Kentucky Girl

I did go this morning for my final consult. Although, I wasn't told that I would be there 4 hours so my husband was pretty angry. Anyway, my surgery is now scheduled for October 22. I came home with the meal replacment powder and all the vitamins that my doctor requires. I can see that it is going to be a struggle to drink 5 shakes a day. I have been drinking on my first one for over an hour. : (

This is my Bucket List that I posted on July 17, my surgery is now scheduled for October 22. Bucket List, Here I Come! 1. Cross my legs 2. Ride any ride at an amusement park 3. Run 1 mile (nonstop) 4. Parasail 5. Ride a motorcycle for hours without being in pain 6. Fit on a motorcycle with my husband 7. Touch my toes 8. Tuck my shirt in and not be embarrassed 9. Shop and wear clothes from Victorias Secret 10. Zipline 11. Step on a scale and not be embarrassed 12. Wear a bathing suit with confidence 13. Tube on a river (I will have to explain this one)

So, it has been a while since I last blogged about anything. Between work and life I have just been busy. However, a recent turn of events has brought me back. I finished my 6 month insurance required diet 3 weeks ago. 1 1/2 weeks ago my insurance approved my surgery. My last test was a stress test yesterday. My WL doctor didn't even have those results (which were all fine) and they called me today and asked me to come in tomorrow morning for my final consult with the doctor. They also told me that he has an opening on October 22. WOW! Talk about fast!! When I first started this process back in March I dreaded having the wait the 6 months which actually went back pretty quickly when you are working and life is just happening. I never dreamed that the insurance would approve me in less than 2 weeks. They usually require a 2 week preop, they said don't worry about it just start it tomorrow. So, I haven't really stressed or worried about the surgery this entire time because I was trying to get everything done that needed to get done to satisfy the insurance company. BUT NOW! I don't have time to worry. Going to eat in a few with my husband and daughter at Texas Roadhouse for my LAST SUPPER and I'm not even hungry! My downfall is sugar but don't really want that either right now. Let's back up to yesterday. I am sure that all women know what the "paper vest" is. If not, I will explain. The paper vest is disposable clothing. This vest would only cover up a person weighing under 100 lbs. Maybe less. Picture if you will, a 350 lb. woman being given this paper vest to put on on the cardiologist office. It covered nothing. I tried to adjust it only to rip out the side like SHE HULK. They said no problem, we can fix it with tape. HA They hooked up the electrodes and then proceeded to take disposable hand towels and tape and cover my breasts which had all ready been seen by everyone in the room (oh yeah, I had to walk down the hallway wearing the ripped vest to the treadmill room). I also had to walk, jog and run on the treadmill with the paper vest on. Boobs flopping everywhere. All I can say is that is why I am having this surgery. In the future, anytime I go to any doctor for any reason, I am going to request a paper vest because I should finally be able to cover this stuff up with one eventually.

I know exactly what your talking about. They tell us to lose during the supervised diet but not to lose too much. What is too much? I wouldn't even be on the website if I could do it on my own right?

So here I am in my 5th month of the 6 month insurance required supervised diet. I haven't lost a pound. I have to admit that I really haven't tried. Don't get me wrong, once my motivation kicks in, I can lose on my own. I lost 75 pounds 2 years ago but have gained it all back. I am not pigging out either. I just figured that my surgery will come soon enough and from then on my eating will drastically change. I have always exercised religiously, but lately, with arthritis in both knees, I hurt too much to even walk. Am I the only one that is lacking motivation right now?

So, last Friday I had a routine checkup and cleaning scheduled at the dentist. I went to the dentist as usual and straddled the chair to get in it. As the girl begins to raise the chair up and lay it down electronically to clean my teech, it begins to snap, crackle and pop. It has never done this before! I laid there terrified that I have just broken this very expensive chair. I panic that when she is finished, she will not be able to raise me back up. How embarrassing! I'm sure that the chair doesn't usually make these noises. Only when a 340 lb. person is sitting in it! Surprisingly, the chair raised up just fine with no noises this time but I had scooted down in the chair trying to take the majority of my weight off of the back before she moved it. Had I broken their chair, I wonder if they would have tried to charge me for it?

