shellyd88

I keep getting asked how much I've lost and how much I now weigh and what weight did I start at I've never told anyone except my husband and on here I'm just not comfortable answering it as these ppl fat shamed me and just want to know so they can gossip I won't tell I just say a lot and when they still say well I know but how much I repeat a lot and if they dare ask again I say it's not up for discussion it makes me nauseas that I'm past 6 months post op and it's all ppl want to talk about when they see me as if there are no other topics to discuss especially my sister and boss sister is " suddenly so proud of me for losing weight after all this time " apparently even though I've been a good person for 47 years cleaned up her messes time after time raised her child for 4 years helped her escape her abusive husband never been arrested held a job my entire life never in any trouble "finally" I'm worthy of her approval? Hmm was worthless when fat though and saved her ass so many times and never asked for or expected a damn thing in return yeah your welcome! Thank you for for condescending " approval"

@@Miss.Bunny447
When you go through hard times and live events you learn who your real friends are.
Your friend is probably disappointed in herself for not following through. She might not even realize it, and it is manifesting itself in this negative behavior.
I think more people need to really think about the people they call friends and family and if they really love them or understand what real unconditional love is. All of my close friends (note I said close) know I had surgery and they have all been overwhelming positive and supportive and not weird about it at all. I knew they really loved me before, but their reaction to my surgery has showed me how much and in how many ways.
If people don't want the best for you and can get past themselves to support you and love you, they don't really love you, not in a healthy way.
This is probably only going to get worse with your friend, if it ever gets better. You haven't even had surgery yet. When you have surgery and start to really visibly lose weight, your friend is probably going to really struggle. And if you are still friends with her when you hit regular sizes, shit is really going to hit the fan.
I'm not saying you should dump your friend, only you know what you can handle and what your friend means to you. However post-op is really stressful and the hormone fluctuations are real, so very real. You might not be able to deal with her when you are at like 6 weeks.
Good luck.

I think you should surround yourself with positive people/friends! You need support, not to be put down for making a life time change. Do this for YOU! I'm starting the process and my "close" friends are so supportive. Misery loves company!! Good Luck!
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Your supervisor sounds like a jerk and very immature. Grade school personality. I wouldn't let it bother you. Just remember that this surgery is for YOU not them. If you don't want to share then it's really none of his business.

On the plus side at least you could genuinely say no. Because who the heck would have fat surgery? Your supervisor is a twit. You did the right thing laughing it off. People like that just like to see that they have caused discomfort with their comments. You take that away from them they've got nothing. Best of luck with you surgery, good luck avoiding idiots.

I try not to respond to these kinds of remarks as I feel u can't explain it to those that never had the problem in the first place or in many cases those who don't wish to change so on the rare occasion that I even respond I say well I'm off meds I can walk bike etc that I couldn't do 200 lbs ago or those that make the easy way out comments I simply say well have the procedure and after you do in a few months we can revisit this conversation and u can tell me what u think is so easy about it... Funny they don't ever have anything more to say... To my face anyway

I keep getting asked how much I've lost and how much I now weigh and what weight did I start at I've never told anyone except my husband and on here I'm just not comfortable answering it as these ppl fat shamed me and just want to know so they can gossip I won't tell I just say a lot and when they still say well I know but how much I repeat a lot and if they dare ask again I say it's not up for discussion it makes me nauseas that I'm past 6 months post op and it's all ppl want to talk about when they see me as if there are no other topics to discuss especially my sister and boss sister is " suddenly so proud of me for losing weight after all this time " apparently even though I've been a good person for 47 years cleaned up her messes time after time raised her child for 4 years helped her escape her abusive husband never been arrested held a job my entire life never in any trouble "finally" I'm worthy of her approval? Hmm was worthless when fat though and saved her ass so many times and never asked for or expected a damn thing in return yeah your welcome! Thank you for for condescending " approval"

You simply say why yes I have thank you how is xyz... (Thing happening in their life) and keep it moving I also remind myself( often muttering under my breath that I'm gonna need the bail money for my new wardrobe ) it really helps keep me sane when I wanna bitchslap ppl when they act so crazy and want to keep asking questions when I clearly don't have an interest in discussing it with them

