SuzeMuze

I try not to take too much offense at folks who make these kinds of flippant remarks. What I think a lot of them don't realize are the very real physiological reasons why many of us aren't/weren't successful with traditional diet & exercise means as a way to lose weight. Unless we're very open about ourselves, (which I'm not) it's probably not public knowledge if you suffer from diabetes, sleep apnea, food addictions, or any number of other things that stand in the way of losing weight through diet and exercise alone. That's not anyone's fault. What is important is that we realized we needed help, we realized that bariatric surgery could be a tool that can help us reach our goal along with the diet & exercise. Easy way out? Please. This is the hardest thing I've ever done.

@@leag78
I've read through your post several times, and will offer my thoughts with the disclaimer that it's not my intention to offend anyone. At. All.
While I do believe that some friendships/relationship will change as a result of bariatric surgery, I think the causes can be quite different. I can't say that I've had the experience of a friend suddenly becoming jealous or try to sabotage what I'm trying to do- in fact, they've been some of my biggest cheerleaders. Then again, I'm not a young person anymore, which may come into play as well. My circle of friends and I are comfortably nestled into our 40's, and none of us play the part of the "hot friend". At the risk of stepping on any toes here, it's my thought that if one of my friends suddenly became distant or resentful of me making a decision to live a healthier life, I'd question the friendship itself. If it's a friendship that's really special to me, it would definitely be worth having a heart-to-heart to find out where the insecurities lie. Truth be told, weight loss seems to bring out a lot of insecurities in other people, just as our weight revealed a lot of our own insecurities. Friends who were once close can become distant. Significant others can suddenly feel left behind, wondering if you'll "trade up" once you've lost your weight. I try very hard to remain cognizant that while my decision to have WLS was primarily for health reasons, there may be those who only focus on the physical changes that accompany it. I would hate to see anyone go through relationship changes that are negative- but we're worth being good to ourselves, and removing not only the "toxic" food from our lives, but also the "toxic" people who can't understand what we're going through, or feel threatened by our decision. Just my 2 cents

That's awesome! When I tried NutriSystem years ago (among the many epic diet fails), they had something similar- a chain where you attached a pretty bead for every pound you lost. You then had a beautiful necklace to wear that got prettier with each pound closer to your goal you got. I should do something like that on my own, come to think of it

That's awesome! When I tried NutriSystem years ago (among the many epic diet fails), they had something similar- a chain where you attached a pretty bead for every pound you lost. You then had a beautiful necklace to wear that got prettier with each pound closer to your goal you got. I should do something like that on my own, come to think of it

Welcome (back) rocklandcountry! I'm always up for a chat- feel free to message me anytime

I chose Gastric Bypass for one reason only- I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes on Valentine's Day, 2013 (nice, huh?). After tons of research, it appeared to me that the bypass had the highest rate of managing/reversing diabetes, since exercise, changing my diet & diabetes meds were helping, but not enough. Don't get me wrong- the weight loss has been a fantastic "side effect" but I'm ecstatic to say that my blood sugars haven't gone above 100 since my surgery. I'm off all of my diabetes meds. Every. Single. One.

@@leag78
I've read through your post several times, and will offer my thoughts with the disclaimer that it's not my intention to offend anyone. At. All.
While I do believe that some friendships/relationship will change as a result of bariatric surgery, I think the causes can be quite different. I can't say that I've had the experience of a friend suddenly becoming jealous or try to sabotage what I'm trying to do- in fact, they've been some of my biggest cheerleaders. Then again, I'm not a young person anymore, which may come into play as well. My circle of friends and I are comfortably nestled into our 40's, and none of us play the part of the "hot friend". At the risk of stepping on any toes here, it's my thought that if one of my friends suddenly became distant or resentful of me making a decision to live a healthier life, I'd question the friendship itself. If it's a friendship that's really special to me, it would definitely be worth having a heart-to-heart to find out where the insecurities lie. Truth be told, weight loss seems to bring out a lot of insecurities in other people, just as our weight revealed a lot of our own insecurities. Friends who were once close can become distant. Significant others can suddenly feel left behind, wondering if you'll "trade up" once you've lost your weight. I try very hard to remain cognizant that while my decision to have WLS was primarily for health reasons, there may be those who only focus on the physical changes that accompany it. I would hate to see anyone go through relationship changes that are negative- but we're worth being good to ourselves, and removing not only the "toxic" food from our lives, but also the "toxic" people who can't understand what we're going through, or feel threatened by our decision. Just my 2 cents

