melissa130

Seriously??? Did that happen to ME?? Three co-workers called me skinny yesterday. I have NEVER, and I mean NEVER, EVER, EVER been called skinny in my entire life. I am still trying to process the new me. It has taken some adjustments, especially trying to shop for clothes. I don't know what size to buy anymore---I find myself gravitating naturally toward the plus sizes. I still feel like and see myself as the fat girl, and it shocks the heck out of me to see a picture of myself. This is so bizarre, but totally bizarre in a wonderful, surreal way. I decided to have the sleeve for better health, and before the surgery, being thinner was not the biggest motivation for me. I have never been thin, and I had no plans or big ideas about what I would look like after losing weight; I just wanted to be healthy. I thought I was so prepared emotionally and mentally, but I just can't comprehend this new person I see in the mirror. I am very grateful that the weight is coming off, and having met my goal of being healthy has been great. But, I don't know how to deal with all of the attention I am getting. Part of me, of course, likes to hear the compliments. But, a great part of me is kind of embarrassed, shy, and feeling a bit overwhelmed with the questions: how are you doing this, give me some pointers, show me what you are doing, etc. Until I saw a recent picture of myself and compared it to my before picture, I just didn't realize the change in my body---I look in the mirror every day, so I don't see the changes as much. I have not shared how I am losing weight with a lot of people, so the questions of how I am losing weight is a bit difficult for me to answer. My standard answer on how I am losing weight is HARD WORK! I sometimes feel deceitful when people ask me how I am losing weight, but hard work it is!! I tell them I am on a high protein, low carb diet, and that I exercise at least 4 times a week. And that is the absolute truth! Does anyone else feel bad for not sharing the whole story when people ask you how you are losing weight?

I am 9 weeks post -op and I am really starting to get excited. I am allowed more food than I am eating right now-- but the scale keeps moving down so I am going to stick with what I am doing. At Christmas I weighed 284. Just before my surgery (January 14, 2013) I weighed 264. I wish I had measurements but I never took them. Today I weigh 210. So since surgery I have lost 54 pounds. FEELS AWESOME. Can't wait to see how it feels to lose the next 54.
 
I have not shopped yet for any new clothes and I think it is time. Everything is really baggy. I was trying to wait for the god forsaken weather to get warmer. I do not really want to buy winter clothes because by next winter I will be even smaller. And for the first time in my adult life- it will be soo fun to buy spring and summer clothes -- I hope.

I am 9 weeks post -op and I am really starting to get excited. I am allowed more food than I am eating right now-- but the scale keeps moving down so I am going to stick with what I am doing. At Christmas I weighed 284. Just before my surgery (January 14, 2013) I weighed 264. I wish I had measurements but I never took them. Today I weigh 210. So since surgery I have lost 54 pounds. FEELS AWESOME. Can't wait to see how it feels to lose the next 54.
 
I have not shopped yet for any new clothes and I think it is time. Everything is really baggy. I was trying to wait for the god forsaken weather to get warmer. I do not really want to buy winter clothes because by next winter I will be even smaller. And for the first time in my adult life- it will be soo fun to buy spring and summer clothes -- I hope.

I am 9 weeks post -op and I am really starting to get excited. I am allowed more food than I am eating right now-- but the scale keeps moving down so I am going to stick with what I am doing. At Christmas I weighed 284. Just before my surgery (January 14, 2013) I weighed 264. I wish I had measurements but I never took them. Today I weigh 210. So since surgery I have lost 54 pounds. FEELS AWESOME. Can't wait to see how it feels to lose the next 54.
 
I have not shopped yet for any new clothes and I think it is time. Everything is really baggy. I was trying to wait for the god forsaken weather to get warmer. I do not really want to buy winter clothes because by next winter I will be even smaller. And for the first time in my adult life- it will be soo fun to buy spring and summer clothes -- I hope.

