mykdzmom

I got my JP drain out yesterday and it sure feels good to be rid of that thing! I have a lot more mobility and I got to take a real shower without being tethered to that thing. Things are going pretty well. I am meeting 60 grams of protein and getting all of my fluids.
 
I felt the need to change things up a little bit today. I had been out running around and decided to get some baby food. I have been doing fine with Strawberry Sorbet Unjury, Chicken Soup Unjury, and Oikos Triple Zero Greek yogurt, but I just really needed a little variety tonight, so I got some Gerber baby food. I have a little jar of Turkey and Gravy and a half a container of Squash for dinner. It may not have been quite a half cup, but boy oh boy did that hit the spot! I guess I just needed a "meal," you know? Since I am only at 50 gm for my protein intake today I can still have one of the Oikos yogurts later on, which will bring me up to 65 grams for the day and I actually feel satisfied. I felt a little funny shopping for baby food but I think it was worth it.

I figured that I would write a little about the weight I have lost so far.
 
During the first all liquid week I lost 11 lbs.
I am now a week and a day post-op and I have brought my total up to 24 lbs!
24 lbs. in 15 days I think has made my body freak out though. It's my week off so I exercised like a fiend yesterday and Sunday- I didn't lose any weight and this morning I had only lost 1.5 lbs.
 
I know that I am going to have periods of time like this where I don't lose any weight- I've been able to stay positive by thinking about how I am now lighter than I was when I arrived at my moms house here in FL in October
 
STAY POSITIVE!

I feel that I need to share a statement that was written by someone who is a friend of my coworker. I wish I knew who it was so I can give proper credits. But this statement will really explain how it is to people who dare to say that "surgery is the way out". There is absolutely NOTHING easy about weight loss surgery. Enjoy.
 
Why surgery is the "easy way out" for weight loss!
 
Yep, you heard that right. I've decided that I agree with the myriad non-surgical, gym-loving, overwhelming weight loss successes that feel strongly (and vocally) that surgery is the easy way out. They really are correct. We all should be ashamed of ourselves for taking the shortcut approach and racking up an "un-earned win".
 
Just think about it. To successfully lose weight without surgery, all you have to do is two things:


eat less

exercise often

 
With surgery, you only have to do one thing:


pay a surgeon to make you lose weight

 
Well, perhaps that's a minor oversimplification. There are a few other steps, but they are tiny and insignificant. Not everyone has to do them either! But, just for the sake of objectivity I’ll list most of them that I can think of. (I might miss a couple, but since surgery is the easy way out who cares really.) Let’s see, there is:


Convince yourself that you want to do this. This is much more complicated than it seems, so take your time. Don’t get sick before you make a decision.

Convince your doctor that this is medically necessary. Convince him/her that you really do want this and you aren’t just someone unwilling to sweat a little. Convince them that you won’t die on the table. Convince them that you aren’t doing this so you can keep eating cake for breakfast. And lunch. And dinner. Because that’s the only reason big people are big people.

Spend anywhere between 3 months and a year working with your PCP to make a preliminary run at losing weight. This should include:


A special diet

Exercise

Constant office visits to measure progress

Significant expense to participate in the diet (Nutrisystem, Medifast, and Jenny Craig, I’m looking at you!)

Lots of documentation

Likely (if not anticipated) painful, humiliating failure (PS, this is a requirement!)
 
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Spend hours to days or more working with your insurance company website, phone reps, and via letter to determine if weight loss surgery is covered at all, assuming they will admit to it.
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Once you find out it is covered, find out what exactly is covered. Type of surgery, location, type of doctors required, pre-op programs necessary, pre-op medical requirements, pre-op diet requirements, and documentation. Make sure you understand it all clearly because…
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Meet with your PCP to go over all of the above. Explain to them what most of it means, because they don’t understand. Make sure your work so far will meet the needs of the insurance company. Convince him/her to do the work to get the approval. If not, return to step 1 and try again. (Note: make sure you do all of this quickly- most of these rules are subject to change on January 1, even if you have a 12 month diet requirement. You’ll need to find a way to violate the laws of space and time on your own.)
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Get a psych evaluation. People who want this surgery are invariably crazy, so we need to confirm that. Don’t use a doc you know. Go somewhere you’ve never been so that they can get that first-blush, cover of the book impression of your particular brand of crazy in the 45 minutes you get with them. Let them write their report confirming your “crazy flavor” to your docs and insurance. They will approve you anyway.
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Take an online class that confirms the crazy diagnosis.
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Take another online class that basically tells you if you have the surgery you will likely die horribly on the table, if you’re lucky. You might just become a vegetable and be a possibly fabulous looking skinny burden on everyone you know and love!
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Find a surgeon that can both perform the surgery (practically, legally, and allowable by the insurance) as well as doing so without causing