@@leag78
I've read through your post several times, and will offer my thoughts with the disclaimer that it's not my intention to offend anyone. At. All.
While I do believe that some friendships/relationship will change as a result of bariatric surgery, I think the causes can be quite different. I can't say that I've had the experience of a friend suddenly becoming jealous or try to sabotage what I'm trying to do- in fact, they've been some of my biggest cheerleaders. Then again, I'm not a young person anymore, which may come into play as well. My circle of friends and I are comfortably nestled into our 40's, and none of us play the part of the "hot friend". At the risk of stepping on any toes here, it's my thought that if one of my friends suddenly became distant or resentful of me making a decision to live a healthier life, I'd question the friendship itself. If it's a friendship that's really special to me, it would definitely be worth having a heart-to-heart to find out where the insecurities lie. Truth be told, weight loss seems to bring out a lot of insecurities in other people, just as our weight revealed a lot of our own insecurities. Friends who were once close can become distant. Significant others can suddenly feel left behind, wondering if you'll "trade up" once you've lost your weight. I try very hard to remain cognizant that while my decision to have WLS was primarily for health reasons, there may be those who only focus on the physical changes that accompany it. I would hate to see anyone go through relationship changes that are negative- but we're worth being good to ourselves, and removing not only the "toxic" food from our lives, but also the "toxic" people who can't understand what we're going through, or feel threatened by our decision. Just my 2 cents

@@Jaghomer
I think it's very brave of you to write your feelings here, in a public forum. I can't speak for everyone, but I think seeing your fears/faults in writing is very powerful and motivating. We're all rooting for you to get back on track- you can do it!

@@tphillips124
There's a very easy answer to this question. Call your surgeon/NUT. That's what they're there for. Each of us can put down what we were told & what we take, but it may not be what's right for you. And this forum is for us folks to share our experiences and our opinions...not give medical advice. The poster just before me takes Iron and Vitamin D...I don't. That's what's right for them, but not for me. Trust your surgical team- they know you better than any of us & know what's best.

Ahhh, more sweet toothed folks out there! Good to meet ya! Everything suggested above looks yummy, but I would throw a word of caution out there (not to seem like a wet blanket) that I make a point of checking the calorie count of those Protein bars. 20 grams of Protein sounds great, but some of those bars I've seen can pack over 300 calories! sugar-free doesn't necessarily mean "low calorie"- those things are sweetened with sugar alcohols, which can be just as high in carbs as some high octane sugary stuff. All depends on what you're trying to accomplish and watch, but for me, 300 calories isn't worth it. I can be happy with one sugar free Peppermint Pattie type candy from Weight Watchers for about 60 calories... I just eat it all slow and dramatic-like, like they do on the commercials & walk a little extra on the treadmill With that being said, sugar free pudding, Breyer's Carb Smart fudge bars & Hershey's Sugar Free baking chips are awesome!

@@Jaghomer
I think it's very brave of you to write your feelings here, in a public forum. I can't speak for everyone, but I think seeing your fears/faults in writing is very powerful and motivating. We're all rooting for you to get back on track- you can do it!

Wow, how fortunate for you if the WLS "produced the weight loss & you were only along for the ride"! I wish I could say that my journey was effortless like yours. Truth be told, this is the hardest damned thing I've ever done, and way more work than I'd ever thought. (though I don't regret anything for a second!) I feel that if I didn't "diet", the surgery wouldn't' be nearly as successful. I never once looked at WLS as the "fix" for my weight problems, but rather as a tool to help ME do the work.

I told my family, my boss, and a couple of close friends right away. Initially I too thought I wasn't going to tell anyone because I didn't want to be judged. But after a lot of soul searching I came to the realization that for me, doing that would be admitting that I carry the same stigma about bariatric surgery that so many others do. Rather than not telling people, I'm ok with it, because through educating folks, I'm possibly removing those stigma one person at a time, rather than letting it flourish through my silence. Who knows... maybe someone close to me is considering it and is afraid to talk about it- I could be of great help! Honestly, I haven't had anyone ask me what I've been doing, or how much I've lost.... just that I look great. I'll take that

Mine's pretty simple but it made me smile...
I got out of the shower this morning, and realized a regular sized towel fits all the way around me now

There's another side to this too, I think. I had a co-worker come to me just yesterday rather timidly, saying she wasn't sure how to say it or if she even should, but she thought I'd looked like I lost weight & wanted to compliment me, but thought she might embarrass me. Granted, when I do get compliments, I've realized that I have to learn how to accept them- I'm not someone who's used to being the center of attention, and when I am, I shuffle my feet and am not sure of what to say other than a mumbled, "Thanks."
Now, some people do open their yaps before their brain is switched to the "on" position, but there are folks out there too who want to compliment us, but aren't sure how. And it's not necessarily an unintentional slam that we looked like crap before...but they really care about us & are proud of us. Sometimes it just comes out wrong.

