Sombra1718

Wow that is worrisome. I have never been diagnosed with an eating disorder by any doctors or psychologists but I also never specifically asked if they thought I had an eating disorder. But that does sound about right. I will definently look for a therapist who can help me with it. I know there will be times that I will probably "fall off the wagon" and even binge but I would do that without the band too. Hopefully the fact that I spent so much money, and some pain, and effort to have it put in and that it will help me if I follow the rules will help keep me motivated. I don't think I can be any worse off than I already am. Ashley

<FONT face=Georgia><STRONG>Hello eveyone, I am currently in my first week of pre-op diet. My insurance requires three months pre-op diet. The last three weeks will be liquid diet. If everything goes to plan I should be banded in April or May. I was weighed in last week at 354lbs. I am 5'5" and just turned 24. I have been considering surgery for many years but decided that I liked Lap Band the best about a year ago. I am not worried about the actual surgery itself but I am terrified about what might happen after I am banded. Background: My mother said I was born wanting food. She said she could not breast feed me for very long because I was always so hungry. I have always been an overeater and it became apparent when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade. I had some very traumatic events (just like everyone else) like parent's devorce and accident/coma/brain dammage/and finally death of my father. There was a large amount of weight gain after each of these events. I am absolutely a comfort eater. I have done many diets...and weightwatchers which I really enjoy but I never seem to last for more than a few months. I am capable of loosing weight and I do when I put effort into it but the big issue is that I have not found a coping skill for stress or anxiety to replace food. (I have very severe anxiety/panic attack and some depression) The first thing I would look forward to when I woke up was what I could eat and when I was on diets or weightwatchers I would almost be depressed and feel like I didn't really have anything to look forward to when I woke up. I constantly have cravings for food and when I can't have it I really really want it. It all sounds so very negitive but there are some things that are positive as well. I truly enjoy working out (although I have not been working out for the past couple years). I was a competitive swimmer in highschool and would love to find a swimming team of some sort once I am in better shape and not so embarrassed to be in a swim suit. I think that I was blessed with some good genetics because even though I weigh so much my body has kept an "hourglass" shape (just a thick hourglass) so with less weight I think I can be happy with my body. I know the band is just a tool and wont help with my mental issues with food. I am just very afraid that I will always crave food as badly as I do now and because of that be miserable. Did anyone else feel that way? Ashley