bandpal

Dear 11/20'ers, Fond greetings to all of you, sorry for not having been in touch for over a month. First of All If any of you don't know, our friend Longhorn needs our encouragement and support – please see her thread, "A New Medical Issue for Me" under November 07 Bandsters. Congratulations All Around! Everyone who's posted here in the last month seems to be doing well – nice gradual weight losses all around – congratulations! What a contrast this is to the highs and lows of the white-knuckled, guilt-ridden days of yo-yo dieting, eh? Unbelievable... I have to say, I really feel as though this thing is changing me for the long term, not for the intense three week periods which were the longest amount of time that I could ever keep to a diet (now there's a four letter word if I ever heard one). Over a period of months now, I've been binging much less and only rarely for more than over a two day period. My food choices are much better and my serving sizes much, much smaller. I've almost entirely stopped taking second helpings. There is no comparison between the rate at which I ate before and now. I get full much quicker and stay full for much longer. Tell you what – for me, that's unbelievable. I thought I was incorrigible, and doomed to a short life of misery and death. If this keeps up I'm going to have to devote some serious thought to what to do with the next thirty or forty years… Go Ahead, Compliment me - I Can Take It! Along with my own weight loss, I've been enjoying closet shopping and the compliments I've been getting. Here too, something is different this time – the compliments aren't threatening, I don't obsess about getting them or not getting them and who has or hasn't noticed. I don't feel that "oh, I don't really deserve that" feeling, or feel that the compliments themselves are pushing me closer to falling off the wagon. Maybe it's not too late to grow up at the age of 48, huh? Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch... I'm busy at work, hosting my parents who are staying with us for the last week of an eight week visit (I drive them to the airport on Thursday and return the next day with my inlaws, who are in for two weeks) and starting to plan my two week trip to the States - I'll be in New York and in San Antonio for my cousin's wedding, first time in the Lone Star State! I'm taking along my five year-old daughter, which I'm very excited about. Food for Thought I saw an interview tonight with the Italian neurologist, Dr. Rita Levi-Montalcini, who was the 1986 Nobel Prize laureate in Medicine and Physiology and who is still working daily in her lab at the age of 99. When asked for her secret for staying intellectually acute for so long, she unhesitatingly answered, "not thinking about myself". That's food for thought for me, tell you what. All the best, everyone - hope to hear often from all of you here, - Bandpal

Forget an elephant's penis - I'm just happy I can glimpse my own in the shower now! It's been such a long time...

Dear Kendra, We prayed for you in our synagogue today ("Kendra Bat Geraldine" - Kendra daughter of Geraldine) and will continue to do so every Saturday until you are all better and tell us to cut it out, already. Keep in mind that this is Israel, where all calls to God are local rate. Holding you in my thoughts and prayers and with best wishes, Bandpal

I am stunned and saddened to have come upon this thread, nearly a month old, and discover what you have been going through. I know you will face what life has brought you with the same calm, practical confidence that I have come to admire you for. Kendra, we have a prayer for healing which we recite in our synagogue every Saturday - names are read out matrilineally. If you could tell me your mother's name, I'd love to add you name to our list and pray for you. Love, Bandpal

Hi Turler, big welcome to LBT and congratulations on your upcoming surgery. Two comments regarding your earlier posts: I also couldn't imagine, based on my pre-band appetite, that I would be able to handle the liquid and mushie phase, and I can't tell you how pleasant it was to learn how easily my body can be satisfied now that I've been banded. What an empowering experience it is to know that, although I love food and ultimately do need it, I can indeed get by without it just fine for a week! That is an experience that has stayed with me ever since, and I honestly treasure it. While I once thought that my ravenous, insatiable appetite was an inseperable part of whom I am, I have been proven wrong - and I have never been happier about being mistaken. Although I also was eager to return to work directly after my surgery, I was persuaded to take advantage of the two weeks that were made available to me, and that turns out to have been a very wise choice. Although the actual degree of physical discomfort may have been negligible after the first few days, I was very tired and slept alot; I also enjoyed the opportunity to take small walks at my leisure. Most importantly, I used the time to get used to my new reality - preparing my liquids and mushies, using this site to gain insight and perspective, and getting to know my body, which I had despised and neglected for years, all over again. I wish the same for you. Welcome again, and best of luck!

