socklessinnyc

I know it's easier said as an outsider, but if that ends up being the case, good riddance to bad rubbish! That will give you an opportunity to meet someone who truly cares about you and your well being and wants you to be around and alive and healthy for years and years to come! Because it sounds like your husband misses an indulgent frat brother to sit at the buffet with. A wife, husband, or life partner or whatever you have is so much more than just someone to have dinner with. If that's the deal breaker for him.....go ahead and let the door hit him in his dumb ass on the way out!

Hi! June 6th sleever here. I'm down 71lbs and at goal. Family and friends say I'm too skinny but looking to lose five more pounds.

GamerGirl, you're so right about that one. After considerable academic research, discussions with some of the best in the business and which requires to be thrust in your rheumatologist's face immediately, is the undeniable fact that diets don't work. That everyone is pre-programmed to be a certain weight in our brains and all our yo-yo dieting has done, is to deplete our muscle mass and wreck our metabolisms. Does the weight come back after a few years post bariatric surgery? Yeah, it can do, I concede that. However, I believe we have the tool and it's up to us to use it. My Nutritionist said that I would lose 85% of my excess, gain about 20-30% and will level out. Even with those stats I was elated. I am NOT trying to look like Kate Moss here.
Febi, for what it's worth and in my humble opinion? If you don't want the negative, don't give them the ammo. I know you felt obliged to share it with your boss - but in all honesty and based on UK employment regs; unless you're taking significant amounts of time away and not correctly accounting for it, the specifics of your medical care, is not really their business. As for the other people you're intending to tell? You already know what they're going to be like, so is it worth it? I know some people might truly surprise you. However, you know these folks and I would say trust your instincts. If you know they're going to give you a hard time, is it worth wishing for them to be caring and sharing, when all they'll end up doing is making you feel like crap? Just a thought.
Wishing you the best of luck with everything to come. We'll all be here to listen when you need to get it off your chest. We're all pretty good at that! x

I saw my rheumatologist today who is very happy about the weight I lost. But he says he doesn't recommend the surgery to patients because he'd rather they do it on their own, since the results from bariatric surgery are not that great long-term.
Not that great? how about better than without the surgery??
This from a physician who should know better.
Then he says "ALL the surgery did for you was restrict your intake." I looked at his skinny body and thought of asking him how many people did he know that could eat 600-700 calories day after day with an intact stomach, and then thought .....
Meh. I don't care what he thinks. He has no idea what I live through. Whatever.
And so I moved on and stayed happy!
You may have to do the same thing.

IMO the husband / son should not allow anyone to mistreat you. The mother will either learn to treat you with respect or not have as much contact with son.. I am sure she would change over time.
It is hard for me to believe how many people out there tink they have the right to make others so unhappy.. Just makes me so mad.

My approach was similiar to aroundhky. I told the relevant people and others who asked that I was having surgery. I never once phrased it like it was up for discussion or input.
I was more than ready by the time I started the process so I guess my demeanor pretty much gave the impression that I didn't want to hear anything from nay-sayers.
It's human to want support. However, it is also human to have a willingness to survive. If your potential for survival would be increased by having this surgery, I sure wouldn't let anyone stop me from having it.
Many people assume this is a cop-out. However, the people I've met in my support group and on this board are some of the most health conscious people I've ever seen. This is the harder path for sure.
Do what's best for you and your family and ignore all the static noise from those who could never understand.

i personally think we are all in recovery, i cant imagine removing 85% of your stomach without having a serious food addiction.

I hate that people who treat others bad, still get allowances to treat others bad. You should certainly NOT feel guilty about not keeping in contact with abusive people. It makes me so angry that we women (usually it is us) are taught to "keep the peace, play nice, forgive" even the worst people.
Why would it would be so bad to cut them off? People treat us how they are allowed (by us) to treat us. As a child we unfortunately don't have any choice usually in the matter. However as a grown woman, I've cut toxic people out of my life and I sleep awesomely at night for it.
My Dad's family has some of the most negative people on the planet. Those that are toxic I don't have any association with (I figured this out as a young teenager). Sure I see them from time to time but on MY TERMS. I learned a long time ago that not everyone blood relation is family. I get to choose who I let in my life and I take that choice very seriously.
I hope your family member comes around, if not, do what you need to do to be healthy physically and mentally.
Ok stepping off my Women's Empowerment Soapbox.