Errors

Infections

Hernias

Leaks

Death
 
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Make sure that doc can take your insurance. Not just yoru insurance, but your exact insurance. This may require them to check at least a dozen contracts.
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Do the same for the hospital.
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Make sure that hospital you’ll have the surgery in isn’t a festering wound itself. The surgeon can only do so much if when you get to the floor you’re placed in the same bed last used by an Ebola patient with a cold and cleaned by “Blind Larry”. Fortunately there are many websites sponsored by government agencies to help you with this. They will all disagree with each other.
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Get insurance authorization to have the surgery. Fortunately this process starts the weight loss, as one arm and one leg weigh a surprising amount when removed and given to them. This should take no more than a day or two, tops.
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Have a discussion with your employer. Let them know that you’ll need a full week off from work in the near future. You know, when you aren’t busy and won’t be missed. Again, if you’re lucky you’ll have vacation and can use that. If not, think of how much extra weight you’ll lose when you can’t afford to eat for lack of a paycheck! OH, you may need more than a week. If you come out healthy. If not, it’ll be more. A lot more.
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Have a discussion with your family, if you haven’t yet. If you haven’t yet, shame on you for your discretion, personal space, and recognition of the gravity of this decision. Make sure that you convince them that you won’t die, runaway with David Beckham or Eva Longoria (or both if you’re flexible), or otherwise ruin the home.
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Get answers to all of the questions you have. Fortunately ObesityHelp is a great place for that. You will get no less than 10 answers to every question. Some may actually agree. ☺
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Make sure that this is really what you want. This isn’t like buying a car or getting married. This is permanent and there is no going back. Still confident this is the right choice? Now you know your flavor of crazy from item 7.
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Go on a liquid diet. You may not have anything that you cannot “read a newspaper through”, is solid, has calories, has carbs, has protein, has flavor, or is made of a natural substance. This will last anywhere from two days to a month. Your surgeon will tell you how long.
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While on the clear liquid diet, please try not to cheat on the diet. More importantly, please try not to defecate on yourself. Here’s a mantra for you: “Never trust a fart!”
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Have the surgery. This will include:


Large, but not quite large enough gowns with special butt exposing panels

Freezing rooms

Needle fears

Vein scavenger hunts

Panic attacks

Several other fun moments no one will spoil for you to discover
 
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Recover from the surgery. This will include:


Amazing drugs that will make you fear for the poor 110lb nurse that will help you walk at first. Please don’t fall during this time or you will crush her. You’ll fear this, but only briefly (great drugs remember). Just don’t fall.

Walking. Yes, you’ve just had your entire insides rearranged and have more stitching in you than a rented tuxedo, but hey, let’s go for a walk. Every hour.

Eating. This is really a game. You have a 3ish ounce container that replaces your stomach. It is swollen, but you don’t really know how much. If you over fill it, you will be in serious pain, and may hurt yourself severely. Here’s the fun part- you’ll be given a selection of hald a dozen clear liquids to choose from. Some will make you retch. Some will taste like heaven. All are more than 3 oz. You- the person who’s complained that Mickey D’s quarter pounders have never once been a quarter pound – now get to determine what 3 oz looks like. Don’t forget two very important things.
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Going to a bathroom. The author of this article is a male, so with that perspective in mind, consider the male stereotype of urinating. Now imagine that sharpshooter in the hands of someone who cannot see straight, or single vision, is falling asleep on their feet, whose prostate is not yet awake from surgery but whose bladder most definitely is, and who is currently on their 4th IV bag of saline with lactated ringers running wide open. Don’t forget to measure your output!
 

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Go home! This is the easy part. Stuff your swollen and now anesthesia free self into a car and try to avoid potholes, cough, sneeze, or breathe too hard.
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Continue the clear liquid diet for a few more days
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Progress to protein drinks. These are a joy. There are few if any samples, so make sure you get the 5lb bottle to be sure you love it.
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Progress to pureed or baby food
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Progress to cat food or tuna
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Progress to gourmet cat food or flavored tuna / canned chicken
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Progress to dog food or chunky soups / heavily cooked soft and unflavored chicken
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Progress to human food. During this time you will need to learn a few things. These will include:


How to eat. Remember you’ve been doing it wrong all your life so this should be easy.

You may only have dense protein.

You must take in no more than 3-4 oz.

You must take an entire 30 minutes in which to do so.

You may not drink before, during, or after the meal.

You may not have anything spicy.

You may not have anything with carbs.

No alcohol for at least 6 months, or maybe forever.

Nothing liquid.

Carbonated anything is permanently off the menu for the rest of your life.

Nothing with caffeine.

Nothing with less than a 10:1 ratio of protein to carbs

Keep calories as low as possible.

Learn to keep something that meets all of your dietary needs handy. If you need to eat, not every place can meet your “special needs”.

Make sure that you understand that you need to do this for the rest of your life. You can’t change this. Non Surgical people can indulge once and awhile. They can cheat. We rupture.
 
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Please remember to keep your intake to levels that would make Ethiopians send you food. This is generally 800 calories, less than 40 carbs, and more than 80 grams of protein per day. You must do all of this in 3 meals with no snacks.
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Take your supplements:


Calcium. Note that it isn’t the same calcium that you can get for a dime on any gas station shelf (Calcium Carbonate). This is a highly refined form of easily absorbable calcium (Calcium Citrate). It will come in three forms: A disgusting snot textured liquid found at Wal-Mart for $11 per week, a myriad of chewable pills that all taste like flavored drywall and cost about $20 per month, and delicious chewable candies that cost $40 per month.

Multivitamin. You’ll be doing double doses. Get the adult gummy ones. Find the ones with no carbs.

Fiber. Get the adult gummy ones. Find the ones with no carbs.

Iron. Some people will take iron. Get chewables.

B12. You can do pills under your tongue that taste like yesterday’s fish for $10/month, injections at the doc’s office every 3 weeks, or a nasal spray that costs $350/month.

Do all of the above for the rest of your life. Don’t stop or you’ll die.
 
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Start to exercise! What, you thought that you didn’t have to exercise? Yep, here’s the trick. You are going to lose weight even if you don’t. Here’s the other trick. It’s easier to take that weight from your bones and muscles if you don’t exercise, so if you don’t work out, all that’s left will be fat!
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No really, you have to exercise.
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Yes, that means sweating.
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Make sure that while you’re going through this easy time in which every hormone you have is at full tilt, every part of your body looks and feels funny, nothing fits, and you generally are proud that you’re losing while also being weirded out by how different everything feels you also take into account everyone else. Remember, this is about them and how they perceive you. You can’t be the popular kid. The healthy person without diabetes, hypertension, edema, or apnea. The more confident employee. The more confident lover. The physically stronger person. The person who wants attention. The person with self-esteem. You need to apologize frequently for these failures and must work hard to gently help these people along to where they can think of you as a lesser person for altogether different reasons than they did before, to preserve their psyche. Stop making your weight loss about you.


