mdrai

Good Thursday Morn-- whoops! AFTERNOON, Violets~~ Wow... time flies! Yikes! Where is today going? Teach -- glad to "hear" from you & so glad that dh is doing well. Enjoy Canada! Pam -- Yay, a skinny day! Haven't had one here lately, but I'm hoping I'll know it when it does arrive! Brenners -- wow, what a start to banded life! Glad to see that you're still happy w/your decision & are ok now! Laura -- that cake combo sounds yum! mmmmmmmmmmmmm Househuntress -- What a fantastic idea!! Very creative!! Jennifur & others -- re: constipation issues (which I've been having a bit, too, w/this liquid diet... really, every few days or so I wonder where I got enough "material" to create a poop... all I'm doing is DRINKING! for goodness sake... hmmmmmmm)... I picked up a 6-pack of these teeny tiny cute little cans of prune juice to have on hand if it goes on too long... haven't had to pop one open yet, but it's good to know it's there if I do... (sorry if tmi!) Ok... Day something... I'm losing count!... it's....... (counting on calendar)... 11! ~~ OMG -- so that means only 4 TO GO! When that dawned on me just now I whipped my head around to check the calendar -- ow... I think I got a crick in my neck doing that! 4 MORE DAYS! Aye Yie Yie! Doing well w/liquids now... it's just what I do now. Got my whey Gourment Smooth PB chocolate Protein powder in yesterday... I did not realize that it would be in a gargantuan tub! It barely fits in the cabinet! I also ordered the Cookies 'n Cream (w/out having tried it first, but it sounded good) & had one this a.m.... it's ok... definitely NOT as good as the PBC... but ok... nice change from choc & van plain. Have a busy tomorrow & weekend... I'm the Book Fair Chair @ the kids' ES & have to set up the BOGO Fair tomorrow... then it's game 1 of ds's soccer tourny weekend tomorrow night... whoever scheduled THAT is crazy -- making soccer parents drive on Mem'l Weekend Fri eve??? That's just cruel... Then it's soccer Sat AND Sun... + our annual neighborhood Block Party/BB! on Sun (which my family is one of the 3 "host" families that started this 3 years ago, so we HAVE to be there)... my plan for the BBQ is to make up a couple pitchers of Crystal Light and maybe freeze a couple containers of it so I can have it as a "icee" type thing (digging @ it w/a spoon may entertain me, I hope) + have lots on hand to drink... I figure if I keep mingling all around maybe no one will notice that I'm not actually eating -- they'll all think I ate earlier w/someone else! OH -- AND one of my best friends is moving back to our town (in MD) from St. Louis after 4 years away... they bought a new house in a nearby development & I'm going to go over on Sat morning and put up balloons & sprinkle confetti along the sidewalk & put a sign on the door, etc.... can you tell I'm excited she's coming back?? I guess all that is my way of explaining that I probably won't be on here much 'til Monday... and then that's the day before surgery!!! Calgon, take me away! But I procrastinate... I must go now & CLEAN MY HOUSE... I must! Everyone have a great weekend if I don't get back here 'til Monday!! And if you all are out & about having fun all weekend & don't get back on here 'til Tuesday -- PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR THOUGHTS ON TUESDAY MORNING (7:30am surgery time)!!!!!!!!! I need the Purple Power of ALL the Violets in Tights!! Love you guys!!!

Wonderful! This should be a sticky!

I'd suggest tracking what your eating on fitday or even just on paper (maybe you're taking in more than you think you are), talking w/your doctor, and meeting with a nutritionist to review your food journal & provide guidance. Good luck!

