mousecrazy

Ivan, sorry you are going through such trials and tribulations with the insurance industry. Still, I don't think you have let down your family. You have taken control of a big health issue that would have surely lead to some serious consequences. A year after your surgery, you can get life insurance, not at the cheapest rate, but you can get it. I have life insurance, and wanted to upgrade the amount (this was about 3 years ago) and was denied due to being so much overweight. I remember they specifically said I had to weigh no more than 230 to qualify to raise my coverage. So, I still haven't been able to increase my coverage. Isn't it weird that you can drink like a fish, engage in all kinds of risky behavior, but since you can't document it or measure it, you can get all the life insurance you want? But have lapband surgery, and whoa! No way. It doesn't make sense. You HAVE taken care of your family by taking care of yourself. It will all work out for you. Cindy

Let's talk about weight and perception of weight. Very few subjects cause as many intense reactions as a discussion of weight....unless you want to mention religion and politics, which I don't (right now, anyway!). I remember doing exercises with my mom when I was probably 10 or so...by the time I was in jr. high, we were trying all kinds of crazy diets. Remember the one where one day you ate only bananas, the next day was eggs, the next day grapefruit...I think there were 10 days of that. How about the cabbage soup diet? Check! Hypnosis? Check! A tablespoon of vinegar before every meal? Check! The original Atkins diet, complete with ketosis strips you tested your pee with? Check! Aerobics? Check. Step classes? Check. Weight lifting? Check. Weight dares and competitions, with cash prizes? Check. You know what I'm talking about. When I was a young adult, I found out about those doctors - the ones who would talk to you for a few minutes, then write you a prescription; mine was for Tenuate. All you had to do to get more was lose some weight each month. That wasn't a problem! And, I had a really clean apartment! This drug brought about one of the greatest sustained weight losses ever...I actually wore a size 10. You can't stay on diet pills forever, so that had to end, and the weight came right back. It took a while, but I gained it all, and another 80. Sure, I intervened from time to time, and the term "yo-yo dieting" was my lifestyle. For those of us of a certain age, Twiggy had a profound effect on our self-concepts. I look at pictures from high school, and I see a perfectly healthy, vibrant 17 year old. I remember thinking I was fat, even then, at 5'7" and 135. I mean, embarrassed about it kind of fat. Can it be true that thinking something actually does make it true? I wonder if my fellow bandsters have had similar thoughts, at least the ones who were a normal weight as teenagers and gained weight during adulthood? If one's perceptions are that powerful, that they can actually create reality, then I think I'm going to try an idea someone on the LBT boards wrote about...I'm telling myself that I'm losing weight, and that I weigh about 10 lbs less than I actually do...and create the reality I desire. My brain is so full of negative self-talk, I figure it can't hurt to use a little positive self-talk to win the battle. I'm grateful for being able to work with kids who have hard situations, and help them make a success out of their lives. It's so great to do something you love! I'm grateful that today has brought a break in the clouds for me, emotionally. I'm grateful for my home, which is safe and full of love, if also quite a bit messy. To be continued...

