sabstar22

I'm one year today and just a few lbs from a normal BMI. I love my sleeve. It was a rough start with my complications but I would do it again in a heart beat. The picture is the start of my 6 month medically supervised weightloss, about 6 weeks before surgery then last Sunday.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
SW 242 Height 4'11''
6 month Pre-op loss (-28.6)
Surgery date 8/8/11 213.4
 
1 month - 194.2 (- 19.2)
2 months - 180 (- 14.2)
3 months - 170.2 (- 9.8)
4 months - 164.4 (- 5.8)
5 months - 167.2 (+ 2.8)
6 months - 162.4 (-4.8)
7 months - 155.4 (-7)
8 months - 149.6 (-5.8)
9 months - 143.4 (-6.2)
10 months - 139 (-4.4)
11 months - 132.6 (-6.4)
12 months 126.8 (-5.8)

NOTE: As always, this is a funny look at the things that have happened/are happening as I continue on my weight loss journey. I in NO way plan to replace food with alcohol or need to be told how bad I am for drinking one night with a friend (mind you it's a friend I haven't seen in 15 years). Please don't feel the need to lecture me or get passive aggressive with your comments. As my regular readers know, I am just giving a comedic side to WLS. Also, remember that everyone's journey is different and just becasue I may or may not be doing it the same way you are, does not mean that I am better or worse than anyone else. Ok, I think I covered it all. As always, enjoy and I hope the story puts a smile on your face.
 
 
Sorry it's been so long since I've blogged but I've been one little busy beaver. I had my friend and her family in from Costa Rica, then my friend from Ireland came in for two weeks (she is still here), and while she was here, my brother-in-law and niece came for a two night visit. Needless to say, I've been the hostess with the mostest. I've really missed doing my blogs. They seem to keep me focused and help me put things in perspective. I've also not had time to do myfitnesspal.com. So, for about a week and a half, I haven't written any of my food intake down. That just makes me feel like I've been a bad, bad girl....and not in a kinky good way. (sorry, those hormones are still pouring out of the fat cells LOL)
 
Anyway, I have so many stories for you all. I wish I could just sit down and type them all for you but I can't so today I am going to let you know about my first drinking experience since the sleeve and the interesting things I've learned from that experience. I hope I can give you a good idea of how the night went as I am not sure if I remember it all....but more on that later.
 
First, you have to understand how I met my Irish friend Cat. 15 years ago, I worked and lived at the beach. Cat worked at the same place and even though she didn't live with me, I swear there were times I thought she did. We were 21/22 and we were having fun. We worked hard and played harder. We spent many nights at a bar across the street from my house and only a 1/2 block away from work. I somehow was able to keep up with all the Irish kids that were in town for the summer. I could go one for one with them with any drink (except Guinness. That stuff is REALLY thick). I was even told I had become an honorary Irish lassie ( I even learned most of the Irish pub songs that they sang). I tell you all this to explain that after 15 years, loosing more than 1/2 my stomach, and a lot of weight I for some reason thought I could still drink like a fish. Never mind the fact that I haven't drank in almost a year (except for an occasional glass of wine or a night cap).
 
So, we go into a local bar and order two drinks. I got a L.I.T (long island iced tea) as I have always enjoyed them when they are done well. As I drank my drink and did some catching up with my friend, I could feel the effects of the liquor seeping into my blood. I won't lie, I enjoyed it. Paying less to feel this way was great (before anyone freaks, I don't plan to go out drinking on a regular basis......BUT....it was nice to go out and spend less money and get tipsy). This is about the time I knew the night was getting ready to change. The bartender (a little bored) asked if we wanted shots. "Are you buying them for us?" I asked. Of course he wasn't but after talking it over with Cat, we decided, "Hey, why not"? Now as I explained already, I haven't seen Cat for a long time and we needed to go on "a tear". Patron it was. Lick. Slam. Suck. OHHHHH how smooth. Now, from that moment on, the night began to just blend together. I know I played pool...and lost. (wonder why!!!) The drinks went down easier than I ever remember them going down and I have to admit, I was enjoying myself. Through it all, I never felt “drunk”. I mostly felt tipsy and then I would feel mostly sober....then tipsy again...and so on and so forth. I never thought anything about it as I was having fun and enjoying being out and about...the alcohol was just an added positive.
 
