DynamoMini

I hope to be a lot less of me by Thanksgiving. A very happy thought. I decided I won't look at my neck as ugly, but as a balloon that's been blown up and the air let out. Do you think duct tape could tape it back behind my neck. Just kidding, well maybe not....... Rooster comb.... OMG!

meeeeeee tooooooooo, Jealous and greeeeeeeeen! I haven't been banded, but know the plastic surgery will have to come after. I think it is a good idea to wait some time to let the skin tighten as much as naturally possible. For sure I'll need a TT, all the weight is there, additionally the neck will look like a rooster's. Oh the joys of weight loss, and my surgery isn't until April 16th. I heard Thailand has great plastic surgeons, I was considering a trip in a couple of years. Ha ha.... Best wishes all you gorgeous chicks!

gailannr - I love your family. The good and the bad. You never doubted their love for each other and love for you. You have been blessed. You are doing really well with the band, and your surgery was recent. Best wishes,

shrinkpachyderm - I liked the two descriptions of the way we love. When fat I fall into the second description - love me, I beg you, I'll be really good to you...... When thin (ancient history) I was above the rest. I'm cool and you'd better love me... or else. Neither are very productive. Love does have to come from within for yourself, no matter what shape you are in. I think I am getting there. Thanks for putting it so well.

I welcome all of you, I too am new to the banding world. I have decided to go ahead and have a surgery date April 16th. I think this is my chance to unload the 100 pound backpack I carry throughout my days. i think it is important to make an informed decision. It has taken me two years and yet another diet failure to commit. Best wishes and keep coming back to the site. This is a wonderful place for support whatever your decision is.

Dear Everyone, You know it is good to share our stories. I, now, think, yes, it was awful for me but not as bad as some people have it. These are the experiences that form our life experience - we have the choice, now, how much we are allowing bad situations to interfere with living our lives today. I have many patterns of behavior I want to change in order to embrace a new lifestyle. I kept waiting for my growth spirt, but that was all she wrote and 5'0" I was in fifth grade and still am today! Chuckles,

Me too! I think it would help me prepare better for surgery. Thanks!

Green - That was elegantly put. I too, was an early bloomer getting my first period, age 10, at Girl Scout camp, where an old "nurse" gave me PetoBismal and I was told not to tell anyone about it. I was terrified, taking care of myself in an outhouse, lonely and ashamed. No one else was developed. Kids teased, my parents were embarrassed by my development, so I was. My mother screamed at me for not telling her about my growing breasts in 4th grade. We traveled to another town to get a bra, a horrible experience with my mother and a clucking, poking salesperson. I was mortified. I reached my full height of 5'0" by fifth grade. I was the second tallest that year. Yep, we're the same age. I have tried, as my friend's daughter come of age, to present them with a rose and a positive outlook. I wish someone had been kind like that with me. Celebrating womanhood instead of making it a shameful process. Maybe it isn't just the betrayals of the body, but of our family and how they treat puberty. Why not celebrate?

Desi - Sorry you have so much pain. I hope it is getting better. Best wishes, smile - you did it!

Hey mattie - Good for you. My surgery isn't until April 16th. It helps to know about some of the people who get through it easily too. Best wishes,

babygrl1234 - you are doing the program, funny how it builds. But I still have days.

Judi - Best wishes on this new adventure.

So happy for you! You are doing really well. I was just curious. Best wishes,

Congratulations! Was it weird to have a robot do your banding? I hope you have a speedy recovery. Best wishes,

Dear going down, You sound very ready for a fill. I really don't know as I haven't been banded yet, however, after reading the posts, it sounds like that to me. You have done soooooooo well, so pat yourself on the back and call the doc. You shouldn't feel hungery with the band, or so I've been told. Best wishes and welcom here,

Wow, Pamela, I am going to order that book and the 'Changes that Heal' by the New Life Counseling group, headed by Cloud, Townsend and Artiburn. You are soooooooo right that our relationships are based on the mother-daughter thing. I am mourning that I will never be loved the way I need to be. Mom appears wonderful and perfect to everyone else. I also had a brother on a pedestal, who I am always hearing about. My sis came late and shook up the family with her own self-centeredness. But she was buolimic, so even she didn't escape. Congrats on your surgery date! I follow you on the 16th. It is a wonderful decision and I am celebrating it every day. Best wishes,

I am not banded yet, but was told to expect a four hour time from beginning to end. I hope I can walk outta there.

