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Wow! Yep, I agree - undoubtedly a success. Fantastic work! ~Cheri

Sometimes massage will break up a scar but I find it tough to massage my belly! Time will always help but I still have a few lumpy scars even though it's been more than a year. I have a nasty scar on my leg from an injury and right around three years out it faded away almost completely. I still have some lumpy tissue on one side but with massage (it's easier to massage an ankle than a belly) it's broken down quite a bit. I use some Vitamin e - not sure if it actually helps the scar but it makes massage easier. Good luck with this one. Maybe someone will have a good suggestion. ~Cheri

Holy smokes!! You've done so amazingly well! Congrats! Isn't it great to feel in control of your body? I say, go for it. Why stop here if you can do more and still be healthy? And yes, an even number for weight lost is a fun goal to shoot for. My goal weight has always annoyed me (107 pound down) because I like even numbers...weird, I know. I chose based on the BMI chart and picked the highest weight I could be for a normal BMI. You can do this. You've already accomplished so much. Have fun with it, though, and make sure to enjoy your success. ~Cheri

Congrats! Enjoy it - you've done a great job! Nothing beats clothes shopping now that we can actually wear the clothes and look nice in them, too! ~Cheri

I've bounced back and forth on carbs and like other posters have found that so long as I'm not going way overboard on the junk food it's not the cause for starts and stops. To me, low-carbing is having less than 50 grams a day. I usually end up somewhere between 75-100 a day. I've never been able to super restrict like some people and was never really feeling satisfied on 50 or less a day. This is what works for my body and I'm happy without feeling deprived. Everyone is right - do what your body needs. We were not all made the same and cannot all eat the same diet and expect the same results. If that was the case, none of us would have chosen surgery - we would have succeeded on Weight Watchers years ago! ~Cheri

It's hard to say what's going on in her head. Sometimes people are SO opposed to just the idea of weight loss surgery in general - like it's cheating or something. I'd keep working through this considering her your friend. Try to communicate openly and figure out WHY she feels the way she does. Maybe part of it is worry that she'll be left behind as you achieve your goals. Maybe she's always enjoyed the fact that you're both overweight together, but didn't realize that until you talked about surgery. Maybe shes's just really opposed to elective surgery in general, or knows someone that had a WLS and failed and doesn't want to worry about you. You won't know until you guys try to have a open and frank discussion. I agree - 19 years is a LONG time. It's a friendship worth trying to save. I hope that if you're open with your friend and can encourage her to be the same way with you then you can both move forward and support one another. Good luck, ~Cheri

It's almost impossible for the sleeve not to work. I mean, you'd have to try awfully hard eating absolutely terrible foods to actually GAIN with 85% of your stomach gone. Now, does that mean you'll reach goal? No. You have to do the head work to get the eating under control. Grazing isn't good behavior, but if you choose the sleeve and continue to graze I'd highly suggest you be doubly diligent about logging your food. You MUST log your food or it's easy not to realize how much you're eating and to live in total denial about your food choices. The VSG will remove 85% of your stomach and leave your entire brain behind. So any food addictions, overeating problems, coping mechanisms - any food issues you have are still going to be there. The sleeve is going to keep you from sucking down a Big Gulp slurpee in one shot. It's going to keep you from eating half a pizza. But it's not going to choose healthy food choices for you or make you stop bad habits. So you have to really evaluate what's going on when you eat before you can stop that. Yes, you can "abuse" the sleeve and not lose weight. I think it would be a real challenge. I'm no role model. I follow the rules about 60% of the time. I'm a SLOW loser as a result but I don't gain weight. So to me, imagining someone actually gaining back is bizarre. But yeah, you could easily eat such crap, even in small portions, that you won't lose. So if you think this will be an issue, I recommend some counseling or support group time before you opt for surgery again. I was in absolute denial about my overeating and my food behaviors until post op. It's been a struggle at times but I wouldn't trade my surgery for anything. I'm totally happy with my choice. Now, about your husband. Look, my husband was the exact same way before my sleeve. He liked me bigger, has never been attracted to skinny women, etc. Once I told him how I feel and why I want this surgery he was supportive. We've still had some tug-o-war over the fact that I'm now thinner than he prefers. But as long as I've given him the option to vent he's felt like I'm taking his opinion into consideration, too. I won't lie - your lack of success with the band is already going to be an issue. He didn't want you to lose weight and now he's watched you struggle post op. Convincing him to jump on board for another surgery will not be easy. I hope that you'll do what's best for you but also try to take his feelings into consideration. Sometimes if both partners aren't on the same page it can get ugly as the weight falls off. I don't say that to worry you. It's a very real thing. I recommend you search the forums here for more posts about this post op relationship stuff. But the general rule seems to be that if you're on the same page and doing well before the sleeve you do great post op. If you're not both on the same page it sometimes causes friction. Look. It is genuinely hard for our husbands to understand WHY we feel the need to lose weight. My husband took it as a sign that his love and acceptance of me just wasn't enough. Communicate and figure out where you both stand on this before charging ahead and you should be fine. Good luck. Do lots of research and scope out this board for a good long while before making a choice. I think I watched the boards for five months before even creating an account, and watched another seven months after that before having surgery. I wanted to see the real story about the sleeve and feel like I knew what to expect after surgery. It worked really well for me. ~Cheri

