Jennifur

i logged my food and exercise, and if everyday was like today I would be at 164 in 5 weeks.... one can dream right?

arent you all glad that you are happy and secure with your hubby's? This was so much easier when younger, and I didn't think I would click like that, it just happened, i was looking forward to dinner and that's about it.

hi Kat - i do know what you are saying, I think I am just too afraid of even letting my guard down at this point and don't even want to risk being hurt. if that makes any sense. I had a connection and don't know how to deal with that.

Morning all Kat - sounds so much more like you that Rick is back . I have turned into a boot addict this year. I've never been able to wear them because they never fit - so now I can't get enough. You continue to be in my prayers. Cindy - Ericka will be in my prayers. I hear you about the ticker. I have a stupid 15lbs to go for my personal and I can't get the scale to move either. Hi Suzanne, are you staying warm? Tracy - I said yes, but here is the thing, i'm emotionally unstable which I'm ok with, but he said it perfectly, I scare him because he has not felt like this in a long time. And I am freaked too, but he had to go to Nebraska yesterday and is going to be bringing is girls back here with him. So I am not needy, but don't need to have a great date and then get pushed to the side, but I think what scares me most is that with everyone I've dated in the last year with my crazy up and down, I have not felt a spark with anyone like this Well, i'm off to get ready to go on my Patriot Hills mission today and really want to hit the gym. So have a wonderful day and I'll be back love ya'll

Good Morning had the nicest date with a retired marine last night! he is so cute... actually asked me if we can start dating Going to jump in the shower, have to go to a birthday party and going to roller skate!

I'm excited for you Tracy It has been quiet, i hate this time of year. I just signed up to give a day get a day at disney. My 6 year old is old enough, and we are going to make tie blankets for project linus, and each get a day pass for Disney. I am staying at Seaworld, so get passes for there and want to hit a beach and I have a couple friends who live/stationed there that I really hope to catch up with. I'm so excited!

Good Morning everyone Tracy - you moving?

Hi everyone sorry, been a little crazy and wanted to post earlier but have been busy cooking for my new life style, the biggest looser way Kat - omg. giant hugs and prayers coming your way, Rick is home? That is great. LOVE YOU Tracy - yipee, I know where my next road trip is going to be to! Crzytchr - Did you enjoy your day off? Suzanne - I'm jealous, I could use some snuggle time. Well, I am going to Orlando in Feb. I did my preliminary tax return and I have enough to put 4 months of mtg payments away, go to FL, put get my new pool stairs and fence my yard, and have my house painted. You know how much stress is off my plate? I am going to take my next safety class on the 19th, have vacation, and a military function on 2/21 and then a spring fling for the troops in April, and look for a job, it is all good. don't get me wrong, I'm still mentally in the same place, but I think that job was stressing me, I'm not a receptionist, so I can deal with the rest! HUGS ALL I'll be back

tracy My fingers are crossed for you. And I'm so sorry about Nanna, but you are right, should everyone be so lucky to have a full life and end so peaceful hugs to you

hi guys I actually slept last night, so stress must have been doing me in from a job i really was not meant to be at. well, here i am... started a diet based on biggest looser cookbook today. OMG the food is amazing and cooked in normal portion control sized, not mass amounts. was 182 this am, I'll keep you posted!

hola friends Well, lets just complete my day... I lost my job today, no more work from me, just get financially back on track and back to the unemployment line. No reason, but we think it was because they found out about my BIL and he is one of the major subs on the job. "MOLE" is what they call it... Anway... going to start my next certification tomorrow... no time like the present to start

Morning gals Tracy- that pic of the bonfire gave me goosebumps! Holy crap, you can't miss that face! Suzanne, wow, schools closed because of cold. It is warm here... a whole 17degrees as a high, usually - numbers with the wind chill Kat - amen - I guess this is going to be the year to clean house and realize a lot about some people. I miss my friend but I just don't have it in me to put all my effort into it, when I need to take care of my needs for once in my life. I was watching miss congeniality *sorry for the sp* and all the memories of the Riverwalk came back. I would so love to take the kids there, I loved it. I'm going on vacation with my kids this year, who knows where or when. We are also going to get good camping equipment at tax time and are going to spend our summer weekends camping. I miss that. Ok, now that I'm really late for work, I guess I should get up. Took a muscle relaxer last night because I have not slept in days and my back was killing me from my ds sleeping on top of me the night before. I'm foggy but slept. Trying to find a good head dr. Have a great day everyone... hope all the mia gals are doing well. see ya all in the am, I have my ways and means committee meeting tonight.

Suzanne wow, I'm not alone with this! Same thing, I have my own issues right now and I just don't have the energy to fuel that fire. When do you go back to the dr? I'm going to call the head dr I left a message for last week. I really need to talk to someone, it seems to be getting worse every day. I got up and cleaned up xmas mess and that took just about everything out of me. I was going to a freinds tonight and he cancelled. I have no desire to leave, shower, and if the kids were not here I wouldn't get out of bed. Cry if the wind blows the wrong way. every day i just shut down more and more and don't know what to do. I know she won't be able to help me but i just can't pick a name out of the book, so even a referral would be great.