Let's talk about weight and perception of weight. Very few subjects cause as many intense reactions as a discussion of weight....unless you want to mention religion and politics, which I don't (right now, anyway!). I remember doing exercises with my mom when I was probably 10 or so...by the time I was in jr. high, we were trying all kinds of crazy diets. Remember the one where one day you ate only bananas, the next day was eggs, the next day grapefruit...I think there were 10 days of that. How about the cabbage soup diet? Check! Hypnosis? Check! A tablespoon of vinegar before every meal? Check! The original Atkins diet, complete with ketosis strips you tested your pee with? Check! Aerobics? Check. Step classes? Check. Weight lifting? Check. Weight dares and competitions, with cash prizes? Check. You know what I'm talking about. When I was a young adult, I found out about those doctors - the ones who would talk to you for a few minutes, then write you a prescription; mine was for Tenuate. All you had to do to get more was lose some weight each month. That wasn't a problem! And, I had a really clean apartment! This drug brought about one of the greatest sustained weight losses ever...I actually wore a size 10. You can't stay on diet pills forever, so that had to end, and the weight came right back. It took a while, but I gained it all, and another 80. Sure, I intervened from time to time, and the term "yo-yo dieting" was my lifestyle. For those of us of a certain age, Twiggy had a profound effect on our self-concepts. I look at pictures from high school, and I see a perfectly healthy, vibrant 17 year old. I remember thinking I was fat, even then, at 5'7" and 135. I mean, embarrassed about it kind of fat. Can it be true that thinking something actually does make it true? I wonder if my fellow bandsters have had similar thoughts, at least the ones who were a normal weight as teenagers and gained weight during adulthood? If one's perceptions are that powerful, that they can actually create reality, then I think I'm going to try an idea someone on the LBT boards wrote about...I'm telling myself that I'm losing weight, and that I weigh about 10 lbs less than I actually do...and create the reality I desire. My brain is so full of negative self-talk, I figure it can't hurt to use a little positive self-talk to win the battle. I'm grateful for being able to work with kids who have hard situations, and help them make a success out of their lives. It's so great to do something you love! I'm grateful that today has brought a break in the clouds for me, emotionally. I'm grateful for my home, which is safe and full of love, if also quite a bit messy. To be continued...

:thankyou: Way to go, Betty!!!!!!!!!! That is soooo awesome, 92 lbs!!!!!!! Pat, I think I can hear the maniacal laughter all the way in Texas! Laughter IS the best medicine, so keep it up! I don't think I'm gonna make that amount, at this rate. I haven't seen my scales do anything but mmove up one pound - down one pound- up one pound....but, like you told us, my clothes are getting loser, and I can wear some pants I hadn't been able to wear a few weeks ago, so something is changing! Eileen, what's up with the sleep? Same thing going on here. It's been going on for the last 3 nights or so...I try to use all my relaxation techniques, but they are not working right now. Let's have nice warm cup of tea tonight before bed...herbal, of course...and see if that helps. Maybe a warm bath? It's already the end of the day, and I'm just posting....it's been so busy today! Problem du jour: a good way to tell my sis that my DH and her DH can't really be around each other, due to her DH's hard drinking. It seems simple enough, but we also have to tell her that he absolutely cannot drive a car that my DD is riding in. It is tough, but it would be tougher if something happened. Thought I'd throw it out there if anyone wants to bite. Guess what? Another meeting to go to...I bet if we had time to DO the things we MEET about, we wouldn't need meetings! Love you guys, Cindy

Jan 23, Monday B: Zone Perfect L: chicken strip salad from Wendy's...I had the chicken and some of the rest of the salad D:scrambled eggs with ham and cheese, and a crescent roll NO ICE CREAM! Water: 45 oz Vitamins/calcium: yes Cindy

Jan 22, Sunday B: McCann's steel-cut oatmeal with dried blueberries (made it in the little crockpot with a timer; more details if you want them) L: chicken noodle soup S: Slim-fast protein drink S: chips and queso dip...(we call it the Tom Landry Memorial cheese dip!) D: Water: Vitamins/calcium: yes

