lyndeeboo

Thank ladies! I LOVE this place! You are all wayyyyy too good for a girl's self-esteem!

I'm so encouraged by all of you that have had this surgery and seem to have no major regrets. Thank you for taking the time to be so supportive.

It's good to be going through all this angst now and get it out of your system.. My favorites that will go away are beer and champagne - no carbonated drinks, not to mention the alcohol. But the feeling of being finally at your proper weight will be so great, you won't mind the changes in your diet. I hate running, too. I walk.

You're so right that all of this should be gotten out of my system before surgery - - and it's funny, I had completely forgotten that I had written this post. I think having this forum and getting my thoughts out there, my feelings validated, but then being given the tools and encouragement to know that I've got this had helped me SO much. I'm happy I put those thoughts down when I did because somehow I think I've gotten past some of them and for me that's a small victory

I absolutely agree that once I'm on my way to getting to a healthy weight hopefully the changes I've made will be easier!

Thank you for your comments and good luck in your journey

Your post really hit home with me too. I think all of us with kids, especially younger kids, have similar moments. Mine was a few weeks ago when my daughter (she's 3) asked me for a piggyback ride and then said "It doesn't work. You're too big!" when her legs didn't fit around me like they do when her daddy gives the ride. Ouch! But definitely affirmed my decision to move forward with my surgery. Now, I am excited and looking forward to the day when I can give her that piggyback ride properly!

Exactly! I'm looking forward to those moments when I'm not "too big" to do things with them! It's kind of silly when I think about myself....I'm scared to have surgery for ME (afraid of pain, complications, etc) but then when I think of THEM and their future with me being so unhealthy and out of shape it's almost like I get a false sense of bravery and for a brief moment forget about MY fears because I owe it to THEM. Ahhhh, if I can just keep up this bravery until AFTER I have surgery

I'm so excited for you!!! I'm still in the waiting to be approved stage...submitted 11 days ago and the wait is killer! Knowing that you're in the liquid pre-op stage - - as hard as I'm sure it is - - must be so exciting since it's making it seem REAL!

Best of luck to you with everything - Pre-op, surgery, post-op, etc. I hope it all goes nice and smooth and really quick!

By the way, your pic is beautiful!

Thank you ladies. It's so nice to have the support of others who actually KNOW what I'm going through instead of always hearing "Well if you'd just eat less..." from well-meaning people.

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog post! I appreciate the support! I wrote it when the feelings were SO raw so that when I lost this motivation I could go back and read it and reread over and over again...I'm sure I will have moments when I'm afraid but those won't compare to what I felt last night.

Thank you SO much for the support. I love this place

Ha! Way to work that sleeve you sexy thang!!!

..But this post is WORTHLESS without a picture! Put up or shut up

Thanks girlie

Oh sweet lady! I could have written this post myself but since I'm having a 'strong' day I can tell you this: you ARE doing the right thing IF this is what you want! Nothing in life is ever easy, but you have to just keep rolling with the punches. I am like you in not telling anyone (besides a few close friends and my husband) that I'm having surgery. I've had to go to wayyyyy too many appointments and I feel like my boss and coworkers HAVE to know something is up...then again, maybe they're all too busy to notice? I hope so

Don't be so hard on yourself! It sucks that you're having so much come up over and over again that seems like it's getting in the way, but the fact remains that you're still trucking along and that is GREAT!

Take one day at a time, celebrate your successes (like the candy bar - - yay you!!!) and I'm sure your surgery date will be here before you know it!!!

I can TOTALLY relate! I WANT this surgery, yet one of my fears is that I will become depressed when I can't eat as MUCH of my favorite things as I used to...how silly! It's not that I can't eat my favorite things, it's that I can't eat AS MUCH...and I wonder if that will make me depressed! SO DUMB that I let food control me the way that it does.

I haven't had those thoughts lately....this past week my thoughts have been how NICE it will be to have some new (smaller outfits)...ummm yeah. I don't think I will even have surgery until August, yet I'm already NOT doing any shopping because I want smaller outfits...I can't wait for the surgery so my skinny body can catch up with my skinny mind

Just wanted to wish you luck! Originally I was wanting to be banded...thought it was less scary than permanently being sleeved...but the more i thought about it and researched it, the more the sleeve looked to be the way for me to go.

I hope your journey is quick and uneventful and you're on your road to being sleeved soon

I love your testimony!!! Way to give God all of the glory and to trust in Him!!!

I want to follow responses. Up until this point I've thought I will tell people what you have told them...that you're on a high protein/low carb diet...but I worry that I will feel GUILTY later on that I haven't told the truth!

You're making me reconsider what I tell people if you truly DO feel guilty!

Ugh, why do I feel like I need to be an open book!!!