Then, we decided to go to another bar only a block or two away. Now, you have to understand that drinking and feeling tipsy was a whole new experience to me. I would go from being (or should I say feeling) sober then in just a few moments, I would be “footloose and fancy free”. The back and forth wold happen so fast, it wouldn't make any sense but to be honest, I wasn’t trying to make sense out it as I really didn’t care.. So, when we left to go to the other bar, I REALLY thought I was sober...that is until the curb jumped up and tripped me. I know it grew at least a foot with out telling me. There is no way a sober gal, like myself, could have missed that curb. Then, as always, I did my thing. I fell. I fell hard...and I fell fast. My knee was the only thing between my face and the pavement and because of that it was all scrapped up. Even my hands had stones imbedded in them, and I am sure I messed up my back just a little more than it was. It was such a hard fall that even the person driving passed stopped to make sure I was alright. Poor Cat, was so concerned, and all I could say was, "Really, I had to fall TONIGHT?" LOL...then it happened. I felt DRUNK. I collected myself, raised myself up from the ground, dusted off my knees and hands and tried to focus on the person only a foot away from me. Needless to say, it took awhile to focus....mostly because my glasses went flying off my face were now in Cat’s hands. Not seeing well is only intensified when your half blind. LOL
 
Once I put on my glasses, Cat and I began the walk (she walked I stumbled) to the other bar. Then it hit me when we were almost there. I was sober. It was like I hadn’t had a drink at all. How was this even possible? So, I did what any sober person of sound mind and body would do....I ordered a drink. LOL As I was sipping on my drink, we decided to get something to eat. I also figured that maybe getting a little food in my tiny stomach may help....it didn’t. I still went back and forth from sober and drunk but now it was happening faster than I can even begin to describe.
 
After finishing up there, it was time to get home. Yes, we were safe about it and no, we didn't just wait for me to "feel sober".. I thought my husband would find my stories funny...and he did when I told them to him sober. But BAM, next thing you know I’m drunk again. This of course caused an argument. Now, I should be more honest. My lack of knowing when to just keep my mouth shut and go to bed is what caused the argument....nothing else. But for some reason I felt it would be a great idea to go for a walk. So I walked out the door and made it down three steps and then THUMP....yes, that’s right, I fell down the steps. I figured this would be a good time to go back inside with my head down and my tail between my legs. Once I did that and listened to my husband give me a very short lecture, I took my Tylenol and went to bed. When I awoke the next morning, I remembered why it was that I no longer drink like I am still in college and then I then looked at my knee. I should say I felt my knee...then I looked at it. Yep, it was bad. It was all scrapped up and swollen. It was so stiff that I was unable to walk down the steps of my condo to get to the pool. I felt like a total gimp having to take the elevator because I was sloppy drunk...or should I say a sloppy sober one minute, drunk the other person? Anyway, .I did get the to pool and worked it out. I had to as the day after my Irish drinking reunion, I had my 20th H.S. reunion (more on that tomorrow) and I figured I would have to be able to walk that night for it. It worked. I got my knee working (and ended up hurting my shin...not sure how), and I was ready to face all the people from H.S....or at least as ready as I'd ever be. Funny thing is, I was more upset to realize that I was no longer Irish!!! Apparently when they took my stomach, the doctors also took my Irish drinking crown as well. Needless to say, lesson learned. Funny thing is, I am sure it won’t be the first or the last lesson I learn after having this surgery....I mean it’s only been three months. But to be honest, this lesson was a fun one to learn...up to the point I fell down...no, that didn't damper the mood.....it was fun until I woke up the next day hung over. LOL

So tomorrow I start my preop diet. I am scared this will be the hardest thing I've ever done. I am determined and I want and need this so bad. My surgery is in 2 weeks I am nervous but am ready to start a new life for my family and I. Here goes...............

i had a lot of trouble with the pre op diet on days 3 and 4 but i have to say the last 2 days have not been bad at all.....it is getting a little easier. i'm gettin kinda nervous since my surgery is a week from today, and god knows what i do when i stress-EAT! but i went shopping with my mom today and bought few things that are 1-2 sizes smaller than my current size, so im gonna keep them in sight as a reminder to STICK WITH IT!!!!