Good Wednesday Morning, Violets!~~ LAURA -- What Schexy said is EXACTLY what I MEANT... sorry it didn't translate that way! I meant looking back w/ happy memories of that time AND a 20 years of marriage... how far we've come... travels, homes, kids... y'know... the stuff of life! It's all good! Everyone sounds good... I'm much better, I'm happy to report. I've kind of mellowed out I guess... just doing what I'm supposed to be doing and biding my time 'til Tuesday! Funny story: Last night I was chewing my Viactiv choc multivitamin (what a wonderful invention!) and my dh saw me chewing and jumped all over me and said "What are you eating!?" and I just smiled & kept chewing and he's all "You're not supposed to be eating anything!" and I said it was my vitamin & he didn't believe me (well, I guess after years of me cheating on diets, he has a point!) so I had to show him the box! We laughed after. I told him I've been 100% perfect and that I wasn't blowing this chance! I think he is proud of me... yep... changes they are a'blowin in the wind! Have a great day, everyone... I have a busy one so probably won't be back 'til later tonight! "Splish Splosh!"

YAY TRACY FOR WALKING!!! I walked again this eve, too!! 2 days in a row! Yay us!! Woot! Woot!

Love the ring, Laura! Mine is similar... seeing it on you & hearing all your excited plans brings back the thrill of wearing my ring for the first times... I've had it on so long that it's become a part of me & I tend to forget it's there... but you made me really look at it again & remember back when... 21 years ago! ... when I got it and was young & idealistic & the world was my oyster... I'm so happy for you! What exciting adventures await you!

I'm being banded next week and am feeling all the feelings that you have described. It's normal! I'd worry about you if you DIDN'T have some pause about it! Good luck tomorrow!

My nephew is a Junior (I think) & I think he goes to SVH... Chris O'Neal? He plays footbal & lacrosse...

Pam -- you cracked me up w/the "surrender." When I read it the picture that popped into my mind immediately was from The Wizard of Oz when the witch skywrites "Surrender Dorothy"... except I saw "Surrender Michelle" -- I like it! Tracy -- Yay on the walking! I walked yesterday, too, at the park near our house, and I'm *planning* on walking there this eve, too. Lunasa -- Have fun @ the wedding... chew & chew & chew!!!!! Laura -- oh how wonderful that you got your ring... bummer on the size... but I guess it's a good thing too! The plastic sizers are great! Take a pic of your hand w/the ring on so we can see it -- pleeeeze! Kat -- Your invite is wonderful! I'm a professional editor, and I approve, and trust me, my dh would tell you that I ALWAYS find SOMETHING wrong with EVERYTHING! Terry -- Great job w/the exercise. That will be the hardest piece of this whole puzzle for me (well, once I get thru this week & actually get the ding-danged band!)... I'm so not an exerciser... but that is the "old" me talking... I need to change that to a more positive affirmation: "I enjoy exercise. I feel great after I walk." Ta Da! Sorry if I missed someone... I'm not even supposed to be on here right now! Darn RL! Gotta dash... have a great eve everyone!

Good Tuesday Morning, Violets... 1 Week From Today I'll Be On The Table! :eek: Many thanks again to everyone who took the time to help ease my fears yesterday... I think they're calming down... I know this is normal, I guess I would be a bit odd if I just went into this w/out any anxiety... I'm just plugging along, doing what I'm supposed to be doing (which evidently is sloshing around and using up all the earth's clean water supply w/all my flushes!), letting negative thoughts travel on their way through my head while encouraging the positive ones to sit & stay awhile. I'm not going on to any other post threads except this one & B&A 'til next week... or maybe forever! ((hugs)) to all for a great day! ~~Michelle PS -- Check out my ticker -- it's changed!! -10lbs this week! Woo Hoo!

I'm in Frederick Md and am going to Dr. Barry Greene, Advanced Weight Loss Centers, in Gaithersburg. He came highly recommended by my thyroid doc's husband, who also has privileges @ Shady Grove Hosp. (I was relieved by the independent recommendation!)