Congrats! It's a huge milestone and you deserve to enjoy it! ~Cheri

It's hard to adjust to, isn't it? I'm married but yes, now everyone that ignored my presence entirely a year ago is complimenting my husband on his wife and making jokes about how lucky he is. On one hand, it's insulting, isn't it? We're still *mostly* the same on the inside and emotionally, I think it takes us a long time to really fully understand that we're not the fat girls anymore. It's just patently wrong that people treat us totally differently, but I think most of them don't even realize they're doing it. Everyone is attracted to pretty things, and that goes doubly for pretty girls! Even women treat me differently. Part of it is them and I'm starting to realize that part of it is me. I'm no longer hiding myself, acting shy or grumpy and I'm far more pleasant and outgoing. This definitely changes the way people perceive me. Maybe you're having a similar experience? On the other hand, most men LOVE knowing that other guys want their gals. Seriously, it's like the highest compliment he can be paid about not only his ability to choose 'em, but his ability to keep them in the first place. Unless a guy has confidence issues this probably will seem far more uncomfortable to you than him. My husband loves the attention paid to me now and tells other men all the time how lucky he is - he chose me for me and has loved me every day that we've been together and he never would have wanted me to lose weight. To him, it's almost like a nod to his manliness that other guys find his wife attractive. He has zero insecurities about me leaving him, and if this new guy you're dating is confident and in a good place mentally without any baggage concerning other guys he'll probably feel similarly. No, don't warn people about this. And it sounds like your head is in a good place. Eventually you'll get more used to this behavior and learn how to gracefully respond. It will become less unnerving with time. In fact, enjoy it! Don't get all crazy, but try to take each silly neanderthal action as a tiny nod to your success. The fact that you're questioning their behavior and wondering how to deal with it is proof your head is in the right place and you're doing well. You're also doing great on your loss! Just wait 'till you get to goal - then you'll have to hire a bodyguard. :wink1: ~Cheri

We're stationed at the Embassy in Bishkek and recently attended the Marine Corps Ball. Days later, people are still coming up to me and complimenting me on my dress and how nice I looked! I know it might seem odd to consider this a success story but I've always avoided attending the military balls because I always feel like the fattest girl in the room or the unattractive wallflower. I never felt comfortable enough to dance and I always left as soon as we could possibly break away. This year I danced all night with my husband. I talked to everyone and had a great time. It was just an all around wonderful experience. My only issue was eating! They served about ten courses and it was hard to even try a taste of everything. So I consider this a success story. Not only did I lose enough weight to look and feel great in my gown, but I shed enough emotional baggage to feel confident and have fun. I just wanted to share! ~Cheri