I think I confused you, TxrArcher - I live in Israel now, and have since 1989 after having grown up in the Bronx. I respect you for rooting for the Giants - I say, always root for the team that beats you - if they go all the way, then you know you got beaten by the best. I'm going to bet that those cries of "go Giants!" from you and Longhorn are redeemable for one game only and expire officialy at its' end, but it's welcome support none the less. I'll be up at 1:30am (ouch!) for the opening kickoff.

Congrats to you too, TxArcher - you sound like you're going at it. I migrated across the pond in'89, but my native habitat is the wilds of the Bronx, in the shadow of Yankee Stadium where a certain football team which you might not be too fond of right now used to play. Hopefully this will not impede our new-found friendship.

Hi Everyone, As I See It At the risk of generalizing, it seems that many of us are within reach of the back door to Bandster Hell. Maybe we haven't found the elusive sweet spot yet (why does the Snitch from Harry Potter come to mind, fluttering in the air just beyond reach), but we are putting in the work, going for our fills, learning how to eat all over again through trial and error and maybe even seeing some NSV's or a little movement on the scale. Let me throw a Bible quote at you, since the Holy Land is my stomping ground: "Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid nor dismayed (Joshua 1:9)". I truly believe that there are great days out there for us, as long as we keep showing up and sticking together. Turning a Corner I have restriction after one fill. I have decided to blend my meals. I just don't have a supportive environment for eating slowly during the week, and I don't want to fight it. I'd rather get the food into me this way rather than dealing with the frustration of sliming and pb-ing in public. I think I'm done fighting the restriction and am ready to use it. I have roughly 3 cups of food a day along with a fruit between meals and clear Soup and herbal tea after dinner. Lately, the temptation to eat at night hasn't been there, and that is a huge relief. I feel I've turned a corner over the last few days and there's been weight loss as well; After having plateaued for a month, I'm down to 249 lbs (no longer morbidly obese!) from 286: a total weight loss of 37 lbs since surgery (I didn't have a pre-op diet). It is good to see the scale moving again. For All of You Firebolt, I strongly empathise with what you said about not wanting to count. I believe that some sort of frame of reference is necessary (cup size, plate size, serving size, or boundaries like not taking seconds) but I have to remember that the only thing dieting and obsessively counting my food intake ever did for me was made me gain weight, which is why I decided on the band! When you think about it, doesn't the band, with it's assorted gurgles, hiccups, and burps give us the best frame of reference at all? I don't mean to imply anything regarding what anyone else is doing. I only know that counting and getting into the diet mentality will only give me grief. Skinny Jill, good luck with Fill III. You are one determined, resolute woman; I would not like to be standing between you and something you want! Marilyn, despite your unpleasant experience after your first fill, I'm glad that things are moving for you, and that you've had some weight loss and pleasant encounters with smaller clothing. Boy, do you deserve it! Keep the good news coming! Marissa, I miss you - what's new?! Let's hear something from you!!! Longhorn, I loved your advice to Ovahkummer. Even when "giving in" to the hunger when restriction is not satisfactory, I've tended to eat less and bounce back quicker than before. I think that's better than assaulting yourself with diet frustration and guilt. Tlwempen, how are you hanging in there until your fill on the 18th? Towens, any more support group meetings? What are they like? Did you get in touch with your Doc after your second fill? And Ovahkummer - how was your adjustment today? I 'll close with Firebolt's words from a recent post of hers - she certainly speaks for me: "Again, I just want to say "Thank You" to each of you who continue to post & keep us informed. This is waaaay better than a "support group" that you only meet once a month. I feel like you guys are good friends now & we share so much together. " Love, Bandpal

Hi everyone - I'm at 113.2 Kilo this morning, down from 130, or 249 lbs down from 286 for a total weight loss of 37 lbs or 16.8 kilo since surgery on 21.11.07 (I didn't have a pre-op diet). It is good to see the scale moving again. I plateaued at 115 kilo for nearly a month. Bad habits are hard to lose but I am ready to stop fighting the changes the band has made and to start learning how to eat in a new way. The rewards come so quickly when we let them! Good luck to everyone, have a great weekend.

