 cc in a 10 cc band and I have enough restriction to have indulged in plenty of "territory marking" myself (loved that post, TexArcher). That's just luck, and you might need another fill, but maybe your experience over the last month means you might want to reexamine food issues. I cannot imagine getting a fill without being numbed. Unless your doctor clicks his heels when you enter the room, greets you with an upraised right arm and speaks with a pronounced German accent, I just cannot imagine why he doesn't numb you. I think you should ask him, and I know you have the right to a painless fill. As for the frequency of the visits, however, I see my doctor no more often than every three months although I am free to make an appointment whenever I want. Part of me thinks that the motive for these mandated monthly visits is as much financial as it is health-oriented. If your doctor is overseeing your overall progress and monitoring your food intake, that's one thing. Otherwise... I guess the most important question is, how often do you want to see the doctor?

YEAH STEPH!!!

Thank you SkinnyJill and Longhorn for good wishes and compliments. The trip has been as good as I've allowed it to be - it's amazing how our beliefs and emotions determine our reality, no matter what the circumstances of the given moment are. Prayer has been very important for me lately - grounding me and lifting me up at the same time. Yesterday I managed to get together with my fourteen year old son who lives in the New York area with his mom, (my ex-wife), and also visit with my parents (I'm staying with my inlaws for the first few days of the trip). I am very close with both my son and my parents, but the distance between us makes these meetings very charged. In addition, my father has has Parkinson's Disease since the late 1970's, and is pretty incapacitated now. Anyway, on the train on the way from my parents over to pick up my son, I was feeling sad about my Dad's condition and pressured about whether I was going to make it out to my son's house on time. Then I stopped and said - "look at the gift you've been given,to be able to in the space of one day give and receive love from the dearest and most inaccessible people in your life, and here you are raining on your own parade! " Then I pulled out my prayerbook and read the Song of Songs, the lyrical poem from the Bible which it's customary for observant Jews to read before the Sabbath. Man, just try being depressed after reading that thing. That was a great intervention, and a lovely moment. I was able to get my mind and heart back where they needed to be. How does all of this relate to food and the band? Easy: in the past, I would have turned to two double quarter pounder meals instead of the Song of Songs. The combination of the limits the band imposes on me and the resultant weight loss along with it's positive emotional effects have brought me to the place where I am able to respond differently to situations where food was once the only recourse. When you think about it, food for me really had become a false god, whose altar I worshipped at ceaselessly. But , as ee cummings puts it so beautifuly, "(now the ears of my ears awake and now the eyes of my eyes are opened)", and I can turn to what is for me the real source of all strength and nurturing. Sorry for going on about religion, I by no means want to preach or lecture - this is just where I am at. Thank you all so much for giving me the opportunity to share with you.

I love that "daeth over dishonor", Foofy - you made me smile with that one. Seat belts have been my new best friend since the band. I find myself compulsively buckling and unbuckling myself! Yet another disorder to tend to. SkinnyJill, I did notice that my restriction was up there on the flight, didn't even think about it being due to the altitude or cabin pressure or whatever. Yet another reason not to join NASA - I'd pop like a balloon!

Hey Bella, Great to hear from you again! Men lose faster but women live longer, so all in all, sounds like a fair trade-off to me. Congratulations on your weight loss. I stayed away from matzah balls this Pesach, but had a nasty encounter with a Macaroon. We won't be going there again anytime soon. Take care, stay in touch...

Dear db, First of all, congratulations and good luck with your surgery on Wednesday! I had mine on November 21 of last year and have lost 65 pounds, from 286 to 220. I am also a CPAP user. When I got the CPAP, my doctor told me that I probably wouldn't need it if I ever got my weight down to 185. With the band, this has become a real possibility. I'm looking forward to getting rid of it. Even though I've grown accustomed to it over the last three years, it's a pain lugging it around when I travel, and I'm tired of my wife calling me "hose-nose". To my knowledge, if you don't have one of those "smart" machines that record your data on a car that you can send in for analysis, the only way to confirm that your pressure is too high is through spending another night at the sleep laboratory. Of course, if my brains ever started to drip out through my ears, that would be a helpful clue as well.... hang in there and be patient. Once your weight starts coming down, your sleep will improve - mine did!

Hi Nymphs, I've enjoyed reading everyone's updates. I guess I've mentioned most of the stuff that's been happening with me - I'm exactly at my halfway point today with a 65 pound weight loss, and about to go under the 100 kilo mark (I think I'll call it "Underland" - how 'bout that). I'm working on recognising feeling full, eating slowly (ate lunch with a toothpick and dinner using my left hand) and am grateful that I'm actually willing and able to learn some good eating habits after so many years of abuse. I did some closet shopping today and had a very surprising and satisfying reunion with four pairs of my size 38 jeans, just in time to be able to show them off during my trip to America. This trip will give me the opportunity to deal with some difficult family relationships, especially with my sister, and some joyful but charged events: my parents' 50th wedding anniversary party and a family wedding which will bring us all out to Texas. Obviously, it's important not to eat over whatever the next few weeks will bring. Also, going back home means revisiting the "scene of the crime"- the places and tastes that fueled my overeating for years. I know I will make the time to check in with everyone during my travels. I've been reading an amazing book lately: "Healing Into Immortality" by Dr. Gerald Epstein. It's given me some good insights and tools - visualizations and affirmations that I know will come in handy. What other books have helped you during these last months?

Yeah Foofy! Thumbs up big time on that tip about eating with the left hand - I'm definitely trying that out today...