I can not believe how fast time is moving!!!! Just two months shy of a year! 107 lbs down and happy with it. I am able to eat more and that's a little scary!! I make sure I eat my protein first. Lunch is usually a grilled chicken breast with lettuce, grapes, and strawberries. I still measure my food because I worry about over eating.
 
My work load is kinda heavy at this time, so I am lucky if I go the gym once a week I feel so guilty about that! That's why I stay on top of my food intake. On a typical day I usually intake: 2 Isopure protein shakes( 100 gr protein), 64 oz of water, two eggs in the morning, grilled chicken for lunch, Atkins bar for snack, and Chili for supper.
 
I should confess now :Last week I ate three Oreo cookies, and last Friday I ate a bag of M&Ms!!! LORD HELP ME!! I hope this is not going to become a habit because I refuse to undo all my hard work!
 
HIGHEST WEIGHT: 348 LBS
TODAY'S WEIGHT: 241 LBS :wub:

When I went through my pre-op diet I was hungry, irritated, and seriously reconsidering what I was about to do. I decided that if I could not get through what my surgeon wanted me to do before the surgery - exactly- that I was not mentally ready for weight loss surgery. I did it. I never strayed from the guidelines and I lost 12 pounds and felt really good about it the night before my surgery.
 
I know so many people personally that "try to beat the system". They figure out what they can get away with eating. Then they are stunned when the scale stalls or shows pounds gained. This surgery does not control what is brought to your mouth. For only a short time will it control how much of that food goes to your new stomach. This surgery is a great tool to give me a chance to break the cycles of bad habits. I haven't had fast food (pizza, McDonalds, Subway............) since January 6, 2013. Of course I miss it. But I will never give them a dime of my money again. I feel betrayed actually. All the money I have wasted on that garbage food- and in return I get 100 plus pounds of excess weight to carry.
 
I am not going to try to see what I can get away with. I am serious about getting healthy. So the only foods I eat will be what the bariatric surgeon says I can. High protein/ low fat and low carbs.
 
Mentally I have created an atmosphere for success. I go to support groups once a month for weight loss surgery. And I go to overeaters anonymous and I have a behavior therapist to visit 2x month. Matters of weight take place in the mind and this surgery does not take place in your head.

Visiting the psychiatrist was on of my pre-requs for getting Sleeve surgery. I was pretty nervous about the interview. Who wouldn't be? Knowing that the whole approval process could come to a screeching halt based on the opinion of one guy who only spends 15 - 20 minutes with me.
 
From talking to a fellow sleever, I knew that there was going to be a 500 question multiple choice questionnaire. I could tell right off that it was a personality test. The questions covered the whole gambit - from how did you feel about childhood, how do you feel about being an adult, do you have depressed thoughts, have you ever stolen anything, how do you feel about being in crowded situations ... ect.
 
The kicker is that each type of question is repeated 4 or more times throughout the questionnaire - only it's asked in a different way each time. I can only assume the point is to see if you answer the same way each time - to get your true feelings.
 
It took over an hour to complete everything.
 
The most annoying part was - THERE WERE NO TABLES!
 
Maybe it is part of the test to see how you react, but have you ever tried to hold a clipboard and mark answers with one hand and hold a list of test questions in the other????????????
 
Now this wasn't their first rodeo. They do these tests for $400 a pop. You'd think they would be a little more considerate.
 
I felt like I was Will Smith in the 1st "Men in Black." The part where all the candidates were sitting in the egg chairs trying to take a test. And Will is the only one smart or brave enough to pull the table over to his chair.
 
So I pulled the same thing. I spun one of the other chairs sideways and used the arm to hold the clip board. The other 2 poor schmucks in the room doggedly mustered on, trying to finish their questions the hard way.

When I went through my pre-op diet I was hungry, irritated, and seriously reconsidering what I was about to do. I decided that if I could not get through what my surgeon wanted me to do before the surgery - exactly- that I was not mentally ready for weight loss surgery. I did it. I never strayed from the guidelines and I lost 12 pounds and felt really good about it the night before my surgery.
 
