bilka

She didn't throw a tantrum. Of curse she said that it's wrong that it's all psychological and I shouldn't do it abroad. Problem: I can't do it here. She doesn't listen though, she call her psychiatrist friend and told her I want to do it abroad. I called her too and she asked me why I wouldn't wait and do it in Italy. Apparently no-one listens to me: I CAN'T, it's ILLEGAL. She did understand (but my sis didn't). So I asked her to give me a name of a colleague of hers who can help me before and after the surgery. My sister doesn't think much of psychologists because they didn't attend medical school, like psychiatrists did. My sister tried to tell me that I can't do such a thing to my mum who will be here worried about me while I am abroad having surgery. Seriously: are we playing the mum-card now? No way I'll fall for that. My mother should be worried for me now and here, not while getting a 30 minute laparoscopic surgery that will change my life in a great way. So, from my side I have reached a compromise: I will attend a psychiatrist (instead of my dear psychologist) and will keep going to the OA. From her side... Well, she'll have to accept my surgery sooner or later. I feel stronger. I think the idea of the surgery is making me more self-conscious, which is already great...

Congratulations! A great Xmas present!

Thank you so much for ALL your comments. I really need your support. I have decided I am going to talk to her tonight (which is here in a couple of hours). I went to my weekly OA meeting this afternoon and I feel stronger now. We talked about family anger and forgiveness. I think I can do it and I specially can live with the consenquences. You are all right, I DO NOT need her approval, as much as she doesn't need mine and never asked for it. I actually know we have kind of a sick relationship but sometimes I think she and my mother are all I have of a family. No cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents nor a father. And my fiance's family is really far (I actually love my parents and brothers in-law). This is probably one of the reason why we have got this unhealthy relationship. Thank goodness I have a great and healthy relantionship with my mother... Anyway, yes I can survive even if she won't talk to me or if she'll think the least of me. Few years ago I left Europe in order to get some freedom and cut my family a bit out of my life. I managed to stay away 3 years (great time, actually: I worked and lived in Thailand, Japan, Australia and South korea) but then I came back for a holiday and met the love of my life So here I am and nothing has changed, I have learnt that running away doesn't really solve any problem.. Back to my sister she does trust my opinion and talks to me a lot about her now ex-husband, about the kids, about her friends and feelings. She is not a monster, but she is very hard to deal with. And that's just in the family; she actually is a very good and understanding doctor whom her patients love (I hear all their comments!) and she is a good friend. As we know, we all give the worst to our family! I did support her in all your choices, even when she left home without telling anyone and went living with a married man whom my mother didn't approve. The two didn't talk to each other 7 years, I was caught in the bloody middle and never complained! I think I have done enough. I guess she could support me for once. PS: about telling my sister that I love her... We never did in our lives! We never even hugged! Not gonna happen! And there you think Italians were lonving and affectionate!

So... Done?

Here I am again and I'd really need some help. I have told my partner and my mum and they are both supportive. My diabetologist is enthusiastic and happy for me. My hairdresser told me I'll have to keep her updated step by step. I have a date: the 8th February and my sister-in-law is coming with me to Athens, she is great and I love my fiancé’s family. I mean, even his mum is somehow supportive. So, 5 people know so far. It's now time to tell my sister. I am so worried of her reaction. Seriously, compared to telling her the surgery is nothing. I have to tell her asap, surgery is in less than 2 months and can't allow her to feel like I did everything behind her back until the last day before surgery. She is older than me (43 and I am 29) and she always acted like a father to me, because we didn't have one. She is very strict and can easily spend months without talking to me, she did it in the past when I did something she didn't like. I go to the swimming pool twice a week with her, so no way she's not gonna notice AND she is my family doctor (I'll have to ask her for medicines) and I work for her twice a week (she'll definitely notice my absence) and I have one of her kids over every Wednesday night. So, we do have a close relationship. Don’t forget I am Italian and family is everything here. I also have only a mother and my sister as a family, no one else. My in-laws live 600 kilometers away. She also struggled all her life with her weight but not like me. She has a lot of self control and at the moment she is perfectly fit. She loves swimming and trekking and doesn’t have many problems. This is why she will be very disappointed (not to say angry) when I’ll tell her, even if my diabetologist thinks it is a great thing. She loves to control my and my mother’s lives she really is a control-freak and I am afraid she’ll think I am not a good example for her kids because I am failure. Lately she has been worse than usual coz she lost her husband last summer (and seeing that no one here lives nearby I can tell you: she was leaving him and he killed himself), so things are bad. She is acting weird even though she doesn’t really miss him (they had a VERY difficult relationship and she had been trying to leave him for the last 3 years): she is overwhelmed with responsibilities with the 2 kids. How do you tell such a person? My fiancé told me I should have him close to me when I tell her so she won’t freak out too much. But what words should I use? How do I make her understand me?

