faithmd

EXCELLENT post, Mark!

Do most people test drive fifteen different cars? NO. That is NOT what I was suggesting, either. You yourself (qvr) said you had a few partners before you married. That's what I meant, and when I wrote what I did I was responding more specifically to Boo Boo Kitty who has been with her husband since she was 15 or so. That is TOO YOUNG and you have not know enough men (not necessarily in the biblical sense) to know that this one is the right one for you for a LIFETIME. It kills me to see folks today marry at 18 or 19 or 21. It is much different than it was even 25 years ago. You have NO IDEA about life yet, you and your partner have so much growing and maturing to do. True the ideal way would be to do that together, to overcome adversity together, to grow together, but nowadays that is more rare than finding a person without a cell phone. I absolutely stand behind my theory of test drives in the context that I think of it. If I had never tried to establish a deeper relationship with my ex in college I'd never have known he was gay, and he would never have admitted it until after we were married and we were both miserable. Sometimes it takes time for men or for women to come to the realization that they are not heterosexual, and without a good testdrive of a relationship (not necessarily a night in the sack) it is sometimes easier to deny those feelings and think you can make them go away. Granted having a partner realize they are not heterosexual is not an everyday occurence, but it does happen, I have four friends who went through that. Would you all have been less critical of my terminology if I had said, "try them on for size?" Or perhaps, "date other men?" That is all I meant, to date others. My 81 year old mother, God love her dear, Dr. Laura and Dr. Phil loving deeply religious soul, told me that you NEVER get married to someone without trying them on for size. She used the test drive analogy and it stuck. She married when she was 37. Smart woman in my book. (Okay, now I feel I have to clarify this, I am not saying everyone should wait until they are 37, either.)

Losinjusme, you are a WONDERFUL inspiration!

Sandy_pants, it is a frustrating thing to have to wait after you have made up your mind to do something. I think it does make the wait a little longer being on a Medicare list. Though to get my insurance to cover the procedure it took me over 15 months, so you are NOT alone. Have you given the office a call? It is a good idea to check in with them every week or so and see how things are progressing. Have you found out from Medicare or from the doctors office what the requirements are for Medicare to pay for the surgery? I have no idea what they are, but I ask because most insurances have a requirement of some sort, be it a number of years of documented morbid obesity, monthly visits to the doctor for weight loss for a specified time frame, a certain BMI, comorbid factors, etc. Make sure you've got those things in place or you will be waiting even longer. One other option is to self-pay and head to Mexico, there are a number of wonderful band surgeons there. There's loads of threads here about how to research them. Don't just go for cheapest, because you do get what you pay for to a degree. The good ones average about $7,000-$10,000. There is a lap band doctor in Denver who does bands for $11,000-Dr. Kirschenbaum. There's a thread here devoted to him, too. Ya know it sucks, it really does, to be frustrated and be waiting, but be pro-active while you are waiting. Do loads of research. Find out what to expect after banding. Practice life as a Bandster now. I did and it helped immensely. I started eating my lean Proteins first, then my vegetables, then if I had room I'd eat fruit or some complex carb (whole grains, NOT white bread or white potatoes). I gave up ALL carbonation and caffeine, I started eating (when I wasn't in public) with baby utensils to practice taking small bites. I practised chewing, chewing, chewing before swallowing, I stopped drinking with my meals and for 1hr after (or as long as I could make it). I got rid of all the refined sugars I could from my diet. I started reading labels and if it had high fructose corn syrup or enriched flour in it, I wouldn't buy it. I started drinking Water. Not lots of water, but I never loved it in the first place, so I experimented with True Lemon products so that I could drink something WITHOUT artificial sweeteners like Splenda or NutraSweet in it. I tracked EVERY bite and EVERY sip of anything I put in my body on a FREE intake tracker like fitday.com, mydailyplate,com, sparkpeople.com, etc (there are so many out there). It was eye-opening. I lost 44lbs making these simple changes, and I didn't feel deprived or stressed in any way. It has made at least the first couple of weeks (so far) after banding go fairly well. You can do so much to get yourself ready for this, take this time and DO IT. The band is NOT a magic fix, it will take work and committment to do it's job, it is merely a tool to help. It is up to us to make it work to the best of it's ability. I think we get into a bad trap if we sit and wait for the band fairy to come and place the band on our bellies and assume that's all it takes. I wish you luck and hope you get a date soon. Remember you are not alone, we are here and we're here to support each other.

Sandra, it may not, but remember the first few weeks after surgery are not for losing weight, they are for healing, you body is hanging onto every calorie it can get to heal. It will go down eventually. Have faith!