My friend went through this her whole life with her Dad. So nope, not just a Jewish thing. Her Dad always gave her a hard way to go because she was the only one of her siblings to not ever be thin.
She is shaped EXACTLY like her Mom, who her Dad adores but he never saw that. I mean they could be twins really. He used the "no child of a military man should be overweight".
For YEARS she has been in therapy. She had the sleeve surgery this year and realized, no matter what, he would always have something to find to say unkind to her. So, she stopped engaging with him.
Sure she loves him and her Mom but she limits the time she spends around him. I watched her over the years go to much darker places because of him. Finally she decided it was enough and she is literally thriving.
OP, I really hope you can find your strength to just disengage. I think it would be so helpful for you overall.

Having ANY surgery is a leap of faith: have you ever really read the consent forms you sign in the US? It can scare the isht out of you. Since the consent forms in MX are in Spanish, I'm guessing that's why Dr. Aceves spent some time going over that. But is it really anything you don't already know going in?
I can totally respect an individual decision to not have the surgery. But please don't make it about this forum, particular posts, or the folks posting here. It's up to each of us to take responsibility for getting our needs met and living with our choices.

I'm the same. I can have crushed ice with no problem but liquids have to be room temp

Our day is almost here and I know you are as excited as I am. I thought it would take forever for JUNE 6th. I never thought I would make it through the 2 week pre-op diet and now I am all the way to the Clear Liquids. We have 2 days and then we will be in the hospital with a new journey ahead of us. A new LIFE. Maybe we can talk to each other about our pre-op, our surgery, things we have learned, things we are eating or drinking, and things we are worried about. We will be sleeve brothers and sisters for life!

I'm June 6th also. Surgery being done by Dr. Aceves.

June 6th here

June 6th here

Arts137, I agree by the time I decided to do the sleeve and go thru all the pre-op stuff -- I was done with my frenemy food. It had made me miserable and was slowly stealing my life away...Forget food funerals if I didn't have this surgery it would have been my funeral!

Well everyone is different! I'm going to present a different take on it. It ain't a food funeral. All your (well, mostly all) of your 'food friends' will be available to you much later, so what are you burying? I've kinda decided that the point here for me is to learn a new relationship with food, so that's what I'm Trying to do. My Optifast starts Sunday, but I've certainly been trying to focus on Proteins, and Meal Replacement shakes for the last two/three weeks. Also, this liquid "fast" is a lot longer than two weeks -- you have to count AFTER surgery too, right??? and that'll be a Lot longer...
Bottom line, I ain't so happy with my "friend" food right now. She's got me to a bad place. She's been a trickster and a deceiver. She makes me feel good in the short run only to bring me pain in the long term. I'm not so sure I want to take her back after she's done this to me...

My surgery date is June 6th. I'm excited but the closer we get to June, the more nervous I'm getting.

To my unsupportive, very soon to be ex husband: I now have 2 boyfriends, and the sex is glorious! Ha!

Yes I've had soda. It didn't cause any problems but it did make me feel very full for hours. It was like the bubbles just sat in there the rest of the day. Some people tolerate it very well though. My suggestion would be to just have a couple sips here and there, for no other reason than to avoid the full feeling that may keep you from eating real food.< /p>
Oh - and good for you having the very nerve to ask a question that our die-hard forum members will consider a "rule breaking" behavior:) Get ready for all the preaching that will most likely follow your question. Just go ahead and read it all while having a taste of your favorite carbonated beverage.

I also hate when people imply that we are somehow ashamed or embarrassed about surgery because we don't shout it out to the world or tell everyone who ask. I wonder how many people have considered the fact that they themselves might not be open to sharing other parts of their lives. For example: the number of people they've slept with, how much money they make, how much they spend shopping, how much debt, financial/marital issues, etc. You may be open about your surgery but do you feel comfortable sharing other aspects of your life that may be intrusive to your privacy? I am not ashamed of my surgery and it's been one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life but it's not my job to divulge every aspect of my life. I do not owe anyone an explanation and I highly doubt that anyone in life could ever claim to be "truthful" 100% of the time. If you want to tell everyone who ask, then do so but stop trying to shame others into doing things the way YOU would.

Are you a confrontational person? Are you able to stand up for yourself? I know a lot of us lack self confidence, and I've seen people gain it through losing the weight.
For your 2 'issues'... I'd say if Mom has something to say about your money, express to her that you work hard for your money and you can spend it how you please. You can express that you are sorry she is in the prediciment that she is in, but she had her entire life to make the choices which led her to where she is, and you WILL NOT take her path nor be responsible for the fact she didn't plan for her own financial future. Reminder that you have helped her, and if she has the attitude of "you owe me", then let her know she won't be receiving help any more is she feels like she has control over YOUR money. You do NOT owe her an explanation though.... And certainly don't tell her how much the surgery was. It's none of her business!
For your coworkers, if they said the first word to me I'd say "Shut it... my body, my decision, my life....go find someone else to give your opinion to, because I don't want it. And if it was a mistake in your eyes, it was mine to make, but guess what?! I don't share your opinion, so back off. You think I cheated? You try going through a major surgery, have 85% of your stomach removed, recover from that only to be able to eat a little amount of food when you want to eat more...this **** ain't easy."
Stand up for yourself! Don't let other people make your decisions, and don't be so afraid of what they think.
The questions are only... do you want this surgery? Do you want to be healthier? Are you willing to spend your hard earned money on it? That's it...No one else gets a vote!
So in answer to your question...No! It's only a fear if you let it be... so don't
Good luck to you! You are gonna rock all those people's socks off with your renewed confidence and healthier self when you get to your goal

