Kitt3000

I'm struggling with how I feel like I should be eating vs what I'm able to eat and what I read on here from some people.
As a lifelong dieter, I'm accustomed to the idea of smallish Protein servings along with heaps of veggies to fill up on. I recognized early on in the consultation process that this is not how I would be eating once banded. Instead, it would be small protein (properly cooked to be soft), eaten first, then a small serving of veggies and starch to round out my plate.
Well, I have yet to eat any real portion of veggies. I find almost all of them difficult to eat unless they are boiled to death.
Are you eating veggies? How? Which ones?
I miss my big salads and mounds of roasted vegetables!

You'll find as time goes on, what your bands characteristics are and how you exist with it.
Not many people are identical....
One thing you will notice after you read posts on this forum enough is how vast the differences can be....
There are people who doing just fine and never had a fill...I read a post this morning where the person said their band was filled almost to max, and still nothing.
Some people eat anything they want....some people are very restricted in the types of foods they can eat....
Some carbonated drinks, some not...some crush their meds, some not...drink with meals or not....and on and on it goes.
Everybody's truth is somewhere in the mix...does not make one person right and the other person wrong. So it can be very confusing to take everybody's experiences and make them your own...
Sure I drink beer now and then, but it was only after a few years and up till then my Dr. said absolutely not. (there is a secret in doing it IMO)
Does not mean everyone can,or should, just because I can....there are things other people do I cannot and never will attempt.
In the beginning I was presented with a whole list of "rules"..the do's and don'ts....over time, some of the rules applied less for me, and others became extremely important....
But in the beginning I had no choice but to learn and try to follow everyone.....
Bottom line...are you loosing? Are you making progress? That is why we had WLS in the first place.And that's all that matters.

Yeah, I got cleared to start solid food the day before Thanksgiving. Yesterday I had veggies and a 3oz of a filet (which I chose because it is the most tender cut) and it felt like it took all afternoon to eat it. Then I was full for nearly 6 hours! I was super careful to chew it really well, but it definitely took a lot more time to go down than anything else I've eaten. chicken and fish goes down pretty easily. The steak...not so much. Tasted great though.

I usually asked to replace the 7oz for a 5oz and the vegetables for Mashed potatoes, since veggies are not friends of my band. I ask also for the Sauce to help food go down. I bet what happened to you was because of the veggies. Use a juicer to get your veggies in. The weight gain is gases ... I can easily get 5 pounds and loose it in hours because I get so bloated that I guess i retain liquids. I didn't start enjoying my green zone until I relaxed about what I ate and when I stop counting, for me counting calories and ozs was a trigger to my anxiety then I ate more.

For me, this happens when I am over hungry, or ate too fast. I have to be very mindful of what I am eating, or those old bad habits creep back in.
Here's what I TRY to do, if I want the pie/ice cream, whatever, I tell myself to eat my Protein first. For instance my one egg and small piece of Breakfast meat. Then, I allow myself to have one spoon of the treat if I still want it. No one is perfect, and I think most of us occasionally struggle with old behaviors. Once I throw up something, I have Protein Shake for the next two meals in case I've irritated something. Take care.

I decided to look into bariatric surgery a couple of years ago. I was always thin, until I hit about 40. Then I started to gain every year. I have Rheumatoid arthritis so my mobility is impacted,had a hysterectomy, arthritis meds can cause weight gain, etc, excuses, blah, blah, blah!
But, I just turned 55; I have legal guardianship of my 10 yr old grandson who has some neurological issues. I am the only stability that kid has ever had and I decided that I needed to do something to make sure I was around for him for awhile yet. I also want to be able to do things with him. I didn't want him to someday be embarrassed when some kid asked him who was the fat, old lady.
I'm 23 days out. I'm doing well. Surgery weight was 200, and I will go for my 1month post op in a few days. I think I'm gonna be a slow loser seeing as my BMI was a little lower to start with. But, that's okay. Like I said, I'm 55 and the skin doesn't bounce back like it used to.
I just want to be able to go for bike rides, go swimming, etc. with my boy BEFORE he gets "too cool".

