DeLarla

My doc said none of us want carbonation, otherwise we'd all be crying over missing Perrier Water. He said we only want the crap inside the carbonated water. So true for me considering I crave the chemicals in Diet Pepsi. However, he said there's no proof or documentation that carbonation causes slippage or problems with the band, unless a huge burp manages to get trapped. But I don't know any bandsters that have problems ripping a huge burp! My surgeon knows my biggest problem is ice cream. The amount of fat in a pint of Ben and Jerry's is disgusting, but ice cream is my biggest problem. A couple weeks ago my surgeon told me he'd rather see me as a "Diet Pepsi Filling Station" than for me to ever rendezvous with Ben & Jerry again. Since then I've been backing off the sugar, because at least I have my Diet Pepsi crutch. No, my doctor does NOT recommend that anyone drinks any kind of diet or regular soda simply for the fact they are loaded with nothing but crap. But for me, he said go ahead and use the Diet Pepsi if that's what it will take to keep me from night bingeing. If you can quit and stay off it, more power to you. There's absolutely no nutritional value in any kind of soda. Maybe one day I'll be able to quit, too. But I didn't eat any sugar today since I had my DP fix.

Pam, you might have just invented a product that will make you a millionaire.

Our demons are no different than the crack addict or the alcoholic. How many alcoholics have quit for years only to fall off the wagon in one fleeting moment. I spend way too much time here, too. But without LBT I have no other avenue for expressing myself. It's so safe here, because I could talk (write) for hours if necessary, and it doesn't matter if anyone reads it or not. Just getting it all out takes it off my shoulders. I've had a heck of a time so far after losing two ports, so maybe I'd still be on my honeymoon if I had regular fills and constant restriction. For now I'm going to keep writing and posting till I figure out my next move. I shudder at the thought of yet another surgery, but I need a fill, which means I need a port. I like to ramble, blah blah blah yada yada yada! The whole "honeymoon phase" isn't something I came up with. My surgeon explained it to me and it clicked immediately. This isn't something specific to me, it's something most, if not all of us, will have to face eventually, so thank God for LBT. Peace n' love - it's bed time. Wink.

California's a great big place... where are you from?

I finished my bottle of Xango but don't feel any different. Now I'm taking some funky liquid vitamin that tastes like Mango along with colon cleanse pills and Corti-Slim pills and multi vitamins. The B-12 shot did nothing for me, yet I'm still dead tired and can't drag my butt out of bed. Is this another form of OWD? (Old Woman Disorder.)

Too many kids, too few babysitters? The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side. I have zero babies. I have zero nieces, zero nephews. None of my friends had babies. There are no babies in the neighborhood. And I'm the one that wanted 9 children!

Yeah, you know the All Bran cereal that comes like in spaghetti noodle form? I toss a handful of that stuff in my shake. I happen to love bran cereal, and it makes the shake really thick and very filling. Sometimes I add raisins, too.

I think I have some size 10 scarves, hair doodles and earrings. Hell, I still can't even fit in a size 10 shoe.

Not only a new baby, but a new baby girl. Life just can't get any better.

Wow, I had the coolest dream last night. Most of you know I was raised without love (my mother is a certified paranoid schizophrenic.) Last night I dreamt that Barbara Streisand was my adoptive mother. In my dream, I was obese and sloppy, and she was slender and beautiful, but she took my face in her hands and told me how absolutely, unconditionally she loved me. It was the warmest, nicest feeling in the world - like what it must feel like to have a real parent that loves you. Meanwhile, Ozzie Osbourne was laying on lounge chairs with us in my front yard giving us a private concert. We were all drinking beer having a fabulous time when the cops showed up and broke up the concert. I yelled out, "Who the hell called the cops?" And Shirley McClain said, "I did." Then I woke up.

