It's funny we just had this discussion in my LB support group last night and even the therapist there didn't even know how to change that mind set.
All I know is God does not make any junk! You are special, there is not one other person in this universe who is like you. You're stronger than you believe, just by your post. You are a survivor!
I'm not going to pity you or say poor girl. What I'm going to say is the past is the past, you can't do anything to change that. Tomorrow hasn't happened yet, so no need to worry about that. All you have is today and today you are a strong women, look what you survived, look what you were about to tell everyone here. You're brave to come out and say I hurt, can you help me. I've lived a life of hiding my hurt feelings, always joking around so no one would know. God Bless You, You deserve to love yourself and if you can't do that, know that me a complete stranger loves you and thinks you're worth everything this world has to offer. Start living!((((HUGS))))