DynamoMini

Mdrai - Good luck tomorrow. I know it will go splendidly. So much has tried to block this positive change in your life, that nothing will be in your way now. I feel confident!

Widows Unite - Both my husbands are dead. I just found out last year, that my first boyfriend of (9years - he had commitment problems) was also dead. So every man I have ever loved is dead. What does that mean? Someone jokingly called me a Black Widow, I didn't think it was funny. In fact the thought has stayed with me, which isn't healthy. How have you moved on Carlene and Denise? I would love to have guy friends, but being a teacher for all these years I really didn't have that male contact. Yes, I raised my two 19 year old sons alone. It wasn't easy, but better than bringing men in and out of their lives. My first husband (divorced, but adoptive dad of my boys, alcoholic) died one year after my second husband, Ira (great love) died. The boys were 13. Hugs,

Good Morning Violets! Happy Memorial Day! I just caught up with you chatty bunch. I think the "diet" focus ebbs and flows with me. This is one of the bumps I always face. About two months of "dieting" (preop - now) and it is hard to concentrate for so long on food - what to eat, what not to eat, how much, weighing, measuring....yadda.....yadda..... and I've had some success. A weight loss that gives me some room. This is usually the time I "give up the fight" - but it is different this time. There isn't a way to give up, now do I want to. But I can see that I can't only live to eat, but I can't only live to diet either. I find time that I used to spend eating or thinking about eating needs to be channeled. The first thing I am going to do is to get cerified to scuba dive. I have always wanted to do this, so why don't I? Hugs and be happy and gentle with yourself today,

Evening Violets! Hope everyone is feeling great. I too had a PB, the upchuck kind, when I ate too big a bite of a Thai spring roll, those rice noodles did me in. But after the eruption, all was well. I agree the golfball is a much worse feeling. I will not eat after that. Mdrai - good luck with surgery. It is happening soon, you've waited for such a long time. I think 15 pounds in a month would be a gift. Things for me have really slowed down, that is with working out 5 - 6 days a week and eating under 1200 calories. Tonight I am fighting thoughts of ice cream. But I know that I can make some tea or something without the extra calories. It is just a hungry, craving mind, nothing to do with the stomach or real hunger. It is interesting to note this. In the book "Get out of your mind and into your life" they suggest using the statements "I am noticing that I am having the thought...." it helps put space between the thought. I use it a lot. Hugs to all,

Gosh I love you guys - We have Ovaries with Attitude and marching on Washington. When do we get Woodstock????? Last night I got together with two women that I've known for 32 years, but don't see often. One is in the throes of divorce, the other is perpetually in and out of relationships, and me, a widow struggling to launch my boys and my life again. We laughed, cried and one thing is for sure the bonds are amazing. We are talking about a multiple 60 year old BD party in Mexico or something for the fall. I'm a few years short, one is already over the hump, and the other is coming up on it. They have beautiful bodies and have seen mine through thick and thin. It was great to feel supported and loved by people who aren't jealous or worried that if I lose weight I will change and not be there for them. Here's to good friends. I hope everyone has them. Wishing all of you a happy and healthy Memorial Day!

Tricia - you go girl! You look fabulous! BJean - I think I better get busy with other things. I'm so over Idol, how about you?

Anniejo - you did post yesterday. Welcome! This is a great place for support and information. Green, Devana and BJean - I think the disappearing thing can reflect the state of mind and a level of energy that we project. I know that when I feel good about myself, I get more eyes on me, I can be charming and sociable. I also know that my weight and emotional well being affects what I project. But, society does discount the fat and the aged. So let's rise up and be noticed with our new healthier bodies and bright minds. Now add - the whole being single at this age. As a widow, we have another discussion. Boy that is tough too. However, I know one can be lonely in a relationship as well. Well, on that note. Have a great weekend! Take care of yourselves and eat healthy! Take a walk. Hugs, Michelle

Hi Everyone - I love reading the posts here. So often people over 50 are discounted, but we are brave and working towards the healthy life we deserve. BJean - so glad things are back on track for you! I was nervous about weighing today, but have lost 2 more pounds finally going the right direction. I agree that I have to keep it honest by writing everything down, because I am a calorienesiac. I'm not writing it down, declaring it, so it shouldn't count. What a silly game I play. Have wonderful weekends everyone!

