former_vbg

I've decided to get back out in the dating scene. I am struggling to get to final goal, keeping bouncing up and down a few #, but I will get there soon I'm sure of it.
Anyhow, had a friend at work take some pics of me today and to my amazement I liked almost all of them. The one I didn't like you could see a bit of a pooch in my tummy area despite that I'm wearing a compression shirt in these photos but small price to pay for feeling so much better!

I've decided to get back out in the dating scene. I am struggling to get to final goal, keeping bouncing up and down a few #, but I will get there soon I'm sure of it.
Anyhow, had a friend at work take some pics of me today and to my amazement I liked almost all of them. The one I didn't like you could see a bit of a pooch in my tummy area despite that I'm wearing a compression shirt in these photos but small price to pay for feeling so much better!

I've decided to get back out in the dating scene. I am struggling to get to final goal, keeping bouncing up and down a few #, but I will get there soon I'm sure of it.
Anyhow, had a friend at work take some pics of me today and to my amazement I liked almost all of them. The one I didn't like you could see a bit of a pooch in my tummy area despite that I'm wearing a compression shirt in these photos but small price to pay for feeling so much better!

The honeymoon phase is the first 3 to 6 months after surgery where people by and large experience the fastest part of their weight loss. The first month tends to be fairly good weight loss and then there is the transition from liquids to mushies (most have the 3 week stall when they transition to food because your body is adjusting to the change), but the it usually picks back up because at that point you should be able to incorporate some form of exercise into your routine to help facilitate your weight loss. But basically, its' the first 3 to 6 months after surgery. I hope that helps.

Too funny!!! I'm single, so I can toot at home as much as I like. Sometimes though when I can feel one coming, I have this fear that I won't make it out of hearing/ smell range quick enough. Then, god forbid it just sneaks up on ya. This actually happened to me when I was in a guy's cube at work. I was doomed. I was sitting down and he was showing me some stuff on his computer. I knew if I stood up, I wouldn't make it out of the cube, so I was hoping my butt would keep the smell in the chair--- yeah, that didn't work. He didn't say anything, but I know he noticed. I was quite embarrassed but pretended like nothing happened. Those poor office chairs..... I tell ya.... sure makes a person think twice about getting a used office chair for one's personal use... LOL

You are absolutely right in everything you said. I say that as someone who JUST in the past couple months is able to say I can wear size 4 slacks and size 5/6 jeans and let me tell you- it is absolutely freakin FABULOUS!!! That moment when you realize that you need yet another smaller size and you question in your head, "how can that be...?" and then try that smaller size in the dressing room and you want to throw a party bigger than New Years Eve right then and there, shouting from the roof tops that YOU MADE IT!!! I say this, because that WAS ME!! Unfortunately, I was shopping alone as I usually do, but it was still great! And, you know what, I did call friends and they celebrated right with me!!!
Everyone will have their own goals, but I sincerely believe it is ok to want the things you mentioned. Being able to slip into tight spaces because you are so petite. That sliding past crowded seats to sit next to the empty window seat won't bring sighs of despair from those you have to glide past, but rather maybe a few glances at your slimming figure!
You go for it! Enjoy it and Celebrate IT!!!

I feel much the same way about this site being the reason for much of my success. While its still up to us individually to do what we know to do, being able to come here and read about other people at all different stages of their journey is helpful beyond words. Even though I'm nearly at goal, I find it helpful to read others who are still at different stages of their weight loss journey. It helps remind me of the different struggles I have experienced, and it is also sometimes a reality check for me that the struggle isn't over just because I reach goal. I have learned a lot about myself during this journey, particularly how carb sensitive my body is and how sugar triggers such horrible demons for me. I only hope that I stay in touch with the things I have learned over the coming years so that I can sustain this weight loss. It seems silly if not almost stupid to think "why would a person allow that to happen after working that hard....", but the sad fact is that when we get into those self destructive spirals sometimes they can become really difficult to stop.
Here's to healthy living for all of us!

