helen098

My condolences of the passing of your grandmother, she sounds like she was a nice person. If you sad, tired, sick , sore, mad, upset it seems like a good idea to eat to make yourself feel better. We have all been there, done that and know it doesn’t help in the long run or even the short term. I will give you the kick in the pants you need/want put down the fried chicken have some yogurt, soup or cereal till you can get some good lean protein. Hurting yourself won’t help you and i am sure your grandmother wouldn’t want you to use her passing as an excuses to fall off the wagon. But since you did don’t beat yourself up...we are in this for a long run....one small slip up doesn’t matter as long as we learn from it and try not to repeat it I have lost all of my grandparents and parents it doesn’t get any easier but the pain does fade and you can celebrate their lives (with good for you food—possible a small drink) Hang in there it will get better

This morning I was 194 (up 2 pounds from last week), this is the first time since by band that I have had a weight gain. The scale has been stuck, not moved went down ¼ of a pound but at my offical Friday weigh in I never was more that the previouse week. I have had a few diviations from my “diet” the past week and am not as regular as I should be so I know it’s not a real weight gain but still I am disgusted. My brain understands all of the above but the scared part of my that worries that I will fail the band is stomping around saying I told you so ..why bother with all the pain, expense to just gain the weight back go eat something to make you feel better….i won’t listen to her I had Cereal for Breakfast, cup of vegatable Soup for lucnch and some nuts a little while ago as a afternoon snack….will have a normal dinner and try ti shut up the voices in my head……wonder if my screwed up relationship with food will ever be “normal”

Aug 22 was my one year anniversary. I spent it having a cat scan (to make sure my band wasn’t wrapped around my stomach) then pooped my pants and had to run across 2nd avenue to get more depends…got to love how exciting my life has been post cancer and post band Lucky the pain appears to just be a pulled muscle which is getting better but still hurts when I lift, in the morning and random times during the day. Will see the lap band surgeon on sep 14 for my escophogram and she will check the pain. Today I was 192 --- when I started I was 235 plus…. Am down to a comfortable size 16 pants and an extra large shirt---just beginning to venture back to the normal ladies department I am no longer afraid of sitting in the middle seat on the subway with 2 normal people on either side… I don’t get that look when I sit in the middle seat I am very glad I got the band..without it I am sure I would be on the very wrong (for me) side of 235 Even though my brain knew it would still be a long difficult right a part of me was hoping it would be a easy fix. It’s wasn’t but it’s ok. I have made even more changes and like the fact that even if my brain turns off and I go crazy eating my band will painfully remind me to stop. I don’t always love the band I have days when I envy others eating what every they want….i get jealous especial eating out when your having a drink and everyone else is slurping down the margaritas and chips and I know if I try I will be in pain and end up throwing up---though I can just blame it on the drinks but I don’t ….. many time I am told why aren’t you eating my new response is I can only splurge on so many calories and I want the drink more than the chips….i find that ends the discussion and after a few more drinks no one is paying any attention to what I am eating/drinking. Sometime I get mad/sad that other on this board are losing so much more weight than I have..then I try to remember some people have a lot more weight to lose and every one’s situation is different I am happy so far and so are all of my docs…I figure if I keep constant by next time this year I will be at my goal 149 ---- or worst case nyu’s goal for me of 159 and a comfortable size 12 When I fit into a smaller size or my clothes are too big I just smile and thank the band for it’s help If I could go back to the day before my surgery I would tell myself yes it’s going to be much harder than you thought but it will get easier you will see results and you will feel much better about yourself this time next year. Don’t’ compare your journey to anyone else’s

I had a Cat scan last week of my abdomen and pelvis I was and still am having pain in my right side under my breast exactly where the gall bladder pain was. Had my period and a stomach bug but the pain won’t go away When to the doc at nyu who sent me for a cat scan Usually stomach issues with the barium…possibly the worst in a few years had diarrhea for 3 days The day before the scan I placed myself on liquids thinking less in less out but no apparently the liquids make things faster The good news other than the very small hernia (that I have been aware of for a few years) every thing form the bottom of my lung to the top of my thigh is normal. They think the pain is a pulled muscle in my stomach from throwing up with the stomach bug I had a few weeks ago Makes me feel real old to pull a muscle throwing up but as we all know getting older is not scary any more it’s very much welcomed and appreciated Love that word normal Hope the onc will accept this scan as my yearly check even though it was done without contrast Didn’t have much scanxiety till I got to the little cold scan room then the fear came rushing back it’s colon, stomach ect cancer Life is good

every time i drink barrium i have diarreh for 2 to 5 days after after lap band surgery i couldn't poop for about 5 days my body may be different becasue a have a shortened colon from colon cancer and weakened muscles from 5 anal fistula surgeries have learned that depends are my friend not the enemy

food is/was and proably will allways be my drug of choice forget the vidoden and give me a steak and some mashed potatoes i have said many times it's like being a drug addact but saying you need some drugs to live i wish we just take a pill (like on the jetsons--am i dating myself?) and not have to shop/prepar/cook/clean up while all the time wanting to like the plates clean the band has helped a lot ...i know if i lick the plate or drink the gravy i will be sick good luck....it gets better ....not easy but better