First, EVERYONE is different. Especially men vs. women. So comparing to your husband is asking for frustration. That said, no, I wouldn't consider 30 pounds in a year a great success. I'm not trying to be harsh! It's awesome that you've lost 30 pounds but obviously you didn't remove most of your stomach for a smaller result. Yes, LOG YOUR food. Do it. If you don't you slip into denial about what you're really eating. Track everything - even a single jelly bean should go into your food log. If you don't do this, you have no idea how many calories, carbs, etc. you're eating. Get your metabolism tested if possible. If not, simply adjust your calories downward from 1200 until you start losing and hang there until you need to adjust again. I was told over and over again that my basal metabolic rate was close to 2000 calories and that on a 1200 calorie diet I'd lose two pounds a week. In reality, after testing we discovered that I have a highly efficient metabolism (curses!) and my BMR is actually less than 1400 calories a day. That means that on a 1200 calorie diet, I can reasonably expect to lose just over a pound a month. So, if you can get tested with the breathing test, DO IT. If not, just track calories for a few days and then fix what's wrong. Not everyone carb counts but I suggest that if you're not active you keep them on the lower side. There are dozens for free sites that allow you to track your food. So do it. Honestly. There is no better thing you can do to control you intake. I'm not an exerciser and firmly believe that while exercise is good for your body and can reshape it, that it doesn't always help us lose weight. But being more active is always a good thing so please try to work more activity into your daily routine. Even simple things like taking the stairs, parking farther away and enjoy a walk will help you feel better mentally and physically. If you want exercise to help you lose weight you have to really bring it - you can't fool around with a 20 minute walk every day and expect it to do much. If all else fails, do the pouch test. Reassure yourself that your sleeve is still working, break the bad cravings and jump on board. Only you can do this. You need to evaluate why you're not losing and what's going on in your head. If you "reset" and still can't lose, get a barium swallow to reassure yourself that your sleeve is still there and in good shape. But honestly, in almost all cases it comes down to us not doing the head work and having to accept that we need to change to lose weight. I've had to reset a number of times myself, so I understand this. Take care and I wish you the best! ~Cheri

I'm not your age but I was close to your starting weight. I always enjoyed seeing people around my starting stats and their progress. Maybe you'll feel the same. I'm almost 5'2" and started at 242 pounds. Now I'm 16.5 months out and down to 138 pounds. I have a reaction post op to both lactose (I'm highly intolerant now) and artificial sweeteners. What I would do is pull one of those from your diet for a few meals and see how you react. For me, it was immediately clear what was causing the problem. If you're having trouble even with things like Crystal Light, the issue is clearly the sweeteners. If you suspect it's lactose intolerance, try swapping out for soy milk or rice milk for a day and see how it goes. The big offenders with lactose intolerance are milk (even Lactaid, in my case), yogurt and cottage cheese. I didn't start to have a problem with soft cheeses until later on. Try cutting out some of those items to see how you feel. Sugary things still make me feel sick. I just can't eat them and don't enjoy them. I get a sick feeling if I overindulge so it's easy to avoid these things now. We all worry about being a failure, I think. I'm a slower loser than a lot of folks and there were times when I wondered if 60 pounds was all I would lose. It's very hard not succeed at this surgery. If you aren't trying your damnedest to suck down milkshakes and force down bacon double cheeseburgers, you're going to lose weight. Your stomach isn't going to make smart food choices for you, but it IS going to keep you from eating half a pizza, I promise. So this early in the game you should be focusing on first, figuring out the nausea so that you can improve your day to day life. Then, follow the rules. Expect to be human, expect to slip occasionally. But follow the rules 99% of the time and you're going to reach goal in no time. I'm a horrible role model. I follow the rules about 60% of the time but guess what? I'm going to reach goal in the next month...and in the long run does it really matter if it took me 17 months vs. 10 months? Nope. Enjoy it. Learn to live with this surgery and learn to love it, too. You're going to have to make changes but you'll do just fine if you're prepared for that. ~Cheri