You have to admit we have been through some funny stuff. There are all kinds of indignities to being overweight. But the stuff we have gone through in our VSG journey - all in the name of beauty - are above and beyond the norm.
 
I will do an entire post on the rope-down-the-nose test, but that was one of the weirdest things I have ever had to do. And I am convinced that the doctor knew what he was doing when he picked a cute, incredibly personable young lady for that job. 'Cause I'll tell you one thing, if she was not sweet, funny and personable, I would have strangled her with my slime covered nose rope. BLECH.
 
Or when the nurse, in getting me up to walk around the hospital floor at 10:30 at night was having to fix my gown. I do not know what she was doing back there but (no pun intended) it seemed to take a long time and my fanny was cold.
 
So, I will post here, as I am not sure that my silly humor is always appreciated by unsuspecting readers when I reply on the various forums.

3 weeks left omg it's going by fast. I am starting to get a little nervous about going to Mexico. I've done all my research and have chosen a great DR. but it's still scary. I'm trying to think only about the positive changes that are to come in my future. Start my preop diet in a week. 8/7/12 here I come!!!!!

Ok, I was sleeved Wednesday June 20th.
 
IF I could have found Marty and Doc on June the 21st, I would have figured out how to power the 1.21 jigawatts the flux capacitor needed and would have time traveled back 48 hours and RAN LIKE HELL (as much as a fat chick can) in my UGLY shoes AWAY from the hospital.
 
As it was, I didn't find them and here I am................so very glad I couldn't.
 
Back to Wednesday.....
 
My surgery was scheduled for 12, so I was my usual self until the surgeon's office called saying I'd neglected to make my final payment arrangements........so we rushed out the door to pay the surgeon and on to the hospital. Hey, surgeons don't work for free. They got mouths to feed and I asked him to do this to me. I just forgot about final payments, that's all. It's all good.
 
So, I get to the hospital, anticipating a 2 hour wait when I get the call from the OR nurse......as we are parking, saying they are ahead of schedule today and let's do this.
 
I'm high on emotion.....I STRUT my 255 pound self into pre-op (dressed in jeans and leopard print top with marvelous brown/gold flip flops), complete with little twirlie at the end and say "I'm here, let's get this thing on!"........
 
5 hours later.......
 
I have a NEW, EXCITED, EXUBERANT nurse ( I am a RN 25 years in practice) in my face telling me I have to get up and walk - (and she's calling me dear and sweetie. Those who know me realize I am dear to only those who love me and I am never ever described as sweet). I'm trying to figure out where I am and this very excited, young, so-happy-to-be-here chickie won't get outta my face!!!! Then, the radiology transport person arrives telling me I've got to get up, into a wheelchair, go to radiology to have an contrast upper GI to be sure the sleeve isn't leaking. I finally figured out I was in a room.....a very small room with no sofa. I say "No" and youngster tells me "You HAVE to!!" I was saying no to this impossibly small room with no sofa.......not her fault......she couldn't read my drug deluded mind. So, Miss Energetic is in my face telling me to get up, the radiology transport looks confused and I say..........to Miss Thing......"You have got to STOP TALKING to me and get outta my way. HE'S here (indicating the hubby)" Once she got the point to shut up.........I was up.......in the chair.......to radiology.......swallowed 1 swallow of the contrast, got a good picture.........the ALL IS CLEAR.......and back to my room.
 
The night shift nurse was awesome!! A grown up nurse. Thank GOD. I did get up.......all thru the night walking because this isn't my first rodeo. I've had a C-section and a total vaginal hysterectomy. The key to overcoming any surgery is walking.....soon and often. If you have to have pain medication to do it, fine ask for it and as soon as the pain is at a point you can stand and shuffle your feet.........get to shuffling........and shuffle I did - 4 times on night shift........humming to myself "every day I'm shufflin, shufflin"
 
Later on in the shift, I asked if CUTIE PIE was back in the AM because I was requesting another nurse. The old wise one just chuckled and said......."I'd already figured that out and it is handled. You wont' have to work with her." I was so grateful!!!!
 
