1/23/06

Let's talk about weight and perception of weight. Very few subjects cause as many intense reactions as a discussion of weight....unless you want to mention religion and politics, which I don't (right now, anyway!). I remember doing exercises with my mom when I was probably 10 or so...by the time I was in jr. high, we were trying all kinds of crazy diets. Remember the one where one day you ate only bananas, the next day was eggs, the next day grapefruit...I think there were 10 days of that. How about the cabbage soup diet? Check! Hypnosis? Check! A tablespoon of vinegar before every meal? Check! The original Atkins diet, complete with ketosis strips you tested your pee with? Check! Aerobics? Check. Step classes? Check. Weight lifting? Check. Weight dares and competitions, with cash prizes? Check. You know what I'm talking about. When I was a young adult, I found out about those doctors - the ones who would talk to you for a few minutes, then write you a prescription; mine was for Tenuate. All you had to do to get more was lose some weight each month. That wasn't a problem! And, I had a really clean apartment! This drug brought about one of the greatest sustained weight losses ever...I actually wore a size 10. You can't stay on diet pills forever, so that had to end, and the weight came right back. It took a while, but I gained it all, and another 80. Sure, I intervened from time to time, and the term "yo-yo dieting" was my lifestyle. For those of us of a certain age, Twiggy had a profound effect on our self-concepts. I look at pictures from high school, and I see a perfectly healthy, vibrant 17 year old. I remember thinking I was fat, even then, at 5'7" and 135. I mean, embarrassed about it kind of fat. Can it be true that thinking something actually does make it true? I wonder if my fellow bandsters have had similar thoughts, at least the ones who were a normal weight as teenagers and gained weight during adulthood? If one's perceptions are that powerful, that they can actually create reality, then I think I'm going to try an idea someone on the LBT boards wrote about...I'm telling myself that I'm losing weight, and that I weigh about 10 lbs less than I actually do...and create the reality I desire. My brain is so full of negative self-talk, I figure it can't hurt to use a little positive self-talk to win the battle.

I'm grateful for being able to work with kids who have hard situations, and help them make a success out of their lives. It's so great to do something you love!

I'm grateful that today has brought a break in the clouds for me, emotionally.

I'm grateful for my home, which is safe and full of love, if also quite a bit messy.

To be continued...