Hello fellow Marylanders! I live in Frederick, MD. My sister lives in Severna Park! Wouldn't that be funny if you knew her?? Denise O'Neal... they live in North Cape Arthur development. And my other sister went to St. Mary's (back in the '80s). My surgery is in a WEEK -- Tues., 5/29! My surgeon is in Gaithersburg: Dr. Barry Greene. Came highly recommended. Good luck, everyone!

Tracy... You never fail to crack me up! The "McCrapMonster"! Hoo Hoo Hoo! I DO remember when you all (or most of you) went through this almost-there oh-my-gosh what-am-I-doing phase... glad to see that I'm "normal" LOL! I nominate Terry for the Violet of the Day award! I've copied & saved & printed & read & re-read & am carrying around everywhere I go her "retrospective" of my journey in my own words & my seemingly amazing strength & positive thinking for others and am savoring every word to help save myself from this crazy, freaky "BINGE-GIRL" inside me who is fighting to save her life! Of course, the rest of you all share the "Ms. Congeniality" award -- don't think I'm not appreciative of EACH and EVERY word... I've actually copied all of today's posts into a Word doc to save & read & meditate on... it's like homework that you've all given me... the assignment?... to be gentle & kind & caring & upfront & honest w/myself -- no small task! I'm so lucky to be in this group!!!

Hey there~~ I've been on my pre-op liquid diet for a week now, and have dropped 10 lbs this week! Now, don't get me wrong, it sux... but it's short-term and it works! Maybe you could do some combo of Atkins 'til mid-June, and then kick it w/2 weeks of the liquid plan & SHOW THEM in July! Daily, I drink 'til I get to: 70 g Protein, 30-50 g carb, 30g fat & 64 oz of water/other liquid. I can have Protein Shakes (I ordered the sample pack from bariatriceating.com and have been actually enjoying trying the different types... the whey Gourmet Peanut Butter chocolate is the most amazing thing I've tasted in a long time -- on or off this plan! I also drink the Atkins ones in a can.), Water, crystal light, decaf tea & coffee, skim milk, sugar-free Jello & sugar free popsicles, and low-sodium broth (I strain the broth from "Healthy Choice"-type Soups & mix in 1/2 packet of unjury unflavored Protein Powder as a way to get in more protein... I fee the Soup "guts" to my kids, or throw them away). You seem like a "find a way" type of gal... good luck!

Terry! Wow! That you took the time to do that BLOWS MY MIND! My own words. When I read them like that... as if they were posted by someone else... has the most amazing effect on me! They let me see myself differently. Sometimes I'm a wonderful cheerleader... sometimes agonized... sometimes goofy... always a friend and supporter... I realize that I am that to each of you... but not to MYSELF! Wow. I am reeling from this. You have no idea how powerful this is. Please know, Terry, that your time was not wasted on this. I am really crying now. I am so good at giving the support/encouragement/love... but not so good at the receiving. Thank you, dear friend. Wow!

Thank you SO much for your responses. It means SO MUCH to me that you all will take your time to talk me off the ledge.... that you care... about me... someone you've never met! just some "internet" person... it's amazing... I think that *this* is what the Internet was designed for... to bring friends together who would've never met in RL otherwise... it's amazing... I'm actually tearing up as I'm typing this... I am overwhelmed by the support and encouragement that I receive from you... the calm reassurances... I agree that it's my "inner binger" who is making a last-ditch effort w/all her might to keep me from getting rid of her for once & for all. She's pulling out all the stops -- and dam, she's good! I, too, poured over the "B&A's" last night... amazing stuff there! Negative, scary thoughts continue to weedle their way into my head... but what I'm noticing about them is that they seem to be all "what if" scenarios... and NO ONE can answer those! No one can predict the future -- for better or for ill! So do I continue on and try to do this (again x infinity) "on my own" and I would expect things to be as they are now... basically happy & as healthy as someone w/MO can be (and to be honest I need to acknowledge that the chances are that my health will only deterioriate if everything else stayed the same)... or do I take a leap of faith and try something new w/the hopes of a better outcome? Still happy but healthIER? (It's the other option, that it'll create more problems than it solves that keeps coming back to me... grrrrr...) Ping-pong... back & forth... so goes the debate in my head... I wish I didn't have so much time until surgery... BUT... even in the face of all this debate & decision... I remain "perfect" on the liquid diet AND, What's MORE ... after I put dd on the bus this a.m., I drove to the park and WALKED 20 MINS! I enjoyed the gorgeous spring morning and the birds & the breeze & the gurgling brook... so it seems to me that even tho my head is in disarray, it would appear that my BODY just keeps on doing the right thing... sigh... why does change have to be so hard?????