So, the only other thing that stunk was.......I was unable to urinate post surgery. It happens sometimes. The body and mind wake up from the anesthesia and the bladder is still sleeping.......thankfully, I don't wet the bed in my sleep.......but this was to the extreme. So, my urethra became a 4 lane highway with all the frequent catheterizations to drain my sleepy, lazy bladder. Finally, about 48 hours post procedure, the bladder woke up and I got to come home!!!!
 
What if my bladder had stayed on vacation? Well, the doctors's plan was I'd just learn to self-cath and head on home until it woke up. One doctor, a urologist friend of mine, laughingly said....."it's like putting a tampoon in, the first hole south of the pole." Well the last time I put a tampoon in, my guts had not just been re-configured!!!!
 
I haven't had a hard time with nausea.....and I've figured out that painful, cramping twisting motion in my gut means I'm hungry and should eat. I've developed a love for chicken broth and apple sauce. I had yogurt this morning. I've also figured out, gotta eat very slow. 2 teaspoons, pain, means stop and come back in about 5 minutes. I'm mixing UnJury Protein in my Crystal Light to get the protein needs met and sipping, sipping......all the time.
 
Today, 5 days out........I am happy I didn't go "Back In Time"......think I've spent enough time there as it is.

After seemingly forever going up and down The. Same. Three. Pounds. I have FINALLY dipped down into the 220's! I don't remember how long its been since I've weighed this...maybe freshman year in college? Seriously, I'm so happy I could cry! Onederland, here I come!

I am just so ready to do this! July 17th seems like forever away and I just wish it would come sooner!!! Summer is officially here, not that the flippen weather in Washington is wonderful or anything, but its Summer! I feel HUGE and I want to wear shorts and tanks, I refuse to go out and buy new clothes. People must wonder why I always wear the same thing lol I refuse to buy one more size X anything! So im stuck wearing the same thing over and over lol in less then 4 weeks I will be in shrink mode and it will no longer matter at least I will be smaller towards the later half of Summer.. find something postive..

It has been a while since i was on here last.. I would like to just give an update on my progress. Have my surgery 10-31-11 and as of today i have lost 79lbs. Putting my down to 176lbs. My goals is 145lbs to 140lbs. So i really hope to be there by my one year mark. This was the best thing i could have done for my self i would never take it back..

So I only have five more days until my surgery if you don't count today or the day of surgery Yesterday I did all my pre-op testing at the hospital Lutheran Medical Center. I am sad to say the I have succumb to the "Last Meal Syndrome" I have gained 10lbs since my last MD visit 7 weeks ago. So instead of losing weight like every normal person does I have gained. (Story of my life). What is wrong with me? Why do I have this self sabotage mentality? My pre-op diet isn't even bad. Its not a liquid diet, just low fat and I still couldn't stick to it faithfully. Ugh, so disgusted with myself. I am going to start my own liquid diet tomorrow hoping to drop at least 5 lbs before surgery.
 
Maybe instead of the Gastric Sleeve I should get a lobotomy because I think that may help more...lol...
 
Please keep me in your prayers. Pray that I can keep my damn mouth shut for the next 5 days oh and that I don't die on the table.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, he'll sleeve me tomorrow.....it's only a day away!!!
 
Yes, I love music.....and shoes. Funny how those 2 things seem to be the back drop of my life and memories.
 
But for tomorrow, I am as ready as I'll be.
 
My mother asked yesterday if I was afraid, if I was prepared. My answer was, " I don't have time to be afraid or prepare. Are you kidding me?" And that is so true. Between work (I really do love my job), my 4 kids, and 1 very pregnant daughter in law.....I am a busy girl. I laughingly told my mom "I'm really kinda looking forward to the 24-48 hours of peace and quiet!"......she just sighed.
 
My sister calls today (she is the youngest). She is excited for me to have the WLS so she can see how much trouble it is. Honestly, why am I the guinea pig? I'm the oldest, that's why. She's obese too and knows something has gotta give.......she's just hoping that something won't be her knee!
 
Weight, really is a ghost......haunts every aspect of your life.
 
My kiddos are pretty pumped. The father's day card I gave their father depicted a man dressed in tails with a shapely woman in a red dress on his arm (wearing great, black, high high heels). They all laughed and said,"Dad, that'll be you and mom next year!' I laughed too cause I was thinking the same thing!!
 
I don't have any wisdom, poignant thought at this point.
 