Laundry! Isn't it just the most unending, thankless task of all? Weirdly enough, it's the one housekeeping task that I kinda like...it's clean, I like the smell, and you can see how much you have accomplished! Don't throw shoes at me, but we do have someone come every other week to do the heavy cleaning...dusting, vacuuming, bathrooms, floors, etc. It's just something I don't like, and I don't want to spend my time off of work to do it. It is surprisingly affordable. So, I deal with the laundry...it would like really whiney if I complained too much about that. Around here, all 3 of us are packrats, so having a House Beautiful home is not a reality. LOL! It's driving me nuts lately, and I've done my share of grousing...when all the storage areas are full of old crap, where do you put the new crap? (Is crap okay to say on the boards...if it isn't, just tell me!) Every chance I get, I'm sneaking something (of theirs!) to the trash, and burying it under something so they don't see it and sneak it out! Yes, they do that! LOL! I am soooo looking forward to pictures from Zan, Eileen and Beanie!!!! Eileen, you know, I say you just call the dr. and say, "I'm ready for my fill." Just like that. You are the customer. I don't know what size plates of food you are talking about, but I can eat quite a bit myself, with a total of .7cc in my band. It all depends on how slow I eat, and how well I chew...I've noticed that if I'm upset at all, I will get that golfball every time! The band makes you focus on your eating, that's for sure! Everything will work out. Betty, you little party girl! Glad you had a good time! Pat, here I am! I'm sitting here watching the 2nd football game, and hoping the Seahawks do better than the Broncos! I forgot to tell you yesterday that I use Bare Escentuals make-up, and have for almost two years. It is expensive, but it lasts a LONG time, and I buy it on Ebay sometimes for a little less than it costs elsewhere. I really like it, and it has helped my complexion. I've always had a pretty good complexion, but since the menopause thing, I get more break outs...isn't that a kick in the patootie? So, do tell...how did you like it? I bet you bought one of everything! Sherry, I'm gonna check out your picture after I finish writing this...we held vigil for Beanie until she got her band approved, and we will do the same for you! It is raining in North Texas, and it was actually nice to be outside in it. I am one of those reverse SAD people (seasonal affective disorder); I like bad weather...rain, snow, thunderstorms....they make me feel cozy. About the journal...I am using it for my real journal stuff...I don't always talk about this stuff on the regular threads...so the journal doesn't have much to do with weight. I've gone on too long, and still didn't address all of you! Please forgive, and I'll getcha next time! Cindy

Moral support, here! I am with you on the complacency angle...it started for me, like Jamie, during the holidays. I'm just now starting to get my spark back, and it goes out with the first puff of an obstacle. Isn't that the beauty of the band, though? While we are stuck in a rut, it's still there, guarding us and protecting us from ourselves. So, porclndoll, Nana, Jammin' and Losin'....since we're all in the same boat, let's row it together! We've seen this foe before...we know what to do! Thanks for posting about it! Cindy

Welcome, IrishAnna! Good luck to you, and post any questions...someone will be around to answer! Use the search feature, too...it's a wealth of info from past questions and concerns...I used it so much right before my banding. Good luck! Cindy

First, congratulations on your surgery and welcome to bandland! I like the Atkins protein drinks...I mixed unflavored protein powder (Unjury) in Gatorade. Cream of chicken cup of soup. Crystal Light with protein powder (vanilla Unjury). Sugar free popsicles. I did have pudding, but more like a week or so after surgery. Just remember that your espophagus and stomach have had a bit of a shock, and the easier you can be on them while they heal, the better off you're going to be in the long run. It's hard, but it's worth it. Take care of yourself, and keep posting! Cindy

The important thing about this date is that it is (was) my parents anniversary. It would have been their 51st anniversary. I am proud of dad...he went to church this morning and we sat together. It seems like just yesterday we were sitting in church, last year, celebrating their 50th anniversary! My DS and I had special flowers on the altar to commemorate the special day. We all posed together after church, with the flowers...we had all their friends send cards, and we have a great big storage box full of those cards. Mom's dream was to take all of us to Disneyworld for their 50th anniversary...we did that Christmas 2004. Thank God we did that when we did...if we had chosen to wait until summer, well, we wouldn't have had that trip. So, Mom and Dad took all 8 of us (my sister, husband and son...DH, DD, and me..plus the two of them) to Disneyworld for 8 days at Christmas! We did everything! Mom couldn't do the really intense rides, due the abdominal aneurysm, but she had the biggest smile on her face the whole time, just so thrilled that they could give us such a great treat! I like scrapbooking, and have planned to make 3 scrapbooks, one for my sis's family, one for us, and one for my parents. I have not been able to work on them...after she died, when I look at those pictures, I get lost in sadness that I won't ever, ever see that face again (here on earth, anyway). So, all the pictures and really cute scrapbook stuff sits in the cabinet, waiting on me. I know it will be such a healing experience to put it together, and I look forward to doing it, when I'm ready. So, on their anniversary, I honor my parents' devotion and commitment. It was not always easy; perhaps it was rarely easy. They had their arguments, and they had their differences. But I learned this: marriage is a decision, and love is a decision. Love is giving it all, when the chips are down and the road is rough. Love is getting each other through the good and bad times, and the even worse times. There is sacrifice in love. There are tears and joy beyond measure. When I sit here today and think back on my parents' marriage, the vow, "Until death do us part" means more than it ever has before. They kept their vows. What an accomplishment. I am grateful for the lessons in love I learned from my mom and dad. I am grateful for the rainy day we have today, and the cooler weather. I am grateful for my church, and the people who have surrounded us with love and care. To be continued....