This is quite a journey we have embarked on together... we band of sisters and brothers, gurgling, sliming, and pb - ing our way to health, freedom and happiness across 24 time zones and six continents. How wonderful that we have each other to share with. I have restriction after one fill. I have decided to blend my meals, having roughly 3 cups of food a day, which keeps me satisfied; lately, the temptation to eat at night hasn't been there, and that is a huge relief. For today, Breakfast was cottage cheese with garlic and scallions blended with a little skim milk for consistency; lunch was a small plate of hoummous with a tablespoon of tehina topped with oilve oil and spices; and dinner will be 2-3 oz chicken with steamed carrots and a tablespoon of brown rice in the blender. For now I'd rather get the food into me this way rather than dealing with the frustration of sliming and pb-ing, no matter how long or how carefully I think I have chewed my food. This was very hard for me, and I found myself fighting back by pb-ing and then stuubbornly going back for more. I've felt really good over the last few days and I know there's been weight loss as well. I try to have one fruit between each meal - apples and pears go down well but I have to be aware of my bite size. I try to bite using my four front teeth only rather than stick the whole fork inmy mouth or wrap my mouth around an apple, and I have to make a conscious effort to chew slowly. When I eat at the table, two things work for me. I try to put my fork or spoon down between bites. This is a fun little game - amazing how hard it is at first - and it really slows me down. Another trick is to pck out the slowest eater at the table and to eat slower than they do (also fun!). In all things, the amount of food I put into my mouth is key - no matter how well I chew, some of the food will go down unchewed if I put too mych food in my mouth. For me, a good band -swallow starts with a small bite.

Notes From Lapbandland – Sunday, January 13th, 2008 Hi everyone, here’s hoping these first few weeks of 2008 are treating you all well. I haven’t posted for a while now, but have been logging in and reading your comments. Here’s what’s going on with me. Weight Down just a little this week to115 kg after plateauing at 116 for a couple of weeks. I’m not that concerned about it right now- after losing 14 kilo in a month, I guess my body needed a time-out. I haven’t been exercising, and have been having a difficult time with eating as well, so holding steady is something of an accomplishment. First Fill Celebrated New Years Day (just another basic workday here) by driving 3 hours to Be’er Sheva where I got my first fill (3 cc.) at Soroka Hospital. My surgeon held court in an x-ray room and kept the faithful moving along briskly; ten people went in and out before me at a clip of 5-10 minutes per patient. When it was my turn, I got a firm handshake, a view of my insides on the fluoroscope, a daub of local anasthetic and a needle in my chest, just below the breastbone (so that’s where my port was) and another firm handshake on the way out. At least I know how it all works now – next time I’ll go by myself on the bus. This time I went by car and had someone come with me to hold my hand. Difficulties First of all, I’ve had the normal post-fill issues, which I am one hundred percent grateful for. I deserve to learn how to eat all over again; need to learn how the frequency in which I eat, the amounts that I eat and the manner in which I eat are way out of control. I’ve been learning the first two lessons since the surgery, but the fill has forced me to confront new issues: the speed at which I eat and swallow, and the size of the bites which I put in my mouth. Needless to say, I’ve had my share of sliming and “pb” incidents. It is frustrating, especially when I think I’ve been paying attention, eating slowly and taking small bites, and still get jammed up. I think I’m getting the hang of it, though, and for me it comes down to taking small bites. Smaller bites mean less to chew and a more thorough chewing of whatever I’m eating, and it also means that I’m eatiing at a slower rate. I try to use only my two top and bottom teeth to take a bite of something and not to open my mouth all the way. Excuse me if this is something you all knew already, but hey, better late than never. On top of that, there are the normal problems – emotional eating, night eating, eating from boredom and habit. It’s amazing- and frightening - how quickly I can make myself forget that I had an operation, came back from the hospital black and blue with staples and with a tube inserted inside of me. But, on the other hand, it’s not surprising; this is the denial that got me where I am. I never thought all this would go away. All I asked for, all I expected the band to give me, is a level playing field. I think part of the recent difficulty has been a kind of pushing back – a panicked attempt to rattle the bars of the cage I’ve been lucky enough to put myself in. I’ll be frank: at least once in the past month, I’ve gotten stuck, pounded the table in pain, slimed, pb’ed - and gone right on eating. I have a friend here who’s had the procedure, and she told me to look out for a period of mourning that I couldn’t go on eating like I had before. I guess that this is it – if I manage to get through it without actually gaining any weight and damaging the band, I’ll take the money and run. Thank You I really want to thank those of you who have been writing during this time. I appreciated hearing how everyone was doing even though I didn’t feel much like writing myself. I really feel that we are a group to come back to, and that what we can get from each other is limited only by what we are willing to share. I am grateful thatI have a place to turn to where people will understand this experience we are all sharing. Ovahkummer: Congratulations, welcome to the promised land! Towens: Good going on the fill, good luck with the weight, be patient. Tlwempen: Thanks for asking what’s up, eat some ham and pepperoni for me. I’m not Kosher but my wife and kids are… Firebolt; Hope the fills kick in, being hungry is no fun. Marissa: I loved the jeans story, your posts always leave me smiling.

