Jennifur

How about the last 20-25 lol I have to, I can't stand myself and really not going to be able to hav tt until next fall at earliest, working hard on getting a job I am finding it more because I want to run that 5k in May and running out of time to train. Hey if the BL PEOPLE can do it so can I right? Night all, took pain pill and I'm losing it quickly

Suzanne I am so ready for the pool. Mine has so much wet heavy snow I'm going to try to get some off tomorrow. Lazy weekend, going to put Dylan to bed and soak in nthe tub I'm meeting my sister at the gym, I'm back on track, she was bigger than me and is down to a size 8 from 22 in less than a year. she claims it is because low rise and she has no leggs or butt, but still it took me almost 3 years to get from a 24 to 12 and I worked my ass off at times for that. I need to get my last 20 off NOW

Hey all I am dealing better - I do have bad days when a lot comes to surface, but I'm dealing with them. I know what I need to do As for migraines, I use to get them horribly and they went away and now that I think of it, I get them back with lots of quick weight loss. Mine are also sinus related so when my allergies are borderline and I can't quite put my finger on it, I know a few days of allergy meds will help control them, but I get them to the point of huggin the toilet for days. Kat, Darien Lake in Buffalo has a great mega ticket out there, Saratoga Has one but only 3 shows on there right now for $150 - I'm not sure what I'm going to do, hold out. I so want to take the Zac Brown Band Cruise but with no tax return, there is no way that is going to happen. They are going to be in NYC but I don't want to deal with that, but they are the concert I'm on a mission to see this year. Sugarland was amazing and is on the Saratoga tour, Brad Paisly and Darrius are another. Well, I don't know what the scale says, but I know I have been living on soup and broth for 2 days and still have a hard time with stuff in soup. It hurts so badly. The damage is done and i need to make it go away, but don't have the will power to do it right now ugh... so I have a guy I dated for a week, proposed to me!? COME ON.... SERIOUSLY I tell him I am happy with someone else and he doesn't care. I am so cold to him and it doesn't even matter. Thats why I like Billy - he is just there for me. Anyway, off to do something, not sure what, maybe snowblow, my back is killing me from shoveling wet heavy snow so i'm going to be a cheater today. Hope all is well!

Thanks Kat that is pretty much just how I feel right now. I'm making things right what I feel I need to do in my heart. Billy was a big one. He is scared of relationship too, and I know he cares much more than he wants me to know. I can tell by the light that shines when I walk in, and for that I know i hurt him last week, but we had a nice talk Monday night and I think we are good. I left him alone and just called to say goodnight last night and he was just happy to hear from me. So hurting him in any way did not make me feel good. So I am going to just continue to follow my heart and try to forgive Kevin for what he did to me. He is going to have to live with himself and I don't have to do it anymore. Good luck with the boots! I've got a ton of paperwork to do tonight for court and then going to apply for the financial assistance for the Y so I can keep my membership. My mom is buying me my elliptical with her tax return so I should have it in 2 weeks, so I cleaned out the room it is going in and going to paint in there so once it is in I won't have to move it. I had a bite of breakfast and threw up very badly so I have had 2 sf pops and a cup of broth. Going to stick to liquids for the next week to get it undercontrol. It hurts so much to be sick like that Lets hope to get the loss rolling again, I was up7lbs this week

Good Morning all Kat - You really have a huge heart, you are always making sure everyone is taken care of. Now, saying that, I love pulled pork and baked beans. LOL I have not seen that show but I'm glad you think of me. I am done, I have a friend coming to frame out my laundry room for me, I just don't have it in me. Michelle, I have trazadone to sleep, I should take some, I have been a mess all week Suzanne, wow it is still that cold there. It has been 38 here and we are getting our entire winter's worth of snow this week so it is wet heavy yucky snow. Tracy - I'm here and alive, all is well, I think I might have to take out my grill this week I have managed to screw something else up... it is fixable, but I messed things up with Billy, I am working on fixing it and as much as i hate to admit it. I do like him, but it is just a good speed for me. We have just enough of each other and just enough space and can not ee each other and yet he is just so happy to see or hear from me. We keep saying not in a relationship and it works. Everyone knows we really are together as much as we both can be, both of us getting out of long long relationships. Anyway, he makes me happy and is taking really good care of me, and is not touchy feely when we are out together, and Kev Destroyed me, I am at a point where I don't want anyone touching me at all. So this is a good thing, and if Billy and I don't work, we will always have a special thing and I would want his blessing on whatever path I take, as he knows no matter what he has mine as long as there are no lies and he is happy. Stupid right? I made a mends with my neighbor. I've tried and tried randomly texting her, but yesterday with the snow it all worked out, we actually went to dinner last night and just talked and it is all good so that has been where I'm at in life. Just trying to make things right I may have had hurt in my heart the last year or so with Kev but I have total anger and hate towards him and it is eating me alive. I am not an angry person and I know that is not the seeds I should be planting. I am working hard to make things right and plant good seeds because I want things to be different for the next part of my life. Well, off to make something to eat. Going to try healthy, I'm pms and bloated and have been throwing up so have gained a few from self distruction but know it is bloat I'm heaing back to the gym for real this time... swear I feel lazy

Good Morning all just up drinking my coffee. Suzanne - congrats! that is a great feeling isn't it? going to snow for the rest of the week here, which stinks, big storm on Friday and I have to go to court. I can't wait until this is over with, he is such an ass and is not in my/our lives at all, and somehow still seems to haunt us, and control me. I wish my glasses were in so I can see.