The important thing about this date is that it is (was) my parents anniversary. It would have been their 51st anniversary. I am proud of dad...he went to church this morning and we sat together. It seems like just yesterday we were sitting in church, last year, celebrating their 50th anniversary! My DS and I had special flowers on the altar to commemorate the special day. We all posed together after church, with the flowers...we had all their friends send cards, and we have a great big storage box full of those cards. Mom's dream was to take all of us to Disneyworld for their 50th anniversary...we did that Christmas 2004. Thank God we did that when we did...if we had chosen to wait until summer, well, we wouldn't have had that trip. So, Mom and Dad took all 8 of us (my sister, husband and son...DH, DD, and me..plus the two of them) to Disneyworld for 8 days at Christmas! We did everything! Mom couldn't do the really intense rides, due the abdominal aneurysm, but she had the biggest smile on her face the whole time, just so thrilled that they could give us such a great treat! I like scrapbooking, and have planned to make 3 scrapbooks, one for my sis's family, one for us, and one for my parents. I have not been able to work on them...after she died, when I look at those pictures, I get lost in sadness that I won't ever, ever see that face again (here on earth, anyway). So, all the pictures and really cute scrapbook stuff sits in the cabinet, waiting on me. I know it will be such a healing experience to put it together, and I look forward to doing it, when I'm ready. So, on their anniversary, I honor my parents' devotion and commitment. It was not always easy; perhaps it was rarely easy. They had their arguments, and they had their differences. But I learned this: marriage is a decision, and love is a decision. Love is giving it all, when the chips are down and the road is rough. Love is getting each other through the good and bad times, and the even worse times. There is sacrifice in love. There are tears and joy beyond measure. When I sit here today and think back on my parents' marriage, the vow, "Until death do us part" means more than it ever has before. They kept their vows. What an accomplishment. I am grateful for the lessons in love I learned from my mom and dad. I am grateful for the rainy day we have today, and the cooler weather. I am grateful for my church, and the people who have surrounded us with love and care. To be continued....

I'm so happy for you! And your puppy, too! Thanks for posting the good news! Cindy

Jan. 21 Saturday B: coffee L: Slim Fast High Protein drink, canned D: 1 beef rib, one potatoe croquet, salad, piece of Hawaiian bread, eclair (3/4 of it) NO ICE CREAM water: 30 oz Vitamins/calcium: yes Cindy

I've read so many people posting about the last meal syndrome...no one can convince you of this, but you will get to eat most of the food you like, after surgery, just not nearly as much. See what you can do to boot camp it through the next few days; anything you can accomplish before surgery can only help. Don't cancel. Good luck, and post anytime! Cindy

Welcome to LBT! Take it easy, remember that you are letting your esophagus and stomach heal, and they are pretty stressed after surgery. Post any worries or questions here, and there will be someone here to help you. Cindy

Hi, Mary! You've gone through a lot, and you're on your way to losing the weight that has caused you so much trouble. Keep after it, have courage, and thanks for posting here! We'll be here to cheer you on! Cindy

We share the same reasons for lapband surgery...and just hearing the excitement and pride in your post brings chill bumps to my arms! That's the ticket, girl....skate away! A big hug of joy for you! Cindy