I'm too busy day dreaming about really great heels.................

I told myself I was going to document from the start of my pre-op diet through my journey (I hate that word ... it sounds fruity, but it is what it is. Moving on!) however, I apparently am still a procrastinator. Whoops. Well one bad habit at a time I suppose. I'll tackle weight loss first and procrastination ... eventually! So, I'll spend a bit of time catching up. Now I am under no assumption that anyone is really going to read my ramblings, but I wanted to do this for me so I can look back in a year, roll my eyes at the kind of dork I am, and be happy about how far I've come.
 
 
Pre-Op - the dreaded 14 day liquid diet (aka What do you mean I can't drink tequila, it's a liquid!!)
 
Before I started my 14 day liquid diet, I had to wrap my brain around what craziness I was about to put my body through. Part of me was quite thrilled because it made deciding what to have for each meal very easy and it was very easy on dishes and the grocery budget. However, there was another part of me that was cussin like a sailor .... that was the part that didn't want to give up pizza, or pasta, or margaritas. So, I duct taped the mouth of the inner voice that wanted the junk food and tossed her in a closet .... I had me some work to do!
 
My pre-op diet consisted of 2 daily Bariatric Advantage shakes, and I could also have SF pudding, broth, SF jello, SF popsicles, SF creamsicles, Gatorade, SF applesauce and light yogurt. Wow, my doctor just recommended me the diet of a 6 year old. So, in I went on day 1 and I have to admit it was not bad at all. The worst part about it so far had seemed just making sure I was prepared to take all my liquid goodies to work since I had to eat something every 2 hours, in addition to the 64 oz. of water I had to consume. Fortunately I found a little trick for myself on the water, in that the Gatorade bottles I had were also 64 oz, so once I had drained one of those, I kept filling up my daily water in one of the Gatorade bottles so I knew if I had my minimum in. It really helped me make sure I was getting my water in.
 
I have to say, I did pretty darn good .... until about day 4 when I realized I wasn't have anything salty, and my body was starting to scream for it. I'd had broth, but it wasn't really cutting it at all. This is when I discovered the magic that is frozen green beans! My NUT had told me my snacks had to be no more than 100 calories per serving and these were 20 per serving, so score! I was able to add some greenies to my diet with a dash of sea salt and I got the salty taste from time to time that I was craving.
 
Something that stood out to me during this phase was the sheer volume of food advertisements that were on TV -- and even weirder to me, I didn't want any of it. It surprised me that I actually had no cravings at all when I saw or smelled food. However, back to my original point - there is a ridiculous amount of advertising on TV not only for food, but for food that is utter crap. It's no wonder so many people are rockin weight problems - it's plastered all over the television! I can't say that I recall more than 1 or 2 for something healthy ... which is really scary.
 
I finally came to the last day of my pre-op diet though - I had survived!!
 
Day of Surgery - June 13th, 2012
 
My surgery was scheduled to begin at 7:30 am and I had to be at the hospital at 5:30 am. My procedure would be performed by Dr. Christopher Hart of Atlanta Bariatric and I would be in Emory Hospital, Johns Creek, GA. I wasn't one bit nervous that day because of the absolutely amazing job Dr. Hart and his staff did in preparing me for that day, as well as all the reading and research I had done on the VSG forums. I was ready !! I got my IV, said my bye's to my mom, and went down to the holding room where I met my OR nurses who were also fantastic. One of them had sleeve surgery a few years prior with Dr. Hart and had nothing but awesome things to say, which made me feel even better. I was surrounded by medical professionals who had nothing but the highest regard for the guy who was going to take out 70% of my tummy - totally ready for this!! I'm very fuzzy from the point they gave me the "i don't give a rats behind about anything drug" and wheeled me into the OR until some point I was waking up in my room. I vaguely remember going into the OR, seeing a nurse with cats on her scrubs, a few brief flashes in recovery, but that's about it. When I woke up, I thought I was going to be in pain ... but none. Cool !! I spent quite a few hours drifting off to little mini naps and every time I woke up, no pain, no nausea.
 