I am 21 years old and morbidly obese.... With in the last three years my weight started to spiral out of control. I lost 10 lbs in 6 months and then gained 40 in a year....I'm terrified of the effects this might have had on my health and what it could mean if I don't take care of this now. I want to live the life of a healthy (almost) 22 year old...I want to go on adventures and not have to worry that my weight will keep me from doing anything.

My Brother died at age 60, my sister died at age 63...both morbidly obese, with ALL the worst that can happen from obesity.
Between the both of them...
Heart condition, circulatory problems amputations, blindness, kidney failure - dialysis every 3 days, severe infections putting my sister into comas..
I can go on and on, but needless to say it was ugly!!!
So there I was, age 56, Dx'd with diabetes taking daily injections and oral meds, then the heart conditions started resulting in angioplasty and stents.
When they went in, they found scar tissue from a previous heart attack which I never knew....can happen to diabetics, "Silent Heart Attacks" because of the nerve damage.
I was seeing my PCP, Cardiologist, Endocrinologist, Dermatologist (from all the severe skin issues), and a Podiatrist (diabetes effects the feet) on a every 4 month schedule. (my teeth and gums suffered also)
My blood work was off the charts, all over the place. You name it, it was out of whack and I was taking more medications than I can count and could not get anything under control.
I could not sleep at night because of the pain in my legs.
I would have to sit, out of breath just from carrying groceries into the house.
My PCP sat me in his office, knee to knee, and said if I did not start loosing weight, I'll be dead very soon...following my siblings.
I told him, and he was also aware, that I have tried, and FAILED, at every diet plan under the sun.....EVERY ONE!!!
He said, as a Last Resort, that I should go see a Bariatric Surgeon, and WLS may be my only hope.
So he referred me.
I never thought I was a candidate, or that WLS could be an option for me. But the surgeon said I was EXACTLY the type of person needing something as drastic as surgery...to save my life.
Believe me, WLS is something I did not want to do, and I feel (felt) ashamed that that is what it led to.
But I can say that today, I do not have one single regret...has been the absolute best thing that ever happened to me...it gave me my life back, along with perfect health, and a life style free from ever dieting again, and no fear of ever gaining weight back as before.

I also am 38 and been overweight for a while. I didn't start telling most people until after I had the surgery, only My Mom and closest friends knew, I had incidents where one or 2 people I told tried to talk me out of it, and decided I would keep it to myself until it was over. I also am not crazy about the attention I get when Im losing weight some people are genuine but then there are those that never talked to me before who will start gushing over the fact I've lot weight and it makes me feel that is the only reason they like me.

no problem, Kitt3000. Just glad you answered. I'm really not that hungry so a little bit fills me up. I don't eat rice or pizza dough or bread.< /p>
Maybe Amponder is on to something with my chewing.
I am sooooo sick of throwing up which is why I switched to the sliders that stay down.
:-)

Try fish instead of steak or even chicken. I never have a problem with it and it's one of the 'good' foods.

Sorry, missed that one!
Guessing, just like everyone else, but from what I understand, the dense Protein is what stays there long enough for your brain to get the
"I'm full" signal, the things that slide right on past the band don't stay there long enough to trigger that signal. Unfortunately, that's usually the high calorie drinks, creamy foods, things that break down quickly like cake, Cookies, ice cream, pudding, chips etc... Do you get stuck and PBG with bread, pizza dough, Pasta, rice, things that plug up?

Me as well! Enjoyed but stopped upon satiety. It was awesome!!!

Next year my Husband and I will Celebrate our 20th year together, and to celebrate with all of our family and friends we have decided to have a Recommitment Ceremony. Yes, we are going to get Re-Married...