Teach -- Best wishes and all my good thoughts for your dh today! Jenn -- May today be the day you've been waiting for! Today is Day 8 on liquids, only 7 to go --- look, the numbers have shifted! I'm on the downward side of it! Yay! Still feeling anxious & questioning my decision to have this done. Can't talk w/dh about it as he's never thought it was a good idea. I think I'd better not read any more posts anywhere else but this one, because when I do, every time I read about an issue/problem, etc., I become convinced that that'll happen to me! I know it's skewed... I know that most folks who are doing just great w/the band don't post as much as those w/issues, but it just *seems* like there are so many folks w/issues. I think "Maybe I didn't give diet/exercise enough of a chance... maybe I should give that one more SERIOUS try." Then I think "Uh, Hello??? You've tried that route for what -- 20+ years! -- w/out success... what will make this time different?" and then I think "Having the band as a tool"... and so it goes... I guess I'm just scared. This is what I want/expect: that I'll get the band, I'll go through the healing process, I'll get my fills, and then, ultimately, I'll be able to eat pretty much anything (bread,etc., I understand most likely not) but just less of it. Period. I don't want to be living on smoothies & crackers and eating only after 4pm... I don't want to go to sleep w/a cup for sliming in on the bedside table... I don't want to slime every day... I just want to EAT LESS of regular foods and LOSE WEIGHT in a healthful way. Assure me that this is the way to achieve that! I really am in a state. It's been for the past few days. Getting worse each day. Usually I'm fine in the a.m. but as the day goes on I get more mental. Help?

Today is Day 7 of my 15-day liquid diet pre-op phase and I'll be honest, "cheating" has entered my thoughts a few times... but I have NOT cheated... and this post will definitely ensure that I don't. I can't imagine having the constant physical reminders of my failure scarred onto my skin. Wow. Thanks for the powerful reminder!

Good Sunday morning, Violets~~ Lapdancer: Thanks for the good thought -- I'll add it to my mantra rotation! Every little bit helps! Terry & Kity: Thanks for the encouragement and warnings! That would really suck... having the scars but not the band... a constant reminder of your weakness. Jenn: I am sending out positive thoughts to the universe for you! You are like the energizer bunny... you just keep on going! I love your "do what it takes" attitude! A LOT of people would just fall in a lump on the couch and blame all their troubles on "others" and wait for the situations to just magically improve... but not YOU! I strive to be that way and you are my role model!! Hang in there... you are tough! Angie: Sorry about your car troubles, but it IS quite an entertaining visual! Day 7... 8 to go... when I get through today, then the numbers shift & I'll have more days behind me than in front of me! W/each day I get a bit closer. And my weigh-ins don't hurt, either... yesterday was 302.2 & today was 300.2! I know the minute I put something in my mouth I'll instantly "gain" 10 lbs, but I figure that I'll try to get rid of as many of these pesky lbs as I can in the next 9 days! I'm not feeling AS hungry or desperate as I was last night, but I AM getting short-tempered & nasty w/my family... I seem to be losing patience as well as lbs! I'm also PMS time, so I'm sure it's the deadly combo of the two that has me barking at them. DH in particluar is driving me crazy... I'm reminding myself that it's all hormonal and that in a month I should be closer to "normal"... just ride it out... no major decision-making... just keep things calm & copasetic (sp?). Off to clean the house -- no wonder I'm cranky! :what:

