Strangefruit

I do. Constantly. I am 5 months out and 61.3 lbs down... When I Iron clothes, they look too small for me...I am still surprised when I put clothes on and they fit... I don't FEEL significantly smaller, yet when I stand next to people I used to consider "normal", I look the same. Weird. But my bigggest fear is re-fatting. I exercise EVERYDAY because I am afraid not to. Some friends work out 3x or 5x a week...I am afraid to give myself a day off, because I am terrified I will re-fat. How do I get past this feeling? Or, maybe is this a good feeling to have because I won't take weight loss for granted? I don't know... I know that I have a really hard time buying new clothes and getting rid of too big clothes because of my fear of re-fatting. Everyone says to get rid of old baggy clothes because you will not need them... but everytime I have done that in the past, I have needed them..and didn't have them...because I re-fatted. *sigh*

I will admit - there are TIMES when I regret this surgery. I had the surgery in Oct 2012, and am down a smidge over 61 lbs...I look better, I feel better, BUT...there are times when I still miss/mourn my old relationship with food. I had a love/hate relationship with food for over 40 years! We would fight, break up, get back together again and I have to admit - there are times when I miss being able to go back to food again. I can't. Ever. If I eat ONE BITE too much, I get sick... there are some foods that are permanently off limits for me... I don't miss them all the time, but occaisionally, I do. My taste buds changed...there are some foods I just don't like anymore... Today? Today I would totally do it again... but I would be lying if I said that I NEVER regretted the surgery. It is hard...the behavior modification is very strict... the old me, if I "fell of the wagon" and had a dinner of margaritas and nachos, I had to deal with my guilt and disappointment in myself. Now, I will get PHYSICALLY sick. I guess that is what it took for me to remain compliant. But it is hard.

Never heard of it, but I am going to search for it...sounds great!

I used to be a big coffee drinker... Had to have my minimum in the morning to start my day... It doesn't make me sick, but I no longer care for the taste. I have taken to having a cup of English Breakfast Tea every morning... I was never a big fan of beef, but now the smell turns my stomach. And ALL of the protein shakes I had pre surgery are sickeningly sweet now... Weird.

#1 - Your wedding pic is beautiful! #2 - This is going to be YOUR journey. You cannot DO or NOT DO this for anyone but you. It *will* be hard... but you can do it! ~hug~

Welcome, Dee! I loved reading your post... I am post surgery - Oct 22, and it has been hard - ups and downs...but overall, I am glad I did it. I *did* have some co-morbidities - HBP, sleep apnea, and like you, have two kids that I want to live long enough to enjoy my life... I hope that if you decide to do this, it works for you. It *does* work... but it is also very hard. If I had it to do all over again - I wouldn't do it... BUT I am glad I did it. Does that make sense? Like, I could not repeat the whole surgery thing and recovery, but now that I am on the other side of it, I am glad with it. If you do this, prepare yourself for your relationship with food to change. By this I mean there are times when I actually MOURN my relationship with food. People say, "But you are losing weight!" Yes, but understand that your entire relationship with food will change...and if you are someone just a little like me - where food was a BIG part of your life, you will miss some things. But it is worth it to be healthy... but it is hard. I'm gonna stop - I don't want to scare you... it is a wonderful thing to do... but also, very hard.

Completely! Some days I almost "forget" I was sleeved and seem totally normal...Other days, EVERYTHING - even tried and true foods disagree with me. Those are the days I get depressed and moody. "I can't even eat an egg! I hate this stupid sleeve!"

Mine was ketosis...living on protein shakes for 5 weeks, my tongue was white and my breath was stinky. Once I got to real food, it went away.

I am very interested in what kind of f/b you get... I am 3 months out and down 54lbs.. my weight loss and caloric intake seems to be very similar to yours... and I do 45 min. daily on the treadmill... The only thing that helps is that I have had VERY LITTLE loose skin, so I am thinking/hoping/rationalizing that folks that lose slowly like us, give the skin time to snap back... I also use the Lose It app and track daily, faithfully... My loss seems to be about 1-2lbs per week... and considering I exercise daily and usually consume about 700 calories, I would think it faster as well...

I *thought* about saying I was having a hysterectomy (folks - esp. males - don't ask a lot of questions - but ended up just saying abdominal surgery and not telling more... I agree - it's not being secretive, it's privacy.