 
See? Even with these minor things, it’s obvious. Surgery is the easy way out. Don’t be a sucker. Be strong, and just eat less, and exercise more. It’s that simple!


You are stoned on anesthesia. Your judgment aint what it should be.

So is your stomach. It’s not going to help you by saying “I’m full” for about 2 weeks to a month.
 

It's two weeks today since my sleeve surgery!!
 
To date, including my pre-op diet, I have lost 11.2kg (just over 24 lbs) so my surgeon and I are very happy to say the least!
 
I still have a week to go on full fluids. I am so over shakes, sometimes I can't even drink one anymore. I make soups which I add protein too and drink protein fruit drink, but I'm struggling now. I can get all my water in tho. The last two days I have had really bad bloating so taking some De-Gas tablets. I still don't have a lot of energy either. I feel grumpy & depressed and can't even drag myself out the door for a walk!
 
I know I still have healing to do and a few changes ahead of me still but I'm very happy that I made this decision and look forward to the future when I can eat more normally.
 
Lizzie

Huge Victory for me!! My ticker has a skier on it because my first goal was to lose enough weight to go snow skiing with my kids. We planned to take them for their first ski trip this January. I hadn't skied in 10 years or so and even though I've skied since I was a kid and even at big sizes, I was afraid I couldn't do it. 10 years older, heavier, etc.
 
But I had lost 45+ pounds by the time we went and the small victories (and big ones too!) were everywhere. First, being at the gym 5 days a week was a huge help. Even big, I am stronger and more athletic. In the past I had trouble finding ski clothes that fit me, trouble finding boots that fit around my shins, trouble bending over to latch the boots. Well, no more!
 
It was so great to shop for ski clothes just like everyone else. It was amazing (although no one else in the lodge would've realized it) to gear up and snap on my boots just like everyone else. I felt so strong hopping off the chair lift and cruising down just like everyone else and even better, skiing better than many of the other folks on the mountain!
 
Few understand the joy of just feeling like everyone else. They take that for granted, they don't even notice it and they sure don't realize what a huge triumph that is for some of us. Just feeling normal was a sweet, sweet victory. And the very best part of all, was riding the chair lift with my boys. A year ago I would have had to watch from the balcony of the lodge as everyone else skied. I wouldn't have been able to share in the funny memories of all of us falling together as we hopped off the lift at the summit, seeing Paul ski into this huge snow pile, or enjoying the gorgeous scenery on the way up and down of snow covered evergreens. I would never have experienced the serenity and peacefulness of the ride to the top and swishing my way down along side my kids.
 
I feel like the old me is BACK!!
 
Now I need a new goal. A couple of years ago we did a zip-lining birthday party for my son Dane. Needless to say, I stayed on the ground. I'm sure I was over their weight limit and probably wouldn't fit the harness. So my new goal is to do the 2 hour course this summer. I've lost enough weight, but I need to lose more inches to meet the harness restrictions. But for the first time, I really know I can do it!!
 
I have to admit, the last 7 weeks, I haven't lost anything though. I know why - drinking lots of calorie laden tea, cocoa, and coffee for one thing. Kind of hooked on that end of the day cookie as well. The bad habits of the holidays linger. At least I haven't gained anything and with all the sweets I've been eating that seems a surprise! So I have to get back my most serious focus. My birthday is 7 months away. I could conceivably be at my goal weight by then.
 
How would that be for a goal?!?!?!?!

So it has been 2 months since my surgery. I took an extended break from this blog and the site because I was getting crazy. I was crazy obsessed with every ounce that didn't come off when I thought it should, with every bite that went into my mouth (or didn't). For me, I couldn't read about the great weight loss that others were experiencing because it caused the same bad feelings I used to get when looking at fashion websites....and I knew for me that wasn't a good sign.
 
Today is the first day in a very long time that I've logged back into the site. Here is what I think I've learned in the 2 months since my surgery:
1. It's more complicated than I thought it would be. I did really well on the two week pre-diet and I thought post op would be like that...I would religiously follow a strict plan and success would happen! For some reason that was much harder to do starting about 20 days post-op. Perhaps it was because I had been on liquids, squishy things for MONTHS at that point, perhaps it was Christmas and all the holiday habits...but I found myself eating things I knew I shouldn't....albeit very small quantities. So when I went back to the nutritionist at about 6 weeks post-op, she was supportive but also blunt. Eating bread, rice, pasta are not good post op because they swell in the stomach....hearing that made me really take notice....did I go through all this to sabotage it 6 weeks out with some bread? NO I DID NOT!
 
2. I have to be more patient with myself. I've settled into about 700-800 calories a day...which for me is allowing around 2 pounds loss per week...and I've become accepting of that. For some reason I thought it would be 6 or 7 pounds a week...but not for me. I have stopped weighing every day and weigh just once a week again. I've dropped so many clothes sizes that I recently had to give away some pants I wore for 3 weeks....3 weeks! I mention that because it is another way when the scale doesn't move to know that I'm doing right things.
 