We are going to take our Vows again and freshen up on our agreement we took to one another two decades ago. Sometimes a “fresh start” rekindles those words spoken when they first occurred can remind us exactly what they meant to us.
But what about the Vows we took when we first took the plunge to seriously consider Weight Loss Surgery? Do you remember what you told yourself you would do way back when? Be truthful with yourself, are you still bound to these vows?
I remember mine, and the most distinct one for me was that I would NEVER go back to the old me. The obese me, the one who had no hope, who was miserable and feeling lost and scared of my own future. There were several others such as, I promise to work out and become fit for a stronger body. Even telling myself that no matter what, I would not let the scale dictate to me how amazing or awful a person I am. For the most part the scale often told me I was quite amazing (Ha!). I suppose maybe I did listen to the scale back then because it was fun to watch the weight melt away. During those times when the scale didn’t cooperate I used other means of measuring how well I was doing. I checked to see how my clothes were fitting; I kept a running measurement of every part of my body – even my neck and my wrist! Even a quarter inch loss in those areas made me feel better. Then there are the awesome side-by-side photos. Pictures don’t lie! They never did, and that’s probably why a lot of us hid from the cameras Pre-Op.
As the years go by Post-Op it really does become easier and easier to forget how we got to our goals and how we have maintained. It becomes easier to tell ourselves that indulging more and more is acceptable and before you know it the pounds creep back up. You will blink your eye and all of a sudden your clothes become tight and you notice a little comfortableness about yourself.
I personally have made a Re-commitment to myself not so long ago. I am 50 (and 1) Days into a No Sugar eating plan and I am back to regular routine workouts. Another agreement that I am re-committing to myself is that I will never again ignore the scale. Yes, it’s true I don’t allow the scale to make me feel bad about myself but it is a necessary tool to remind me that I need to make sure I don’t keep going up, or I will be like the mountain climber on The Price Is Right and yodel my way right off the chart cliff. Let’s just say my Re-commitment has done me well and I am more than on my way back to the champion I was a year or so ago. It feels good to take back the control and be reminded that my life depends on me keeping my promises. I needed this in order to take my future health serious.
Every day is Day 1, until you successfully make it to Day 2.
What were your most outstanding Vows that you recall? Are you still following them, or can you Re-commit to them? If you find yourself needing to Re-Commit, don’t wait! Take this moment to truly reflect on just how well you really are doing. Can you make some new commitments even?
This time write them all out on a piece of paper and make a contract with yourself to uphold the Vows of health and fitness with yourself, and sign it and date it. Read it aloud and if necessary show someone that you trust. Read it out to them and be upfront to them about what you are doing. Of course only you can ensure that you are upholding your end of the bargain to the healthy person inside.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could train ourselves to auto-correct our bad behaviors, before we made a mistake? You know, like typewriters. Both of my grandmothers had typewriters. I remember my Grandma Gwen, typing out letters and invoices for my grandpa’s construction business. I also remember how cool it was that my Grandma Pearl had an electric typewriter. When I was a young teen I was able to use it to retype a letter and it was pretty great.


