Jennifur

Sorry, that last one is unaviable and i don't want to go out and come home feeling worse about myself than I already do. I might go to the bar by myself to get out -

Hey girls i'm home, I don't have anyone to go out with ... I so suck... and I need to get out of the house so desprately, I can't shut my head down, and now I realize I don't have a single friend left, ok I have a few, but 1 wants sex... not happening... 1 is going out with her hubby tonight, and 1 is just available. that is it. I actually threw up my water today. sitting in the house with nothing to do is just making me insane I'm there for margi's... but.. I would have an entire dayof calories because I would need about 10 shots to bring me down... or back up I should say. you guys are the best, thanks for listening

hi all at work..i wish I could share some of my "i am way too stressed to eat" with you all. I don't feel hungry but feel like I'm so tight I can hardly sip water...and I know it is stress. I ate pizza last week! congrats to all of you for tossing the junk. Suzanne - I was thinking about doing something too..but I guess first step for me would be hit the gym. I'm so lazy wish you were all here with me. looks like ill be spending new year alone for the 2nd year in a row :biggrin:

Morning gals thanks for your good thoughts, i don't know what i'm going to do, I medicated last night and got a little sleep. I called a head dr and left a message to try to get in, I don't have insurance that will cover it until April 1 but I don't care anymore. I just can't do it on my own. I know it is not me, but I do blame myself for so many things. My friends have bailed on me, which really just says they are not my friends, but I feel so alone right now. I just really need a friend to say lets go do something. I need to get out of the house. I hope you are all having a good day I have to check with my mom to see what she did but I have a bunch of clothes from size 14-16 that I was going to send to the green box because I'm sick of looking at them. I'll let you all know if she didn't take them. I have myself in such a state I can't eat, so Tracy - no bad food for me. I'm back down to 181 today - I guess there is a plus to not being able to keep food in me.... and not being able to even eat at this point. I'm off to find something warm to wear to work. It is freezing today

Good Morning Kat, Suzanne and Tracy thanks for having such confidence in me. I am starting to feel like I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. In the last week I have once again cleaned out closets and have lost more friends and put an end to everyone I have been dating. I am heart sick about some things that have happened, and have not slept more than an hour in days. Today seems to be the worst, could no sleep, cried most of the night and feel sick. My love for kev is that kind of love that you are truely lucky if you experience in life and it is hard to "settle" for anything that doesn't even come close to filling my heart like he does. I know if I find it again, I'll be the luckiest person in the world, but it makes me not want to settle for someone because I don't want to be alone anymore. anyway, that is my night from hell.... I guess the only thing I'm getting out of all this right now is realizing what I want from life and where I want to be. Now I just need to figure out how to get there

Hi guys merry christmas late. sorry, I get very depressed during the holidays and this year is taking every ounce of my energy to be up for the kids. I spent most of today crashed, either laying around or crying Why can't I just be happy. guess it is time to cler out some old shit and open my world to the new. Finding out again who my friends are!... just makes xmas even better for me xoxoxo love you all

Good Morning all Kat... mmmmmmmmmmm fudge. I would eat it all! Laura -10lbs! how the heck did you do that? Tracy - put the turkey in the sink and fill it with room temp water. ok well off to work, so glad i'm off tomorrow... sucks i don't get paid... but ... oh well, i'm exhausted... mentally and physially xoxoxoxo ho ho ho

Hey ya'll I am so tired i can't stand myself Tracy - love your new pic... you are so cute I have not pooped in 3 days, i'm a mess going to take some drugs and hit the sack night

Morning all I'm just quick checking in... will be back again later Pam - Welcome Thank you my special friends for my Christmas Cards! I'm slacking, never got mine out...that is sad, first time in 10 years Well, Party was a hute success, but have been dealing with furnace problems since Friday am, just got heat back and working last night. Thank goodness I have 2 gas fireplaces. Ok off to get dressed and get kids up... off to work! xoxoxoxo

hey ya'll quick check in... running late love and miss ya'll, i'll be back tomorrow

Morning ya'll quiet yesterday Kat - that is CRAZY! just wanted to quick check in, my computer is chugging along this am so now I only have 10 mins to get dressed and hair done.LOL had a 3pm meeting yest so I ended up working until 5:30 because I had to finish a presentation for a 10am meeting! Got it done and hopefully my boss was impressed, I usually leave at 3:30 Well, off for another day, I'm leaving on time today. Kev gave me some money for xmas yesterday, I have so much stress lifted. I don't know what happened for the 2 months we didn't talk, but I know that for the first time in years, he is taking care of me and the kids like he should, and has admitted and apologizes constantly for being the way he was. Anyway, I'm going to finish my shopping up this week... whew!