By the way, congrats on looking so dang good

I completely relate to your fears. I was just talking to my counselor about this. I just found out that I was approved for surgery and I have been trying for 6 months to get here. I thought I would be extremely excited, but I'm scared - primarily that it's "real" now and I'm going to have to give up my security blanket (food) and cope with my feelings in other ways. So scary! I have never been able to diet successfully because of food addiction. I wish I could go to rehab for this addiction, but it doesn't exist! That's kind of how I view VSG - it's my rehab that will force me to restrict my food since I haven't been able to on my own. Thank you for putting yourself out here - just know that you are not alone in these feelings. Take care:)

What a great way for me to look at this entire journey - - that this surgery and the rest of my life will be my 'rehab'. SInce I am not powerful enough to do this LONGTERM on my own, the sleeve will be a real-life rehab...one that will enable me to not fall off the wagon so easily.

I am grateful to you for sharing this because this truly has been a light-bulb moment for me.

I want to congratulate you on getting approval! For me this entire time my focus has been on getting 'approved'...even though I'm not yet approved, after sitting through my last nutrition appointment it hit me that IF approved this thing is REAL and lifelong..and for a few minutes I let it scare the crap out of me.

Thank you for your reply, I appreciate you so much!

Even when I could, I hated running, but I did it. It has been one of the only ways I was able to keep my weight down. I actually got down to 130 in the 1980s by running 7 miles 3 times a week, but I couldn't keep it up. Now I don't run at all, and like you, can't even do a few steps. I live in a college town, and watching all these young folks jogging around the neighborhood makes me realize that I do want to be able to run again. I couldn't imagine I would ever want to do that again...until I couldn't do it.

WOW, 7 miles! I truly admire that. I know it can be done...I've seen people transform their lives to include running...I just want to be one of those people. It's funny that you said even when you could run you still hated it! I think that will be me. I don't see myself ever loving it...but I want to!!! That should count for something, don't ya think!!! I wonder if anyone 'hates' food the way I hate running?

I hear and feel you girl! I have all those fears too, but I take heart in the fact that when I was on the bernstien diet (VLCD with virtually no carb and no fat) I lost all of my cravings for food to the point where I had to set an alarm to remind myself to eat. My desire was just not there... and the motivation of the moving scale was phenominal... what wasnt was the price tag of $600.00 a month. You can do this.. .we will all be victorious!!

What is VLCD? going to have to google the Bernstien diet

Okay, so you're saying that you lost most cravings?!?! That is incredible and really DOES give me hope! I can't even imagine having to REMIND myself to eat....ahhhh what a beautiful day that will be

But what in the world cost $600 a month???

I understand your feelings. This preop diet is a true test when you are living with young kids and a husband that doesn't cook. Your concerns sound very normal to me. I'm already trying to find something else that will comfort me outside of food.

I was told to stop drinking 15 mins prior and wait for 30 mins after. There is a fantastic book to read: The Experts Guide to WeightLoss Surgery by Garth Davis. I've read it about 3 times already.

I am going to get that book, thank you so much!!! This forum is so amazing to me and such a wealth of knowledge and so supportive. Thank you!

When you say you're trying to find something outside of food to comfort you...I want to be a runner. I HATE running. But I've long lusted after the thought of transforming my huge, flabby body in to a runner's body...even though right now I hate to run..in fact I can't run. At all. Not even a few steps! But you just saying that you want to find something thta comforts you outside of food just gave me the crazy notion that maybe somehow, someway, I can make running my obsession. For this out-of-shape body, how cool would that be?!?!

You said they told you we can not digest meat. That is the majority of the food I eat. I never heard this. As far as steak, I enjoy it just not a lot at a time. You need to read more posts to see what people are going thru and the kinds of food they eat. Maybe your nutritionalist is a vegetarian and does not want others to enjoy meat.

She might just be a vegetarian She didn't say I couldn't have it, but said that most people choose to not eat it after surgery because it is much harder to digest. I don't even have steak very often (3 kids ages 5 and under...steak is a luxury!) but every once in awhile when Hubbs and I go to dinner kid free (once a year!) there is nothing better than a good, juicy steak! The thought of not getting to ENJOY that every once in awhile made me a little sad....and then the thought that I was getting SAD over FOOD that I hadn't even had taken away from me made me MAD AT MYSELF!!! How foolish that I've let food control my thoughts so much

That is great to hear that you can still eat meats. Not that I couldn't live without them, I just want that choice

Did you do your sleep study yet?

Crap, I NEVER saw this. I'm so sorry!