You're making a great decision. There are a couple of folks here that used their bands to get started and finished up with the sleeve, and while a number of folks are anti-band (especially those that had awful experiences) you'll find there are a handful that had a decent enough experience but still love their sleeves. Do as much of the head work as you can beforehand. Ultimately, to be totally successful this is something all of us really need to do. It's an ongoing process, and you'll be in a totally different place in one year. I think that the more you do upfront in discovering why you do things the way you do the easier it is to maintain once the weight is gone. And a lot of us close to, at or beyond goal have to stop and evaluate what we're choosing to eat and why because it's absolutely true what they say - this operation is on our stomachs, not our brains. Whatever causes you to overeat or make poor choices is still going to be there when you're at goal, so know that and work at it and you'll be just fine. In a way you'll be relying on your sleeve for control but there's a big difference. It's going to remain pretty much the same once you heal - there's no unfill or fill, no good days or bad days. You heal, you eat and you learn your limits. Yeah, you can still choose to eat around your sleeve but I think you'll find it's not as easy as it sounds. Try as I might a binge is still two Cookies for me. Anything else and I'm going to be seriously ill. You'll be able to eat a bit more around one year out but I'm not seeing much more capacity at 16 months than I had at 10 or so. I'd go into this thinking of it not as a diet or deprivation but a life of moderation. I eat whatever I want...in small portions. And I'm careful to balance my indulgences with healthy eating. There are certain things I can't eat due to lactose intolerance, but I've found substitutes for most of those foods. And I'll be honest - while I sometimes miss eating until I could burst, eating and food in general do not have the power over me they used to have. It's just not the fun experience it used to be, so moderation is a lot easier, especially when I hold myself accountable by logging my food. I think that once you're sleeved and totally healed you'll see what I'm talking about. I'm just not hungry so I don't need to eat all the time and I don't live my life focused around pizza or dessert. You're going to do just fine. Keep that positive attitude and you can't help but succeed. I wouldn't trade my surgery for anything. ~Cheri

Glad you found something that works for you. I couldn't live without Protein shakes. I just don't get enough protein from my limited local food sources to make it without them. Stick with it and hang in there. Stalls are part of the program and this one will eventually end. I'm sure you'll be in onderland soon. ~Cheri

Most people can get their Protein all on their own around five or six months without the shakes. I've never really been that great at hitting my protein goals without a shake a day, and now I live in a remote location where I don't get much meat or cheese to eat. So right now, at sixteen months out I'm still having a shake a day, sometimes two if I'm tired of tuna or eggs (my main protein sources at the moment). The trick to the shakes is to keep mixing it up. By the time I'm done with the 3 pound tub, I'm burned out on a particular shake so I switch flavors. I also try to make them different each time - sometimes I add in some SF syrup, sometimes I mix with coffee or tea instead of soymilk, and sometimes I add in fruit or Peanut Butter. Don't force yourself to chug the same vanilla or chocolate shake day after day or you'll hate them. ~Cheri

I was going to say that if you're price shopping, Dr. Aceves isn't exactly the cheapest Mexican surgeon. He's just the best one! I could have chosen to have surgery anywhere in the world. I'm lucky enough to have great credit, and my bank was willing to grant me an unsecured loan up to $20K. I was living in Germany and couldn't find a doctor experienced enough with sleeves to do it there (where it would have cost a fortune in euros vs. dollars for self pay), or I would have had it done in Germany and saved myself the two days of travel back and forth. I chose Dr. Aceves after carefully researching three other stateside doctors, all of them good, all of them experienced and all of them good choices. But as someone self-paying and flying 11 hours to do this, I wanted the BEST care, with the longest possible hospital stay. Dr. Aceves fit the bill and I cannot complain at all. I urge everyone, regardless of where you're having surgery done, to DO YOUR RESEARCH. Do not assume that just because your doctor is American that he/she is automatically a great choice. Review statistics, look up as many reviews/recommends as you can. Do the leg work. This is your LIFE on the line if you choose an inexperienced doctor. And sometimes, sh*t happens and even an experienced doctor can have a leak and you can suffer complications. It's a hazard of choosing a serious surgery. So do your leg work and be prepared. Finally, I would like to comment on the notes about Dr. Rodriguez. While I do not discount that this person had legitimate reasons to be concerned, I'd say that when you choose to go to a hospital out of America you can't be upset if they're not 100% to American standards. This issue is on the patient for not researching adequately, though I do appreciate that she shared her experience for everyone else. Word of mouth is very important. If she had an allergy this could have been a fatal operation. I have had two operations and countless medical appointments outside of America and can honestly say that even top notch care in another country can seem outdated or not as safe to us because we're so incredibly used to American care. I was amazed to see old school glass bottles and plastic tubing were going to be my IV when I was in Kyiv for a procedure, but they broke out clean, sterilized tubing and a sterile needle without my mentioning anything so I felt comfortable. Sometimes you have to go with the flow, but above all, try to be prepared. ~Cheri