3. If you share your journey with folks, they will ask you questions afterwards as well....especially "so how much have you lost" which is really annoying when you haven't lost anything in a couple of weeks. It can also be awkward when you go out to eat with them...like I sometimes have to do for work events. The first one I went to was at a freakin Pizza Parlor. I ordered the meat sub, minus the bread...and ate 1/4 of it...lol. The folks at the table kept asking me if I wanted a wing...which I didn't...and saying things like "I should really be eating like you". I think I made them feel guilty...which made me feel guilty.
 
4 I still like chocolate. There I said it. I have given up bread, rice and pasta....but I still crave chocolate and so when I enjoy a piece, I really enjoy it, log the calories and move on. I've also found some good diabetic dessert recipes that I'm working with.
 
5. I still like cooking....a lot! I cook different things (cauliflower "rice" anyone?) and I grill a lot. I'm also eating more fish. I'm glad this part of my life didn't go away...
 
6. I haven't figured out a consistent exercise plan yet. Most days I get 30 minutes of walking, but that is usually at work and is to and from meetings...while I'm glad to be able to do that, I know that I have to get some more intense cardio going to improve my heart health and stamina.
 
So, one question I get a lot is ....was it worth it...and I would say absolutely YES! While not as fast or easy as I thought it would be, I have never in my adult life lost 57 pounds before...and I know in my core that those are 57 pounds I will not regain...so yes it was worth it! Till next time...Beth

So this Monday at 6 am I went to a lovely hospital about a half hour from my home and had my surgery.
 
I am not sure how I went in thinking I would only have three scars and would be able to leave that same day.
 
First, they have you strip and pee in a cup. Then they give you the first of many shots that help to prevent blood clots (ask them to give them to you in the thighs/arms bc the tummy was very painful). Then they take some blood. Three or four different people will come in and ask you the same set of questions over and over again- who are you, what are you here for, etc. It's sort of funny as long as you don't get annoyed. Then you get your IV in your hand and you are all set to go.
 
Then you are wheeled away and asked to count backwards from ten- I got to four. Then I was dreaming. Then I was being shook awake from lovely sleep and was in more pain than I have ever been in before in my life. I immediately started dry-heaving, nothing came out of me. It was incredibly painful.
 
They wheeled me into post-op where I would stay until a room opened up for me- this was the worst part. They were not allowed to give me the "good stuff" because I had just come out from anesthesia. I lay there for hours- until 1 pm- all the while doing some combination of sleeping, waking up from pain, hiccuping, moaning, crying, asking for meds, and dry heaving. I felt as if I had been hit by a train. I felt as if I wanted to die.
 
Finally, they wheeled me upstairs and I was able to get some real meds and some real sleep. I was able to get a dose of meds every two hours but, for that first day I could sleep for an hour and then would whimper for an hour, trying not to watch the clock. They also gave me nausea meds every six hours. My nurses were... how do I put this nicely... Very busy? All throughout this day you are so thirsty that you would do anything for a drink or an ice cube but, NO WATER FOR YOU. NONE. I was able to get up and take a walk this first day and was encouraged to do so again during the night- I tried but, couldn't I needed pain meds more than a walk.
 
Through that first night you are woken up by pain, and an endless stream of nurses who give you clotting shots, take blood, and pain meds. That second morning, I knew I was in for a tough day- when I woke up I felt like I was going to puke everywhere. I called the nurses station and told them just that and they showed up- twenty minutes later with not even a bowl for me to retch in. Luckily there was nothing in my tummy so I dry-heaved into a tissue and cried as they slowly made their way to my room. That morning I was up and walking about and was lucky enough to run into the xray woman who told me I could be first on the list because I was up. About an hour, a tiny cup of horrible tasting dye, and three x-rays later my doctor was visiting me for the first time. He told me that everything looked good, that I had minimal swelling, and that if I could keep food down I would be released in the afternoon. Unfortunately, he did not say this in front of a nurse so I waited two hours to have food delivered to my room- they brought me a cup of tea? Not water? Really? Broth and a green Jello. I asked for a cup of water and it was like milk of the heavens. I could have cried over this water.
 
After finishing my meal my mom came to come see me so that we could start the process of getting home... This process took hours. My doctor came to see me around 1 and cleared me for release but, somehow didn't complete all the paperwork till about 5. There was another woman on my floor who had the same surgery after me and while my mom and I were cruising the halls we saw her leaving. Luckily my mom is super pushy and we made phone call after phone call till my release was sped up.
 
All in all, very painful, and full of red tape BS that made a slow process even slower. Also, very glad to be three days out and to only feel like I got hit with a bowling ball- it went train, car, moped, bowling ball.

My best friend asked my how eating out was going to change post-op. We had been eating out every Sat. night for years and we always went to buffet type places.
 
I told him that nothing was going to change as far as I was concerned. I went out to eat with him for the company, not for the food. And as far as I was concerned, the $12 - $20 bucks I spent each week was nothing that would change my quality of life, so I didn't care about getting my money's worth.
 
I wish I had taken a picture of my plate the 1st time I went to a restaurant post-op. I think I had 1 fajita chicken strip, 1 tablespoon of guacamole, 1 tablespoon of refried beans... and I couldn't finish all of it.
 
Here's a before and after photo from last weeks trip to the buffet. .
BEFORE:

 
AFTER:

Well, here I am on the 16th day. Tomorrow I have my first follow up with my surgeon. I am nervous about it, not sure why. I hope I don't disappoint.
 
I am still struggling with solids. I am supposed to be on pureed food but I can't do it. So I stuck with protein shake and bars and soup. I have tried tinkering with certain solids but my stomach is not having it.
 
I think I am not chewing properly. I know we have to chew to the point of non existant, but I am not there yet.
 
Not a whole lot to say, other than I am on the dreaded 3rd week stall and I can barely make it to 400 calories.

