CB2

First of all congratulations on your success. It is an incredible achievement and deserves applause!! I'm only 2/3 of my way to goal, but as someone who once lost weight pre surgery and couldn't keep it off for more than a month, I am in this now for the lifetime maintenance.
I'm no expert but people further down this path than I am have strongly suggested therapy for adjusting to the new physical beings we are becoming. I see a therapist about once a month for divorce issues and I can surely see how a therapist could help me with body issues down the road.
Be patient with yourself, and give yourself time for your head to catch up with your outward self. Your success is an inspiration to me. I hope you are able to enjoy it!!

Yes. You do. I did!! Thank GOD!! No one likes a fat cat!

Yes. You do. I did!! Thank GOD!! No one likes a fat cat!

Yes. You do. I did!! Thank GOD!! No one likes a fat cat!

Yes. You do. I did!! Thank GOD!! No one likes a fat cat!

I tell everyone who asks... I'm in the army, and the Fat Guy stigma can really suck, so I had the procedure done.. Being in a workplace filled with Alpha males, you'd think I would shy away and get all macho. Nope. As a senior NCO, it's my job to lead by example, identify your weaknesses and overcome them, so I hide nothing and proudly explain my story.. I've gained nothing but respect from my superiors, peers and subordinates.. Honesty is the best policy.. Until your ready to share just say you had a "lifestyle change" partial truth..

You're in "Bandster Hell" stage. It's normal to have buyer's remorse in the first weeks post-banding. This is normally something that is discussed with patients preop so you're prepared.
You were probably given a food progression to follow post op. Have you followed it, exactly? This is important. In the first weeks and months following WLS following our diet and exercise "rules" helps to establish lifestyle changes (measuring food, logging intake, exercise, making better food choices) which become habit. Most people don't lose quickly in the first weeks...I think I lost 10 lb in 10 weeks post op, before my first fill.
I also noticed you're a lightweight with a BMI of 38...you're not going to lose as fast as someone with a higher BMI, generally speaking. Someone who weighs 300 lb and is 5'5" is going to lose faster, since more of their body mass is fat.
I'm going to give you some feedback on how you're perceived based on your posts(all we have). You sound a bit frantic. Anyone with 5 kids and has had surgery is going to feel overwhelmed, and that's the impression I got reading your posts.
Your doctor sounds like an ass. Telling you that you should be down 20 lb in a month is absolutely incorrect. 1-2 lb per week is the expected weight loss once your fill is optimal. During surgery, we're pumped full of fluids (I gained 6 lbs) and it takes time to get rid of it. Your tissues are swollen and it takes time to heal. If you lost 5 lb the first month, you'd be doing fantastic.
I think it's time to step back from the situation, take a deep breath and get out your preop paperwork, read it again. Make sure you're doing what you should. Also, I'd find a new doctor, stat.
Hang in there!

I have no wishes to share any medical history with anyone but my husband and 2 grown sons. It's nobody's business but mine and theirs. I feel not one bit guilty by responding to weight loss questions with "im careful with what i eat" period. That's it, end of story. I don't want to discuss my failures from the past, I don't want people watching me when I eat, I don't want anyone discussing me behind my back, I just want to get on to being a healthier me. I feel great, I feel empowered, I feel like this is the best time of my life. I'm so glad I had lapband surgery.

A co worker came up to me and said- you look so good. Tell me how are you doing this really? Did you have surgery?
I was shocked she asked and said -no!
But now I feel bad I lied and I can't look at her anymore.

Terry, I love your posts and comments, they are never judgmental but politely honest from your life experience! It always surprises me what people think healthy eating is! My story is a little different, I was thin the majority of my life. I was anorexic/bulimic for 10 years. I knew how to lose weight and keep it off, don't eat! I never knew how to be thin and heathy. So for me as soon as I started getting to thin I would get scared and go to the other extreme. I did this over and over for years. Your right, you have to decide what your willing to give up! For me I'm no longer willing to give up my health whether it be to be too thin or to be too heavy! The band has really given me the moderation that I need to stop being an all or nothing personality. I realized that the crap I was addicted to in my heavy stage I was also addicted to in my anorexic stage. Only difference is during one stage I would keep it down, the other stage I would throw it up! I had to be very careful about eating potatoes and chocolate! They are my triggers! It's getting to know yourself and making choices. Sometime we just can't have it all! If you think you can, you will probably keep asking why your band is not working!