I was going to post that nobody had a stall from hell like thinoneday! Not to diminish your personal struggle, but whew - I haven't seen a worse stall yet! First things first when it comes to breaking a stall: LOG YOUR food. Do it. Religiously. Every day. Several times a day. DO IT. It is the most important thing you can do to keep yourself accountable. I stalled at right around the same weight for a few months and guess what? I wasn't tracking my food. And I was totally in denial about what I was eating. chips here, jelly Beans here, popcorn and soda there. No Protein. Carbs all day long. Ugh, forgive my rotten grammar, I'm starting to freak myself out! In any case, log your food. Set a reasonable post-op goal for yourself and stick to it. Lock that carb monster away again (it took me about three days to "detox" from the cravings) and jump back on the program. You can do this. I promise that if you sit down and try to eat four ounces of steak right now you're going to find that you have restriction. The sleeve has not failed you, it's still there! I've had to "reset" myself like this twice since surgery. I'm a slow loser to begin with (never as slow at thinoneday, poor thing) so it's always been easy to get discouraged and jump off the program. As soon as I got back on the weight melted off again. Okay...maybe that's an exaggeration. The first ten pounds or so always melt and then I go back to slow and steady. But a loss is a loss and in the long run it doesn't matter how long it takes to get to goal, just that we do our damnedest to get there. Do not give up. I challenge you to hold yourself accountable and make this sleeve work for you! We're all going through the same process and you aren't alone. Come back for support (or a smack upside the head if you're doing the wrong things!) and there will always be someone here to help you along. ~Cheri

How are you doing now? It's been more than a week since your post. Sometimes a few days will change your entire perspective. Right now you're in regret mode because of your complicated healing process. It will get easier. We ALL struggle with liquids in the beginning, you're definitely not alone there. Update and let us know how you're feeling, so we can help with advice or support. ~Cheri

Congrats! You worked really hard both pre- and post-op so it's not surprising you met goal so quickly. Great job! I know what you mean about being smaller than ever before, too. I couldn't remember the last time I was a small anything and it's completely mind boggling to realize that even without reaching my goal weight yet (I'm almost there!) that I've far exceeded all other goals I had set for myself. Enjoy this, lady! You look fantastic and will surely be an inspiration to people preparing for or considering surgery. ~Cheri

Holy smokes! The numbers are great on their own but you look fantastic, too! Enjoy it - I'm telling you these last few pounds have been SO slow in coming off but it's happening and that's all we can ask for, right? You'll get there soon enough and if you're anything like me those last few pounds make a huge difference. I swear, five pounds ago I was a size bigger and now I'm smaller all over. Unlike in the beginning where it took 20 pounds to see a difference, it only takes five or so now. Enjoy it, you've worked hard to get here! ~Cheri

Oh yeah. I had minor issues prior to surgery, especially when pregnant. I would stick to Lactaid and I'd be fine. Post op all milk is a no-no. I've said sad farewells to soft cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt, sour cream, etc. I can handle VERY small amounts of say, light cream in my coffee, or eat one cheese ravioli. Anything else makes me sick. I can eat hard cheeses but unfortunately cannot find vegetarian versions of them here in Bishkek so that does me no good! I drink a lactose free Protein shake and so long as I mix it with soy milk or coffee I'm fine. I think Tiffy had an issue, too. Basically find ways to work around it. It's hard but you can do it, especially stateside with lots of options like soy yogurt, coconut milk, coconut ice cream, Tofutti products! I have to make my own soy milk here (I actually like it better than the packaged stuff but it's not fortified) and my own tofu, but other than that I'm on a pretty limited diet out here in the wilderness. You are not alone! ~Cheri Edited to add: I can use goat milk in cooking, though, and I make a mean chevre from it, so try that if you're really hankering for cheese. Goat milk still has lactose but something about the amount of fat makes it easier to digest. I still have to stick to small portions to avoid issues but it's something!