Too funny!!! I'm single, so I can toot at home as much as I like. Sometimes though when I can feel one coming, I have this fear that I won't make it out of hearing/ smell range quick enough. Then, god forbid it just sneaks up on ya. This actually happened to me when I was in a guy's cube at work. I was doomed. I was sitting down and he was showing me some stuff on his computer. I knew if I stood up, I wouldn't make it out of the cube, so I was hoping my butt would keep the smell in the chair--- yeah, that didn't work. He didn't say anything, but I know he noticed. I was quite embarrassed but pretended like nothing happened. Those poor office chairs..... I tell ya.... sure makes a person think twice about getting a used office chair for one's personal use... LOL

After researching it, I haven't found where carbonation stretches your stomach. I like energy drinks. I don't have to have a soda. I work at night and I used to drink half of one. (I work one night a week). I don't ever drink the whole. I know that this is totally loaded with sugar so this is why I am undecisive about it. Since before and after surgery, I have been pretty much sticking to the sugar free or at least as little as I can. I am going to work tonight for the first time in 10weeks and I want one. I am going to have one and let it Water down. I am sure that I cannot have even half now without the effects of feeling jittery. I don't feel bad because we had surgery and made a lifetime change. We did not sign a death certificate or one where we should not experience the things that make us happy. We should treat ourselves sometimes within moderation. Like my doc says, you have to see what works with your body. You choose because only you have to live with consequences.

Okay... I LOVE MY SLEEVE!!! That outta the way I just want to complain a little bit. Some things about being sleeved really chap me. Why am I putting this in the pre-sleeve section? So everyone knows what to look forward to.

I'M FREEZING COLD ALL OF THE TIME!!! Even in Summer...
...Um...
...Let's see...
...Well...
...Yeah...

Oh Geez... that's all I can think of.

I've been waiting for your post! I need to do mine. I love that you're still coming around and sharing your experience. You haven't had an easy journey but you've done a truly fantastic job.
You will eventually hit your goal - you're just going to have a slow time of it, same as the rest of your journey. I understand how frustrated you've gotten along the way. But oh my gosh, what a change! Isn't it worth the effort, even if it's slow going and aggravating as hell at times?
You look beautiful and it's apparent even in your pictures that you're slowing regaining some confidence. You've earned this body you're in right now - enjoy it, lady!
I'm very happy for you. I, personally, enjoy your input here on the boards. I think it's necessary for newbies to realize that just as weight loss programs aren't one-size-fits-all, life post sleeve isn't the same for everyone, either. I think if more people had better, healthier expectations, we wouldn't see half of the posts here that we see!
Best of luck to you on your continued journey, and congrats! You really do look awesome!
~Cheri

I only told my husband and I told him not to tell anyone else. But he told a friend of his, so I'm sure it's leaked out to other people. I decided not to tell other people myself because I didn't want to get from other people the same shocked and horrified look I got from my husband when I first told him that I wanted the surgery. He wasn't supportive at first, but he finally came around.
Remember, a person is smart; PEOPLE are stupid. I just didn't want to have to explain it over and over to everyone. The office I work in is filled with gossipy, bitchy, small-minded people and the last thing I needed was to be the subject of all that negative behavior. Nor did I tell my friends. I'm not really sure why, but I felt it was very, very personal and none of their business. They know my weight goes up and down, and can even fluctuate as much as 50 pounds within just a few months. So my weight loss won't really be that big of a surprise to them. They've seen me at 165 and they've seen me at 255.
I didn't tell my family either. I don't get along with them all that well, and again, I felt it was none of their business. They're all lifetime yo-yo dieters anyway.
But I think it's different for everyone, and only you can decide what's best for you.

Some people do still report being hungry after surgery. Now, whether that is their head hunger talking, I don't know. The thing is if they don't figure out the difference between head hunger and read hunger, it's a moot point because they may not be likely to stick to the plan and eat stuff they shouldn't. Personally, from listening/ reading hundreds of posts over the past 2 years, it would seem to me that besides someone figuring out the difference between head hunger and real hunger is the technique used by the surgeon. I know there is a lot of differing opinions about whether the size of the bougie used really matters- but I really think it does. And, then to take that a step further... some surgeons sew a good way out from the bougie because they are afraid of the hour glass syndrome that they think might cause complications/ blockage.
At the end of the day, (and I know you know this), people who have the surgery must make a commitment to a lifestyle change- period. It is a life saving operation, but it's still just a tool.