Hmmm.... I don't know if I am happy or disappointed about my office visit today! I will have to admit ... I have been a scale junkie since my surgery but I guess my scale has been lying to me . I started this journey at 266.5 and as of today I am 249. That is according to the Dr.'s scale. So, I am actually only 17lbs down since my surgery. I liked my scales number better, but let's be honest .... IT LIES! I will go and recalibrate it as soon as I get home today ... or get rid of it and get a new one that will tell me the truth! Other than the numbers, I am happy to report that my tummy they took away had no traces of cancer, etc. Good ole' pathology is going to make sure they get the breakdown.... just thankful there wasn't bad news about that! Now, all my vitals were good, color was good, got off my Lasix the day of surgery and I still have NO swelling as well as getting off my Metformin, no traces of diabetes Type II either! I will say that was worth every penny and hour spent preparing and having this surgery! I did have to get another B-12 injection today because my energy level has been really low, but I kind of got a slap on the hand because I went back to work the Monday following my surgery. I put in at least 9 hours a day with a few minutes for a lil sip of soup and then home to mother four children, putting my recovery last on the list. I guess I thought since it didn't fall over dying, I was fully recovered. YES ... I love my job and I honestly couldn't wait to get back to work!! Well, with all that being said, I have not allowed myself enough "DOWN" time so my body is still worn down from my surgery! It has only been three weeks, but I didn't want to stay in the house, alone, and waiting for my body to heal when I knew I felt great! I still feel great, but, I do get tired (mentally and physically) by 2:00pm and push myself through until bedtime. (Which has turned into 7:00, opposed to 11:00) In my defense, I am up at 5:30 walking through the neighborhood getting some exercise and nature to start my day!
 
I did ask for feedback about losing 17lbs today and my sweet nurse said I was right on target. They mentioned most patients lose anywhere from 15 - 20 pounds by their three week check up. NOW ... by my four month check up she said the patients usually lose up to 50lbs. I will be happy to make that post!!! I guess I feel a little down becuase I thought it was more than 17, but I will take losing that 17lbs anyday over gaining 17lbs. Lots of questions from the nurse and a B12 shot and I was out the door!
 
I had to share and get my weight loss straight with anyone who reads my blog because I am an honest person and I wouldn't feel right lying about it ... that gets me NOWHERE!!! I did that pre-surgery! I will hope to have lost a few more by the end of this week!
 
Loving life and losing!!
 
twenty15

I am feeling great! I know it's still early in the post-op phase, but I still haven't found a reason to be anything but grateful for my VSG. I am healing well and wearing jeans again. I have been a little crazy with the scale hoping for a huge weight loss number. I think 22.5 pounds is a pretty good start! I am thinking I am about to hit the dreadful three week stall and not looking forward to it, but I think I have made my mind up to stay away from the scale and maybe do a little measuring. I don't have to be ONE with the scale all the time!!! RIGHT? Actually, I am now down 23.4 pounds since my surgery date and that is working with me! I have started my work out schedule and actually have enjoyed getting up and working out (mildly). I am still a little slow on the walking, no brisk, fast paced, hard core walking yet, but I know that will come in time! I think I am most happiest about finally being able to eat again (chew, chew, chew) and not having to sip my meals! That sure was hard, but looking back, it seemed time went so fast!
 
I wish anyone thinking about one of the surgeries, doing one of the surgeries, or has already done one of the surgeries the best of luck in every aspect of this great life!
 
twenty15

I know I have a long way to go in this process, but for the first time in a long time I feel good because I feel like I am doing something good for myself. It is not that pass fail feeling, but more like I’m investing in myself feeling. This first month I met with my surgeon again, (first time was 2012 see my story) and got tons of information and my check list for moving forward. I have had my pre op lab work done for a baseline and discovered I am low on Vitamin D which was addressed with prescript supplement. I was also instructed to start Centrum Adult multivitamin daily. I met with my PCP for my 1 of 6 pre op diet check in with a BMI 41.8 which means during this pre op phase if I fall below BMI of 40 I will not qualify under my insurance coverage specs. Don’t even get me started on this. Sigh.. I have spent countless hours on this site learning from your experiences, taking notes, celebrating your victories, and just drinking it in. One of the tidbits of advice was start preparing for your new lifestyle today. To me that equated to - start the behavior modifications required after surgery before surgery. This first month I gave up carbonated drinks of all kinds. It has been a real struggle doing just that single thing, but I am feeling a big sense of accomplishment knowing that I can actually do what I have set my mind to. I have also started counting my chews. I thought this was total garbage, but after 4 weeks, I am just amazed that, I guess, I have never actually chewed my food. It takes a lot longer to eat doing this…. Go figure?
I know I have not written anything new or done anything bold but for me writing this profile feed was a step in accountability. I hope as the days and months move along I can look back and see how much I have invested in myself and not give up. For me as I look back, and anyone who is reading, a heart felt good luck to you on your journey!

7 wks post op tomorrow and down 24lbs. I know that 24 lbs is good especially since I am not at my sweet spot, but I still feel like it is coming off slowly. I am doing well keeping to 900-1100 calories a day. I have given up soda, coffee, fried food and haven't missed the one bit. I no longer drink during meal, which I thought would be horrible. I am counting my calories on myfitnesspal and I am working out 4 days a week on our elliptical and lifting weight a couple of days. I opted to park further away from the door at stores. The way I eat, cook, heck live have all changed in the matter of 7 weeks and I don't feel like I am missing out on anything. For the first time in my life I have will power. Today I went to a work meeting and they had coffee and donuts. I turned them down and was happy with my propel and my fiber one 90 calorie cookie for my mid morning snack. While the donut looked great, I knew I didn't need and and wasn't hungry for it.
 