I know so many people personally that "try to beat the system". They figure out what they can get away with eating. Then they are stunned when the scale stalls or shows pounds gained. This surgery does not control what is brought to your mouth. For only a short time will it control how much of that food goes to your new stomach. This surgery is a great tool to give me a chance to break the cycles of bad habits. I haven't had fast food (pizza, McDonalds, Subway............) since January 6, 2013. Of course I miss it. But I will never give them a dime of my money again. I feel betrayed actually. All the money I have wasted on that garbage food- and in return I get 100 plus pounds of excess weight to carry.
 
I am not going to try to see what I can get away with. I am serious about getting healthy. So the only foods I eat will be what the bariatric surgeon says I can. High protein/ low fat and low carbs.
 
Mentally I have created an atmosphere for success. I go to support groups once a month for weight loss surgery. And I go to overeaters anonymous and I have a behavior therapist to visit 2x month. Matters of weight take place in the mind and this surgery does not take place in your head.

When I went through my pre-op diet I was hungry, irritated, and seriously reconsidering what I was about to do. I decided that if I could not get through what my surgeon wanted me to do before the surgery - exactly- that I was not mentally ready for weight loss surgery. I did it. I never strayed from the guidelines and I lost 12 pounds and felt really good about it the night before my surgery.
 
I know so many people personally that "try to beat the system". They figure out what they can get away with eating. Then they are stunned when the scale stalls or shows pounds gained. This surgery does not control what is brought to your mouth. For only a short time will it control how much of that food goes to your new stomach. This surgery is a great tool to give me a chance to break the cycles of bad habits. I haven't had fast food (pizza, McDonalds, Subway............) since January 6, 2013. Of course I miss it. But I will never give them a dime of my money again. I feel betrayed actually. All the money I have wasted on that garbage food- and in return I get 100 plus pounds of excess weight to carry.
 
I am not going to try to see what I can get away with. I am serious about getting healthy. So the only foods I eat will be what the bariatric surgeon says I can. High protein/ low fat and low carbs.
 
Mentally I have created an atmosphere for success. I go to support groups once a month for weight loss surgery. And I go to overeaters anonymous and I have a behavior therapist to visit 2x month. Matters of weight take place in the mind and this surgery does not take place in your head.

When I went through my pre-op diet I was hungry, irritated, and seriously reconsidering what I was about to do. I decided that if I could not get through what my surgeon wanted me to do before the surgery - exactly- that I was not mentally ready for weight loss surgery. I did it. I never strayed from the guidelines and I lost 12 pounds and felt really good about it the night before my surgery.
 
I know so many people personally that "try to beat the system". They figure out what they can get away with eating. Then they are stunned when the scale stalls or shows pounds gained. This surgery does not control what is brought to your mouth. For only a short time will it control how much of that food goes to your new stomach. This surgery is a great tool to give me a chance to break the cycles of bad habits. I haven't had fast food (pizza, McDonalds, Subway............) since January 6, 2013. Of course I miss it. But I will never give them a dime of my money again. I feel betrayed actually. All the money I have wasted on that garbage food- and in return I get 100 plus pounds of excess weight to carry.
 
I am not going to try to see what I can get away with. I am serious about getting healthy. So the only foods I eat will be what the bariatric surgeon says I can. High protein/ low fat and low carbs.
 
Mentally I have created an atmosphere for success. I go to support groups once a month for weight loss surgery. And I go to overeaters anonymous and I have a behavior therapist to visit 2x month. Matters of weight take place in the mind and this surgery does not take place in your head.

When I went through my pre-op diet I was hungry, irritated, and seriously reconsidering what I was about to do. I decided that if I could not get through what my surgeon wanted me to do before the surgery - exactly- that I was not mentally ready for weight loss surgery. I did it. I never strayed from the guidelines and I lost 12 pounds and felt really good about it the night before my surgery.
 