"T’was the night before Christmas" for Lapbanders (With apologies to Clement C. Moore) T’was the night before Christmas, I’d binged through the house, I’d just emptied the fridge and I felt like a louse; My XXXL pants were hung on the chair, They were getting quite snug, almost too tight to wear. So I put on my sweats, nestled deep in the blues, “I will never be thin”, to myself I did muse, And as deep in depression I dolefully sat, I accepted the truth: I would always be fat. When way up on the roof deftly landed two feet, Landed ever so lightly, the sound so discreet, That I just barely heard it, but wanted to see What the source of this sound could potentially be. Away to the window I stumbled and shuffled And got such a shock that my shout went unmuffled. For right there on my roof, standing thin as a stick And as fit as a fiddle was – that’s right - St. Nick! Well, I stuttered and stammered – “Santa, you look great, Please tell me your secret – how’d you lose all that weight?” With a wink of his eye he extended his hand, And he said, “Got two words for you, sonny – The Band!” He waxed and effused and enlarged on the topic, “A minor procedure – its all laproscopic! A half hour under, then they seal you with glue, And send you right back home, cause you’ve healing to do. A few days discomfort, some passing of gasses, You just drink clear liquids – don't worry, it passes, Next full liquids, then mushies, that’s your post op plan, Then you’re chewing on solids within a month’s span. Don’t swallow too quickly, that’s really a bummer, Buy pineapple juice, it’s just like Liquid Plumber, And if the band loosens, just hang in there until, Your doctor can see you and give you a fill!” Then he hopped on his sledge like a spry little sprite, And headed off into the darkness of night, As he vanished, I started, and yelled, “Santa, hey – Where are all of those reindeer who pulled your sleigh?” He laughed, and replied, sounding quite overjoyed, “As of my last weight in, six are unemployed; With the weight that I’ve lost, I have need of but two!” Then I asked, ”and what present, St. Nick, am I due?” As his voice trailed off, I could hear him say, “Well, Have you got pen and paper? Take this URL And check in here often, he said with aplomb, ‘cause this site is a gift, it's: lapbandtalk.com!

Hi everyone - I posted this on the General Support Board but wanted to share it with all of you - thanks for your suppport and wishing you each and all a joyful day. - Bandpal "T’was the night before Christmas" for Lapbanders (With apologies to Clement C. Moore) T’was the night before Christmas, I’d binged through the house, I’d just emptied the fridge and I felt like a louse; My XXXL pants were hung on the chair, They were getting quite snug, almost too tight to wear. So I put on my sweats, nestled deep in the blues, “I will never be thin”, to myself I did muse, And as deep in depression I dolefully sat, I accepted the truth: I would always be fat. When way up on the roof deftly landed two feet, Landed ever so lightly, the sound so discreet, That I just barely heard it, but wanted to see What the source of this sound could potentially be. Away to the window I stumbled and shuffled And got such a shock that my shout went unmuffled. For right there on my roof, standing thin as a stick And as fit as a fiddle was – that’s right - St. Nick! Well, I stuttered and stammered – “Santa, you look great, Please tell me your secret – how’d you lose all that weight?” With a wink of his eye he extended his hand, And he said, “Got two words for you, sonny – The Band!” He waxed and effused and enlarged on the topic, “A minor procedure – its all laproscopic! A half hour under, then they seal you with glue, And send you right back home, cause you’ve healing to do. A few days discomfort, some passing of gasses, You just drink Clear liquids – don't worry, it passes, Next full liquids, then mushies, that’s your post op plan, Then you’re chewing on solids within a month’s span. Don’t swallow too quickly, that’s really a bummer, Buy pineapple juice, it’s just like liquid Plumber, And if the band loosens, just hang in there until, Your doctor can see you and give you a fill!” Then he hopped on his sledge like a spry little sprite, And headed off into the darkness of night, As he vanished, I started, and yelled, “Santa, hey – Where are all of those reindeer who pulled your sleigh?” He laughed, and replied, sounding quite overjoyed, “As of my last weight in, six are unemployed; With the weight that I’ve lost, I have need of but two!” Then I asked, ”and what present, St. Nick, am I due?” As his voice trailed off, I could hear him say, “Well, Have you got pen and paper? Take this URL And check in here often, he said with aplomb, ‘cause this site is a gift, it's: lapbandtalk.com!