They did get me up for my first walk after 4 hours of getting into my room and I was ready for a whole world of pain the second I got up. Nope, nothing. I swear, I actually checked to make sure I had the incisions because it did not feel like anything had been done - certainly, I had to have some pain, right? I had the incisions, but no pain and they assured me that they did in fact do the surgery and it was very successful. I wasn't up for eating much of anything that day, even though they brought me my trays of clear liquids. I did manage a popsicle, some broth and a bit of water but I was mostly sleepy.
 
When I wasn't sleeping though, I was finding I wanted to get up and try walking. I was walking about every 2.5 - 3 hours and I was really surprised at how well I was doing. By morning, I was slowly consuming broth and jello and water. Holy crap, still no pain! I had been asking for my pain meds of course, but it was usually ever 4.5 hours or so, just to see if I would experience any. I had some minor discomfort, but nothing painful. Clearly, I had the best doctor ever!!! Fortunately I was cleared to go home after just an overnight stay - Dr. Hart was very pleased with my progress and I certainly was very pleased with how I was feeling. I was pretty tired and zapped of energy, but that was a pretty easy surgery all things considered.
 
I have to give mini props to the hospital though as they have their own Bariatric wing where everything is designed with the bariatric patient in mind - even the beds were pretty comfortable as far as hospital beds go! The other thing I loved about them is that they have a second bed in the room (all rooms are private) for your guest if they want to stay overnight with you, which I think is pretty darn cool considering a lot of people come from out of town for this surgery, so that saves their care giver a night in a hotel room. In short, I cannot recommend this hospital or this surgeon more - everything was stellar!!
 
As I was getting checked out, I asked the nurse when I should start taking my blood pressure meds again (assumed they had been giving them to me in hospital since all my vitals were always right on target and normal). I was a bit surprised to find out that they had been giving me nothing for my BP -- and my BP had been giving normal readings. Say what??!
 
Post Op - I'm Home!
 
I've done a lot of sleeping since I've been home since my energy has been pretty zapped the entire time, but it's been improving. One of my first calls was to my general MD to ask her about my BP medication. Even though the hospital said I could start taking it, I wanted to make sure because I was a bit scared of my BP dropping too low (think that's the first time I've ever had that thought in my life!) She of course asked me to come and I did and I about fell out of my chair when she told me that I could stop taking my 2 BP meds. Say what??!! I'm 2 days post op and I'm completely normal on my blood pressure?? Holy @#$(!!! She asked me to monitor my BP at home, journal it and come back to her in 2 weeks - if I saw my BP spike, I should only take 1/2 of 1 pill. Whoa. I'm pleased to report I'm now 6 days in and my BP is still normal. Wow, that was fast!!!
 
Overall, I've been doing pretty well at home. I did set my alarm to make sure I was walking every 4 hours still and doing my breathing exercises to keep my lungs open. On day 3 I did get the dreaded gas in my shoulder but a few Gas X strips and my walking got that out of there by the next morning, thankfully!! I'd have to say day 3 was probably the worst, just because of the gas pain in my shoulder so every time I would do my deep breathing exercises, I was getting spikes of pain in my side and in my shoulder - not a fun day!
 
I'm fortunate that my work allows me to work from home on my lap top so I started doing work on day 5. I found that I could sit in front of the computer, but not for long periods of time yet - I would get achy in the middle and tired, but I'm building up to it!
 
All in all, I would do this again in a heart beat and recommend this surgery to anyone who asked. I feel it's very important to have good support around you, know exactly what you're getting yourself into, have a plan of how you're going to execute everything, and above all - find the best surgeon you can !!!!

This is actually the first day that I've been aprehensive and scared about having the surgery. It's strange but there it is. I asked myself if I wanted to call it off. My answer to myself from my heart was that I won't live my life without. Honestly, I feel like all of this fat is burying me. I don't want to live my life in bed and that seems to be where I'm headed if I don't have the surgery. I know I'm going to have physical pain. I know that my emotions are probably going to see saw. I know that the alternative to the surgery is much worse than the pain. I expect the pain to be gone in a few weeks. I place myself in my Lord's hands; I know that the surgery is the right choice and it's just the prospect of pain that frightens me. I know that I'm not going to walk this path alone. I am thankful for God's grace.
 