I am getting sleeved in February but I am already planning what to tell people and friends...:evil: 1st option: you might tell people that you got a gastric balloon. It'll last 6 or 12 months and you have to follow a precise diet and can't eat quickly. i amena this can work, it is not surgery and it is not definitive, people shouldn't be too judgemental. Later on, you'll say that you got used to that way of eating and you like to keep going on like this because it worked so well on you. 2nd option: you tell them you found a new diet guru. Imagine a surname, something exotic, or just something Italian (I can give you ideas about Italian surnames, but Dr. Rossi always works). You tell them thay he gave you a precise diet and precise orders to follow. You can add as many details as you like (say that you meditate every morning as well for example). Although keeping it simple helps avoiding contraddictions in the future. When they see that you lose a lot of weight they'll understand why you adore your new dietician. I think I am going to use option number 2, but I still am not sure right now. I hope these 2 ideas can inspire you...

Hello! I am 29 and I'll be getting the surgery in February, a month after my 30th birthday. I have the same BMI as you and also decided not to tell anyone. It's actually my decision and people here so judgemental. People who know: partner, mum, hairdresser and you all. People who will know: my sister some day before surgery and my best friend (a male who doesn't gossip) So don't worry, everyone does what she/he feels like. The result is the same: you'll lose your weight. And a smile to the people who will compliment you on your weight loss will be eloquent enough, no need to even say "thank you"!

I guess it happens everywhere (even here in Italy)... A lady I met a couple of times has been gaining weight since she was approved for surgery. It didn't go well for her and almost ended up in the ER coz she couldn't walk nor breath anymore and now she's fnally on a diet waiting for her surgery. So I guess it's normal, but don't worry: her BMI was much higher (more or less 59), so of course it was different for her and had problems with the sudden weight gain...

Thank you SO much for all the info!

Hello! First of all I am italian so please forgive all my grammatical mistakes! I haven't been sleeved yet, right now I am doing my research... I read all the great comments about the surgeons in Mexico and I have been seriously considering them, I am worred about the jet lag and the long trip on the way back... That's why I have been in contact with both Belgium and dr. Cierny in Czech Republic. My main problem is that my BMI isn't that high (34) but my reason to get sleeved is really the fact that I have type 1 diabetes since I was 10 (I am now 30). I have obesity history in the family as well. My intake of insulin is way too high (due to the food I ingurgitate every day) and my body is not responding the way it used too. I am also extremely worried about the long term consequences of a bad managed diabetes. I am SERIOUSLY worried. not long ago I went to a nutritionist last week who told me that I get way too much insulin for a normal body and that my situation it looks more like a diabetes 2 than 1 and I should be worried about the consequences. The only thing I would be considered for here in Italy is the BIB and I have been seriously thinking about it. Until I realized that it won't be a good thing for me. I can't lose again weight and gain it back. It would destroy me and mess up completely my diabetes. Here in Italy with my BMI only diabetics of type 2 get surgery, for type1it is not legal to get it. And I am so tired of hearing that. It has nothing to do with it but when I was younger I passed all the tests to become a flight attendant but at the very end I was told that only type2 can do the job. Type1 can't. I have been thinking about it for a long time and I am sure it's the right thing for me to do. It is not a shortcut, it is not a caprice. I think it's the only thing for me to do. Dr. Cierny is not sure about giving my surgery for the same reason. And I am sorry because I read great things about him here. In Belgium would be ok, I just haven't heard much the doctor who would perform the surgery: Dr. Toon Sonneville. I mean I saw an interview with him I read about him and his Gastric bypass surgeries but I couldn't find anything about the Sleeve... So, so far this is my story... Now I am waiting up to get the final sentence from Dr. Cierny and to get the references from Dr. Sonneville...