Back in typewriter days, if you made a mistake you had a few options. 1. You could completely ignore the mistake and act like it didn’t happen at all and then finish your document. 2. You could backspace and X out the wrong word or letter, or 3. You could backspace and type the right letter over and over again until it was darker than the wrong letter. Option 4. was to use erasable typewriter paper – (I think it was called onion skin). If a mistake was made, you could take the paper out – use an eraser to erase the error and then put the paper back in, hoping that everything would line up ok, but often it didn’t.
Then along came the infamous ‘white out’ Great stuff. If you make a mistake, you could use white out to cover it up. At first white out came in a liquid, then correction tape, and eventually some typewriters included a white out key to type over the mistake, like my grandma Pearl’s. I learned quickly how important it was to let the white out dry before starting again to type the right word or letter or it would smear and make a terrible mess.
As we look back, the evolution from typewriter to word processor is truly remarkable. Today, we are fortunate to have word processing programs with spell checkers! Right now I am typing in a Microsoft Word Document. If I make a spelling or a grammatical error – it marks it accordingly. And, it suggests possible corrections. That’s cool. But what is even greater, is the auto-correct feature. I have used this program long enough that now it recognizes some of the words I use often and it automatically completes my words and sometimes my sentences - without me!
What a great feature – auto-correct. Wouldn't it be awesome if we could train ourselves to auto-correct our bad behaviors, before we made a mistake? I personally would love to be able to engage an auto-correct feature that would prevent me from eating the wrong thing or making a bad choice. I think that is possible. Somehow it seems to me that thin people have great control over their auto-correct feature. So how can I?
I suspect that each one of us is at a different point of being able to engage our ability to auto-correct ourselves.Take our eating habits, for example. When we eat the wrong thing, some ignore it and move on. Others try to X it out or cover it up with misplaced beliefs like – if I eat it fast the calories won’t count. As I have thought through this analogy, I have challenged myself and now challenge you to spend some time thinking not just about your mistakes and wrong choices, but more about what you do about it ‘after the mistake has been made and what it might take to activate your own autocorrect feature for next time.
Next time you eat something that you consider a mistake, pause a moment as ask yourself these questions.
1. How did this food get here in the first place? Likely it was a conscious choice when shopping. Auto-correct with more mindful shopping.
2. Was it in-sight or did you have to search for it, deliberately go for it. Auto-correct with out of sight or hard to reach placement.
3. Were you really hungry? Auto-correct with using the HALTS technique. Ask yourself am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired or Stresses? Then act accordingly.
3. Was there something else I could have eaten instead? Auto-correct by surrounding yourself with better choices – again that decision is made in advance.
4. So now that you have eaten that cupcake what are you going to do now? Auto-correct by coming to understand your own metabolism and know that if calories went in you need to work them off!
Like you, I have come too far to allow myself to repeat mistakes over and over again without making an effort to understand and correct them. I don’t want to ignore my mistakes or attempt to cover them up, “X” them out, or white wash them. We all make mistakes, but we also all have the ability to mindfully engage our own auto-correct feature. Here’s to lessons from a typewriter!

Years ago when I was in my early 40’s I wondered if it was possible to be considered grateful while still wanting / seeking more in my life. That presented such a conflict in my mind and heart. I felt that I was truly grateful but at the same time driven and desiring so much more.


Years ago when I was in my early 40’s I wondered if it was possible to be considered grateful while still wanting / seeking more in my life. That presented such a conflict in my mind and heart. I felt that I was truly grateful but at the same time driven and desiring so much more.
I pondered this each Thanksgiving for a number of years then, I just let it go. Just last week as I was browsing Pinterest, this thought popped up.

“Gratitude is what turns everything into enough”


This beautiful sentiment touched my heart, filled my spirit and answered my question from long ago. I heard and understood something different about gratitude. I suppose that I see many things differently now, now that I am in my mid-50’s. My priorities have changed my attitude has improved. I am happy, content and grateful beyond measure. Perhaps I have gained an understanding that only time can teach. Or perhaps it is simply about pausing long enough to count my blessings. So this season, I am grateful to be grateful!
Please take a moment to enjoy one of my favorite poems:

Drinking From My Saucer



I've never made a fortune
and it's probably too late now.
But I don't worry about that much,
I'm happy anyhow.



And as I go along life's way,
I'm reaping better than I sowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.



I don't have a lot of riches,
and sometimes the going's tough.
But I've got loved ones around me,
and that makes me rich enough.



I thank God for his blessings,
and the mercies He's bestowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'cause my cup has overflowed.



I remember times when things went wrong,
My faith wore somewhat thin.
But all at once the dark clouds broke,
and the sun peeped through again.



So God, help me not to gripe about
the tough rows that I've hoed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.



If God gives me strength and courage,
when the way grows steep and rough.
I'll not ask for other blessings,
I'm already blessed enough.



And may I never be too busy,
to help others bear their loads.
Then I'll keep drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.



~ John Paul Moore ~


My wish for you this Thanksgiving is that you will find contentment in our current circumstances, whatever they maybe. May you find joy and happiness in the simple blessings life and may everything you have be enough.

FYI, I had a conversation with Alex and he's going to set up an area on this site for dating related conversations and questions. He can see just by how this thread is trending that there are plenty of folks who are interested in discussing this aspect of our lives. Thanks Alex!