Wow. Really? Wow.
I am utterly speechless (very rare, believe me).
Firstly, who do they think they are? What gives them the right to even SPEAK to the gentleman about this weight?
Secondly, that man is SETTING an example for his kids. He's shown them that the responsible thing to do is take control of your own health. He's showing them that as an adult, you must contribute to your own positive future and make informed adult decisions about how to adjust a lifestyle to increase your longevity, enjoyment and be less of a burden on society (with less future health-care drain, disability and dependency on your family and relatives due to poor health, etc.).
He should be commended for his brave choice (as should YOU, msslechix) in meeting this challenge head-on and using all available resources to succeed.
Do smokers who want to quit get berated for using nicotine gum or the patch when they try to quit? Do alcoholics get berated for joining AA or another 12-step program? Do drug addicts get belittled and denigrated for going in to detox and rehab?
For some reason I still don't understand, it is still socially acceptable for overweight people to be everyone's punching bag. If we gain weight we're considered lazy, gluttonous and stupid. If we lose weight, some people are just waiting to pounce on us the minute we gain an ounce. back, and silently rubbing their hands in glee (see, I knew they couldn't keep it off).
And heaven help us if we use weight loss surgery such as the VSG to lose weight (and are brave enough to admit it). Now we've "cheated". We've taken the "easy" way out and don't deserve to be happy; to be healthy; to feel normal and accepted. Never mind the fact that many VSG patients spend countless hours exercising, counting Protein and carbs and calories (all the things a "regular" dieter does). Somehow, the surgery did ALL THE WORK.
Msslechix, you are having this surgery for you. People will make comments. Don't let it get to you. Some will support you (stay close to them, you need the support!). Those that are belittling you and making you feel bad could be doing it for many reasons, not the least of which may be jealousy. Whatever the reason, just remember. This surgery and this journey are YOURS. Don't let anyone take that away from you.
I am just a few days away from 1 year post-op. I have been fortunate to have had a lot of support. There have been a few people along the way who were judgmental, and I've withheld the "truth" from some because I didn't think they would appreciate just how hard this decision and this process have been. It is CERTAINLY not "the easy way out".
But I could not be happier. I'm down 136 lbs and I have another 48 lbs to go until goal weight. I am playing sports I gave up 25 years ago. I can breathe without asthma meds (even when exercising hard) whereas before surgery I had 3 puffers and 2 oral meds. I have significantly reduced my risk of heart disease, diabetes, stroke, cancer, joint replacement, and arthritis.
I'm 43 years old and I feel like a teenager again. Life is exciting and a world of possibilities have opened up to me that I thought were gone forever. I would do this again 1000x.
Msslechix. This is YOUR journey. Enjoy it, and let the others be damned.

My philosophy from the beginning of my journey has been, train like an athlete for the rest of my life. I have food cravings, mostly Protein. My thinking revolves around feeding my muscles, having enough carbs for energy and Vitamin nutrition and fiber for health. The garbage food that is presented to me gets little more than a taste. I am building something here, I have sworn off tearing myself down.
The sleeve was a gift given to me. It cost me $1000. out of pocket and nearly $40,000 was paid by insurance. It was like I was walking to a goal that was impossible to reach and someone came along and gave me the keys to a Rolls Royce. I would be an idiot to not make the most of this.
An alcoholic once told me he used to detox just so alcohol would have a greater effect on him, not to change his life. Get clean, get dirty again.
You might hate being fat but that is not enough. You have to hate living and thinking like a fat person. You must hate the process of getting fat. Stay off that train, find the right one!

It really isn't anyone's business. I didn't disclose my wisdom teeth surgery, nor my colonoscopy or scoping of my left knee. I tend to keep my medical business to myself. I really don't care what people say or think. I've been a fat ass for so long, there's nothing that I haven't heard or overheard. People are going to say or do what they will. I didn't have the surgery to lose weight, I had the surgery to get healthy. I am a pro at losing weight, and have done so about 10 times. Keeping it off, meh... If people can't or don't want to understand and except that, they certainly can kiss my slowly shrinking posterior.