Lately I've been hearing a lot about new studies liking anxiety to obesity. Cortisol, I think, is the name of the chemical in the body that is responsible for keeping the fat on nervous wrecks. I have a long-term history of severe anxiety disorder. Right now, my anxiety is 100% under control unless outside forces sneak in or if I abuse alcohol or caffeine. For example, I'll be having a perfectly normal day, but my boss could raise his voice and set my anxiety off without warning, and I'll be left with my heart pounding and hands shaking (which is lame considering I couldn't give a rat's ass what my boss thinks since he's clueless.) Even 1 cup of coffee is too much for me, but I still drink caffeine in several forms because I'm a junkie, plain and simple. When I was in my 20s, I was spending more time in Emergency Rooms than at work, so my doctor put me on fulltime disability for 2 years. I couldn't leave the house without having a full-blown anxiety attack. It was awful, because I would try my hardest to mentally fight them off. I had nothing to be anxious about, nothing scared me, I had no fears, no phobias, but the physical attacks were debilitating, and according to experts, were residual breakdowns from an abusive youth. At one point I was taking four 1-ml Xanax a day just to keep from hyperventilating. If you ever took Xanax, four pills could knock out an elephant for a week. Today, I only take about 1/2 a month around PMS time, or I keep one with me for emergencies. I noticed "Corti-Slim" is a new OTC diet drug that addresses this problem. I haven't bought diet pills since Phen-Fen, so I'm wondering if anyone knows anything about this new discovery, or if Corti-Slim is any different than any other speed pill, like Dexatrim, for example. Normal diet pills give me major insomnia, but I took both doses of the Corti-Slim yesterday and slept like a baby. Any and all info/comments/warnings/suggestions appreciated. Alex, Donali?

Just like what Kelly said, if you have 100 pounds to lose, will you be satisfied losing only 50, then having to diet? That should be the first and last question you ask yourself before going through a drastic surgery. It's lots of money, lots of potential complications, lots of downs... and lots of UPS! I would do it all over again. Yep, absolutely.

Donna, today I have a medium-size handbag, and the cup fits inside zipped up with no problem (and it's already clean for tomorrow's use.) The tiny base fits in the silverware drawer. I'm thinking back to when I was blending my cream Soups in the big blender, and this would have been much easier. Bye-bye, big blender! And, if you stick to the program long enough, the weight does come off! Congrads to you.

Boy oh boy oh boy, don't I know it's true. I still can't order band-size food. I was so jealous of my banded friend when I had dinner with her and her huband, because they shared a meal. My husband is thin, but he's a big hog and won't share. He wants his own plate. Dinner is especially hard, and I'm feeding my fur-children way too much people food.

Today is Day 2 with my new gizmo, and I love it even better today. I'm buying several next time I'm at Walmart. I don't even use the little blender top that it comes with. I toss in my ingredients and plug the top with the sippy-cup-lid, and hit the road. At work, I add some warm soapy water and swoosh around. Ready for tomorrow.

I don't regret getting my band. Yes, the band works. You get full fast, there are times you simply can't eat. However, falling back to old habits comes too easy for many of us. I just always end up being the brutally honest one of the group that's not afraid to say that I've fallen back into my old habits to the tune of a 10 pound weight gain. It's all about choices. The Band originally restricts you from eating, and when it's new, you are scared to death to do anything wrong, so you follow the rules. Soon, the Band becomes a comfortable part of your life and you face all the same social settings, parties, work, leftovers, fast food joints, candy isles, etc. The Band restricts how your stomach feels, but it does nothing to take away the DEMONS. My demons are just meaner than others, so it takes more of a fight from me. But I'm tired. I have many enemies, but no regrets. I say it like it is, which really bothers or hurts a lot of people because girls aren't supposed to be mean. But to me, I want the hard, cold facts. I don't want to see a bunch of happy, smiling faces if there are underlying problems that need to be addressed. I need to get down and dirty and fix the problems. Could you imagine if a man tried to fix a car engine while keeping his hands clean? It's the same thing when it comes to our weight, our lives, our jobs, our relationships. If it's broken, it needs to be fixed, and you might get dirty fixing it. So I come here, post the problem, gnash it out, HATE a bunch of responses, LOVE a bunch of others, LOVE everyone for caring enough to put up with me, then hope for a better tomorrow. Meanwhile, I think Kare is me with another screen name. Don't be afraid to get the Band. Just get it knowing all the facts, and the fact is that statistics show "most" people lose 1/2 of the weight they need to lose with the band, and the rest has to come off through diet and exercise. Therefore, I'm a success. I'm still down a solid 60 pounds. I could not have done it without the Band. Rock on.