AGAIN, I sit here at work on the edge of my chair praying that it doesn't break and knock my ass to the floor. I am always getting coupons to Victoria's Secret for free pairs of underwear. Not because I can wear their clothes but because I buy perfume and body products there. I went in last week to use my most recent coupon. I usually give them to someone I know but this time I decided that I would keep them for myself as an incentive to lose the weight. Okay, someday I may be able to wear a large or an extra large, but I don't ever see this ass fitting in a small or medium which is conveniently all that they had left of the free ones. I told my husband that the first thing that I am going to do when I lose enough weight is go to Victoria's Secret and purchase one of their cute push up bras. He already complains that my boobs are sagging to my belly button which is exaggeration but I am sick of wearing the 100% cotton sports bras to flatten everything as much as possible. We should challenge Hugh Heffner to publish an issue of Playboy magazine featuring ladies that have have lost 100 or more pounds. I can't say that if I were even a size 6 that I would have the nerve to do it, but I wonder how many of you would? Just a thought!

Thanks for the support everyone. It helps because my family isn't' supporting me right now.

Thanks MeMe, I have to laugh too because I refuse to cry.

Forgot to add that we bought a 25 foot camper over the weekend. I wonder if it is normal to worry about breaking the steps every time I climb up in the camper or tipping the camper over!

I have a few things to get off of my chest today not to mention the 150 lbs. that I need to lose. As I sit here at my window seat desk, I can see my reflection staring back at me. It disgusts me to see the rolls of fat as I sit crunched in this office chair. My uniform shirts seem to shrink even though I wash them in cold water and hang them to dry. I have my fan blowing on my face because it is hot, (105-108 heat index today) but I would rather put a jacket on to cover up the rolls of fat because I don't want anyone seeing them. Like people can't look at me with or without a jacket and tell that I am morbidly obese right? Anyway, I just want to sneeze, blink or click my heals together and the weight be gone. I failed to mention that another thing that I am constantly worrying about while I sit in my chair at work. There are offic chairs for normal size people and office chairs for fat people. So who wants to seriously go to the office supply purchasing agent and say "I need a fat persons chair"? Not me. One day while sitting here I heard a loud pop. I instantly jumped out of my chair and examined it. Everything looked fine so I gently sat my large ass on the edge of the chair unsure of what had just happened. Suddenly, a loud noise that sounded like a gun shot went off drawing everyones attention to me ( I sit in a cube with 7 other people and none of them are FAT! I jumped up out of the chair and the spring mechanism had broken, stripped, gave out or just decided that it couldn't take my fat ass anymore . Oh yeah, I forgot to add that this chair was only 9 months old. So, daily I hold my breath and hope that it doesn't happen again before I can get this weight off. I am sure that no one else has ever had anything like this happen to them, RIGHT? : )

Awesome, you are an inspiration to me. My goal is 150 lb weight loss!

I lost 80 pounds without surgery 2 years ago. I ate very little and exercised 2-3 hours a day. Due to life and work, I got tired of working out and gained it all back but 10 pounds. I don't want to be a victora's secret model, just wear the clothes! : )

Kimberly, I know exactly what you are going through. 1 1/2 years ago my father walked into the ER thinking he had the flu. Apparently he had a heart attack earlier in the week and did not know it. After finding the blockage and stinting it, he was put into an induced coma and died exactly 1 week later from all his organs shutting down except his heart which had been repaired. He was 60 years old and was completely healthy except for type 2 diabetes which he was managing. The difference here is you have the opportunity to talk to your father and tell him everything that you want him to hear while he is still alive even if it is over the telephone. I can only hope that my dad died knowing that I loved him and that he was able to hear the things that I said to him while he laid there in a coma. I will be praying for you and your family.

Thanks for the encouragement Sheila. I have talked with several people that have had lap band and gastric bypass. Although most of them did not keep off the weight, they all agree that I should have no problem because I am very active. I would be so happy to weigh 190 lbs. I am tired of wearing layered clothes to hide my rolls of fat at the office and then I sweat like a cow in heat.