I know so many people personally that "try to beat the system". They figure out what they can get away with eating. Then they are stunned when the scale stalls or shows pounds gained. This surgery does not control what is brought to your mouth. For only a short time will it control how much of that food goes to your new stomach. This surgery is a great tool to give me a chance to break the cycles of bad habits. I haven't had fast food (pizza, McDonalds, Subway............) since January 6, 2013. Of course I miss it. But I will never give them a dime of my money again. I feel betrayed actually. All the money I have wasted on that garbage food- and in return I get 100 plus pounds of excess weight to carry.
 
I am not going to try to see what I can get away with. I am serious about getting healthy. So the only foods I eat will be what the bariatric surgeon says I can. High protein/ low fat and low carbs.
 
Mentally I have created an atmosphere for success. I go to support groups once a month for weight loss surgery. And I go to overeaters anonymous and I have a behavior therapist to visit 2x month. Matters of weight take place in the mind and this surgery does not take place in your head.

When I went through my pre-op diet I was hungry, irritated, and seriously reconsidering what I was about to do. I decided that if I could not get through what my surgeon wanted me to do before the surgery - exactly- that I was not mentally ready for weight loss surgery. I did it. I never strayed from the guidelines and I lost 12 pounds and felt really good about it the night before my surgery.
 
I know so many people personally that "try to beat the system". They figure out what they can get away with eating. Then they are stunned when the scale stalls or shows pounds gained. This surgery does not control what is brought to your mouth. For only a short time will it control how much of that food goes to your new stomach. This surgery is a great tool to give me a chance to break the cycles of bad habits. I haven't had fast food (pizza, McDonalds, Subway............) since January 6, 2013. Of course I miss it. But I will never give them a dime of my money again. I feel betrayed actually. All the money I have wasted on that garbage food- and in return I get 100 plus pounds of excess weight to carry.
 
I am not going to try to see what I can get away with. I am serious about getting healthy. So the only foods I eat will be what the bariatric surgeon says I can. High protein/ low fat and low carbs.
 
Mentally I have created an atmosphere for success. I go to support groups once a month for weight loss surgery. And I go to overeaters anonymous and I have a behavior therapist to visit 2x month. Matters of weight take place in the mind and this surgery does not take place in your head.

When I went through my pre-op diet I was hungry, irritated, and seriously reconsidering what I was about to do. I decided that if I could not get through what my surgeon wanted me to do before the surgery - exactly- that I was not mentally ready for weight loss surgery. I did it. I never strayed from the guidelines and I lost 12 pounds and felt really good about it the night before my surgery.
 
I know so many people personally that "try to beat the system". They figure out what they can get away with eating. Then they are stunned when the scale stalls or shows pounds gained. This surgery does not control what is brought to your mouth. For only a short time will it control how much of that food goes to your new stomach. This surgery is a great tool to give me a chance to break the cycles of bad habits. I haven't had fast food (pizza, McDonalds, Subway............) since January 6, 2013. Of course I miss it. But I will never give them a dime of my money again. I feel betrayed actually. All the money I have wasted on that garbage food- and in return I get 100 plus pounds of excess weight to carry.
 
I am not going to try to see what I can get away with. I am serious about getting healthy. So the only foods I eat will be what the bariatric surgeon says I can. High protein/ low fat and low carbs.
 
Mentally I have created an atmosphere for success. I go to support groups once a month for weight loss surgery. And I go to overeaters anonymous and I have a behavior therapist to visit 2x month. Matters of weight take place in the mind and this surgery does not take place in your head.