Hi Everyone! I had an "official" weigh in today because of the weekend. I am down to 203 1/4 pounds. I was even wearing slightly cropped jeans, which are full length on me. I am thrilled because my BMI is under 40! Have a great weekend! Hugs,

Tigeriffic - good luck. I too am bruised by my fill. It wasn't the fill, but the attempt to pull a pocket of fluid out of my stomach. It had burst when the doc pulled the needle from the fill out. But all of the fluid had vacated my stomach so the syringe was pulling air - hence the bullseye bruise. Hope all is well. Hugs and happy Friday to all my Violet friends!

Mark - there is no accounting for taste, but you are not alone. This has been a crazy Idol season with the blog to vote for Sanjaya because he was the worst! I kind of thought the internet pics made the season interesting. Now, whose taste should we question? It does really come down to a singing contest and Jordin was better than Blake, but Melinda was better than both and she was voted off because she doesn't have stage appeal. Who's to say? I think I need a life!

BJean - told like a real "Hollywood" mom, just kidding! You and Green have a lot more insight to the workings of the music industry. I know that computer downloads have really skewed the profits from music CDs, and Simon Cowell loves when his idols make it big, heard it on an interview, so I know he makes money off them. I suppose you have to really have a huge ego and a tough backbone to make it. My hats off. Hugs to all you idol watchers - what are we gonna do next Tuesday?

BJean - that is a wise thought. Jordin will be able to develop "entertainment" qualities, but she really has a great voice too. I'm glad she won. Last year I really liked Taylor, but now see that the entertainment factor doesn't always convert to idol fame. I was worried Blake would win. He needs a free rein to develop and now he will have it. I wonder what kind of cut Simon gets from record production. Perhaps the people with more freedom like Chris Daughtry can really go for it and have artistic freedom. I'm relieved that the season is over.

Kim - :drum: :rockon: :waytogo::rockon: :cheer2::success1: :Banane40: :wow2: :woot::rockon: So now you know how it feels to be in Onederland. You have done so well, lost so many pounds, you deserve this cheering menagerie of silliness. Can't wait to join you. I appreciate what you said yesterday. It isn't what other people say to me, it so so much more what I say to myself. I am on a journey to unite my mind and body. Hugs to everyone out there. We can do this. :clap2: :clap2: :clap2:

Kity - I swear those middle school kids don't know which end is up and the response was always - "Just kidding!" I taught 31 years at the middle school (now retired) and most of the time was with special education students. Finally, I switched to ESL or ELA or in eduction we called the group JOB (just off the boat). Giggles. I loved those kids, everything was new and exciting! Especially the kids that had just arrived. Amazing how quickly they were expected to learn the language. Yes, it was English only, which is what I think works. I couldn't imagine going to China and being expected to be competent in the language in one year. I am so impressed with some of your weight losses. Today I struggled with my commitment. I really shouldn't be waiting around to lose weight it causes me anxiety. I imagine that I'm hungry when I can't possibly be - so it's head hunger. Even going to the gym isn't enough diversion. I think I'll get my resume together and teach part time at a private school or something for a year. Hugs all you Violets - welcome Smyly!

Ah, the scale - a friend?......a foe?........ a fixation?.......... It is really symbolic of my eating pathology. No one has noticed my weight loss, but I think I'll just smile and say thank you when people ask how much I've lost, are they thinking, "well, how much DID she weigh?" If i am sensitive about it, does it mean I haven't accepted the changed I am making? I have so much baggage from yo yo dieting, family issues, self-esteem stuff, it all comes up when i lose weight. This time with my band I have assembled a team of support people - a psychologist, a trainer and an acupunturist. I will get through it because I deserve a healthy life. Isn't it crazy? I just want to feel "normal" about food, weight and looks. Still in that adolescent faze. I find as each thing comes up now I am addressing the issue presented. So each ouwie is a gift for healing. Sorry to ramble, but there you are. Best wishes all,

Good Evening Violets! It took me a full 30 minutes to catch up with everyone, I wasn't on the computer much today. Angie - thanks for sharing your marvelous ring, it's a keeper! This is your wedding and you invite whoever you want. Don't second guess yourself, I think it is wonderful that you quickly and clearly responded and I admire that you can set boundaries. That is a wonderful character trait. I had an interesting??? experience. I had my first PB. Yuck! I wasn't stuffing myself, but I did eat while cooking some hamburger, and must not have chewed enough, or ate more than I thought. Old habits die hard. It all went into the garbage. Other than that this has been a great day. Good eating, good exercise, and a good activity level. Well, PB'ing is survivable, but not a feeling I'd sign up for daily. Kat - your party sounds wonderful. It is those life celebrations that make memories. I second the Oriental Trading Company, but lots of the party stores have great luau and jungle stuff. Have a blast planning and decorating. Mal - you are doing a really good thing here. Cheers! The band is a wonderful tool, it makes all the difference to making lifestyle changes. Hugs to you all, you are in my thoughts and prayers - it is amazing how close I feel to you. Blessings.