Shanny, I'm glad that you and your gal reconciled. Sometimes we don't realize what the people around us are going through and I'm glad you guys were able to talk about this and share openly. My husband was incredibly frustrated and insecure and I had no idea until his little comments annoyed me to the point that I confronted him. He needed to talk about what was bothering him and have his say before he could be more comfortable. It's taking some time but he's slowly accepting that this is my body, even if he liked the old one, and that I'm not going to gain the weight back. It's amazing how the people we love can be so supportive in some ways but so scared and resentful in other ways. I hope you two will continue to talk and keep your feelings about this open so you can avoid problems later. I will encourage you to talk to a counselor about overeating. I am no professional but it sounds like you have classic overeater habits and use food for consolation and to numb painful emotions. Talk to someone, or at the least join an online forum with overeaters that use the same coping skills. A big part of having the surgery is to lose weight. It's to be all those things we weren't before - thinner, happier, healthier. But another thing this surgery gives us is the chance to work through all of the emotional garbage, bad coping skills and ugly life events that helped us get fat in the first place. You will be a much happier person overall if you work on these things, slowly but surely. I recently read a short book - a quick and easy read - called "Hungry" by Allen Zadoff. He's not pro-surgery at all, but it talks about the emotional attachments we have to food and how he dealt with them. You might like it if you pick it up at your local library. He doesn't prescribe a diet plan or a way to live your life, though. He just shares his experiences. I related to parts of the book and disagreed with others, but I think that overall there is something useful to be gained from this book if you try to eat past your emotions, something I'm guilty of, too. Best of luck to you guys. Really. Relationships take a lot of work and a lot of communication and if you guys just keep communicating the good and the bad I'm sure you'll be just fine. ~Cheri

I'm glad it's going easier for you. There are a number of lactose-free shakes out there to try if you continue to have issues or if they worsen post op. Some folks have their minor intolerance worsen considerably after surgery (me!) so it's definitely do-able. Yogurt should be okay as far as meeting your nutritional guidelines, but for some folks (me!) it's just as bad as milk. It depends on how bad your intolerance is so if you notice an issue lay off the yogurt and see what happens. At first, my only issue was milk. Over three months post op it developed into full blown intolerance of anything but hard cheeses. So watch it and pay attention to your body if you experience pain or discomfort in the months after surgery. I'd also check into artificial sweeteners as a large increase in your diet can cause the same discomfort. I have this issue, too, because prior to surgery I mostly avoided artificial sweetener and went for the real deal. My body just can't tolerate all that fake stuff and I get sick when I have too much - even drinking too much Crystal Light can give me trouble. Yuck. Anyway, I have to buy a Protein shake with natural sweetener and no lactose, but it definitely can be done! Best of luck to you, and keep up the good work with tracking your food. You're building one of the most important habits you can have post op, so don't worry too much if you don't lose weight before surgery. Focus on how much it's going to help you in the future. Most of the time when I stall it's due to a failure on my part to accurately track what I'm putting in my mouth. Stay accountable and you'll definitely succeed. ~Cheri

I was logging my weight this morning and realized that on 4 November of 2010 I weighed in at 193 pounds. Today I weighed in at 139 pounds, just four pounds from goal. WOW. What a difference flipping that 3 and 9 around made in the way I look and feel! I remember very clearly being absolutely thrilled last November that I could wear an XL shirt and size 14 jeans from a standard store - I didn't have to shop plus sizes anymore. A huge accomplishment and one I was very proud of. And yesterday I received six sweaters in the mail, all size small and a pair of jeans in a size six . I'd been fretting since I ordered them that they wouldn't fit because goodness knows that I've lost a lot of weight but actually considering myself a size small? That seemed plain crazy. They all fit, though. Even without my ultra-mega-suck-that-gut-flap-up shapewear, too. Life is truly wonderful and I am so incredibly thankful that I had this surgery and that I've made my slow but steady progress. Goal is going to be just as wonderfully rewarding 16 months out from surgery as it would have been at 10 months out. I cannot complain. ~Cheri

Congrats! It's a huge milestone and I just passed it myself so I remember how awesome it felt to realize I'd lost so much. You're doing a great job - enjoy it! ~Cheri