Dear Nymphs,

I am currently in the last four days of a two week trip to America (mostly in the Greater New York area) with my five year- old daughter. Included in our itinerary were my parents' 50th Anniversary party and my cousin's wedding, for which we all up and went all the way out to San Antonio, Texas.

As most post-band life experiences have proven to be, this trip home has been different than the many others I have taken before. Why? Read on:

I came back thinner, not fatter

No more discreet glances at my midsection before saying hello... no more harrowing conversations with my mother about how I'm going to leave my four children fatherless at a young age, no more having the roll call of family members with diabetes read at me, no more coming back home and feeling that I've made no progress in dealing with my weight problem since I used to live here.

food has finally left the building

Coming back home used to be all about food - eating from the four major food groups (pizza, deli, Chinese and Italian), enjoying my beloved traditional New York Breakfast of eggs, home fried potatoes, sausage, ham and bacon and toast with butter, chowing down on Mom's cooking and checking out the fridge at late at night at whoever's house we were staying at. My entire relationship with food seems to have changed. I can walk through a supermarket without swallowing mouthfulls of drool. I've ordered Soups or appetizers during the few times I've eaten out and left food over most of the time. I haven't had that breakfast once (and haven't missed it) and haven't binged once. My tastes have changed, too - I naturally gravitate toward lighter and healthier foods.

I've stayed away from trouble

I've stayed away from food at moments which I anticipate to be stressful and where I am prone to overeat. One example was at my parents' party, held at my sister's house, with whom I've had an uneasy relationship at best. She is also obese and the house was full of food that day. I just stayed away from food - it's not like I never had a bagel and cream cheese before or would never have one again, after all. And as a result of this, of being willing to give up the food, I was blessed with such clarity of mind and calmness, and I was able to interact genuinely with everyone that was there and add to the happiness of the day and enjoy it all. I subsisted on juice and diet soda and then had my normal small meal when the party was over. Because of the band, I'm much less hungry than I ever was before, and my appetite is one tenth of what it used to be, so this strategy is entirely realistic for me now.

Wherever I've stayed, I've lived in the present.

Trips can be stressful, family trips can be very stressful, family trips with a small child (no matter how delightful or cute or intelligent or charming) away from her mother can be especially stressful. I've really tried to live in the present and not obsess about whatever just happened (since I can't change it) or is going to happen (since I do not know for sure what that is going to be). I am reading a book which is giving me a lot of help in this regard, and I would like to share it with you: Healing into Immortality, by Dr. Gerald Epstein. Praying, using different formats and at varying times, has also proven very important for me.

As the result of all this, I am actually continuing to lose weight, in keeping of my goal of returning home lighter than I was when I left (who says it's so hard losing weight in America - many of you are doing it here every day!). I set out on the 30th of April at 221 pounds and am at 213 now. I'm returning to Israel on Thursday and will immediately start planning my next journey: a one way trip to Onederland! Thank you all so much - your support and knowledge and sharing have been indispensible.

Love to all,

Edited May 13, 200818 yr by bandpal

I hope it's a "short quick flight" to onederland, BandPal.

Sounds like you've had a great trip. I wish I had the restriction you have. It scared me how easily I was able to eat almost everything on vacation. I really don't want food to have so much control over me, but without good restriction, I caved to temptation.

I've had that feeling of being in control a few times since surgery and it's wonderful to look at food and be able to say "no thanks".

I am having trouble getting to sweet spot, when I get a fill I swell a lot and get so tight it hurts. Not just hurting when I eat, but all the time, like a heart attack. I had to have some taken out, but that has left me without good restriction. I plan to ask them to just add a tiny amount at a time and not withdraw all that's already in there, hoping that will help.

Thanks for the update!

Bandpal,

It sounds like your trip is going very well. Good for you for staying in control and not using the excuse that you are home and want to try your old favorites.

It is a wonderful feeling to be in control. Summer used to be very hard for me because my friend has a pool and there are lots of girls weekends and parties for every holiday and food is a big deal. I've been to one girls weekend and I lost weight. I was surprised and very happy. I now know that I can go to the parties and enjoy myself without stuffing my face. Who woulda thunk it? lol

I am going to Vegas on Thursday and I am not the least bit worried about food or what I will eat. I know I am in control and will do just fine.

Enjoy the rest of your trip and have safe flight home. You will be in onederland soon and forever.

Jill

Awesome, Bandpal! It sounds like everything is going so well. Good for you. I'm happy to see that it's had such a positive effect on you and especially when it comes to relating to your family. That's always a plus.