HI to all of you! It's like a 3 for 1 sale! The more you read, the more you'll see that the journey is very individual for each of us. I know some of us talk about being able to eat whatever we want, but I will bet you a nickel that amount post-band is NOTHING like the amount eaten pre-band. Just to give you an example, I used to eat 3 big honkin' bowls of cereal for lunch, or breakfast, or in the middle of the night. I have had one bowl, very small, of cereal since being banded 6 months ago. If I write about eating too much, you can be sure that the amount I am complaining about it more than half of what I used to eat. So, don't worry and don't be confused...start out on your journey, and take each development as it comes. Post your worries and questions, and see what kind of responses you get. I've found everyone supportive, and not shy about setting you straight if you're off base! Welcome to LBT! Cindy

Hi, everyone! Pat, I think you're right...we're on the same, reluctant schedule to get new fills. I did say I was thinking about it in March, didn't I? I"m just gonna ask them to do barely any...last time was .2cc, so that's what I'll ask for next time...I think. LOL! WoW! I can't believe that story about your former helper...what a liar! I can't stand stuff like that! Hope she enjoyed her rent free housing there for a few months! LOL! Beanie, Eileen, Zan...I sure hope ya'll had a great time! I'm waiting to hear about it! Anne...so is anti-fungal cream a good conditioner? I've never tried it! LOL! To all, a good night! Cindy PS...I started a journal on the journal section...needed to start one nayway, so thought I'd do a public one...what was I thinking? Check it out; it's not (at all) about weight loss...but I imagine I"ll hit on those topics at some point!

Saturdays...I remember when Saturdays meant sleeping late and hanging out, just waiting on Saturday night's excitement. Now, it still means sleeping late (well, anything later than 4:45 AM is late to me!) but the hanging out has pretty much disappeared. Now, there's laundry, and cleaning, and errands...there are bills to pay, activities to organize, and transportation to arrange (these last two are related to DD!) Saturday night excitement means my FIL is coming for dinner. Strangely, not always but 90% of the time, I'm not bitter about these changes; to the contrary, I rather like them. Living "on the edge" had its moments...my crazy younger days certainly hold their charm, even today. But just thinking about the uncertainties, the headaches, and the forgotten drives home are enough to make me thankful, not bitter. I'm one of the lucky ones, who found the right man at the right time, and we now have a normal, regular, happy little family. I laugh when I think that in days gone by, I wanted nothing whatsoever to do with "normal" or "boring". Now, I consider a boring day, a GOOD day! It's nice to remind myself of that when I've spent yet another Saturday organizing our lives to get through the next week. I still can't believe I'M the mother...you'd think at 50, I would think of myself as an adult, and I do, but maybe an adult in the 30-something range! I'm grateful for my funny little puppy that always makes me laugh...especially his yodel! I'm grateful for Saturdays, and the chance to be at home. I love my new Royal Elastics red and white shoes...they are so cute! To be continued....

Saturdays...I remember when Saturdays meant sleeping late and hanging out, just waiting on Saturday night's excitement. Now, it still means sleeping late (well, anything later than 4:45 AM is late to me!) but the hanging out has pretty much disappeared. Now, there's laundry, and cleaning, and errands...there are bills to pay, activities to organize, and transportation to arrange (these last two are related to DD!) Saturday night excitement means my FIL is coming for dinner. Strangely, not always but 90% of the time, I'm not bitter about these changes; to the contrary, I rather like them. Living "on the edge" had its moments...my crazy younger days certainly hold their charm, even today. But just thinking about the uncertainties, the headaches, and the forgotten drives home are enough to make me thankful, not bitter. I'm one of the lucky ones, who found the right man at the right time, and we now have a normal, regular, happy little family. I laugh when I think that in days gone by, I wanted nothing whatsoever to do with "normal" or "boring". Now, I consider a boring day, a GOOD day! It's nice to remind myself of that when I've spent yet another Saturday organizing our lives to get through the next week. I still can't believe I'M the mother...you'd think at 50, I would think of myself as an adult, and I do, but maybe an adult in the 30-something range! I'm grateful for my funny little puppy that always makes me laugh...especially his yodel! I'm grateful for Saturdays, and the chance to be at home. I love my new Royal Elastics red and white shoes...they are so cute! To be continued....