I am at 3 months out and have not lost any hair... But it might be just around the corner! Who knows!?

I wear surgical gloves to mix ground meat for burgers or meatloaf...

Post script - Tawny - your comments were spot on for me... I think because I am seeing the scale move sooooo slowly, I do get discouraged. And, I did not take pre surgery measurements - I don't know HOW I missed doing that - so I am not sure of the inches... But today, I went into a crate from my basement of clothes I wore about 4 years ago... I remember myself weighing much less than NOW...yet most of them were clothes that I (surprise!) could wear now... a few pairs of pants I could get ON, but were snug... so, I should be in them in a couple of months... Don't get me wrong - I am grateful for the surgery... but I would not be honest if I didn't say that there are times that I miss/mourn my past relationship with food.

Thank you!

recipe??

I am 52 and was ALWAYS hot! Now, I am always bundled up under a throw or sweater... I guess some of the 48lbs of fat padding was keeping me warm!

I think, Cheri that you hit the nail on the head... what I am "regretting" is really mourning my relationship (albeit) unhealthy - with food. I am 52, and for over 40 yrs have had a love / hate relationship with food... I have "broken up" with food, loved food, gone back to food, and what I am feeling now is the inability to resume that broken relationship. I have to look at food differently now - food as nutrition, not food as comfort, as love, as entertainment, as so many things... With the sleeve, even when I eat healthy food, I have to stop before *I* am ready...not when my stomach is sated... it is a hard thing to unlearn. My relationship with food is what I am mourning... I used food to reward myself for so long, I resent that when I really *want* something, I can't have it - even when I *think* I deserve it. Last week, my son texted me to please stop by Krispy Kreme and bring home some hot donuts... I did and got a dozen... I did not even eat ONE as I was afraid the greasiness and sugar would cause dumping syndrome (which I have never had, but like a root canal I know I don't want it)... And, I guess it bummed me out...that I couldn't even have ONE. I needed to read the responses...you guys *are* right...I am off my blood pressure medicine, I am exercising daily and feel better, the scale is moving slowly, but I am wearing clothes I haven't worn in over 2 years... I guess I just needed to "say" it aloud - that sometimes I am sad that I cannot order pub fries and a margarita anymore for dinner...

Good comments, all... I agree - I have lost weight before, but could never KEEP it off... I needed to hear that from people who "get it". )

I have been private about my surgery - meaning it is not in the company newsletter, but it is not a big secret either... A few people have asked me about what I am eating because they SEE what I bring for lunch - and I truthfully tell them that I am following an Adkins-like diet - high protein and low carbs... but no one has asked if I had surgery... If someone asked me point-blank, I would say yes, I had gastric sleeve surgery...

When I get to ONEderland, I am treating myself to a Fitbit.

Don't get me wrong - I was sleeved on Oct 22 and am overall pleased with my weight loss... But sometimes, I wonder... I was on liquid Protein for five weeks straight... anyone who is on Liquid Protein for five weeks straight would lose weight. I am now on a semi-Adkins like diet...No more than 30 grams of carbs and at least 60-75 grams of protein daily.. I average about 750-800 calories per day. Anyone who ate 800 calories a day would lose weight. I am on the treadmill EVERY morning for 45 min... again - anyone doing this would lose weight. I guess when I *do* have the issues - and I am extremely lucky - I have had very little complications - I just wonder if I could have done this same behavior modification without surgery and lost weight. Part of me says, without the surgery and my appetite being suppressed, I wouldn't have stuck with it. But another part of me wonders if I could have. If I could have done all of the above without permanently losing a big chunk of my anatomy and having to eat really really really slow or throw up or get indigestion... And, I feel like if I had done this without surgery, it would feel like more of an accomplishment. Don't get me wrong - this has still been really really hard... but I still feel like I had a leg up with the surgery. I don't know... am I the only one who feels like this sometimes?

After you announced your two week "vacation" rumors started that you were having gastric bypass? That's odd... out of all the reasons you could be out, why would everyone assume that? Have you shared any medical stuff with anyone at work? On the other hand, if you said that you DID have surgery, what would happen?

Well, Fiddleman - you da man! I'm tired just READING your workout routine! I thought I was doing ok doing 45 min. on the treadmill daily, but - geez! You rock!