Yay!!!

Yay!!!

Thank you everyone for your kind words. Thank you to those of you that reached out to me through private message. This was exactly what I was thinking LBT was going to be when I joined. I understand that certain people have no filter and that is the way they are. I'm not judging anyone just the way that I don't want to be judged. All I have to say to certain individuals is congrats to you if you've made it through this process mistake-free...perhaps I cannot be that perfect, nor do I want to be. If life was perfect, it would be boring and unfullfilling to me. I am going to make mistakes and hope that I learn from them. I'm early in my weight loss journey, some of you are at goal...please don't forget they days when you were in my shoes.
When I read the first few posts, I was distraught to be honest. I cried in my 1 cup bowl of turkey chili...in front of my kids, nonetheless. They couldn't figure out why mommy was crying while she was eating. I couldn't explain it to them other than to just tell them to treat others the way you would want to be treated. A couple of things struck a nerve to me. First and foremost that the pie killed me. Now, not knowing my personal struggle with food or just everyday life, I wouldn't expect anyone to know that would hurt so much. I went through a long period of time where I secretly struggled with suicide. Maybe not over pie, exactly LOL but food was a huge issue for me that made me depressed.
Secondly, that I chose food over family. I never once chose food over family, EVER. I sat at a dinner table with my parents, my sister and her family and my own two beautiful children. It was never about food. Sure I was excited to eat, but to say that...those are fighting words. My father told me during dinner that I needed more on my plate...I politely told him, I can't eat more than this. He took it as me starving myself. I said, NO I really cannot eat more or I will vomit. Enough said. My father never liked seeing me over weight, as he has never had weight issues, but yet always wanted to make me happy, even if it meant feeding me more than I needed. I deal with this on a daily basis. Family who doesn't really support me, a semi-supportive husband who understands but at the same time, lost his eating buddy. And then my kids, who don't understand why I can't eat the way I used to. Their too young to understand all of it's complications. So yes, everyday is a struggle for me...I don't need a stranger to point their finger at me and tell me what I'm doing wrong or that I'm a complete failure.
Food is all around me...I will always struggle...I'm a pastry chef, I own a cupcake and cake bakery. My husband is a manager for Dunkin Donuts. Together we are a recipe for disaster LOL And this is why I empathize with the two donut hole girl! haha. I was the 25 donut hole girl, the 6 cupcake girl, the frappuccino girl, the fresh baked sugar cookie girl...oh i could go on and on...
Long story short, I understand where the negativity was coming from. I don't like it, but I understand it. I just think words can be used differently. Think before you write...think about what your words can do to another person that you don't even know. We're all here to support each other. Thanks again to everyone that appreciated my honesty and stood up for me. You're the best!

Maybe the choice of words did trigger me! To hear someone say "you just sabatoged yourself three weeks out" and " you just killed it from the pie alone" .... I'm sure no one wants to hear that! I felt so sad for the person who posted the orginal because those are not encouraging supportive words. We don't know her personal journey to subject her to such harsh words of feedback. Maybe because I'm a clinical therapist I took some of the posts so harshly. I thought our intentions are to help lap banders, support each other, not to discourage and point fingers at mistakes, or disclosing honest feelings.
Minimi, the original poster said she had a small plate, and went for seconds..she stated she had no rolls, no crust, little stuffing ect.... ( very lap band concious, if you ask me), She didn't say she stuffed her self to a point where she was sick or throwing up.... She was being honest and saying she indulged a little bit more then she would on a normal day... Regardless, The only thing that could help her through or validate her honesty would be encouraging supportive words not harsh rude inconsiderate words that aren't going to do anything but maybe make her resistant to being honest and true in future posts. I'm sure everyone on here has made mistakes or had embarrassing moments they'd like to post that would be beneficial for others to read but sadly this is just an example of why so many might not.