The only thing that makes me say hmmmmm...... is I seem to lose a half pound a day Saturday thur Monday and then the rest of the week I don't lose an ounce. What in the world causes that? My water consumption doesn't change. My calorie count stays in line. Yet each week it's the same pattern.
 
I am loving my new healthier life, but still learning the ropes of living the life.

So I just had my 4th fill and I totally needed it. I could eat a whole hamburger patty and a small bag of chips. I haven't blogged in a while. Things are going pretty good. I feel really emotional right now. I am down 70lbs though. My hip is still on the fritz. I commited to the 5k for my birthday, so now I have to kick it into high gear for training. I just decided to commit and if my hip starts to hurt during the run that I can just walk. Now I just have to get over my pride and realize it is OK to just walk. My BFF : ) is going to do this with me. She has done it before and assured me that some people do walk and everyone is really supportive. I got some new strength videos this week so I am going to work on strengthening my hip and booty and see if this helps. I really love the way I feel when I jog and i want to be able to do it pain free. I also need to work on the mental aspect too. I get overwhelmed when I dwell on the distance and I need to concentrate on something else. I am working on an upbeat playlist. My mind draws a blank when I think of what to download. If there are any suggestions out there on some good running tunes, I'm all ears! Well the 5K is on the 4th of Sept so I better sign off and hit the streets : )

I've been banded now come December 18, 4 years and I have not taken my band seriously. It's been a yoyo for me. Had fills ...to tight! unfill... to loose! Put a little bit in at a time and still not right!! I'm tired...just plain tired.
I realized hey; IM THE ONE THATS GOT TO MAKE THIS WORK!!! Ihave open my eyes to a lot of thigs just this week. So anyway, here goes;
1. I joined a gym today.
2. Bought some high protein stuff.
3. And today...I take my life back and get REAL!!!!
Ali

Yesterday was my one month post-op anniversary. I am 20 lbs down and really feeling good. I am still struggling to get the 64 oz of water my nutritionist wants me to get, but I am getting close. I have only had one fill and that was interesting. My doctor does fill with floroscopy so they can see and hopefully make sure they don't over fill. My 10cc band currently has 2.5 cc's. While my fill did not hurt a bit, I passed out. Apparently I have a sensitive vagus nerve, when the fluid was pushed into my band quickly I got dizzy and went out for second. It passed quickly and the doctor said that from now on they would have to push fluid slower as to not agrivate the nerve. I go back in one month and hopefully will be down another 20, but know that is unlikely.
 
The first couple of weeks I was dropping lbs like no bodies business, but now it has slowed to the 2-3 lbs a week. I am just happy it is headed in the right direction. I am so looking forward to being in onederland.
 
I am enjoying the lower grocery bill each week. I find I eat so little it take fewers groceries for me and my hubby. Don't get me wrong I am still eating, but I am just eating so much less than I did before surgery. Of course the extra eating and eating the wrong things got me to 244, so now I am turning that around. I am so thankful to have had a good experience thus far. I am so scared of getting stuck or throwing up that I am VERY careful when eating.
 
So far I think the best part of finally having had the surgery is the feeling like food no longer controls my life, I control it. My days aren't about what and when the next meal is, it is about the here and now. I do wish I would have done this 5 years ago when I first looked into it.

My uncle Mal died on Tueday. I was never close with him but i needed to go to his funrnal for my father. After in the Jewish religon we do something call stitting shiva pepole sit and rember the love one snd food is seved and others bring tons and tons and tons of food. This could be a bandest nightmer. the furit basket have stared to come somehow they become less fruit and more choclet and cookies all the stuff i would have gone right for. Then to make the whole thing better my faimly was there. I not great freinds whith very meny of them my 1st coisens are 15 to 20 years older then me and still look at me as the chubby kid in the family who eat becuse she sad, upset. lonely I am the only one who is bigger in the family.i looked around to see what i could eat there it was protine lots of it chicken salda and little tiny roll ups that when you un rolled with out the bred was the perfect size for me and i knew if i sat long enough i could chew it and i had tryed cold cuts at my house and had no problem. My cosin who have no idea what i did said to me why are you on a starvation deit don't you want the cookies cakes ect. I keeped a bottle of watter in my hands during all the cookies and cakes knowing i can not eat and drink at the same time. Finley my mom bulrted out Laura on a helthy kick she had Weight Loss Sugery she even truned down food from me lately. Then led to a bunch of question how long do i plan to do this ect ect. After my fear that i might lose my band on monday night i was not messing it up I need the band I also need those size 16 paints i have now and all those cookies and cakes will only lead to me being bigger and i don't want that. One family member was so taken with me she said she wanted it but did not want to give up things. I told her if your not willing to change your life and your relationship with food and work on this evey day then this would not be the right choice for you. This is only a tool and it will only work if you work the program right not if your going to screw with it

What made me think that maintenance mode would automatically result in freedom from fat angst?
 
My husband thinks I am too thin by several pounds. When I went shopping for jeans today and asked for a size twelve in Cruel Girl, the store clerk suggested I start with the nines since "you are quite slender." The scale tells me I am at goal but the mirror reflects what appear to be fat deposits clinging to my hipbones and upper thighs. I've spoken about this with the health coach my insurance provides me with and I am wearing a pair of size nine Wranglers, but... my head is still in fat mode.
 
Is it a matter of chanting an "I'm not fat ohmmmmmmm" mantra several times a day? Perhaps I'm afraid if I start to feel thin I'll get overconfident and back the weight will come, especially since in the last two weeks I've had 1.75 cc removed from my band. My band tightened over the course of the summer, perhaps due to a series of mild stomach upsets that caused some swelling. For a month almost everything I ate and drank came back up in short order. Removing .75 cc made it possible for me to drink liquids comfortably, but I still struggled to keep solids down so opted for another unfill.
 