Thank you all for you kind comments. I'm just a fat woman who feels that if I am going to go so far as to have surgery to deal with my weight issues, I need to be as informed as possible. I'm going to take time to learn the hows and the whys. If I'm having surgery, I'm going to look up the approach and technique and ask my surgeon what approach he uses. Someone said it earlier, an informed patient is much more likely to be a compliant patient. If you can't be compliant after you know why you need to be, then maybe you need to consider some behavioral therapy before you go so far as to have surgery. I'm not talking about being perfect, everyone makes a mistake now and then, but I am saying if you don't think you can follow the rules in general, then you need to really think over what you are doing and why, and get some help so you will be successful.

You can get the info at their website, it was a bit hard to find, though. Here's the link: chicken of the Sea - New Products I tried the mandarin orange pink salmon, EWWWWWW. It makes me nervous to try the other salmon varieties. I won't touch tuna if someone has a gun to my head, so that's out... (Sad, I know)

I agree that is easier to follow some of the rules post-op because of that "fear factor." I started being a pretend Bandster in late January/early February. I started eating my Protein first, then veggies, then if there was room, I'd eat fruit/complex carbs. I started tracking every bite and every sip of anything I put in my body on one of the free online calorie counting sites (fitday.com, sparkpeople.com, mydailyplate.com, calorieking.com, etc). I didn't stick to any certain caloric intake, I wasn't on a diet, I was changing my eating habits. I severely limited my intake of "white" or simple, refined carbs. I read labels, high fructose corn syrup and enriched flour were cut from my diet. I stopped drinking so many diet drinks (they made me crave food), and started sweetening my food and drink with Stevia (natural plant derivative) or Blue Agave nectar (low glycemic index sweetener-slowly metabolized so you don't get teh blood sugar spikes and dips). I bought baby foods and various Protein Drink samples and tried them so I'd know what I could tolerate post banding. I started eating with baby or toddler utensils so that I'd be used to taking small bites. I gave up caffeine and carbonated drinks. I stopped drinking with my meals and for an hour after (if I could make it), I started chewing, chewing, chewing my food. I did everything I could to prepare myself for this drastic change. I lost 44lbs before the pre-op diet time came. It was fairly effortless. I've had very little in the way of cravings since OR and definitely wouldn't say I feel like I'm in hell, though this time is called Bandster Hell. It's not easy, I'm not perfect, we all have slip ups. But trying on the Bandster way of life pre-op ABSOLUTELY helped me. I wish you luck.

Yep, I agree completely. I'm in that liquid/mushy stage and it is HELL. but I know there's a reason for it. I just posted a heck of a tough love speech over on a thread called eating four days post-op. It's one of those, "Well, it went down okay, and I chewed really well, so now I'm eating pizza" threads.

I went up north yesterday (I'm there now) so I wouldn't be tempted. Thank GOD Traverse City is about 90 minutes from me up here, or I'd be at the the damned Cherry Festival pigging out on cherry pie and cherry ice cream and cherry jam and cherries!