I keep getting asked how much I've lost and how much I now weigh and what weight did I start at I've never told anyone except my husband and on here I'm just not comfortable answering it as these ppl fat shamed me and just want to know so they can gossip I won't tell I just say a lot and when they still say well I know but how much I repeat a lot and if they dare ask again I say it's not up for discussion it makes me nauseas that I'm past 6 months post op and it's all ppl want to talk about when they see me as if there are no other topics to discuss especially my sister and boss sister is " suddenly so proud of me for losing weight after all this time " apparently even though I've been a good person for 47 years cleaned up her messes time after time raised her child for 4 years helped her escape her abusive husband never been arrested held a job my entire life never in any trouble "finally" I'm worthy of her approval? Hmm was worthless when fat though and saved her ass so many times and never asked for or expected a damn thing in return yeah your welcome! Thank you for for condescending " approval"

I have been using that Einstein quote for a few weeks now. It definitely applies in this instance. You. Did. Good. I'm learning that boundaries that are safe for us can feel uncomfortable even when used appropriately in this case. I'm with you on this one; I am in the same place with regard to what I share with supervisors and coworkers. Only ONE person at my job knows, and she was the one who inspired me to consider WLS after becoming friends in graduate school years ago. This is you life, and you owe NO ONE your personal information. Kudos to you for keeping your business to yourself.

If this assclown even has a medical degree he likely printed it himself for any dr to undercut any effort u can make to help yourself is totally rediculous my Drs have told me to do whatever I'm capable of for as long as I can tolerate and to work up to at least 30 mins a day I've lost 180 lbs I'm walking as much as I can as I have vascular and nerve issues but I bike ride as well this person sounds like they are trying to put u down not lift you up I'd walk your ass away from that idiot

well first of all your doctor sounds like a jack ass. that being said. you do YOU. i know people who have lost without exercise and at least you're willing to be active in whatever way you can! that's super important! i haven't lost 130lbs but i've lost 80lbs (sleeved 7 months ago). i do run and lift weights but when i first started i was 240lbs and all i could do was walk. do what you can when you can and increase as you can. hopefully you can see someone else for post op visits! we got your back here. xo

This can happen to me if I eat foods too fatty or sweet I've learned to limit this to an occasional couple of bites this is how I got fat in the first place so is not a bad thing to limit the intake I also noticed that it really seemed more severe during the first few months it's a process to get back to normal

I have to say, even if I only lost 60% my health is in MUCH better shape than if I had not had surgery and I would still consider myself a success.
foot. I've lost 30% now and I already consider myself to be in much better health, off diabetes meds, almost off blood pressure meds, active and involved.
I think in a situation where people have to pay cash they probably spend even more time evaluating if they are ready to make the lifestyle changes needed for permanent success. this can work in your favor. I have friends who went that route.

You are not required to disclose the type of surgery or reason behind it that is confidential info by law they can"assume" anything they like you do not have to confirm anything nor justify it to anyone you likely will have to have the dr note as to required time off for recovery such as X amount of weeks etc this person sounds exactly like my boss she thinks she has the right to know all your business and I've heard the comments as well about my medical appts being "inconvenient" for them etc etc lol they are trial attorneys I run their home I don't argue the cases in court so how are you being Inconvienced? I had to have a biopsy once to find out if I had thyroid cancer ( I did) and I was told after a dramatic round of huffing and puffing how she was planning on sending me with her at the time young daughter out of town to a horse show ( not part of my job as I'm not the mom or a nanny) so I flipped out and told her it wasn't happening etc Oh the tragedy that will occur if I mop the floor tomm instead of today? Stand up for yourself these ppl will always find reasons why u should wait to do anything for yourself even medical stuff u can't be nice to those kind of ppl they will just use it against u and try to guilt u into accommodating their needs above yours they just don't care about anyone other then themselves