Hey ya'll Tracy - did you get my card? xoxoxo Hope you had a good birthday weekend. Thisng have been kind of out of control lately - long drawn out story not worth talking about, just been kind of crazy and I honestly can't see past the tip of my nose so its been really hard for me to use my computer. I hope my glasses come in soon, they said 7-10 days, tomorrow will be a week. Hope they get here. My eyes hurt so badly trying to focus I wish I Could pry them out of my head. just picked up my daughter and she is eating lunch and then to the dentist to adjust her braces. I have family court with the dick head on Friday morning, so not really looking forward to this week

Morning all Suzanne - so if no changes that is good right? I'm up getting ready to put Dylan on the bus and shower, going to take care of some more business today

I'm going back to calorie counting again, been a little out of control Good Morning all Just getting myself ready to jump in the shower. Made an eye appointment for this morning, I lost my glasses and they are almost 2 years old anyway, I'm just a mess and can't see far away at all anymore. I'm going to splurge and get a pr of transitions if I find glasses I LOVE that are on sale, or a pr of sunglasses for $50 less if I don't love the frames, my eyes are so sensitive to light I hope to get transitions so I don't have to keep swapping them out. Thats about it. Hope ya'll have a great day Tracy - where are you?

Good Morning all Kat - thank you, your words mean more to me than you will ever know I am still really besides myself but it lit a fire under me and it has closed another huge door behind me. I hired an attorney on Friday to go to family court with me next week. I don't know if I mentioned but besides kev's cold horrible shit he pulled xmas eve, he has decided that he should not have to pay support for his children and is taking me back to court. Thank god my cousin reminded me during my slight nervous breakdown that she use to date a family court attorney and to call him and he would take care of me. Well he called me back Friday, he is going to waive his retainer fee and charge me his old rates. Anyway, it is out with the old and in with the new and i am planting new seeds in life for them to grow and blossom. I think i only have 1 old debt left from my old and getting everything together now. I mailed out 12 resumes on Thursday so I anticipate some phone calls this week and to be working by March 1! I just had a long phone call in the middle of this post and I lost my thoughts Kat, hope you had a good ride. Love to you all, you are the best TRACY - send me your new address please... and Happy Anniversary!

just wanted to stop in and say hi and thank you As much as it sucks, at least it is done, I know in the long run it will be worth it. Just wish I got my mail. The killer is how could they not realize they were getting my mail back, and I did have a forward on my post office when it closed. Oh well, I'm off to shower, I'm just mentally done, but getting better. Starting off the year clearing up all the old crap and I know this is so it can all be in the past and I can start new and be happy

hi just had to share with someone... so here goes my FL trip has been cancelled. My big student loan was apprently in default and not included in the ones I deferred and they had my old po box so i never received notification they were taking my refund, so ... the 8k i was getting that was going to be a nest egg, vacation, and catch up on life is not happening. I will only owe 700 after they take that, which i guess is good, but righ now, i feel like my world is crashing. Kev is not paying me support, taking me back to court to reduce and I am still not working. I hate him, which is probably why the universe is sending me bad stuff right now. He has officially sucked ever ounce of everything out of me. EVERYTHING. I will never trust anyone every again I will never really love anyone every again I will never give all I have physically and emotionally every again. I am officially drained, did I mention I'm still getting his mail, so I got lots of reminders this week of what he did to me, mentally. I am shutting down my computer for a few days - it was still up and open so i need to vent. thanks for listening, or if not... just letting me type love to you all

Kat that sounds awesome! I so want to start camping again with the kids, I wish I had friends who would go with me, I would be sold in a minute.

Good Morning all Suzanne, are you going to the Falls this year on your trip? Buffalo is about 5 hrs west of me. On the news/weather I am close to Albany to give you an idea. I have friends in Buffalo so if you ever head that way let me know, I'll make a trip, I've been looking for an excuse Tracy - no plan today, paperwork, and resume printing all day. It is starting to snow, we are only getting 4-6" but good day to stay in. School is probably going to close early. Doing my chicken/green veggie detox, today is day 3. Down 1.5 yesterday so right back to 180, my lowest in over 15 years. I also started spotting this morning, yuck went 6 months with nothing, so very bloated, but would explain the lower back pain I've had the last 2 days, so maybe I'll get into the 70's this week. Fingers crossed! Suzanne - go you going to the gym and being so good. I'm going to go back next week, I know I said that this week but I'm still coughing, much less and more productive, but think cardio would kill me right now. Well, I'm off to dd's school, she forgot her ring receipt and can't pick it up without it. How exciting, my little girl is getting her class ring! Then coming home to make a batch of greens and beans, yummy

hi all just getting in from a day of shopping, spent way too much money but my daughter's best friend, who is like my daughter turned 16 today so I got her a really nice charm from me and the best friends charm from my dd. Kat - wow that sounds like a heck of a concert! Michelle, I'm almost 3 hrs north of the city well, my brain is fried so i'm going to make a plan for tomorrow, it is going to snow! finally, and only 6" so not too much either