I haven't read through all the posts here, just now saw this thread actually....
NONE of my family know I had surgery. The closest relative lives 8 hours away and I did go back and see a few family members last Fall, they saw I had lost a fair amt of weight. I think I was weighing around 190 then... I am not all that close to my family and many of them are just so quick to make judgmental / critical statements about things they know nothing about.
I have told a few close friends that I knew I would be able to count on for their support and this has worked well for me. There is only the HR person at work that took my paperwork that knows I had the surgery and that is it. When people compliment me on my weight loss and then ask the inevitable question, "how did you do it", I simply tell them that I cut out sugar and processed foods and focused on dense Protein and vegetables. I am not lying. I am simply omitting that I had surgery to help me stay on that eating track. It's quite frankly none of their business. Yes, some would probably be very supportive if I told them about the surgery, but I am just not interested in taking the chance of backroom conversations that I would likely hear bits and pieces through the rumor mill. I'm there to do a job, that's what they pay me to do.
It is a personal decision. But, I am also very private about everything in my life. I barely have a FB account only because a few friends insisted. I don't even use my real last name. Anyways, good luck with whatever you decide to do.

I am keeping mine a secret. I have only told a select few- dad, hubby, son, and 3 friends and my boss- no one at work. A lot of people are judgmental, and I just don't want to hear anything they have to say. I try to keep myself and those around me positive. So I feel the same way as you. We don't have to validate anything to anyone. Our lives, and we are on a mission to get healthy. Good luck with your journey. I am still waiting to to get sleeved. No one's business but ours. I posted something similar to this - check my previous post.

I researched ALL of the surgeries as I personally believe everyone should so they are making an informed decision. Yes, the OH site is another good place to read and see what people's experiences are. It's a very large site simply because there are dedicated threads for ALL of the different WLS. There are more surgeries being done than just the sleeve, band and DS.... just that the others are either still experimental, modifications of the main three or just have not had the same type of success as the other three and so are not well known.
I also didn't want the complications of life long blood panels and such. Also, while the DS does tend to make it easier to choose less than healthy foods, it is also still a tool. I know a couple people who have actually regained weight on the DS surgery. It always amazes me when people have surgery and just assume they don't have any accountability afterwards.
Good luck with your research. I applaud you for doing it, many do not.

I'm ALL for bluntness when the need arises, but saying someone isn't ready for surgery just because they are struggling w/the pre-op diet is just not fair. I don't hear him saying he isn't following it, but that the occasional cheating is really difficult. That is WHY we have this surgery, to have a tool to HELP us with our will power.
I am confident he will do just fine.

Was shocked when I saw the scale this morning- dropped 2# overnight. That's in addition to what I had already lost. Amazed, happy, ecstatic, all those adverbs!! This has been an especially stressful week with work and I think that is actually why I had such a large weight loss this week. I was recently moved under a new boss who has a history of having issues working with women, particularly direct reports. The last two women quit while working for her because of the problems. I fear I may have the same fate in the future.... Not a good way to lose weight, but I'm not going to let her drive me to my old way of dealing with stress!!
Current weight: 124
Labor Day Goal and Final Goal weight: 120

We need to give him a little slack though here. To compare the difficulty of being on liquids before surgery and after surgery is almost night and day. Prior to surgery, we are relying soley on our own willpower and well, let's face it, if that's all it took- none of us would need surgery. Post surgery, our entire body has gone through shock and physically most people don't have that same sensation of hunger. I won't say everyone is like that, but I think that is most.
Anyhow, just do the best you can on this and understand that if your surgeon is really strict on the pre-op diet that you risk having to reschedule your surgery. Probably not unless you really blow it, but it's something you want to look into.

Just remember we are here for you.

I had to add my 2 cents on the needy thing. I met a wonderful man some years back that seemed to adore me. He was well-to-do, had his own place in Costa Rica and treated me well.
One thing. He was very needy and seemed to latch onto me immediately. He called multiple times daily. You'd think a single girl would eat that up.
Well, if sort of freaked me out a bit. I felt horrible, but I had to say no to him. It was the hardest thing to do - to tell someone that you are not interested.
My to be husband came on the scene and he was confident and fun. I guess needy scares me a bit personally.