<p> "T’was the night before Christmas" for Lapbanders </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p> (With apologies to Clement C. Moore) </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p> T’was the night before Christmas, I’d binged through the house, </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p> I’d just emptied the fridge and I felt like a louse; My XXXL pants were hung on the chair, </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p>sp;</p> <p> </p> They were getting quite snug, almost too tight to wear. </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> So I put on my sweats, nestled deep in the blues, </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> < “I will never be thin”, to myself I did muse, And as deep in depression I dolefully sat, I accepted the truth: I would always be fat. </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> When way up on the roof deftly landed two feet, </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> Landed ever so lightly, the sound so discreet, ;</p> That I just barely heard it, but wanted to see What the source of this sound could potentially be. </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> Away to the window I stumbled and shuffled And got such a shock that my shout went unmuffled. For right there on my roof, standing thin as a stick And as fit as a fiddle was – that’s right - St. Nick! Well, I stuttered and stammered – “Santa, you look great, Please tell me your secret – how’d you lose all that weight?” With a wink of his eye he extended his hand, And he said, “Got two words for you, sonny – The Band!” He waxed and effused and enlarged on the topic, “A minor procedure – its all laproscopic! A half hour under, then they seal you with glue, And send you right back home, cause you’ve healing to do. A few days discomfort, some passing of gasses, You just drink Clear liquids – don't worry, it passes, Next full liquids, then mushies, that’s your post op plan, Then you’re chewing on solids within a month’s span. Don’t swallow too quickly, that’s really a bummer, Buy pineapple juice, it’s just like liquid Plumber, And if the band loosens, just hang in there until, Your doctor can see you and give you a fill!” Then he hopped on his sledge like a spry little sprite, And he headed off into the darkness of night, As he vanished, I started, and yelled, “Santa, hey – Where are all of those reindeer who pulled your sleigh?” He laughed, and replied, sounding quite overjoyed, “As of my last weight in, six are unemployed; With the weight that I’ve lost, I have need of but two!” Then I asked, ”and what present, St. Nick, am I due?” As his voice trailed off, I could hear him say, “Well, Have you got pen and paper? Take this URL And check in here often, he said with aplomb, ‘cause this site is a gift, it's: lapbandtalk.com!

Marilyn, here's hoping that the fill turns things around for you. I can certainly understand your frustration. Enjoy the holiday season in the Windy City, and keep in touch- us teachers have to stick together. Towens, let us know how the fill went today. Great that you chose to get it done now, even though it'll make Christmas dinner a little harder to get down. Merry Christmas! Tlwempen, that's a good insight you had about wanting meat only because you can't have it. That's right, remember: "Meat is Clay" (kind of even looks like it a bit, doesn't it?)! Look at it this way - you'll go through this Christmas as a vegetarian. Whenever I want something I can't have, another thought that comes to mind is that I spent one week on a liquid diet and came out of it just fine - so do I really need "this" or "that"? Merry Christmas! All the best,

