Think Sleeve...Be Sleeve

Thank you for sharing it makes a difference!

Last night I lost my it cause I am scared. I have moments where I am ready to do it and the next I am having a full panic attack. The more I think about it comes down to giving up my relationship with food. Food has been my main love my whole life. I eat for comfort, I eat when I am stress, I eat when I am stress...I just love eating. Once that is done I hate myself for eating and for not being able to "control" my eating. I have not told many people I am considering this surgery because the few people I have told look at me like I am Dr. Frankenstein. I have had several people ask me why I was considering such an extreme measure. I feel like I just walked into work naked! I think I do a good enough job of beating myself up over my weight I don't need anyone's help. I dream of looking at myself a year from now and being at my goal weight of 115. It is not about the weight it is about being healthy and taking control of my life and health, the weight loss is the added bonus. Why then can't i just jump in and go for it?

I wish I was on the other side. I am so nervous about the whole thing and afraid I will not take the next step.

I have moments of true clarity, where I am ready to move forward I have total faith in my next step, and in the decision I have made. Then once I come to terms with my life change I panic and start questioning everything. I am letting the fear blind my eye, I am thinking with the fear in my heart, letting the what ifs take me down. My yoga teach says you need to step into the unknown, take the leap and jump. I get right to the edge of acceptance and take a step back and then I move that to the edge. I honor the part in me that is working thought the process. I want to enter this life change with an open heart exposed so I can morn the life I had and move into the life I will have. My journey hours the journey in all of you. Namaste the light inside me hours the light inside you. Joy