You are not required to disclose the type of surgery or reason behind it that is confidential info by law they can"assume" anything they like you do not have to confirm anything nor justify it to anyone you likely will have to have the dr note as to required time off for recovery such as X amount of weeks etc this person sounds exactly like my boss she thinks she has the right to know all your business and I've heard the comments as well about my medical appts being "inconvenient" for them etc etc lol they are trial attorneys I run their home I don't argue the cases in court so how are you being Inconvienced? I had to have a biopsy once to find out if I had thyroid cancer ( I did) and I was told after a dramatic round of huffing and puffing how she was planning on sending me with her at the time young daughter out of town to a horse show ( not part of my job as I'm not the mom or a nanny) so I flipped out and told her it wasn't happening etc Oh the tragedy that will occur if I mop the floor tomm instead of today? Stand up for yourself these ppl will always find reasons why u should wait to do anything for yourself even medical stuff u can't be nice to those kind of ppl they will just use it against u and try to guilt u into accommodating their needs above yours they just don't care about anyone other then themselves

You are not required to disclose the type of surgery or reason behind it that is confidential info by law they can"assume" anything they like you do not have to confirm anything nor justify it to anyone you likely will have to have the dr note as to required time off for recovery such as X amount of weeks etc this person sounds exactly like my boss she thinks she has the right to know all your business and I've heard the comments as well about my medical appts being "inconvenient" for them etc etc lol they are trial attorneys I run their home I don't argue the cases in court so how are you being Inconvienced? I had to have a biopsy once to find out if I had thyroid cancer ( I did) and I was told after a dramatic round of huffing and puffing how she was planning on sending me with her at the time young daughter out of town to a horse show ( not part of my job as I'm not the mom or a nanny) so I flipped out and told her it wasn't happening etc Oh the tragedy that will occur if I mop the floor tomm instead of today? Stand up for yourself these ppl will always find reasons why u should wait to do anything for yourself even medical stuff u can't be nice to those kind of ppl they will just use it against u and try to guilt u into accommodating their needs above yours they just don't care about anyone other then themselves

I totally agree do see your dr tuna may be not for you just yet even if told u can have it tummy won't always agree I know this from experience the first few weeks and months weren't easy nor fun it's a long process at times to get back to eating normal food I was weak as well for 7 weeks I had to force myself to get up and do things if only for a few mins at a time when I went back to work I thought I wouldn't make it as I take care of a very large private home I got lucky in the fact that they happened to be away for 2 weeks and I was able to go at a slower pace but was very tired for months after I'm 15 months out now sleeved I'm biking now something I haven't done since I was 19 I promise it will get better it doesn't seem like it but it will good luck

I totally agree do see your dr tuna may be not for you just yet even if told u can have it tummy won't always agree I know this from experience the first few weeks and months weren't easy nor fun it's a long process at times to get back to eating normal food I was weak as well for 7 weeks I had to force myself to get up and do things if only for a few mins at a time when I went back to work I thought I wouldn't make it as I take care of a very large private home I got lucky in the fact that they happened to be away for 2 weeks and I was able to go at a slower pace but was very tired for months after I'm 15 months out now sleeved I'm biking now something I haven't done since I was 19 I promise it will get better it doesn't seem like it but it will good luck

Too old to make new friends? I can't count the number of dear friends I've made since I was 38!
I'm sorry you're feeling lonely, but this statement really shocked me.

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I have no idea how to answer but I'm curious to see what others say. Personally even thoigh I've lost 150 lbs i still have the mentality of the fat girl who ws always trying to hide herself with baggy clothes, oversized hoodies and such.

I try not to respond to these kinds of remarks as I feel u can't explain it to those that never had the problem in the first place or in many cases those who don't wish to change so on the rare occasion that I even respond I say well I'm off meds I can walk bike etc that I couldn't do 200 lbs ago or those that make the easy way out comments I simply say well have the procedure and after you do in a few months we can revisit this conversation and u can tell me what u think is so easy about it... Funny they don't ever have anything more to say... To my face anyway

I try not to respond to these kinds of remarks as I feel u can't explain it to those that never had the problem in the first place or in many cases those who don't wish to change so on the rare occasion that I even respond I say well I'm off meds I can walk bike etc that I couldn't do 200 lbs ago or those that make the easy way out comments I simply say well have the procedure and after you do in a few months we can revisit this conversation and u can tell me what u think is so easy about it... Funny they don't ever have anything more to say... To my face anyway

Yes and it makes me mad suddenly I'm worth speaking to or being treated with respect I just passed a year post op and it's still all ppl want to talk about and loudly too about how much I've lost and how wonderful I look seems idiotic I've always been a decent person and now everyone is so " proud" of me what right do they have to be proud or not they had nothing to do with the loss or the gain before that