Taking some Time... It’s a crisp, sunny Wednesday here, 68° and I am going to take a little personal time while at work and spend a few minutes with all of you. I’ve kept up with all the posts on this thread even though I haven’t written in a week. I hope everyone who hasn’t been writing is doing well. A Month Out I can’t believe that tomorrow (for many of you) and the day after tomorrow (for me) will mark one month since we were banded. This is the biggest change in my life in many years, no doubt about it. So much has changed that I can’t believe it’s only been a month, after years and years of basically hitting my head against the same wall. I truly feel that I have been given a new lease on life. Here are some of my NSVs: I eat much, much less than I did before the operation. I stay full for hours, rather than having a bottomless pit in my stomach. I no longer binge at nights, something I did every night for years. Consequently, I no longer spend my morning hours trying to function and put up a front while recovering from the physical and emotional devastation of the previous night’s binge. I have binged once during the day (more on this later) this month, rather than bingeing at least once every day for years. I no longer obsess about food all the time. My body feels like a whole lot of air has been let out of it. Any kind of movement– walking, bicycling, standing up, sitting down, scratching my back, tying my shoes, and performing various sanitary and hygienic functions – is accomplished much easier than just a month ago. I’m also no longer out of breath all the time and don’t sweat all the time. I no longer obsess about food all the time – in fact, most of the time, I’m oblivious to it. I Don’t Eat Clay I have to add here that I work in the reception center of our guest rooms, where we serve homemade cheesecake, apple pie, and chocolate chip cookies, ice cream, milkshakes, omlettes and grilled cheese sandwiches. I love my job, but it has been a nightmare trying, and consistently failing, to stay clear of all that’s available here. But for the last month, I have succeeded in doing so. The analogy that has come to my mind is that of a potter, who works day in and day out with clay, but never thinks of putting any of it in his mouth. That’s what food is nearly always for me now – just clay, just something that’s part of the work or home environment, nothing worth spending any time thinking about. Paying for the Party My one binge was last Friday; we had a big party at work and I was meticulously abstemious – I really didn’t resent, either. But, when I went home for lunch, I lost it – just kept eating, nothing that I couldn’t swallow but a lot of soft stuff. My wife, who rarely has commented to me about my bingeing, told me the next morning that she was worried that this was just going to be another phase, another failed solution. That really was hard to hear – especially because, of course, it’s my own deepest fear. It doesn’t surprise me that all my “reasons” for not indulging in this behavior again didn’t work – that’s the nature of the beast. But I know that every day of eating with my band will reinforce new behaviors and a new physical reality which will make my binges less and less frequent until I just don’t do it anymore. I know that one thing I could’ve done at the party was to just have a little bit of ice-cream so I wouldn’t feel “deprived”, but there are some foods which have such powerful associations for me, like ice cream, that I just don’t see myself stopping with such a small amount; I’d rather have none. I can’t defend this thinking, but that’ s the way it is for me right now. What’s on the Menu… Anyway, since then, everything’s been great. My meals this month have panned out something like this: I have a glass of buttermilk in the morning, a cup or two of soup in the evening (no cream or milk based soup, no noodles, just veggies) and for lunch (the main meal here) a salad sized plate of steamed vegetables, in between 2-3 oz of chicken, fish or beef and tablespoon sized dollops of salad, and hummus. I don’t drink for an hour before or after meals, and suck on sugar free candies to help get me by. That's all for now - hope to write again soon - lots of love and encouragement and good luck to you all,

My first fill is on January 1st, 2008 (it's a normal workday over here). What a great way to start the New Year!

I'd like to suggest "Scorpio-Sagittarian Satyr" for male members banded in November. This "Scorpio-Sagittarian Satyr" has lost 30 lbs. since being banded on November 21st. Congratulations to us all... let's just remember, we've all lost and gained before, and the operation was on the stomach, not on the head!

NEVER, AND I'M COUNTING THE DAYS. THIS IS THE WEDDING OF MY FAVORITE COUSIN FROM NEW YORK WHO WENT AND FOUND HIMSELF A NICE JEWISH GIRL FROM TEXAS. GO FIGURE...

RIGHT BACK AT YOU, LONGHORN! AND WHAT A GREAT, MULTICULTURAL FAMILY YOU HAVE. I'LL HAVE TO CATCH ME SOME ISRAELI - CHINESE - LEBANESE COOKING SOMETIME (OF COURSE, IN SMALL QUANTITIES WHILE CHEWING SLOWLY). I'LL ACTUALLY BE IN TEXAS IN MAY - I HAVE A WEDDING IN SAN ANTONIO ON THE 10TH AND I'M FLYING IN WITH MY DAUGHTER, "THE FEISTY FIVER". DO YOU LIVE IN AUSTIN OR WERE YOU JUST OPERATED ON THERE? TAKE CARE,