OMG Drews - we have been conditioned all our lives by the scale. It is really hard to pull away and achieve true self-esteem. I am a novice and struggling. Okay - now all you veterans - what is the deal with the heart burn feeling I sometimes get? It is kinda like the golfball, but a little different. Should I worry?

Sexy - good job, after a while you'll be able to eyeball the food. My official weigh found me at the same weight this week. It has caused me emotional/mental problems. I binged at my mah jongg game tonight, I am feeling a loss of control. I have exercised and eaten really well this week, until tonight, I think I will go back to logging my food and posting it. Kind of a get honest with myself process. I know that I am thinner. My measurements have really gone down, two inches in my neck alone. But that DAMN scale! People always say to use it as information, but I really have an issue with it. It is a lifelong issue with me. Something to bring up in therapy. Have a wonderful night Violets! This is a great site.

Connie - I am so sorry for your loss. Knee replacement isn't a big deal, I'm sure you are all shocked. collector - you are doing great. I am working at not being a scale whore and I put it away. It isn't easy, I want the weight off now! You are doing a great job dropping the weight, any secrets? Have a great week!

My first fill wasn't that bad, but the doc did hit sirus (spelling?) fluid and it squirted out when he withdrew the needle. Surprise! At least it got rid of the hard bump in my stomach. My doc added .9cc to a 5cc band. Most of the time I don't have that much restriction, but sometimes I do. It is unpredictable. I think he wants to take it slow and easy. Better that than foaming at the mouth.

Congratulations to everyone on their weight loss! Unfortunately, Drews you have good company. I weigh the same as last week. But remember, we aren't a number. This is a two year process... yadda....yadda.... but soon we'll be bragging with the rest of them. Hugs and happy week to all of you, Michelle

Conniesueb - Glad you had a good college tour. I think the process of finding the right place for your kids is challenging. My son ended up at UCCS because a friend who happens to be a high school counselor said she really liked the campus and it was a first rate smaller state tuition school. He's been very happy there, especially after he figured out his major. He is in film and communications, also loves art history. Would you believe he started out in biology thinking he wanted to be a dentist. Now, he doesn't exactly know what he'll do, but loves studying. So I say you gotta follow your heart with this stuff. Good luck with your son. Anyway, I am doing well. It has been five weeks for me. I had a fill this week, it isn't tight, but I seem to be doing well. I weigh in once a week, tomorrow and will let you know. I think trying to get everyone together will be very challenging. Why don't you PM me a weekend time you'll be here and we can figure it out? Not sure what to recommend. You are doing so well with your weight loss. You must love summer coming and not worrying about the lighter weight clothes and showing your arms and legs off. Good for you. Are you still losing 1 -2 pounds per week? Best wishes enjoy our glorious weekend weather. Michelle

Hi Violets - Spent yesterday morning with my son in traffic court. He had a ticket from February that he didn't "mention" until the day before when he asked for money for a lawyer. Of course, he is 19 and still learning. I was sure they would take his license, he'd lose his job, and be even more broke than ever. He was lucky with the DA who gave him the option of a class for $75 for 4 hours or a 6 point ticket that would cause him to lose his license. But, the real learning was for me. I sat in that courtroom and heard the mess other people's lives were in, there was another 19 year old who said his mother dropped him off, that he hadn't done what the court required and when the judge said, son, I want you to take a breath test, have you been drinking in the last 24 hours, the kids says no, then blew a .35 - he was handcuffed and jailed. I hugged my son afterward and said don't speed any more and thank you for being my son. Puts a little perspective on things. Through all this, even with the triggers, I ate ok, but kind of overate last night. Even after the fill there are moments I can eat more, then others were a few gulps of something can get stuck. Fickle....fickle....fickle.... Thanks for the great descriptions here, I know I am not the only one having the stuck, golfball, feelings. At first I tried to drink water to wash it down, but since banding it doesn't help. This really is a new lifestyle Hugs and good wishes for all of you this weekend, Michelle

Kim2BHealthy - what a great idea. 80 gb of music to move by. Think about the workout you will have. The storage is great for books on tape as well. clynnc - I think the three outfits are a great idea. My clothes are looking shabby and baggy, since I am nowhere near goal, I think I will go to Kohl's, Target and WalMart when I cross into Onederland. I am almost there Have a great day!