Ditto to everything just said!

Both my sons are adopted and they are wonderful. I think adoption is an option that you might consider, rather than the complication of a family member who isn't stable carrying your child. I agree with the majority of the responses. My sons and I couldn't be any closer. In a way, i am able to have a little more perspective into what is nature and what is nurture with each of them. I went through the fertility stuff and it was deadly for me, and feeling whole as a woman. So many children out there to love, good luck with your decision,

Good luck on your surgery. Mine is scheduled April 16th. My doc doesn't require a liquid preop diet, but I think lots of proteins. Best wishes and a speedy recovery with weight loss,

Kyethra - We are products of our environments in one way or another. You are doing a great job of separating and boundary setting. I just need to see it as it is coming and not cringe with regrets that I didn't protect myself, like I want to. You have a lot of insight into your relationship. It is a no -win type of deal. It is hard when we can't extract ourselves from the situations. I am currently ignoring her, and keeping our conversations brief. But I am going to Mexico with her and another aunt and cousin next week for 9 days. I don't know, it may have to get a little ugly. I won't be abused any more. Good luck with your banding!

Scarlett - I think we have the SAME mom. Nice to everyone else, but horrible to us. I am a wimp too. I am working on my backbone tho, it is the only way I can survive and thrive. We deserve a healthy life and I guess I'll have to give up on a mom that loves me the way I love. That's another reality. FurEllie - I loved your story about your SIL and your bet. I know my sis and I talk about it, but sometimes she joins the enemy, so I have to be careful. Thanks for your story.

Oh Linny, The meanness, where does it come from? It is a triumph that you have raised your kids differently. I helps the healing process but did not seem to fix me inside. I am pulling back from my mom and I don't want to hear any more about my surgery or what I am eating. I'm sure she'll have "hurt" feelings when I don't involve her that day, but I don't want or need any negativity. I will invite her over when I feel energy and confident after surgery. She was a nurse for God sakes, with the bedside manner of Godzilla. Our age is similar and we have been damaged by the unrelenting disparagement, but we can choose to have a healthy life. I finally am feeling that I deserve to have a healthy life. It has taken 57 years, mom may not be able to adjust to my changes, she doesn't really want them, who will she pick on? Me, someone else suggested that she'll find something else. That, I can handle. It won't trigger all the half century of food grief. Best wishes and keep in touch, Michelle Michelle

This may sound very silly---and I am not at all familiar with the situation you are in. If anything, I can only hope to be as supportive as my Mom. Would it work for you to be just a little rebellious? Keep a secret. Guard that secret CLOSELY!!! She cannot know about your band---and then when she dogs you over food, you can secretly smile to yourself---because you know something she doesn't. Eventually the band itself will help you with the eating to insulate the feelings. And you have everyone here to share the secret with, As time goes on and the weight comes off, you will have to find a new secret, same as she will have to find something new to pick on. Kat Kat, I cringe to think of the next thing she'll find to pick on. It will probably be about finding a man. I do already have a perfect retort to that because after my dad died, she did nothing to date or hook up. So, let 'er rip. Thanks for the support.

O2BThin - Thanks, I loved the elephant on the shoulder analogy. It is abusive, so much better when mom isn't talking sh-t about me, eating, food, or the band. It really affects my relationship with her and my eating. If only I could just ignore, redirect, etc. I don't seem to be able to do that yet. I am working toward that, however. I think I need the space between her comments and my ears. I will have to put the fence up between us again, with very direct words. Like if you want to spend time together you will have to not talk about food, my band, or my weight. I'd done that a year ago, and she backed off enough for me to deal with my issues. It really helped. There is a part of her that really doesn't want me to change my lifestyle. I won't be poor Michelle with the weight problem any more. Oh my. Thanks your words mean so much to me,