Good Morning Kat - hard time of year for Rick to be gone, snowy and cold so what do you do right? I hear exactally what you are saying about friends too. Suzanne - chili sounds good. I'm to a point where one minute I can eat and the next I'm throwing up. I gained 1lb but I think that is lack of water, I realized yesterday I had not been drinking much of anything. Maybe I'll join WW to get back on track. I am frustrated at this point, I need to get focused. It is also hard in the morning, I can't eat and don't have time when working. Maybe I'll just take a protein shake with me in the morning, and have lunch at 11 and a snack on my way home at 3:30. So, ya'll know the basic drama with my friend. Well I invited her to dinner new year eve as a break the ice thing, and she said she wasn't sure if she was up to it... then said she has health problems, and I said hope they fix quickly... and she came back with "who gives a f@#$" ... Well, they scared her to think had cancer, she doesn't but still has issues and having a hysterectomy. She has been mad at me for weeks because I don't have 24/7 to take care of her. So she gives this I am so sick pitty party and she has been out to dinner and drinking but too sick to function... So yesterday my mom went to help her shovel and she told her not to, and she might as well just kill herself. She is on progestrone, and her mom had serious mental health issues , I'm worried about her but at this point in my life, I don't have the emotional strength to deal with me, let alone take the abuse she feels she needs to give me. I feel really bad for her daughter, because if she is having these breakdowns with me, what is she doing to her daughter. I know when she was waiting to find out if she had cancer, she was walking around feeding the negative energy and her daughter was besides herself, almost in tears saying mom stop saying that! It is just sad Anyway, sorry that story was all over, but you get the basics of it. I am going to get xmas cleaned up today, snowy and windy. Tonight going to go to my friends and hang in the garage with the guys while they work. Oh my sister got the biggest looser cookbook, I'm going to have to check that out. But it is not the cooking that is the problem, it is the portion control, which includes eating too little ttfn friends

wow so quiet hope you are all off to a wonderful start to the new year!

Hi everyone Wanted to stop in and wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Thank you for the cards and holiday wishes. Things have been so crazy I didn't get cards out for the first time in 20 years. I went back to work a couple weeks ago so going to start the new year off right God bless Jennifer

T, he freaks with thunder and fireworkshat sounds like fun. LOL Your poor dog. I have a big giant cat, he is bigger than my neighbors shitzu, anyway, he freaks with fireworks and thunderstorms. He climbs under the recliner and wont come out for at least 24hrs. Suzanne, I went to bed at 7:30. How is that for early? What do you put in your potato soup. I've been making quick/easy cheating potato chowder but would like to make from scratch. Well, nice quiet day, I might get my tree down today and get some stuff in the trash since we have an extra day this week. Other than that, going to make a roast or the kids for dinner and hang out. I guess starting the new year with new friends and a lot of the old have left my life in the last 2 weeks. I made a last attempt with my friend I told you all about and to sum it up told me to F'off... Nice huh? I said last words of "I'm trying, have a happy new year" So as bad as I feel about the whole thing, I tried to make a mends and I can't feel guilty about that. So here is to a New Year of changes and possibilities. I have a new job to start the year with I have a few friends (locally) but they are good ones! I have my health and my children, can't be all that bad. thanks all for being a part of my life love ya'll

Kat that is a funny story! But enjoy tonight Suzanne,, oh that sound nice, I won't tell dd that you are the reason I remembered we can have a fire, she is the wood girl Tracy- drive safe and have fun! Ok enjoy, i'll be in bed very early!

Morning gals I feel like a complete pile of drunken mess. LOL I went to my friends last night for Margarita Night. Some of you may remember my tuesday night margi nights? well with holidays we have been off. We talked, laughed, had a couple margis. kerry's hubby is awesome, we didn't have enough stuff so he went to the store for us and topped the night off with a mudslide. He got her the $400 Margaritaville maker, which I would not pay that much for anything right now, but the thing is amazing. She is neighbors with Mr. Unavailable so we ended up there and he drove me home about 12:30. I just needed to get out an laugh and forget about things. Hope you all have a good day ... anyone have new year eve plans? I'm going to the pub with my mom, kids and a neighbor and coming home and passing out! xoxoxo

Kat, I met Jeannine (military) on Vet's day at ds's school, she touched my heart. We always laugh about how we were brought together for a reason. I'll take a cowboy, they are real down south.... it is all a pretend world up here in NY. So, I'm off to bed, I am drugged and have to get up at 4am love to you all

My new year resolution ... hmmmmmmm I have 2 Continue to work on me, so i can let that someone special in my life Lose my last 15lbs and get my tt by the end of the year! anyone else I think they are both realistic right?????

So, I just changed my ticker since I reached my short term goal and want to track my next one... anyway, I just realized that I was 218 on July 31 and at Dec 31 (5 months later) I am down to 180, that is almost 40lbs. I can get down 15 more by my bday in March right? Here is the other thing, I don't see it.... none of it, the only huge change I see are my tiny boobs are sagging and I only have 1 dimple in my butt .... that's all I get for 40lbs?

LOL, no, he is the guy I was dating last year's breakup ... he actually loves me and won't lay a finger on me because he respects me too much... that was our last talk we had on thanksgiving... too bad i can't see myself with him, he would take really good care of all of us, and he has a daughter who I talk to all the time too Yea, that is a good thing... but no baking.. holidays are over, make a healthy dinner! All the talk about food, I wish I could eat, but just thinking about food turns my stomach. 15lbs to goal, maybe I'll stay like this until I get there.... JK ladies... I hope to be able to choke down some broth or protein drink or somehing soon... just because I worry about nutrition. I'm going to mediate and pass out. 4am comes early

I know right? they do know me well... I have been super depressed before and usually go do things that I regret ... I'm trying to be an adult. So, i talked to my guy friend, who is the unaviable one, he is just a great friend - ya know the guy you can go shopping with and jus be happy with no ties... He has guy night tonight, but is going to call when he gets home so we can chat.

I will, if I go, I could easily self destruct and go home with someone, but ... I could go hang with my friend if that was what I wanted.