Having this surgery is the tool that will help you control your portion sizes and if you will stick to your Dr.'s eating plan which is typically HIGH Protein, veggies w/some fruits- you will do just fine. This doesn't mean you can't have a treat once in awhile, or that you might not get off track. But, the key is for you to be committed to the lifestyle change. Understand what will be expected of you and you will do just fine.

I think you are very realistic. My surgeon has a goal that is for me to lose 67% of my excess weight because that is the average of weight loss surgery patients. However, he even told me "but you don't have to stop there" - that weight would meet his statistic, but I've seen countless people lose all their excess weight & I want to do the same! I'm not stopping at that 67% number because that's not where I want to personally be. They just have to have a number, but that doesn't mean your number has to match theirs!!

I share some of the same challenges in terms of being single and feeling like being a hypocrite. I also have another perspective I wanted to share that I think you might want to think about.
I had a different WLS 15 years ago, the gastric banded gastroplasty. I actually did pretty well, and about the 160# mark I met someone. I was in my late 20's and although I had dated some prior to that, it had been many years at that point since I had been in a serious relationship. I got immediately sucked in by all the feelings a person experiences when they have the attention of another person paying attention to you. I was feeling great with my transformation and all the attention I was getting.
Here is the problem. He wasn't really all that overweight, a potbelly, but he had horrible eating habits. A few months into the relationship I did tell him I had had WLS, and expressed that I really needed to start eating better. I was constantly tempted around foods that were not going to help me stay on track. It wasn't that he wasn't supportive of ME doing it, but he had no intentions of changing his ways which in a way I guess isn't totally out of line. It would have been nice if he would have taken some steps to improve his eating habits while we were together, but he didn't seem all that affected by his poor lifestyle choices.
Moral of the story, I ended up regaining about 30# in that relationship that lasted about 2 years. I'm not blaming him, but I'm just going to say that being around someone who doesn't share your same healthy lifestyle habits is like drinking in front of an alcoholic everyday. That's pretty tough, ESPECIALLY when someone is still trying to get to goal or even at maintenance.
I have tried some online dating at this point, and although I'm not now due to my busy schedule- because of that experience I just mentioned, one of my criterias when dating is that it isn't about what they look like as much as their lifestyle habits. Ok, so logic says if they aren't at a healthy weight then their eating/ exercise habits may not be great which is quite possible but not always. I will not get in another relationship where the other person does not already practice healthy lifestyle choices. That doesn't mean I expect or even want someone who is a gym rat- that doesn't appeal to me either.
Think about what you need to support you in your life goals and this should include your desire to reach or maintain your goal weight. It's not hypocritical in my opinion to turn down being in a relationship with someone who is overweight because I'm not turning them down because of their weight but because I don't think they are healthy for me. I hear periodically of situations where people start dating and they become motivated by that other person to become healthier as well. They have to want to do it for themselves or it won't last, but I guess I'm just saying don't be afraid to set your own standards and stick to them.
I also concur with the others about just dating to have fun. You can find a way to slide into the conversation that you haven't been dating in awhile and just want to meet a bunch of people right now so that he knows up front that you aren't interested in getting serious. This way if he asks you out again, he won't automatically assume it has as much to do with his looks as it might be that you are out "shopping" around.
Have fun with it!!
I wanted to add one last thing here. I ended up regaining a bunch more later on, but because I had already regained approximately 30#, I got into a really bad pattern that I wasn't able to stop. Don't let this happen to you!

Good on you for putting yourself out there!!!
Can I put my two cents in here (as I am a professional matchmaker & dating coach)?
Girl..... You need to get out there and DATE!!! Meet men of all shapes and sizes, men of all interests and activities and have some fun with it! Its OK to get to know someone and not fall in love with them. Besides.... You need dating practice and isnt it better to test-drive men that you arent a bumbling drooling gaga girl over?
You dont owe one iota of explanation or shouldnt feel obligated if there is no attraction (you cant force chemistry) but you should be up front with the men by saying something to the effect of "im so glad we can be friends and perhaps we can help each other navigate the crazy world of dating."
Enjoy this time in your life, go getcha groove on and dont worry.... We all have to kiss a few frogs before we found our princes!!