I have been through heck and back on this topic too. I remember feeling so vulnerable, exposed and like everyone was looking at me when i first got to goal. I think i was just used to being invisible... it kinda freaked me out a little. Now, when a man does a second look, i take it in strike - it is a nice compliment but doesn't really change my world. I think a nice healthy internal reaction on my part.
Earlier this week i had a long phone conversation with a man i dated on and off for quite awhile after getting to goal. He was with me when I went through plastics etc. We aren't actively seeing each other anymore, but he said some things that were really good reflections. In his eyes, i always looked good (we met after I was at goal, but heavier than i am now, and pre-plastics) but what he commented on is how much I have changed inside. He told me that I am so much more self confident, happy, self assured - something he finds very attractive. It made me feel good and was a good chance for me to look back and give myself a little pat on the back - not just for the physical changes but the internal ones.
It gives me hope that I will now have success in the dating world, finding someone to have a long term relationship with because I am just in a different headspace. The irony is that the less you feel like you "want and need" a partner, the more you value yourself and what you bring to the table, the more attractive you are to them...hmmm

Gowalking, you deserve every bit of attention that you get ! You show everyone that you're a smart and strong and confident woman, and if that isn't attractive I don't know what is !!! Good for you ! I think it's human nature to be wanted and desired, so if that's "vanity", take it !! We all deserve to be treated well and if someone likes the way you look, thats not a bad thing ! WLS opened up alot of new doors to new places that I had'nt been to in a LONG time, and having men think im attractive again is fine by me ! Im married, not dead !

Wow...I hit a nerve I see.
NewLife...you have to go onto dating sites...it's the only way to meet alot of men these days. Just make sure they understand you are not looking for a hookup and you will not tolerate any disrespect. If you put that out there right away, they usually behave. Give it a shot...you never know...

I haven't dated in so long, I don't even know how to meet anyone anymore. Any tips on THAT would be really helpful.
I put off dating to raise my kids, then I put off dating to finish college, then I put off dating to have & recover from a boatload of (non-elective) surgeries. I realized there's always something to put off dating for...
but now there's not really a good reason. I feel ready but have no clue how to meet a good, respectable man.
Clarification: I've had a lot of 1st dates, a couple 2nd & third along the way, but wasn't ready to date 'seriously'. I had a couple bad experiences dating after my marriage ended. Wanted to get to know ME well enough to be a good "I'm interested in him" picker.
So now I'm ready, but frozen, like a deer in headlights without a clue where to go
50 dates in a couple months? wow I wouldn't even know how people can 'connect' that many times to go on a date. Did they all ask you out? I like the man to do the asking but ... none have. I need to get out more, that's a good 1st step- but where? lol
And what's the get it started protocol these days?

Girlfriend!!! I am so with you on this! The first guy that I semi-seriously dated this summer kept telling me how hot I was. I just laughed. But it made me feel good. I hadn't been told that in so long! He did make me feel desirable and beautiful. And when he flaked out on me, I was tempted to shut down. But I realized that I wanted more of that feeling The guy I've been seeing for a few weeks now gives me that feeling. He smiles when he sees me. I smile when I see him...it's fun and exciting and terrifying all at the same time!

Stella got her groove back!!! Ha! Good for you! You enjoy every bit of it I'm sure it's well deserved!

I've had very much the same experience only sounds like mines moved a bit faster which was scary as hell! I went from this body dismorphic late 40s divorcee to the very obvious object of desire in what felt like a hot minute! It was a few weeks. We've really hit it off and I LIKE this one. Kinda scary to be in this vulnerable position where where we can get hurt huh? This is the second guy I've dated (out of probably 50 in the last 6 months, yeah, I was going for volume, heh) that I LIKE. The first one broke me a little. But I finally decided that I wasn't going to remain "shut down" for safety anymore. It's a good thing. Feel like a teenager again! Feel like I'm growing. It's easy to hide behind all that extra weight and use it to shut people out but look what we were missing! It's good to feel strong enough to take a risk!

@gowalking@☠carolinagirl☠ I echo those comments LOUD and Proud!!! "confidence is sexy.....and it shows (clothes or without) you deserve every bit of happiness"
Life is meant to be enjoyed and Liz my NYC pal I am so happy to read about all the wonderful things that you are experiencing in life!!!
I think I have a contact high....Woooo hooooo!!!!!