Wow, how fortunate for you if the WLS "produced the weight loss & you were only along for the ride"! I wish I could say that my journey was effortless like yours. Truth be told, this is the hardest damned thing I've ever done, and way more work than I'd ever thought. (though I don't regret anything for a second!) I feel that if I didn't "diet", the surgery wouldn't' be nearly as successful. I never once looked at WLS as the "fix" for my weight problems, but rather as a tool to help ME do the work.

@@leag78
I've read through your post several times, and will offer my thoughts with the disclaimer that it's not my intention to offend anyone. At. All.
While I do believe that some friendships/relationship will change as a result of bariatric surgery, I think the causes can be quite different. I can't say that I've had the experience of a friend suddenly becoming jealous or try to sabotage what I'm trying to do- in fact, they've been some of my biggest cheerleaders. Then again, I'm not a young person anymore, which may come into play as well. My circle of friends and I are comfortably nestled into our 40's, and none of us play the part of the "hot friend". At the risk of stepping on any toes here, it's my thought that if one of my friends suddenly became distant or resentful of me making a decision to live a healthier life, I'd question the friendship itself. If it's a friendship that's really special to me, it would definitely be worth having a heart-to-heart to find out where the insecurities lie. Truth be told, weight loss seems to bring out a lot of insecurities in other people, just as our weight revealed a lot of our own insecurities. Friends who were once close can become distant. Significant others can suddenly feel left behind, wondering if you'll "trade up" once you've lost your weight. I try very hard to remain cognizant that while my decision to have WLS was primarily for health reasons, there may be those who only focus on the physical changes that accompany it. I would hate to see anyone go through relationship changes that are negative- but we're worth being good to ourselves, and removing not only the "toxic" food from our lives, but also the "toxic" people who can't understand what we're going through, or feel threatened by our decision. Just my 2 cents

There's another side to this too, I think. I had a co-worker come to me just yesterday rather timidly, saying she wasn't sure how to say it or if she even should, but she thought I'd looked like I lost weight & wanted to compliment me, but thought she might embarrass me. Granted, when I do get compliments, I've realized that I have to learn how to accept them- I'm not someone who's used to being the center of attention, and when I am, I shuffle my feet and am not sure of what to say other than a mumbled, "Thanks."
Now, some people do open their yaps before their brain is switched to the "on" position, but there are folks out there too who want to compliment us, but aren't sure how. And it's not necessarily an unintentional slam that we looked like crap before...but they really care about us & are proud of us. Sometimes it just comes out wrong.

There's another side to this too, I think. I had a co-worker come to me just yesterday rather timidly, saying she wasn't sure how to say it or if she even should, but she thought I'd looked like I lost weight & wanted to compliment me, but thought she might embarrass me. Granted, when I do get compliments, I've realized that I have to learn how to accept them- I'm not someone who's used to being the center of attention, and when I am, I shuffle my feet and am not sure of what to say other than a mumbled, "Thanks."
Now, some people do open their yaps before their brain is switched to the "on" position, but there are folks out there too who want to compliment us, but aren't sure how. And it's not necessarily an unintentional slam that we looked like crap before...but they really care about us & are proud of us. Sometimes it just comes out wrong.

Personally, I think an important thing to keep pointing out is for all of these horror stories is that they can possibly occur if you don't follow your surgeon's advice and/or don't keep up with your medical checkups after surgery. Do your bones lose density? Yep. So we take extra Calcium. Could you experience hair loss? Yep. So we make sure to get plenty of Protein to try and prevent it. No surgery is risk-free, and no side effect can be guaranteed it won't happen. Like Thin-for-Kidney said, follow what your doc tells you, and you'll have the best chance of sailing through