Wow - I am so tired of being invisible to people.SERIOUSLY. I weigh 230 pounds. Too big to be missed. Today a man held the door open for the thin lady walking just in front of me into a convenient store. (They were not together.) Then he lets the door go right as I am about to pass through. He looked me right in the eye. Are you kidding me? I became so irate. It was a definite -want to eat a pizza trigger!!!!!!! (I didn't.) This scenario has happened hundreds of times to me over the past 15 years. How rude. This is just one example of how ignorant people can be. At gatherings - I could be the biggest girl in the room - but nobody can see me. Ironic. It is like if they look at me - they may catch the fat disease. And then - there is the line -you have a beautiful face. Oh my god- how about a simple "You are beautiful".
 
Sorry everybody - just needed to vent to people that would understand.
 
I am so happy I had this surgery. I will train my little boys - that every woman deserves to have a door held open for them. And that men and women deserve to be seen - no matter where they are or how big they are.

Well finally I have arrived at a date that I had to fight for. After one and a half years - I had my vertical sleeve surgery and am now 1 week post-op. At first, I took several months gathering my information so I could make my best informed decision. And then had to appeal my insurance company's original decision to deny coverage for me. Went through all the pre-op process and testing - and now I am on my way!!!!
 
I have 1 more week to go through for the liquid diet phase. I really do not mind it right now. I certainly am missing food. However, this surgery will give me the opportunity to break all my bad habits. In the process, I will be able to truly determine what all my triggers are and change all of my daily habits with food.
 
Looking forward to lots of blogging as I run through this next year---to my best life ever.

I sure am feeling pretty good about things so far. I have lost 35 pounds since my surgery. I follow my surgeon's dietary guidelines to the letter and make sure I get 64 oz of H20. Way harder getting that water in than I thought it would be.
 
Mental state of mind will be the key. We have all heard that a million times. So far- my biggest struggle is making meals for our 2 little kids and my husband. The smell of any food cooking simply makes me want to eat. Now I have started to ensure that before I do start meal prep- I eat yogurt or oatmeal. That way I am not starving. I have one more week on pureed foods. Week 5 I move up to soft foods.
 
A huge benefit for the whole family now is nobody gets fast food. I have realized that at least 3 to 4 times per week - I was buying fast food for the family. Whether it was breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Not good. But the changes are in motion. And this "little" family will be so much healthier.

I sure am feeling pretty good about things so far. I have lost 35 pounds since my surgery. I follow my surgeon's dietary guidelines to the letter and make sure I get 64 oz of H20. Way harder getting that water in than I thought it would be.
 
Mental state of mind will be the key. We have all heard that a million times. So far- my biggest struggle is making meals for our 2 little kids and my husband. The smell of any food cooking simply makes me want to eat. Now I have started to ensure that before I do start meal prep- I eat yogurt or oatmeal. That way I am not starving. I have one more week on pureed foods. Week 5 I move up to soft foods.
 
A huge benefit for the whole family now is nobody gets fast food. I have realized that at least 3 to 4 times per week - I was buying fast food for the family. Whether it was breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Not good. But the changes are in motion. And this "little" family will be so much healthier.

I have done the steps, accepted that I am over weight, took the steps to see the doctor, asked some questions, had the blood test and went to the seminar. I am now in the process of seeing the cardiologist, pulmonologist, dietician, and therapist. I have to wait a month to see them, but I am willing to wait and do what I need to personally to get myself prepared for what is to come. I was also given a tentative month for surgery and it looks like April it is. So many emotions each day seem to catch me by surprise.
 
Today I felt blue because I don't have many to turn to about my process. My husband is hard to talk to about it because he likes me just the way I am. He knows that I am depressed about it, and agrees with me to do something to make myself feel better, but sometimes I feel that is not enough. We have kept the news of my decision to go through this on the down low becuase I am still embarresed for the things I have to do to get what I want. The hospital that I am going through has a group that meets this Monday and I think I am going to check it out. I hope this helps with the blues that I get from time to time. Maybe even connect with someone and build friendships. I do know that God is on my side and going to take it one day at a time!