I also got a pair of sweats for around the house in extra large and they are too big Feels real good I have a few things down to a size 8 Before I decided on the lap band I got sick of looking at stuff that I thought would never fit again So I got rid of most of them…at the time it was like of cleansing ..accept myself as I am kind of day Then I took all of the labels out of my stuff so I didn’t know how fat I was (well I knew but I pretended I didn’t ) Tempted to hit the mall again this weekend…good end of season sales right No think I will save the money for a large or maybe a medium

i am very happy but in me head i am still very big for me it takes a long time for my brain to catch up with my body when i was 152 on chemo i went to express for a shirt and just brushed off the sales person who offered me a size 8 skirt.....it did fit but in my brain i was a 16+ don't expect to get doen to 8 without checmo but i would be very happy to be a size 12.......

Went this weekend for a few thinks and decided to try the regular department To my surprise I was able to fit into a regular size 16 pants (no 16x,no stretch waistband) and normal 16 with a zipper and a button….also fit in a extra large shirt (it did have a little stretch but I am not going to complain) ……………I have been unhappy in the large department for the last 5 years or so I remember in the early 90 shopping in the big department and being happy …the shorted the skirt and the low the top the better…but not for a very long time Was tempted to buy a lot of stuff but it’s almost the end of summer and I think I will save the money for fall clothes….in the regular department….still smiling about that….would never have happened this time without the band So happy I just had to share

i wish i knew you when i was on chemo i would have loved to have said "would say "yup, I did take the easy way" and then give one of those sinester laughs while walking away... Hehe, or you could ask her why she prefers the hard way? see what she says then " ----especial like the nisister laugh part

i want to know her over and eat her cheesburger but then i remember i will proabbaly throw it up and wast a good cheesburger does the rate at which other eat bother anyone else? I swear it's like watching a horse eat

the paper work from nyu said only take pills smaller than a tic tac i read in other places to only take pills no bigger than an M & M at first i was very strict about the tic tac rule....now almost 1 year later i have to admit i have take vitamins and meds that were about the m&m size with no problem

People are stupid I was actually told by many people when I had colon cancer and was undergoing chemo and got down to 152 how LUCKY I was to have lost so much weight My response do you want to trade places with me right now and have cancer….that usually made them run away……… People are stupid

The doc says it’s probably nothing just the stomach bug everyone has and i need an little unfill IT’s not a slip Though when I told her about the feeling of something squeezing my stomach --- she got very serious Said it’s not in my head, it could be that the band tubing is wrapped around an organ It’s not life threatening but can be very painful….she took out the last fill and by the time I left nyu felt better… the pain is about 85% gone but still hurts a little…I am supposed to call on fri and if I am still in pain she will order a cat scan……. Have been under a lot of stress (not band related) the past 2 weeks and wonder if the stress and the overfill are causing the problem….don’t want a scan if I can avoid it (since the colon cancer in 2006 I have had a lot of scans) but don’t want to be silly and miss a problem because of a scan. I think if I still have the pain tomorrow morning I will call and if the doc wants schedule the cat scan When does life get any easier?

I have an appointment in a few hours with the surgeon but want to see if this is normal On aug 3 I got a fill – did the 2 days liquids – then when I started the soft food started to not feel so good. Stomach hurt and I had diarrhea I didn’t think it was weird because the liquid diet usually gives me diarrhea (I am missing a chunk of my colon from the colon cancer and have bowel control issued due to the 5 surgeries on my ass for the anal fistula) I also had my period (more pain, cramps and diarrhea) I was eating very little and feeling very crummy On wed last week I had bad stomach problems diarrhea so bad I couldn’t leave the house Got a little better by the weekend but still not normal…tried on sun/mon this week to eat real foods (not hungry though) and after a few bites I felt nauseous and stopped. I still have pain in my stomach were the port is, the pain is a dull constant pain that gets worst when I eat or drink. I kind of feel like my stomach is being squeezed (not sure if this is in my head or my stomach) Had diarrhea twice today at work after eating and still have the stomach pain. Called the doc office at nyu and they said to come in this afternoon I hope it’s just the stomach bug everyone around me has…maybe I need a slight unfill Hope it’s not bad…I am deathly afraid of the port slipping Wish me luck

At nyu it’s the same price, the surgeon makes you sign paper work that if she finds a hernia you are authorizing her to fix it….same out of pocket cost to the patient but I wonder if they get more money from the insurance company?? At nyu it’s the same price, the surgeon makes you sign paper work that if she finds a hernia you are authorizing her to fix it….same out of pocket cost to the patient but I wonder if they get more money from the insurance company??