It went good! I passed, so one more thing crossed off my check list of things to do. the one thing I didn't like was i had a male technician....it ended up being just fine, it was just the whole metal thing of knowing that it was just me and another guy alone in a building and if he decided to rape and pilage me no one would ever hear my screams...I woke up the next morning fine and untouched and realized how silly I had been

I have my psych evaluation scheduled for next Friday and then will have one last nutrition appt before I've met my insurance requirements. Although getting excited I started to have a mild panic attack (not really panic attack, just emotions!) about how REAL this is all becoming. I'm so addicted to food and the comfort that it gives to me that I am having serious questions of whether or not I am strong enough to give it up. I HATE to be...my kids NEED me, but holy heck, I am so attached to it.

I also decided to not have the surgery in May/June which is when I thought I would have it (providing I get approval when I first submit!) and actually wait until August'ish. I have a family reunion I'd like to attend (haven't gone in 7 years) and it's a 12-hr drive, each way. That would have been about 3 weeks after surgery and thought that wasn't a great idea. Then my best friend is visiting from out of California the very next week, and then in July we're having a big birthday party for my little guy. I want to set myself up for success and not failure and don't want to allow myself to be in situations where I might be tempted to slip something I otherwise wouldn't be exposed to if that makes sense. So anyway, I'm thinking the end of July/middle of August would be great....and well before the Holiday's so I can be one sexy lady by then!!!

What a great idea. Thank you for sharing! I'm still in the qualifying stage with insurance but would love to start making small changes now...adding protein to my coffee instead of creamer is a great change I can incorporate

I alos have Aetna! I live in the Phoenix area.

I can't fall asleep without my husband and also have a breastfeeding baby who usually wakes up 3+ times a night so I am going to have to wake up & pump at those times & I am worried it's going to count against me but it's just not something I can help.

My insurance coverage is slightly screwey and honestly I won't know until I'm on the operating table if I'll be covered/approved. My primary insurance (through my employer) is blue cross blue shield. They do NOT for ANY reason, for ANY person cover ANY TYPE of bariatric surgery. Like it's stated on one of the first pages of the policy. The way my work has the policy set up there is no way to opt out of blue cross coverage, therefor it MUST be my primary (unless i quit working!).

My husband added me to Aetna so that I could have the surgery. But since Aetna is secondary, we have to submit everything to Blue cross, get a nasty letter back saying (again and again and again!) that these tests associated with bariatric surgery are not covered and THEN I have to submit the bill to aetna. So far Aetna has yet to cover anything since I keep getting letters back from them saying that because I have primary insurance my primary insurance will have to cover me....it's been a LOT of hours and tears making phone calls...and I'm not even halfway through yet!!!

SO if I finally get that beautiful letter stating aetna approves me it's going to be a beautiful day

Until then, I will continue fulfilling all of their requirements and fighting with them and blue cross !

Oh you poor thing to have to pump while away from your baby. Not that pumping is bad! Just the fact that you won't be able to get a good night's sleep Hopefully it will all work out and you will fall right back to sleep each time after pumping.

Good luck! I will let you know how the sleep study goes after this weekend.

I went for my sleep study and found that I do have sleep apnea. Tonight I go for my second sleep study to get fitted for the CPAP. I'm not gonna lie, I barely slept at all the first time. It was impossible for me to fall asleep with all of those wires and stuff on me, plus the thought that someone was watching me really creeped me out. You do eventually fall asleep and don't even realize it but I woke up constantly. Other people tell me they fell right to sleep and slept fine all night. I'm preparing not to get any sleep again tonight, LOL..It's not bad having the study though, just plan it so that you have nothing to do the next day so that you can catch up on your sleep..good luck with it..

I hadn't even thought about having to go back if they determine I have sleep apnea---ugh! Thank you for the advice and info...hadn't even thought about possibly being tired from not sleeping! Good luck on getting fitted, hope that goes nice and smooth!

You are NOT screwed up!!! I have the same thoughts from time to time. I worry that I want this surgery and new lifestyle so bad - NOW - but what if after having it for a year or two I 'fall off the wagon' so to speak as I've done a hundred times before and this entire process is a complete waste.

Right now I can say that won't happen, but I've said that before when successful at a diet and I always end up in the same place. It's scary, but one thing I know for sure is that if I continue down the path I'm on now I won't be here to watch my kids grow up.

I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. This isn't a fun journey, but when I look at success pictures of other members I know that it's possible and I know I can do it. And, you can too

So cool that we're on the same timeline, I've wanted someone to keep up with!

If you don't mind me asking, where do you live? I'm assuming you're insurance, who is your insurance through? I live in north East Texas and have insurance through Aetna.

I'm also super nervous about the sleep study. I have a hard time falling to sleep at night (lay in bed thinking of the gazillion things I didn't get done for the day) and I also sleep with my mouth open at night and sometimes drool - - the thought of someone possibly watching me is not cool!!!

Keep me posted on your stuff! I'm going to go add you as a friend right now