It's really amazing the range of pre-op "diets" out there! Wow! This is Day 8 of my 15-day liquid pre-op diet. I've been "perfect" but it DEFINITELY hasn't been easy.... actually, I find it's getting harder w/each passing day. sigh. I can have 3-4 Protein shakes + Water, decaf coffee/tea, sugar-free Jello & popsicles, crystal light, & broth (not tom Soup type, but clear). I'm supposed to get 70 g pro, 30-50 g carb, 30 g fat each day. I will follow the same plan for the first 14 post-op days as well, but am hoping that those will be infinitely easier as I'll have a teensy tinsy tummy and not this growling, gaping one that is none too pleased w/this liquid turn of events! Good luck, everyone!

Oh, I'm getting freaky about surgery, too. What a combo.

Checking in again... Went to see "Shrek 3"... enjoyable, but #1 was best, then #2, so that makes this #3. Did fine w/my drinks, even tho I had to keep passing the popcorn bag & jumbo soda back & forth to the kids. Did not go to Panda Ex after, which is good. Went grocery shopping instead. Wow my stomach was growling! Came home/food away/broth w/protein powder in it/nap... woke up & I am SOOOOOOO HUNGRY! And CRANKY! Family had dinner while I was snoozing on the couch... man it smelled so good... & it was just hot dogs on the grill! This is getting REALLY HARD! I am REALLY QUESTIONING MY DETERMINATION & ABILITY TO FOLLOW THROUGH WITH THIS! I mixed up another protein shake and came into the dark office & straight to lbt & you guys... But I swear it would be SO SO SO EASY to go into the kitchen & grab a dog or two and EAT THEM STANDING AT THE COUNTER! And I'm really not all that big a fan of the 'dog. This is the end of Day 6 liquids -- not even 1/2 way there yet!!! I am using ALL my strategies & positive thinking & visualisations & self-talk & avoidance (after I'm done here I'm going to go upstairs, fold laundry & get into bed... my ultimate diet strategy -- go to bed!)... but I'm not sure how long they will hold me back! Ultimately the #1 thought that I keep repeating to myself is that if I "cheat" on this 15-day liq diet, then I run the serious chance that my big, fatty liver won't shrink or whatever and either they'll have to slice me open or won't be able to do the surgery at all. That's it... the magical thought. But what happens when I don't care about that????? How long will it hold me??? Another thought I have is that if I can't do this for 2 weeks, then I shouldn't get the band... that's a good backup thought for now, too. I hope they're strong enough to last for 8 more days!!!!!!! I'm not worried about the post-op liquid phase, as I figure that's all I'll be able to / want to "eat" then, anyway. It's just NOW!!! Thanks for letting me rant... I'm off to bed!!

Good Saturday, everyone! Man weekends are hard re: eating/dieting -- especially on the liquid diet! :mad: Our weekend schedules are so loosey goosey that eating is a challenge. Today the kids want to go see "Shrek 3" (I do, too)... so I'm planning on bringing a protein shake & a dt green tea or crystal light to suck on while inhaling the aroma of popcorn all around me....... THEN we usually stop @ Panda Express after... I looked up their soup nutritionals & think I'll be ok w/the egg flower soup (prob too much sodium tho). Then I got the idea to look up several fav eating-out spots... Starbucks... Panera... I priinted out the nutritionals for drinks, soups & salads for future reference (can't wait 'til the "mushy" stage!)... I think I'm going to keep these printouts in my car, so I have them handy when I need them, which is usually spur-of-the-moment stops between sporting events/errands on weekends. So having this info makes me feel a little better & in control... planning ahead... having the facts... I can't believe I'm being so food-responsible! Have a great day, everyone! OH -- (I can't believe I forgot to type this already!) -- this a.m. the scale read "302.2"!!!!! Wow & Yay! It's not "official" 'til Tues a.m. (oh the head games I play w/myself) so I can't wait to see if I hit Two-terville by then! Amazing!