Hi Everybody, i who have died am alive again today Drove to the clinic this morning for my weekly weigh-in: 117.5 kilo, down 13 kilo or 28 pounds since my operation 17 days ago. Sounds wacky - like one of those late night "lose weight fast" TV adds. Slowly, I am starting to realize that if the way I have dealt with food since the operation persists, I will have. truly undergone a life-changing event. I literally feel that, for the first time, I am living life the way it was supposed to be lived. How does this feel? As E.E. Cummings puts it, (i who have died am alive again today, and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth day of life and love and wings:and of the gay great happening illimitably earth) You Sound Thinner When I spoke to my brother on the phone, he said "I know this is going to sound kind of weird, but... you sound thinner". I don't know about that, but I definitely feel calmer, more centered and happier these past few weeks. That being said, all this is more than a little scary as well. I'm going to see my therapist this week for the first time since the operation, and I'll have what to talk about, that's for sure. Physically, by the way, I feel I'm back to just about 100% - it hurts when I sleep on my stomach sometimes, and all in all my stamina still isn't what it used to be. But I took a group of 17 year olds hiking in the desert last week at work, and felt just fine, in fact better than the last time I did that particular hike before the operation. Breaking the Bond It hasn't all been easy. I went to a family wedding last week and ate too much - just got swept away, nothing that hasn't happened before but something I have to work on so that it doesn't happen again. I didn't throw up but I felt very uncomfortable for a long, long time. And once or twice I have been gripped by that good old irrational urge to binge, something that used to be simply overpowering for me. But I didn't do it; just either went to bed or got myself busy doing something else. This is a great victory - before the operation, the obsession would lead to the compulsion ten times out of ten. But this time the physical hunger wasn't there, or wasn't as intense as it has been before (and, of course there's the fear of slippage, of messing the whole thing up), maybe that's why it turned out differently. Could it be that what I have done has broken the bond between unhealthy thinking and unhealthy eating? I mean, everyone has crazy thoughts - but with me, this one always carried through into action. Like I said - if this is what has happened, my life has changed, changed dramatically. The Most Important Thread I've enjoyed reading all of your posts. LBT has given me a lot of support and perspective, but this thread is the most important one for me. Knowing that there are others who are at the same stage in the process is especially valuable. I hope we go on supporting and encouraging each other together for a long time. welcome sugarbearlover, congratulations on the weight loss. welcome admarino - good luck with your fill this week. towens - glad you are eating again, I'd say all our stomachs have been war zones for years, isn't that the truth?! skinnyjill - welcome to onederland, save a place for me. Good luck with your fill. CanadianComfort - glad you have been feeling better since the defill, enjoy the food processor! MarilynC- I really empathized with your post. I got rid of my scale a long time ago. The urge to get on and off it constantly is unbearable and humiliating for me. I weigh in my clinic once a week and that's that. The business of comparing myself to others and the pain that comes with it also struck home with me. I'm glad you have such a supportive partner. Good luck - you have a big fan in the holy land! Marissa - thanks for the back to work wishes. You're right - I come back home and sleep like the dead. Hope you are less stressed - maybe you're still mourning those two cups of coffee in the morning - I know I am! tlwempen - hope you have more Christmas parties once you make it back to eating. Enjoy the new food additions this week. Ovahkummer - still waiting for you Firebolt - hope you made it back from Michegan okay. Snowing, raining, freezing rain and ice storms, hmmmm. The Middle East might be a war zone, but you gotta love the weather. Write back soon! All the best,

Good Morning Everyone, A Good Time, Soon to End The sun is streaming down on us after a rare overcast morning here, and the last of the mist is veiling the mountains on the horizon. Sunday is a workday here, and I can see cars and farm vehicles pulling in and out of our parking lot, and people walking around purposefully and necking with their cell phones. I guess I'll be one of them in a few days. I'm due to return to work on Wednesday. I'll be ready, but boy, am I glad I took two weeks to recuperate after the surgery. It has been a time for resting, healing, getting to know my body, thinking, writing, and spending more time at home with my family. I've always been a get back to work quick type of guy, bored and fearful of spending time alone at home, but I'm glad I was ready for a change. Smaller Portions of Life All in all, I have to say that I find myself much more restrained - less involved with who or how many people have or haven't come to visit me, whether or not people can see that I'm losing weight, or on affairs in my community and beyond. It's almost as if the band is teaching me how to digest life in smaller portions - to swallow it slowly, to savor it's taste, to be satisfied from it, to make do with less and to obsess about it a whole lot less. The 500 Ton Gorilla Has Left the Building I weighed in at the clinic today - 11 kilo, or 24 pounds, down since surgery. While people here haven't noticed the loss yet, I've gotten a few comments about how I seem much more calm and content. No big surprise there - life without a 500 ton gorilla on my back shrieking FOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!! non-stop into my ear is another thing all together, apparently. For now, I'm eating very small portions of food, which I find delicious and which fill me up for hours, enjoying my drinks in between meals, and not obsessing about food at all! I've been feeding my kids without nibbling on their leftovers, eating in our dining hall without hearing the siren song of foods I can't have and reacting differently to situations which would've freaked me out before. Squash and Plastic, Anyone? One example here - on the evening of my second day of mushies, I was preparing a meal of pureed zucchini and asked DW, who was standing next to me washing the kids dinner dishes, to wash off the blending component of the hand held mixer which we had recently bought and which I was using for the first time. She did so, but overlooked the plastic cover which was on the blade. Innocently, I blended away, only to find little bits of plastic in my mouth when I tasted the first spoonful. Of course, that was the last zucchini in the house. In the past I would have responded to this situation by getting annoyed at DW and then becoming withdrawn (and, of course, by overeating later to compensate myself). Instead, I literaly laughed out loud as I thought, "hey, I don't really need it anyway- I just lived through a week on liquids!" I just joked about it, threw it out, and made myself something else to eat. I think that this is the real battlefield - long after the weight will have hopefully been gone, I'll still be contending with situations like this (and a whole lot worse!) without misusing food. All the best,