Good Morning everyone You all know it is an open invite for all of you to come visit me, I would love it! How's the new homestead Tracy? How is Macy doing with the new school and adjusting? Cindy - I was ready for bed early last night too, but started watching a movie and stayed up until 11. Kat - you make such good food. I don't know how but after being lazy and sick, I thought I gained 10lbs last week living on mashed potatoes... I was scared but last night jumped on the scale, I only gained 1lb. I don't even know how that is possible. Don't get me wrong, i feel like a ball of flab because of being lazy but there is hope I can get under control. Maybe since you guys won't be going anywhere until sept you will have a chance to ride a lot this year? Suzanne - holy smokes, you are going to need that 3 weeks off at this rate. Good luck at your appointment today, I'll be sending you good thoughts. Well, I'm off to try to wake up, I am not coughing nearly as much but still really run down, or just bored and making me tired. I'm going to set my laptop up in the back room so i have a table to work at so I can get a bunch of paperwork done I just can't seem to do in the living room have a good day all

Hello all busy day here yest. I didn't watch the game but glad you gals are super happy I have been on antibiotics since sat night, and breathing treatments all day yesterday and actually got some sleep last night Feel lazy and bloated so going to detox this week and hit the gym tomorrow, I was going to go this am but... figued i'd give my lungs an extra day to catch up.. Kat all that food sounds so good, glad you all had a good night last night Tracy - that is an open invitation! Suzanne - how are you doing, still on a mission? I'm joining you

hi everyone I've been so sick, have been coughing up a lung for days, getting a little better today. Got up and cleaned away and just showered and watching the mercy I missed. First night I've been up past 8 in forever it seems. Michelle, glad your daugher does not UTI and hope she starts to feel better soon Kat - You are in my prayers, I hope the 2nd round of antibiotics starts to really work. That is great you got your tax return, you must have missed the cut off for last week. I did mine last Saturday and it says that I will have money in my account by the 12th. Good thing I changed FL trip, I was suppose to leave Thursday. I'm also really not in the mood and being sick.. Did I tell you all I read Dear John the other day? If I did I'm sorry for saying it again... but I picked it up and read the entire thing before noon. It was my life... when I was a teen to now, little different but the same. I have been an emotional wreck all week. Tracy, he is welcome! My daughter can babysit! Ok i'm going to get some more stuff done, I wanted to check in

Hi all we can make it through this rough patch! I have been eating like a pig myself too I have to get it back under control this weekend! Tracy, my military fling is April 23, want to come??? xoxoxox

Hey ya'll I have not had my computer on much, I've been fighting this horrible cold and finally stopped coughing up a lung. I am super pms too so feel huge. Oh well, lots of Water today How is everyone, so quiet here. Tracy how is the new homestead? Suzanne - you are now my inspiration, you are so focused Kat - I'm still hoping for April Vacation and a job so I don't get other options this year. I'm off to shower, have to go get more resume paper and get that mailed and get some stuff together for tomorrow

That was funny now I can't get it out of my head I''m good with this Suzanne, thank you We are still in a good place, I'm in a good place, one day at a time and it is a good one day at a time. The bad thing is, it is just comfortable. He had a bad day yesterday and came over last night, we talked until almost midnight and just fell asleep. Nice. I have not been able to do that in a long time. Content is what I am right now. Well, I'm taking a road trip and have to be ready in 20 mins and not even close to it. Have a good day all

Hi all still hacking up a lung kat, that is great i'm not getting support, and have not talked to him since xmas. been dating this guy who just ended a 9 year relationship and he is lost, which is sad because I confuse him because he likes me and didn't want to be in this place. he calls every day and we see each other at least 4 times a week, so good thing we are not getting serious. The sad thing is, I'm confused too, I really like him and it scares me, it is more than a date and tossed a side. well tomorrow is new day, I'm going to work on cleaning and painting the office where my new elliptical is going to be

hi everyone not much going on, not much to say. been out of control eating and feel like crap with no exercise. Found my elliptical and going to get it next week when taxes come in and cancel my y membership no one goes with me and I just can't afford it. I'm bumming when is spring here?

Good Morning all my crazy week caught up with me. I have a cold and slept until noon, showered and going to get stuff to finish up my project linus blankets Tracy --I've been super lazy for the last week, I need to do something, I should look on Craigslist and/or classified ads first too, hope you are all well

Hi all just a quick check in glad to see you all posting, i'll be back to do personals in a bit. I have decided to get an elliptical and put it in my office. That is what I was doing at the gym and I pay $80 a month for that? I can do water aerobics in my pool in the summer and I don't go now. So I'm going to spend $500 to get something I would use every day and not have to leave and if I go back to a gym for weights I will go to one of the $20 a month places. So that is my story and I'm sticking to it. I hate driving to the gym