Oh dear, Terry... sorry to hear about your burger experience! I was surfing around on the "food" forum and there's a thread about "Do you find it easier to eat junk" (or something like that... it's a poll) and I'm reading the posts & starting to freak out about am I doing the right thing w/getting a band? It seemed like practically everyone had some horror story about not being able to eat before noon/4/6pm or only shakes and all crazy stuff like that and then one person wrote this: "I think back to when I thought I'd just be eating small amounts of food and wonder why I didn't know that eating at all would become such a chore." That's what I think!... that I'll be able to eat pretty much whatever, just smaller amounts of it. When I think that I could have a whole host of problems of what/when/how much, etc., I start to get fretful. Part of the reason I'm doing this is so I don't have to spend so much time thinking/planning food... that it'll be a nonissue... I don't want it to actually be MORE difficult! I'm attempting to calm myself by remembering that many (most?) of you brave, trailblazing Violets had serious moments of doubt in the couple weeks prior to surgery, and that these thoughts are normal, and that it will all be ok... I'm generally a positive attitude kind of gal, resourceful, not taken to whining (all that much)... and think that these traits will serve me well in my post-band life. But still... the niggling fear of surgery, of the unknown of what "after" will be like, of missing my "old friends, food" (or at least the quantities of them)... are starting to circle 'round my brain and get my bp up... tell me this is normal, and this too shall pass!

I've found you, my people! I'm finishing up Day 5 of 15 of my pre-op diet... being banded Tues., 5/29 (that Mem'l Day bbq should be interesting! ) Then I'll be on liquids another 2 weeks after surgery (but I'm hoping that end will be easier as the gaping hole that is my stomach will be "tamed".) I can have Protein shakes, Water, decaf coffee & tea, crystal light, broth, and sugar-free Jello & popsicles. I have to meet the following nutritional levels: 70 g protein, 30 g fat, 30-50 g carb, 64 oz water. They also say 700-900 calories, but I'm finding that that's been running more like 500-600 so far, but w/all the other areas met. I'm also usually a weekly weigh-er, but have been doing it daily to watch the lbs plummet! For broth, I'm straining 1 can of Campbell's Healthy Request Chunky soup and then mixing the broth from that w/1/2 packet of unjury unflavored Protein powder (10 g pro). Then my kids eat the soup "guts", as we're calling them! I find those broths tastier than just broth... some have quite a kick! I also ordered the sample pack from bariatriceating.com but was basically scared to try the different protein mixes as I know that so many of them are just awful. But I was getting bored of the Atkins-in-a-can ones, so yesterday I gave one a whirl. It was whey Gourmet Smooth Peanut Butter chocolate, mixed w/ 8oz skim milk (oh, I can have that, too), so 30 g protein, and it was HEAVEN!! So smooth & creamy & delicious! I couldn't believe it! It tasted like melted reese's cups! (Of course, not having eaten anything in 4 days, maybe my sense of taste is out of whack.) Anyhoo, I ordered a whole tub of it today... I figure if I can have 1 of those a day, I just might make it! Otherwise I'm doing ok... the headaches are basically gone, but my stomach growls quite frequently... for instance, yesterday in the checkout line at Sam's Club... I got several odd looks from the others in line! I have been having 1 craving, tho... very specific... Ledo's cheese pizza... I've tried imagining eating it, to see if that would make the craving go away (it didn't), and also telling myself that for mushy stage, I could go buy a jar of their sauce & mix it w/light riccotta cheese for the flavor (didn't really work either), and also telling myself that in a couple months I can have the tops off a piece (still not really doing the trick). So basically, it's just trying not to think about it... but I'm surprised that THAT is what popped up as my ongoing crave... not what I would've expected... odd... Splish, splosh!