My dogs won't even sleep in bed with me right now, and the house is air conditioned. They normally "permit" me to sleep in a portion of their bed.

Why? Because you are better than her. You have every right to feel the way you do. My mother is a millionaire. She taunts me, as if I'm going to play her games. She wants control, so she dangles property under my nose like a carrot. She wants me to run a family business. She actually sent us (me, sister & 2 brothers) a letter saying we were each being watched, spied on, to see who deserves to be in her will. On a separate end of the planet is my father. He used to tell me how well he's taking care of me once he's gone, that I'd never have to worry. However, things have changed because both of these parents demand respect from me while treating me like I'm an idiot. I nearly killed myself in college to get straight As. I wasn't in competition with anybody but myself. I needed to prove that I wasn't the loser they think I am. I ended up on the front page of the paper with the highest GPA at CCSN. I walked across the stage feeling like the proudest person in the world, only to find out that my family accused me of "pretending I was going to school." Vine, I don't expect any of their money either, but we were all promised $500 for any A we earned and an additional $500 for any law class we took regardless of the grade. I was promised money for getting my real estate license. I did all of those things, but I'm not about to remind anyone that I have written contracts promising me the money. However, I was so tired of the rumors they spread about me, that I had all my awards, diplomas, certificates, letters from the Dean, etc., photocopied. I sent them to my Grandmother, who shared them with the rest of the bunch. It took five years after graduation to get a congratulation from anyone because they thought I was lying. I don't need or want a dime from them, but I understand your need for recognition. Oh yes, that I understand deep down through my soul. Meanwhile, my brother who grows pot in my elderly-anti-drug-grandmother's house, steals, lies, swindles, cheats (has been arrested, involved in YOU NAME IT) is almost a millionaire. He's a year older than me but only had one honest job 20 years ago (worked 2 years in a factory.) The rest of his life he's swindled a fortune from my family. He was named Executor of my uncle's will. My uncle left us each a good sum, but my brother kept it all. We still have a lawsuit pending. But, even though he made Gramma cry for stealing all that money, he still conned another piece of property out of her. Guess who will inherit the whole shebang? Let HIM have it.

Wait... is the inside of everyone's fridge as clean as Paula's? I don't have kids, but when Chris (often) drops a glob of jelly, he just relies on the dogs for clean up. My house sometimes "looks" clean, but most of the drawers and doors are stuck shut from things my husband claims he had nothing to do with.

And as sick as I am, I'm not even looking at Phil. I'm just trying to see what's in the fridge. Wow, Paula, you are a good little Bandster cause there's no goodies in there!

The Vegas Bandsters are having trouble kick-starting meetings. I've only gone to two meetings. The first was 5 people, the second only 3. I agree that a support group is really helpful. My new port will be around $2200.00, plus travel, plus lost work, plus fluoro, plus the fill, plus plus plus. If it would guarantee another 50 pounds, I'd go for it. But I'm looking at everyone's stats here at LBT, and so many people have plateaued that I wonder if it's worth my effort. I have the money right now, but I'm exhausted from all of it (see Zoe's post.) My life comes in waves. Right now I'm just floating but once a big wave hits I'll jump on it and I'll be ready to go again. However, I think many more people are over the Honeymoon phase than willing to admit. Just my opinion.

I'm cracking up over here. First I was jealous of the kids in the ocean, but look at lil Phil learning how to be a compulsive obsessive over eater at such a young age! He looks like me every single night. It's still hot, stormy and windy. I keep jumping out of my chair thinking somebody is breaking in. I have a patio door in my office, and pine cones keep getting blown off by the wind and hitting my sliding glass door. If I open the door, they'll whack me in the head.

Battery-operated underwear (cracking up.) Kel, I'll PM you.

Call me stuck up, call me conceited, but I've always wanted to be a cartoon character (okay, most of you think I already am.) What's it gonna take for you to draw me?

No way Mari, you really drew that? That's amazing, and she has my fantasy figure! You really drew that? She needs to go live in that beautiful fantasy flower garden in the other pictures. Wow. I make purses and tote bags out of anything. If I see something cute, I make a bag out of it. I've had some crazy requests, but so far I haven't let anyone down. Someone wanted a purple fuzzy bag, she got it! Lots of doggy totes, too.