Good Morning all drinking my coffee. I don't know what I do to my body, I went from 192 at Dr's on Thursday to 184 today. I hope that I keep going if nothing else. Here is the ham & cheese soup. Know that I make lots of alterations. I use boiled ham and cut into very small chunks (i don't have time to mince) and I dont use tofu, I use 10 oz of ham. I also don't use velveta, I use 1 1/2 pkgs of 2% shredded cheese, sometimes mexican so some seasoning and i always saute my veggies with spices mixed in to bring out ultimate flavor and add some cyanne to the mix. Ham & Cheese Soup This is a hearty and delicious soup. If you prefer use grated Cheddar or Jack cheese in place of the Velveeta. Taste before salting. 2 Tablespoons butter 1/2 cup carrots, chopped 1/4 cup onion, chopped 2 Tablespoons flour 1 teaspoon paprika 1 teaspoon dry mustard 6 cups chicken broth 12 ounces Velveeta Light, shredded 8 ounces lite firm silken tofu, diced 10 ounces deviled ham (2 cans) 1 cup sour cream, light salt and pepper, to taste 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese parsley, for garnish In a large Dutch Oven over medium heat butter. Add carrots and onion and saute until soft and translucent. Stir in flour, paprika and dry mustard using a whisk. Cook for 2 minutes then slowly add the chicken broth whisking to prevent lumps. When soup is thickened add shredded Velveeta, the diced tofu and ham. Cook on a low simmer for 20 minutes stirring occasionally. Remove from heat and stir in sour cream. Add salt and pepper to taste and serve garnished with a sprinkle of Parmesean cheese and a sprig of parsley. Servings: 10 Notes: Per 1-cup serving: 264 calories. 19 grams protein, 15 grams fat (8 saturated) and 12 grams carbohydrate. Rich in Vitamin A and one serving has 53mg of calcuim Oh, I have made this so much I don't even measure anymore. I just made a seafood chowder. 1 can cream potato soup, instead of water used veg. broth. any kind of seafood I have in the house. Tuna is what I just used and just added flakes. I've used tuna, shrimp, scallops, crab.... what ever is in the freezer. and I add some white cheddar cheese (2%)... and done. Sometimes I make it in 2 containers 1/2 of each except seafood and cheese for lots of protein, mix in continer, and microwave for a min or 2, no pre cooking and great lunch or quick dinner. Tracy - you have to get that fixed! this has been way too long. Check in ok well, i guess i should dry my hair, since I have to leave in 30 mins. At least i'm dressed and have my gym bag packed. I'm going to try to add another 5 mins to my sad excuse of a cardio workout, and do weights on my upper body today. xoxoxo to all

Quick good morning Hope you all have a good day. I AM going to the gym on my way home today. Kat, I'll take it... I am a great cook and that is how I work... a little of this and a little of that... so estimates would b great I'll alter it anyway. LOL That is what I do with the ham and cheese soup... which i might make this week. ok got to run... i'll post big when I get in xoxoxo SUZANNE - super good thoughts for you today.

Kat you are funny.... but that Soup sounds great! I am spent, finishing up the last of my laundry, was a cleaning fool this weekend, ok scrubbing fool. I started at the top and worked my way down. 1800 sq ft of scrubbing. Have to finish laundry room and wash the kitchen floor, buso nice and clean. Ready for party here friday night... except for food. so... needless to say, i'm exhausted and going to relax with a fire and maybe have a drink. Liquids turned to cream liquids, broth is bloating me for some reason. So just had broc, cheese, chicken soup... chicken spread so nice and soft and mushy. I'm going to make seafood chowder to take to work to get lots of Protein, and a shake for Breakfast. OK Well have a great night all, i'm going to check my shipment status of dd's new cell she is getting for xmas and shut down for the night. xoxoxo i'll see ya'll when i get home from work tomorrow

Morning all Up early, not sleeping well, have a ton of stress that I can't even mention but I'll survive, always do. So I'm up drinking coffee, and have only lost 4lbs of bloat or whatever. My head is not in the place of my last fill, I'll be lucky if I survive 3 day of Clear liquids because I'm in a snit and want to cover with food. So that is my story, probably doesn't help that I was looking for food to make for my party next week... Anyone have good plans for the day? I am cleaning, and cleaning. Got my room done, moved furniture and all yesterday. DS cleaned his room and DD went shopping with her best friend and her sister, she finished my shopping except for my mom and dad. I'm going to get my mom a dinner and a movie gift card and she is done. DD is going to go with her, mom has wanted to take dd to dinner and a movie so she wil be so happy. And last thing for dad to pick up is one of the digital frames. and we are done. I'm wrapping what I have tonight ... santa stuff is wrapped and hidden in my closet...on a serious budget but what we have will be nice. Just called dad and want to do xmas eve with him because it is always crazy on xmas morning, ok they don't get here until noon, we are all tired and on overload. Hope stepmom agrees. Ok i'm off for another cup of coffee.

come on girls!!!!