WARNING, this is very LONG, but if you are cheating and eating when you shouldn't be, it's also very IMPORTANT. Oh for goodness sakes, people!!!!! There is a REASON that you are told not to eat, it isn't to make you miserable. I will explain why below. Some docs are advancing their patients faster, but those numbers are VERY few. I don't think the data is there yet saying it's okay to eat more solid food so soon post-op, maybe there is, but I haven't seen it yet so I will do what my doc says and that is what makes sense. Here's my tough love speech: I remind myself of this everyday. It is NOT easy to stick with this diet, especially when so many other seem to be moving faster through the food stages than I am. But I do remind myself that moving slowly MAKES SENSE and my surgeon's group has had NO SLIPS (other than one that was totally the bandster's fault-eating things he really shouldn't a few days out). Ready? I am a person who wants data to back up most things a health care provider is doing to/for me. The Allergan website (the folks who MAKE the LapBand) says this about food stages: Post-Surgery Nutrition After surgery, you will need a new nutrition plan. Your surgeon and/or dietitian can help you learn about and get used to the changes in lifestyle and eating habits you need to make. It is very important to follow the eating and drinking instructions beginning immediately after the operation. In the first few weeks after your surgery, you will be on a liquid diet since only thin liquids will be tolerated by your stomach at that time. As you heal, you will gradually progress to pureed foods (three to four weeks post-op) and then soft foods (five weeks post-op). Finally, you will be able to eat solid foods. Granted perhaps there is new research that says prolonged periods on liquid diets are not necessary and the Allergan site just hasn't been updated yet. I would wonder what a surgeon who advances quickly's complication rate is and more specifically what their SLIP rates are? Are they advancing people faster because of the AP band and the selling point that it's less likely to slip because of it's width? Is there a study they can show you to support the shorter move to soft foods? Has surgical technique changed and is there a way now to access the back of the stomach (not previously accessed because of it's proximity to the spinal nerves) and suture the band (I haven't heard of it)? The reason for the liquid diet is because the band gets "seated" on the stomach and held in place by scar tissue that forms during the weeks we are taking in liquids. The stomach is a muscle, and that muscle has to churn and undulate to digest and move food through. Liquid requires little stomach movement to process. When we start to chew something, that lets our digestive system know that food is coming down, fluids begin to be secreted to aid in digestion and the stomach starts moving in preparation to start the breakdown of food. The band is held in place on the front of the stomach by sutures in the stomach where it is pulled up and over the top of the band, then sutured to itself. There is nothing holding the back in place, the surgeon tunnels behind the stomach to pull the band around and then scar tissue forms to hold it. That scar tissue can't form properly or as well if the stomach is churning and moving to digest. Kind of like pulling a paper cut on a knuckle apart every time you bend your finger, it takes forever to heal. At least that's what the band folks have said for years that is how it all happens. Perhaps someone somewhere has done a new study and what we've always believed is actually not right. It's possible, but not likely. Do you see now why I'm hesitant to eat early? Of course, if someone can show me concrete good data (not just a study with a sample of a few patients) that the longer liquid stage is not necessary, then I'll be happy to change my thought process. I look at it this way, if I were pregnant and my doc told me I had to be on liquids to keep my baby healthy, I cannot imagine being desperate enough to put my unborn child's health at risk. I'd be on that liquid diet PAST the date the doc told me to just to be on the safe side, wouldn't you? Why won't we protect OUR OWN health with just as much vigor? Why do we risk our own health when we know that being in liquids is for a finite period of time (two weeks, four weeks, six weeks, whatever)? Why on earth are we "cheating" and risking our bands? Just because something goes down okay doesn't mean it isn't setting us up for damage later. Damage we do now freshly banded may not show up until a year or two down the line. Maybe we have a bad episode of vomiting and because we just couldn't wait to chew, we didn't get good adhesion of scar tissue early on, it may slip. Really think about it, folks. If it were to protect an unborn life, we'd do anything. This band is the key to our new lives. I truly hope that no one thinks I am speaking down to them or judging them because they have slipped up. I certainly am not! I am trying to point out the reasons why it is so important to try to get back on that horse and toe the line as long as possible. I would never dare to say that merely being banded would end years of food issues. Lord knows if I could make it to 371, I have had some food issues, and continue to have them. I am posting my tough love because it is (as I said) something I have to say to myself every day, if not more often than that. I am by no means perfect. If we screw up, we screw up...Hopefully no harm done. Take the time to evaluate what happened and get back on the path you should be on. My concern is not so much for those who make a mistake once or twice, my concern is that there are so many out there who say, "Oh, it's okay, it went down fine so I guess I can do it." Or those who look at what other's diets are and advance theirs faster than their surgeon or nutritionist reccommended. But of note, the granddaddy of the band in the Western Hemisphere supports three weeks of liquids before moving to solids. My belief is that chewed really well most solids could be considered mushy so I totally understand the jump over mushy to solid. I post this because I truly do not believe that everyone got a good education about WHY they should be sticking to whatever liquid stage their surgeon or nutritionist wants them to. So often physicians have a tendency to say not to do something, but never explain the how and the why behind it. If you can give me a good reason for something, I'm much more likely to accept it. It somehow makes a tough thing a little more doable if I know that reason for it is important. I am not comparing being banded to being pregnant in any way. However, I am pointing out that we would all do the very best we can for a child, yet we tend to be lax when it comes to our own health. Perhaps we should have lots of counseling before we have a bariatric surgical procedure. I know that it is impossible to just say STOP and then do it. If we could say STOP to ourselves, we wouldn't have been fat. But the band requires so much from us, I think (or at least I hope) that we were all fully informed about the changes we were going to have to make after banding. It isn't easy. I knew it was going to be damned hard so when I got closer to being banded I started to practice behaviors that I read about here and other places. I started eating Proteins first, I got baby utensils to eat small bites, I stopped drinking with my meals, I tried to get used to chewing, chewing, chewing (the hardest for me to do). I obviously could not have handled decreasing my intake amounts pre-band, but I did the best I could. I researched, researched, researched. Am I tooting my own horn? Am I the poster child for bandsters? NO! I am pointing out that I got to that "place," I came to that magical moment where I just couldn't take it anymore. I decided (as we all did) to have SURGERY to lose weight. What a crushing blow, to admit that I just couldn't do it alone. Well, I could probably lose some, but I knew it wouldn't stay off. I needed this tool, so I learned as much about it as I could, I learned why we do things. I think if you are going to go so far as to have surgery, you should take some accountability and not say, well, I couldn't do it before, so the band will just stop me. How many threads have we all read where someone thinks it's okay to be so tight they PB on just about everything because that's how they are losing weight? That is NOT good. That's not protecting the band, or ourselves. I am only trying to catch us (and myself) and support us being as healthy and proactive in this journey as we possibly can be. I want every single Bandster to be successful and healthy in their weight loss as they can.