What a challenge this last 1 cc unfill has turned out to be. Dr. B tells me it is easier to adjust up than down and he’s not led me wrong yet, but I have essentially no restriction on what I can eat right now. We were supposed to begin fills next week but he will be out of town, making my next fill appointment ten days away.
 
Can you say “trepidation,” Dear Reader?
 
Now, no doubt practicing self-control without physical restriction is good for my character, and I realize that if I gain a few pounds in the next ten days I can lose a few pounds in the ten days immediately following. I did gain a couple of pounds which I know logically was water returning to my dehydrated tissues, but- GAIN? Did I actually write GAIN?
 
All of a sudden the ghosts of the ninety-five pounds I lost crowd around me, trying to find a place to reattach themselves to my body. Fat angst.
 
In retrospect, I wonder how much fat angst contributed to my overnight stay on the hospital’s telemetry floor this week? Here’s the story of that:
 
Wednesday afternoon, I sat on a hill above the creek, watching my sorrel mare graze on one of the last semi-green patches of grass in the pasture. My knees were drawn up to my chest, a position I love and had not been able to achieve during the years I hauled around almost a hundred extra pounds. I thought perhaps this position caused the dull cramp across my chest. I straightened up but instead of loosening, the cramp grew worse and wrapped itself around my back as well. More position changes and a few stretches later, the cramp tightened into a sharp band of pain that took my breath away. I eyed the distance between me and the barn, took Star’s lead rope in my hand, and started up the hill, thinking surely the walk would release the pressure on my lungs.
 
It took me far too long to cross that expanse of pasture; I must’ve stopped a dozen times to bend down and will the knives to quit stabbing me. I thought about calling out to the two women riding in the arena, but suspected I couldn’t make a loud enough noise for them to hear. Besides, who wants to cause a scene, hmm? By the time I reached Star’s run and fumbled open the gate for her, I was ready to cause any scene necessary to get myself some help. I made it to my car, found the cell phone I almost never turn on, and lay down on the ground to call 911.
 
The next twenty-four hours of my life were blessed by medical personnel who were kind, compassionate, and competent, from the dispatcher who stayed on the phone with me until the ambulance arrived to the CNA who walked me to the door of the hospital when I checked out the next afternoon. The ambulance driver was an acquaintance who used to keep his horse at the stable. The EMT who hooked me up to an ambulance IV and a heart machine apologized for his own wheezing as if his allergy to horses (activated by the horsiness of my clothing) was more inconvenient to me than it was to him.
 
When an ambulance hauls a 57 year old woman with chest pains into a hospital, things happen fast. Preliminary tests determined that I was not having a heart attack, but the ER doctor told me he was concerned enough that he wanted me to stay overnight for observation and a stress test the next day. To make a long story short, subsequent tests determined that I have a fine healthy heart. The hospitalist discharged me with a caveat from my internist to make an appointment for next week to determine what had actually caused the attack. Suggestions ran the gamut from blood clot to esophageal spasm to panic attack. Panic attack? I didn’t feel panicked. There was that fat angst thing, but… surely not. How completely embarrassing would it be for fat angst to simulate a heart attack?
 
Sitting now at home in front of my computer, I must relate something in which I take intense satisfaction: not once did any health professional lecture me on the health risks of obesity or relate my weight to the attack. To them I was simply a normal sized person who needed to spend a night on the heart floor.
It’s time to make the same commitment to that normal sized person as I did to her hugely overweight sister two and a half years ago. She needs- no, I need to treat myself with patience, compassion, and firm kindness and go into this new phase of my journey with the same determination and hope with which I entered the initial phase.
 
I am not fat, ohmmmmmmmmmm.

Hello everyone, I am a newbie J
 
I couldn’t ride the rollercoaster at Disney World with my kids (July 2012). How humiliating to have to exit the ride because I was too big. How humiliating was the remainder of the day having to use the “check to see if you can fit” seat before standing in line.
 
With eyes wide open, I now accept that my obesity is preventing me from living my life to its fullest. It’s more than just wanting to look good in my clothes, it about having full mobility, and control of my body. I sit here today amazed at how it has slowly disappeared as the years have passed by.
 
I begin my 6 month (actually 7) physician supervised weight loss to satisfy my insurance requirements, then on to a barrage of test as you aware. Instead of looking at each visit as an obstacle, I am going to view them as small successes on the way to reach my goal(s).
 
Although I am scared of the unknown, I am excited to be doing something to improve the quality of my life. I am glad to know I can pull on the experience and encouragement that can be found here. Thanks to everyone who has had the courage to share their experience as I embark on my own. Traci aka mykidzmom10k

Sorry for the delay!!!
 
I weighed 239 and change this last time... I have to weigh in again on Monday! Im excited about the loss but I wish it was more like 3lbs a week instead...
 
So funny because every time I think about updating my blog because I know im behind on tracking my weight I keep saying 139, hahahaha...I havent been that low since I was about 19!
 
Anyway...I was trying on clothes last weekend because we ELOPED!!! YAY!!! We ran away and I wore a dress similar to what I wanted. It was more about the moment, the meaning of the ceremony...and then I saw my pics!! WTH, I look like I need to be making tortillas in a mexican kitchen, lol (I am Mexican, BTW) hahaha.. I will post my most heinous pics when I am at home since I am doing this from work (oh oh) :ph34r:
 
So I keep saying that I have some nagging little support issues from my partner... I will post about it on my next weigh in on Monday. I promise.
 