Please post what has happened to your dog...I am so sorry you are going through this, and will pray that your dogbaby is going to be okay. Cindy

People say it is good to get back to your routine. I think that is true, because life is for the living and life does go on. One of the saddest parts of my day is my drive to work. I have a long commute, 40 miles, which takes close to an hour. Each morning on my way to work, I would call my mom...she was always up early, and it was our time to visit. She lived between my town and the town where I work...so we lived close to each other, too. She knew all my friends, all the people I work with (and the ones I used to work with but don't now). She knew everything about my DD, because she took care of her from infancy until she started kindergarten. There was not one topic I could talk about that she didn't know all the details, and we could hash over everything. Now, I'm not saying we agreed on everything; we didn't. Over the years, I made some "right turns" and found myself squarely in the conservative mindset, while my mom became, if anything, more liberal. We clashed on political topics to the point I refused to discuss them with her, especially after the 2004 elections. We agreed to disagree on that. There is not one single morning that I don't physically ache to talk to her. My dad, kind man that he is, calls me every morning while I am driving...and I know he does it because mom and I used to. I enjoy our talks, too, but it's not the same, of course. Not many people know how hard it is, just to get to work each day. I wonder how many people notice the tears...I suppose most people are so busy thinking about their own stuff, there's no way anyone would see and wonder what is causing that lady to be so sad. Funny, sometimes I look at the other drivers and wonder what's on their minds? Are they missing someone, too? Are they worried about a sick family member? I guess that's kind of weird; but I know this: until you have experienced it, there is no way you will ever, ever understand what losing a parent actually means in the way of sadness. I know I can never be nice and helpful enough to any friend who loses a parent in the future. I am grateful for a dear friend I work with who has been there for me without fail, and knows how hard my morning drive is. I am grateful for this journal space. I am grateful for my compassionate DH, who has the patience of Job. Until tomorrow...

People say it is good to get back to your routine. I think that is true, because life is for the living and life does go on. One of the saddest parts of my day is my drive to work. I have a long commute, 40 miles, which takes close to an hour. Each morning on my way to work, I would call my mom...she was always up early, and it was our time to visit. She lived between my town and the town where I work...so we lived close to each other, too. She knew all my friends, all the people I work with (and the ones I used to work with but don't now). She knew everything about my DD, because she took care of her from infancy until she started kindergarten. There was not one topic I could talk about that she didn't know all the details, and we could hash over everything. Now, I'm not saying we agreed on everything; we didn't. Over the years, I made some "right turns" and found myself squarely in the conservative mindset, while my mom became, if anything, more liberal. We clashed on political topics to the point I refused to discuss them with her, especially after the 2004 elections. We agreed to disagree on that. There is not one single morning that I don't physically ache to talk to her. My dad, kind man that he is, calls me every morning while I am driving...and I know he does it because mom and I used to. I enjoy our talks, too, but it's not the same, of course. Not many people know how hard it is, just to get to work each day. I wonder how many people notice the tears...I suppose most people are so busy thinking about their own stuff, there's no way anyone would see and wonder what is causing that lady to be so sad. Funny, sometimes I look at the other drivers and wonder what's on their minds? Are they missing someone, too? Are they worried about a sick family member? I guess that's kind of weird; but I know this: until you have experienced it, there is no way you will ever, ever understand what losing a parent actually means in the way of sadness. I know I can never be nice and helpful enough to any friend who loses a parent in the future. I am grateful for a dear friend I work with who has been there for me without fail, and knows how hard my morning drive is. I am grateful for this journal space. I am grateful for my compassionate DH, who has the patience of Job. Until tomorrow...