One of the easiest things to say, but hardest to do is not compare ourselves to others who had bariatric surgery at the same time we did. I'm about 9 weeks post op myself, and have come to terms with the following, which hopefully may help you:
1. Everyone loses weight differently. To hold someone else's success as our standard is dooming yourself to failure...frustration...and a higher level of recidivism back to your old eating habits.
2. From my own conversations with my surgeon/NUT...folks also lose weight relatively in proportion to how overweight they were to begin with. I was 242 pounds at 5'6"...and yet I was told I "wasn't that big". I'd love to lose weight faster too, but every person I've talked to has said the heavier you initially are, the faster the weight will initially come off. I believe it.
3. Take a good, close look at your diet. Find out your surgeon's recommendations for Protein, carbs, fat and total calories. I thought I was doing well enough until my first post op NUT visit where I found out I was expected to have only 30-50 grams of carbs a day. (increasing at about a year post-op) As someone who doesn't care for meat or dairy products, it's not leaving me with many choices. Add to that the disappointing discovery that my Vitamins (which we'll be taking for the rest of our lives) total 15 grams of carbs a day, it's really hard some days to keep my ingested carbs next to nothing.
4. Exercise is a horrible/beautiful thing. The hardest part is actually getting my butt up and getting started. I'm miserable and complaining in my head for a good 20 minutes on the treadmill, resenting every average weight yet lazy person I can think of But once you cross that "hump", walking can become addictive, especially if you use a step tracker or something like a FitBit or Jawbone. There are a number of step counter free apps for Smartphones out there, and before I got my FitBit, I used one to set daily goals for myself. I actually feel guilty and angry/determined if it gets to be dinner time and I haven't met my goal. Seeing those numbers turn green with a smiley face is very motivating to me. (As are a really good pair of walking shoes). Long story short, exercise will help with weight loss... seriously.
5. Your body has just gone through major surgery about 3 weeks ago- be gentle with it You'll still be healing for weeks yet, as your body tries to figure out what you just did and start letting go of the extra pounds instead of clicking into "starvation mode".
6. You've lost 13 pounds?? That's fantastic! That's 13 pounds less to carry around, and maybe 13 pounds more than you'd have lost trying another unsuccessful diet.
I'd be a big old hypocrite if I said I never compared myself to other folks who also had surgery in October. But I don't know their stories, just my own. I'll get there when I'm destined to get there. And I'll be thrilled

Y'know what? The number of folks who've died from bariatric surgery is waaaaay less than those who have died from diabetes, heart disease & any of the other comorbidities that so many of us suffer. I know a number of folks who've died after open heart surgery. Would that keep me from having it if it were deemed the proper avenue to improve and/or save my life? No way. Sure, every surgery has its risks- bariatric surgery's are very low. When you look at your quality of life and its projected outcome, is it better than the quality of life projected with successful bariatric surgery? Sorry, I get fired up when folks get anxious as a result of someone who uses scare tactics like this.

Wow, how fortunate for you if the WLS "produced the weight loss & you were only along for the ride"! I wish I could say that my journey was effortless like yours. Truth be told, this is the hardest damned thing I've ever done, and way more work than I'd ever thought. (though I don't regret anything for a second!) I feel that if I didn't "diet", the surgery wouldn't' be nearly as successful. I never once looked at WLS as the "fix" for my weight problems, but rather as a tool to help ME do the work.

@@bellabloom
While there is a lot of your post that I'd link arms with you and cheer "Go get 'em!" for, I have to respectfully disagree concerning "starvation mode". I think that the term may not be entirely accurate, but the condition to some extent exists. Our bodies were meant to hold onto the fat we have- particularly us women. When we suddenly slash our calories to a fraction of what they were, I believe our bodies do switch into "panic mode"- hence our stalls/hair loss/dry skin/feeling cold as our bodies readjust periodically. You're right in that countries without adequate food have people that indeed starve- but that's not the goal here, I don't think. Those folks in countries where they can't eat properly sure do lose weight...with the heartbreaking and deadly side effects of malnutrition. IMO, that's not a desirable side effect of losing weight.
I, too have talked with folks who were told to "eat more to lose more", but invariably these folks were starving themselves and stalling out and/or not exercising properly. Where I think the problem perhaps lies is the spin that the media puts on diet fads and giving the "one size fits all" approach. I'll do what's right for me, and you'll do the same. Having those courageous conversations with our surgical staff about underlying food issues or nutritional recommendations is key in my opinion to finding out what will work for us. Just as I wouldn't caution anyone to eat more to lose weight, I also personally would never tell anyone to eat less than what they were guided to eat by their NUT/surgeon. I'm no doctor, and have no certification to make dietary recommendations to anyone. I might not understand what someone else's doctor is saying, but that's none of my business. I trust my doctor to know what's right for me.