Robin a friend sent me this prayer. Saying it gives me such a sense of peace. I'd like to share it:
 
Father, we come in the name of our Savior Jesus the Christ, first of all to thank you for this beautiful day that you have made that we will rejoice and be glad in. Thank you for being an all powerful, ever present, all knowing God who is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we can think or ask. Thank you also for being a God who heals and delivers. Father we ask that right now you would touch my body with your healing hands and that your healing power would be at work before during and after my surgery. We ask that you would begin to prepare my body for the upcoming surgery even now. Father, we ask that you would give me your peace, your calm, your comfort, and your assurance. We ask that you would even now begin to regulate my bodily functions so that all will be well and in working order during the procedure. We ask that you begin to prepare the surgeons, nurses, anesthesiologists, and every medical professional who will contribute to her care on Monday. Give them clarity of thought. Please bring all of the necessary medical knowledge to their remembrance so that they will know exactly what to do during my procedure. Please let my recovery be a smooth and uncomplicated one. May I be back on myfeet in no time and be ready to continue taking on the world and honoring you with my life. God, we thank you that you are a faithful God who hears and answers prayers and we’re believing for all the best for Monday. We love you and we honor you. In Jesus’ name we pray and thank you. Amen.

I thought that today was going to be a tough one. I have been dreading going back to work but had no choice since I am a single parent. So last night after spending hours doing homework and taking tests, I packed up my first lunch since 2006 (I never took lunch to work) and picked out an outfit that wasn't too big but not too small prepared for my first day back.
 
So far today has not been so bad. People ask questions about me losing weight but not really prying...yet. I kind of just ate at my desk since, I never liked eating in the building and it's too hot to sit in my car. I will have to figure out a better to do this.
 
Oh yeah and my fingers are apparently slimming down. I have a new ring on and I had to move it to my index finger which was totally unexpected. My fingers have always been chubby even when I wasn't.

Okay, so its been a rough day. Of course the first thing I want to do is sit on the couch with a glass of wine and a ton of carbs. But no, Instead I am online and reading how other people make the choices everyday to live a healthy and active lifestyle...so I have a choice. I can sit here and feel sorry for my "bad" day or I can hit the gym.
 
I had my sleeve done on 2/17/12. So far I have lost 57.8 lbs. Of course I want it to be 75 lbs...but hey its going down and that is what matters.
 
Somehow I have to learn how to control using food as my "friend" when nobody else is around. So I just downloaded a few new songs to my ipod and headed to the gym at 845pm.
 
Wish me luck!! LOL

I came home today, tired and exhausted from work. My to be brought some fried chicken home.....I ate a piece and was upset with myself from breaking down into the temptation of that oily greasy delicous piece of meat....;I instantly got up and started sewing (yes making my wedding guest gifts and loving every moment of it)....
 
 
all of the sudden I broke out with a huge giggle, which turned into hysterical laughter....realizing I ate one piece of chicken....just one...not half the bird...not twenty wingettes.....just the wing......i made a huge step...I ate....i walked away realizing that this is not what i wanted or needed....and i found something to take me away....and it was almost effortlessly.....
 
Im still grinning .....It feels wonderful to find triumph even in a mistake......

One key stroke and I lost everything I wrote! I forgot to save as I was typing. Oh well, I was just explaining how I realize that today I may be drinking my last coca-cola forever. I only drink cokes when things rub me the wrong way at work (it's the equivalent of the old 3 martini lunch for me)
 
Fortunately, this doesn't happen often. I haven't had a coke since January. Now, unless I'm going to start going through a rough patch at work I may (cross my fingers) be sleeved by my next bad day! Coke is going to be out of the question. Nursing my problems with food and drink are a thing of the past. I have to figure out satisfying ways that comfort me but that do not involve food.
 
I've done a lot of work on why I eat and recognizing how I sabotage myself but I've never been able to substitute walks, lipsticks, etc for food. Things change and I am designating this drink as my last coke no matter what. Once I have my date, I will follow every damn rule I'm given and that means no carbonation. So I might as well start now, I know I wont be perfect but I'm going to try.
 
So, I raise my can to say goodbye to Coca-Cola, we had a good run! Maybe I'll suck on a lemon next time I'm mad with the world like I did when I was a kid...

Love and respect yourself NOW and live your life and have fun TODAY! Don't "wait until you're thinner." GO..... NOW!
 
 
 
"GET ON YOUR BIKES AND RIDE!" --Freddie