You both need to check in with your doctor or you have done the band for nothing. It's okay if you have gained some weight, then doctor will make comments but use them as getting back on track. You both sacrificed on the operating table, and why don't you use the tool as a positive way. Start over by drinking liquids and Protein shakes again, then start introducing some food. I know YOU can DO it!
Best wishes and Keep the Faith.

I feel like a alcoholic. I'm always tempted to take that drink. Everyday is a struggle of good vs. evil. Aug 2nd was my last drink a route 44 dr. Pepper from sonic. SIGH** but I'm staying strong if I can do it anybody can do it!!

I feel like a alcoholic. I'm always tempted to take that drink. Everyday is a struggle of good vs. evil. Aug 2nd was my last drink a route 44 dr. Pepper from sonic. SIGH** but I'm staying strong if I can do it anybody can do it!!

I feel like a alcoholic. I'm always tempted to take that drink. Everyday is a struggle of good vs. evil. Aug 2nd was my last drink a route 44 dr. Pepper from sonic. SIGH** but I'm staying strong if I can do it anybody can do it!!

Sounds like u need a new dr.

Aww, you guys are so cool to welcome me back like that! :wub:
I couldn't have made it through my sabotage phase without you all, I really mean that! Now I feel I'm back in the band life even more because I got "in touch" with my band. It seems more real now. I must sound silly. I was doing pretty darned well for the past three months (minus my "phase") with changing my lifestyle, eating healthier, etc.
Ready, On your mark, Get set....Gooooooooo
New life with my LBT family!

try drinking or eating something WARM; like oatmeal or soup; that helps me the most with a tight band

I think this can be a harsh place considering that we were all a bunch of fatties. Filtering can be useful.

You know, I got on this site hoping to get answers from people just like me but instead of feeling comfortable, I am afraid of being honest or feeling like I am going to be judged if I make a mistake, ask a stupid question or make a comment about my experience so far with the band. Let's take this post for example, she says she is happy she got stuck and people act like she has lost her mind instead of educating her in a nicer way. She said she was eating tacos and she is made to feel like she committed a sin. She says she is going 70mph and suddenly the post is fake. Let's get real, if we are on here is because we all overate, ate the wrong things more frequently than not and probably didn't do much exercise so to make someone feel bad about their choices or comments is pretty hypocritical to me. It's not what you say more than how you deliver your message.
We are here to motivate and support each other not repremand or judge each other.
P.S: this is not meant for "all" who posted on here, only for some as well as others in other posts I've read.

you can do it! i'm sure the doc has seen many people "fall off the wagon." i'm glad you're going back to the doc. you're taking a step in the right direction.

I have a belly button that frowns....boobs that sag and remind me of a tube sock with a tennis ball in them and barely fit into a B cup, upper thighs that jiggle and arms I could fly with. My tummy/hips measured 77" on the start of my journey. They are now 38". I have lost 208 lbs... I have 9 to go. I do not however have a trace of visable scarring. thankfully I also do not have a huge flap of skin hanging from my belly.
Between the weight loss and time.... its the peril I must live with as a thin person unless I get plastic surgery. I am 52 years old and I will wear a 2 piece bathing suit on vacation next month. Its a size small on the top and medium on the bottom. It is a push up top.... obviously. It is replacing the sized 3 or 4x I wore at the same resort 2 years ago. I wont look hard bodied but I will look presentable and thin and healthy! I will also be packing cute flirty skirts in a size 8/10, capris in bright colors paired with small tops and cardigans because as a thin person I now get chilled in air conditioning. Who knew?
Do I have a body of a thin 22 year old.....? Obviously not. Would I like one? You bet. Am I willing to go under the knife to get it? Maybe if time and money werent any object. At this point I am thinking about it for the boobs and tummy. But if I dont... they make padded push up bras and clothes to wear which if I dont say so myself I look fabulous in!
Basically my quippy reply is to tell you to focus on the positives. You can exercise all you want and use creams and potions.... but what will be will be. So Celebrate the journey and find happiness in the fact that your quality of life will improve!
Best of luck!