My weight loss has been very slow, was sidetracked by my gallbladder for a long time I started last aug (aug 22 to be exact) at 230+ i didn’t even look the day of surgery as I didn’t want to know. This morning I weighed in at 194….. I try to keep myself from beating myself up for not doing better….i am trying to remember if I didn’t have the surgery last aug I would be up to at least 240 and miserable Bought a 1x shirt yesterday that is a little big…..i figure by winter I will be back in the regular department –look out credit cards

Was 198.8 this morning It’s been rough, I had my gallbladder out on April 2 and still can’t eat normal When I try to eat protein like we are supposed to first my stomach hurts and I get diarrhea sometimes almost immediately. So I have been eating more veggies (but then I am hungry) but it seems to be working I am down a total of 31 + pounds since aug 22 Can’t go back to the gym till I see the surgeon on may 22 but have been waking Also will get my cpap for my very mild sleep apnea in 1 ½ weeks so hopefully that will also help as my pulmonary doc says the sleep apnea could also be messing with my diet and metabolism it’s been a long road but things are starting to look up--- won’t be able to wear the short shirt this summer but look out new years eve 2012 Thanks for listening

Doesn’t seem like my body likes all of this healthy living. As of today’s date I am down 26 and ½ pounds since last sep, very happy about this as I haven’t been this light (ha ha ha ) for about 3 years or so. I have gone down a size (yay size 16) but still on the wrong side of 200 (it will happen soon, it will happen soon) But I feel like crap….i am so tired all the time….am sleeping 9 hours during the week and at least 11 on the weekend and still want a nap when I wake up…..have no energy to do anything at all…can’t concentrate at work … am late a lot …. And in real trouble with the boss And have had 3 gallbladder attacks (one at thanksgiving then 4 weeks ago and twice 2 weeks ago) Have seen 2 internists, eye doc (had pink eye for a month—fingers crossed it’s gone) the weight loss department at nyu had tons of blood work (all normal except for Vitamin d I am at 26 and normal starts at 30) and a ultrasound ( not normal shows many small stones), talked to my pulmonary/primary doc and onc and they all say I have textbook gallbladder symptoms and it must come out---not an emergency but I have to do it…….i have an appointment with the surgeon who did my band on mac 30 (Dr. Ren Fielding) sure she will schedule surgery soon While I am upset about the gallbladder ---- this will be my 12th surgery and 19th time I am knocked out And wonder how much of this crap I can take? The fatigue is my biggest concern…. All the blood except for the low vitamin D- which all the docs says should not cause the fatigue but have upped it to 5000mg a day Next step another sleep study --- on mar 22-- I feel almost as bad as during chemo ….. At 5 years post chemo I expected to feel much better……I don’t Honestly I felt much better post cancer …. I was only 179 was eating anything I wanted (within reason) No exercise and felt good …..now I have neuropathy, poop my pants sometimes, arthritis, exama, gall stones, poss sleep apnea can’t have a glass of milk and a cookie at the same time Thanks for letting my rant, just feels like life stinks right now and am afraid of what’s coming I am only 47 and don’t deserve all of this I had the surgery to feel better and not feel worst

taking a multi vit, Iron , Vitamin d, calcum and vit c

I have been going to all of my follow up appointments, the crummy feeling has been there a while but I keep brushing it off …thought it was from the surgery, then the new diet then just normal stuff ( to much work ect)…but I now know something is definitely wrong and won’t stop till I get an answer I thought once I started to lose weight that I would feel better not worst

I was banded on aug 22, so far 22 pounds lost…. I little slower than I would have liked but the scale is going in the right direction finally. I have been sicker over the last two months than the last 5 years So far I have had bronchitis, two stomach bugs, an eye infection in each eye and that past weekend food poisoning …the more weight I lose the crapier I feel I am sleeping 9 hours during the week and 10-12 on the weekend and am still tired,…. I am late for work and just have no energy to dealt with the usual bs….. I wonder what’s wrong with me? I think it could either be the diet, could be causing gallstones Or the methadone for my neuropathy ( have been taking 10mg once a day for about a year for the pain… I had an appointment this morning at NYU but they cancelled it do to the doctor’s emergency.. The first appointment they have is not till Feb 28….have a script for blood work and an appointment for Feb 16….and another appointment for an internist on feb 22 …and if none of they help will see the pain management doc in March While I know you are not docs but does anyone else have this type of problem. I would love to hear that I am not crazy.

weird i was going to start a post like this i was banded on aug and despite a very slow weight loss ( only 20 pounds so far) my period has been very weird ... a week or so late and alot a cramps saddly no sex so it's not that I have told a few of my many docs and they all say the same thing it could be a combination of things...surgery, weight loss, meds , and you are now 47

Not with the band – but when I was on chemo I couldn’t have anything cold for over six months and after about 2 months of wamr I would have dreams of ice cream and how good it would taste. Never did taste as good as in my dreams….at that time I was also having xrated dreams everything..never with the ice cream though I don’t think you are crazy….it’s just your mind

the problem is i am hungry but if i try to eat (liquids and solid food) at the same time it hurts and i end up throwing up