Good Morning Everyone, A Good Time, Soon to End The sun is streaming down on us after a rare overcast morning here, and the last of the mist is veiling the mountains on the horizon. Sunday is a workday here, and I can see cars and farm vehicles pulling in and out of our parking lot, and people walking around purposefully and necking with their cell phones. I guess I'll be one of them in a few days. I'm due to return to work on Wednesday. I'll be ready, but boy, am I glad I took two weeks to recuperate after the surgery. It has been a time for resting, healing, getting to know my body, thinking, writing, and spending more time at home with my family. I've always been a get back to work quick type of guy, bored and fearful of spending time alone at home, but I'm glad I was ready for a change. Smaller Portions of Life All in all, I have to say that I find myself much more restrained - less involved with who or how many people have or haven't come to visit me, whether or not people can see that I'm losing weight, or on affairs in my community and beyond. It's almost as if the band is teaching me how to digest life in smaller portions - to swallow it slowly, to savor it's taste, to be satisfied from it, to make do with less and to obsess about it a whole lot less. The 500 Ton Gorilla Has Left the Building I weighed in at the clinic today - 11 kilo, or 24 pounds, down since surgery. While people here haven't noticed the loss yet, I've gotten a few comments about how I seem much more calm and content. No big surprise there - life without a 500 ton gorilla on my back shrieking FOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!! non-stop into my ear is another thing all together, apparently. For now, I'm eating very small portions of food, which I find delicious and which fill me up for hours, enjoying my drinks in between meals, and not obsessing about food at all! I've been feeding my kids without nibbling on their leftovers, eating in our dining hall without hearing the siren song of foods I can't have and reacting differently to situations which would've freaked me out before. Squash and Plastic, Anyone? One example here - on the evening of my second day of mushies, I was Page Rankingeparing a meal of pureed zucchini and asked DW, who was standing next to me washing the kids dinner dishes, to wash off the blending component of the hand held mixer which we had recently bought and which I was using for the first time. She did so, but overlooked the plastic cover which was on the blade. Innocently, I blended away, only to find little bits of plastic in my mouth when I tasted the first spoonful. Of course, that was the last zucchini in the house. In the past I would have responded to this situation by getting annoyed at DW and then becoming withdrawn (and, ofcourse, by overeating to compensate myself). Instead, I literaly laughed out loud as I thought, "hey, I don't really need it anyway- I just lived through a week on liquids!" I just joked about it, threw it out, and made myself something else to eat. I think that this is the real battlefield - long after the weight will have hopefully been gone, I'll still be contending with situations like this (and a whole lot worse!) without misusing food. All the best,

Yep - you can use canned chickpeas just fine, without much of a compromise at all in taste. Save the liquid in the can and use it in place of the leftover cooking liquid in the recipe. Once you get the hang of it, w/ canned chickpeas you can make a batch from scratch in ten minutes. Yummmmm.

Tahini or Tehina is a paste-like concentrate made from ground sesame seeds. Once bought, it is mixed with water until it acquires the desired consistency. Popular brands are Sabra, Tuv Taam or Pikante. Any store offering middle eastern goods will stock it. It is available in some health food stores as well.