Also feeling fuller this last week. Ive had some serious stuck issues twice in the last two days when I was eating my protein. Once with chicken breast yesterday at lunch and this morning with my eggs and sausage at breakfast. It might have happened some other times but I cannot remember past these last two. It was pretty painful. Trying to avoid mushy slider protein like the tuna w/mayo and melted cheese that I have been eating in a pinch.
 
Getting too long- let me start another blog entry!

I feel like for the first time in years, I am actually taking the necessary steps to better my life! I can't wait to start losing weight and feeling good about myself again - both physically and mentally. The past couple of years have been such a downward spiral for me, I have gained SO much weight, my attitude has totally changed. I used to see myself in such a different light. I liked who I was and I was comfortable in my own skin, even being overweight. Now, I look in the mirror and I see a disgusting, fat pig who is lazy, unproductive, depressed and eating her life away. I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT PERSON ANYMORE. I refuse to be that person ever again. I have made an official vow to myself and my family that I will do everything in my power to get healthy again, from the inside out.
 
I sit here thinking about how much time I've let pass where I could have been actively trying to lose weight. All the diets that I quit, all the times I said "I'll start tomorrow" or "I'll just cheat this one time." For me, it all comes down to willpower. I always say I don't have any, but guess what? Starting today, I have all the willpower in the world! I will never say I don't have the willpower to get healthy. Because that is like saying I don't have the will to live. And I do! I want to see my kids grow up, I want to be a positive role model to them and to others who are embarking on this same journey. I want to be the person who said "IF I CAN DO IT, ANYONE CAN!"
 
I am very excited for my surgical consultation with Dr. Rantis on 8/2. Excited and nervous. What if I can't get my insurance to take care of it? What if Dr. Rantis doesn't feel I'm a good candidate? What if, what if, what if. I know it's counter productive and totally useless to worry about these things as they are not in my control. I guess I need to get better at learning to let go and let God.
 
I am going to keep trying to stay positive, through the good and bad. Attitude is half the battle. And for this moment, nothing is going to get in my way on my journey to losing weight and getting healthy.

I had my surgical consultation yesterday and it went swimmingly. Dr. Rantis was a lot cooler then I expected. Reading his reviews online led me to believe that a) he is a terrific surgeon and he lacks bedside manner. I thought his bedside manner was fine, and he seemed to think I was quite hilarious so that gives him a check mark in my book
 
We discussed my health history and asked me if I had any issues. I said, "No, I'm pretty healthy. Just fat." he said, "I like you, you're funny." Maybe I opened him up a little more because I tend to have a blunt, no holds barred type of attitude. Who knows.
 
After having my body composition analysis done, I studied the little print out in disgust. 310 pounds even. That is not the woman I see when I look in the mirror. I don't feel like a 310 pounds person. I don't like myself right now, and I can't wait to change that. I can't wait to see the number on the scale go down and down and down. I don't know how I've allowed myself to get to this point. I'm embarassed and disgusted and just plain sad. The doc asked me what my goal weight was and I told him at this point, my goal is to break the 200 pound barrier. I remember when I weighed about 225, thinking the same thing, I just want to get below 200. How silly was I! What I would give to only have to work off 25 pounds. Now I need to focus on working off over 100. Sick.
 
Now, I wait. I have to get a pyschological evaluation and personality test done, and I need to attend a pre-surgery nutrition class for bariatric patients. I have scheduled both already, pysch eval on 8/16 and nutrition class on 8/23. I guess I will find out after that what my next steps are. I plan on taking some before photos this week to track my progress. Really not looking forward to that but I will do it for the sake of the cause.

Day one of the beginning. All the hoops have been jumped through and this is now for real. I don't know why I didn't start blogging earlier but better late than never. So far the diet isn't bad although it is 8 AM. I will be spending a lot of time here I think. I'll be back!

Today was my first weigh in at the doctor's office and I lost 10 lbs! Yay! Super stoked that the hard part of the past week has paid off. Everything else is looking great and should be progressing nicely.
 
As shy as I am to tell those not overweight that I have had the surgery, I have found comfort in meeting all the patients that had surgery in the past week at our nutrition meeting today and all the friendly, kind, motivational people I have met here online. I feel a sense of freedom I don't have around "normal" people. It's like you all get it. You know what it's like. And I'm not a failure or giving up by having the surgery. I'm making a commitment to changing my life for the better. Thanks everyone for being so awesome. It's amazing what support can do for us all! We're all in this together!
 
A

That was the response I got at Olive Garden today when I said "no thankyou" to the complimentary garlic bread. pat pat pat myself on the back. Seems like small potatoes, but it was a HUGE triumph for me.
 
I love breads, rice, pastas...oh and the delicious mashed potatoes made with cream cheese!!! I am a not just a food addict, I am addicted to starch.
 
So, I orded the soup (pasta fagioli) and salad...yes with the dressing. But I did not order anything carb loaded. I thought about asking the waitress to remove the bread, but my friend was enjoying it sooo much, I just didn't have the heart.
ooh ooh ooh....and you know that little mint they give you at the end, I gave it to my friend.
 
New plan, I am going to feed all of my friends so they get fatter to make me look skinnier. Just joking.
 
The will power is getting easier....but no bueno on the shakes 2 times day. It's too much sweetness. I bought some jerky, string cheese and yogurt to get the full amount of protein needed per day. I also eat fish or chicken and green veggies or salad for dinner. I am only down 2 lbs for the first week of preop diet, but I am still limited on my excercise with my broken toes. Note to self....stop falling down stairs.
 
Tomorrow starts week 2 of preop. Phew....can't wait for this week to be over with. I am so excited to get banded next week.