Edie, I LOVE YOU!!!!

Puddin, how long did it take for all the swelling to go away after your lower body lift? Psssst, I think you're doing the right thing breaking up with A, you are a woman who deserves the best from a man. Not to say that he seems bad, not at all, but he just doesn't seem to want to work for this as much as you do. I know you aren't perfect, you've made mistakes (we all have), but you are doing your best to correct your errors. In addition to conquering your demons, you should have a man befitting of your Phoenix status (a gorgeous bird rising from the ashes and spreading her wings).

JULY, 2007 CHALLENGE Name...............................Starting…....Current…......Goal…..........To Go losingjusme..(Christine).........293.............. 293... ..........276.................17 tann.............(Tammy)...........224............ . 224..............212.................12 Josette.................................322....... .......322..............307.................15 RidinMyHDDream.(Carol).. .....267..............267..............256........ .........11 FaithMD............................... 312..............310..............299............. ....11 Elisabethsew..(Elisabeth).. .....275....... ......275 .............265.................10 juliegeraci..............................232...... ....... 226 Inner_me.....(Chris).............. ..295..............295 Waterlily1072...(Nicole).......... 272..... ........272 Libra..(Angela)....................... 218..............216..............208............. ....8 Lapbandit……...............….... .206……….....206

Have a good time at CP, Brandy. You know how to get ahold of me if you need to, I'm heading up north tonight until Tues. I am keeping my fingers crossed you can get him to talk. You do deserve so much more. You're an amazing lady who has done a great job raising very brilliant kiddos, you should have it all.

Derick, I always sought out the bigger guys. Then again, I am obviously a big girl, and plenty of larger guys prefer little girls. I met my husband on one of the matchmaker sites. It can work, but you do have to do some weeding through the nutcases.

Hello KarenG, this is a pretty popular question, I had to stay overnight and was VERY glad I did. Pain control was taken care of and it was much easier to get in and out of my hospital bed than to get out of my bed at home. Here's some links to many threads that ask your question, I hope you can glean some more information from them: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/length-hospital-stay-35934/ http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/overnight-stay-34522/ http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f84/overnight-stay-33353/ http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f84/how-long-your-hospital-stay-31338/ http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/how-long-your-hospital-stay-28889/ http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/outpatient-1-nights-stay-14085/

Peaches, if you page down to the bottom of this thread, the software now searches for similar threads and provides links. there are a few good ones with great suggeston on them. I wore a loose dress and a NONunderwire bra.

My surgeon told me that he will usually not fill if I am losing well (1-2lbs per week) AND if I'm not starving or feeling that I am working very hard not to eat. I am only a couple of weeks post-op so we'll have to see how I do, but that isn't the first time I've heard of this.

It's amazing how quickly that changes, I've only been banded a little over two weeks and I find myself looking at what people have on their plates and thinking, "How can they eat that much?" I do have moments where I am jealous of the amount of food people are eating. I used to actually like the full/stuffed feeling. But it's only fleeting and the, "Did I really eat that much once?" feeling seems to be there more than anything. Fourth of July was hard, but I was still on full liquids. Though you do what you can to get through. I pureed a small can of baked beans with a fat free hot dog and some tomato juice and catsup and BBQ sauce to make a soup, VOILA! I have sort of a 4th of July meal, but still in liquid form.

Congrats on the date, Nume!!

Yep, in post #4, my other post on this thread. Just look six posts up this page from the one you are reading.

Please keep us updated, Serenity. Glad I was able to help.

ooooo belts, I can't wait to wear belts again. Congrats on all the GREAT NSV's!

Campbell's Soup at Hand is a good product (avoid the ones with tiny Pasta pieces, though), Creamy chicken, Cream of Broccoli, Creamy Tomato, Classic Tomato, Blended Vegetable Medley, Vegetable Beef, Clam Chowder, Creamy Potato are just a few of the options. Very few chunks. Imagine brand soups are also good as are the Gold Label boxed Campbell's soups.