Tracy Do I have to get on a plane and come personally kick your ass! First... you know what it would take for me to do that... so you would be in serious trouble! But seriously, I just gained 10lbs on dr scale in a month, and i could beat myself up and get depressed or accept it and fix it. I could not go to the gym because Its been 2+ weeks so why go back now. Today is a new day! Forgive so you can get yourself back in the game. Of all people I know you can do it. You are a strong woman! You have inspired me beyond belief... so please... be strong, you can do it! get on a plane after the holidays and come spend a weekend with me! In the freezing cold ... we can drink wine(or stuff) in front of a fire and have a great girls weekend.... bring Macy... remember I have a 6 year old and a 15 year old sitter.... come when you can get a super cheap flight and the rest of it is on me! MUAH ...

Laura those are all my favorite foods, I grew up on, except I didn't appreciate them when I was young. My aunt use to make homemade sausage to go with all that. Now I miss it How do you do perogies in the oven? Please share..... Because of my fill we are doing simple xmas, but easter we are going to make our traditional xmas food.

Hola I am now awake, had coffee and a cup of broth, was going to go to the gym, but since everything is now going right through me... I think I'll go tomorrow when my stomach settles down. My sweet dd just informed me that i am much flatter than I was all week. I felt huge and she was trying to be nice and sugarcoat it for me. I told her I knew I looked like crap so please be honest. LOL Off to deposit my check and pay some bills, and clean the house... to get ready for my xmas party on Friday night... can't wait they just started making pineapple vodka... that is going to make some mean jello shots

OMG I just did a huge post and lost it good morning all super frustrated now....

Hey ya'll sorry been mia, just down right exhausted and a little stressed about holidays. I'm still all backed up but 4 dose of miralax are starting to work today, but I think the last 24 hrs of chicken broth are helping. I got my fill, was back down to 1.2 and now back to 1.5. I'm going to do liquids as long as possible, going to shoot for 10 days and see how that goes. Have not been to the gym in almost 2 weeks, so feeling lazy and back up to 189. YIKES 7lbs. So I pray this fill works. 160 and holding, and we start really pushing for tt. Nutrition is going to get me going on that. Anyway, I apologize for being completely mia, and not reading what is going on with everyone. I'm so sorry, but I will make sure i get on every day. We cannot use computers at work for anything personal, they know... so can't pop on, and I leave at 6:15 Hope all is going well, miss you all, i'm here finishing my shopping on line.

good morning all well Suzanne, i'm glad you didn't get any snow, but it is here I'm leaving for work 30 minutes early today, good thing... kids have a snow day o I don't need to get them up. soup... mmmmmmmmm I go for a fill tomorrow, I can't wait, I'm out of control, plus... horrible pains I can't get rid of, I have not gone to the bathroom in 5.. yes I said 5 days, I am up a few lbs but I can feel it is all gas and bloat, I'm sure I'm going to get yelled at but what can I do? I jus want this pain to go away. so are you all ready for xmas? I still have a few things to get but since I am $400 short on my support this month... I'm ready to take the bridge. I had a perfect budget that allowed me to do it all, and well, $400 is a lot. Kev says he is going to help with presents this week, we will see, not going to hold my breath. well, off to get changed and head out to work. I hear the plows on my side street so might need to snow blow my way out. later all xoxoxo

Morning all off to get ready, wanted to wish you all a good day Suzanne, keep the snow... please? We are going to get some tonight into tomorrow morning, so I'm going to have to leave at 6am. YUCK Have a great day all xoxoxo

Morning all Party was good, I'm exhausted and realized yesterday I have not taken a happy pill in 3 days. Out of site out of mind with me, well, i went to take one and that was all that was left. Anyway, cried most of yesterday for no real reason. Ok maybe a little reason, feel fat and have family court next week. I can't wait for my fill on Thursday. I can eat and I am because I'm emotional eating ok have a good day, i'll check in later. going to get ready to go and get kids up

Good Morning all Suzanne - you are in my prayers Kat - how is Rick? How are you doing? you getting ready for the holidays with grand kids? I bet you miss the money from work, but glad to be home speinding time with them again. Tracy - that is crazy... snow! what you up to this weekend? anything exciting. Laura - i watched a thing on Fox news the other day that they are saying they were all wrong with global warming. Did you know that the earth is moving, magnetic north has moved because of this and the north pole is not at magnetic north anymore, (taken a very long time to do this) but that is part of the weather changes. I learned this in my Surveying class a couple years ago. Makes sense when all that info was presented. And kind of goes with what you say about the weather changes of the North and South. On that happy note, we have had crazy weather, 30 one day, 55 the next. Going to get snow today, and inch or 2, not much. I am not ready for the big noreasters we get here! Laura - good luck to you on your exam, I'll send good thoughts. I am very simple and use to love candle lights in the windows. I'm getting the rest of my living room done today and will take pics and post them, I have a few white with blue on my porch and wrapped around my deck and that is it, very simple but nice. Cindy - I hear you, I have been running all week, I'm down right exhausted, hit the pillow and sleeping in less than a minute! Off to the gym, tan, get my nails done. Tonight is the work holiday party and I'm going to be social.