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Hi all...I am almost 5 weeks post op! Wow the time has flown by! Sorry I have not been on here in a while giving an update or posting about something I have kinda been in what some people call a "stall" for the past two weeks. Kinda puts a damper on things. The first week I was really pretty ok with it. I had just lost 40lb in 2 months and was just stoked to start seeing the changes in my body and in my attitude/personality. Then by the 2nd week it just started to get depressing, I even gained 1 pound... I started getting a little mad and was trying to figure out how to amp up my loss again. I had just started adding solid foods back into my diet but I was not getting over 600-700 cal a day. (which I thought was good) I was having a little bit of a hard time with my protein and liquid intake. So I figured that must be the problem. Last Tuesday I had my first WLS support group meeting with my supper awesome friend Tina. By some amazing divine appointment God had them focusing on PROTEIN! She had a ton of samples to try from different products and gave us a bunch of ideas on how to add bits of protein to our diets through out the day. Apparently just about everyone in the group had been struggling with some kind of stall recently and so that was the topic of focus! How perfect for me And because I know how common it is for us new VSG'ers to have a hard time with proper protein levels I thought I would share what I learned, my new favorite products, and a few new ideas on how to use protein. First, my new best friend is "Big Train". I have always loved this brand but had no idea that they had a bariatric friendly line of protein powders. So now I can have my love of coffee and drink it too I do live in Seattle... Its almost against the law to not like coffee over here... lol Here is the link for the Big Train drinks. I love them! The cool thing is, I can not taste the protein in them at all! I have tried the vanilla and the espresso (both are fantastic) and have just ordered the sampler pac to try the rest before purchasing in bulk... http://www.bigtrain.com/coffee-protein-drink-mix-powder-fit-frappe-c-143.aspx My 2nd new brand of protein is Chike... I had never heard of this brand till my meeting this week. I tried the coffee flavor and again it was really good! I ordered the sample pac of this brand also. I really like being able to take a little packet of powder with me rather than mixing up a whole days worth at once. I need to find some kind of little container that holds one serving though, because it is so much cheaper to buy the tub rather than the packets... Anyway, here is the link for Chike. http://www.chikenutrition.com/buy-chike.html Third... I know most of you guys know about Unjury. But recently I have made a few friends who had never heard of it. For all of you newbies out there here is an awesome product! Unjury is said to be one of the best forms of protein. One of the best on the market. Its protein has really good absorption into the body. I have been told some of the cheaper proteins don't benefit the body as well as others. I totally get that, most food now a days dose not benefit the body at all so I am sure they cheat on this kind of stuff also... Anyway, Unjury makes a "non-flavored" powder that you can put in just about anything from soup to pudding, to drinks. I have been adding it to my Crystal Light or Mio drinks. When you add it to a fruity drink it kinda turns it into a cream cycle taste. Not bad when it is giving you 20+ grams of protein in each scoop... I also put some strawberry lemon-aid into a vanilla powder and it was pretty good too.. http://www.unjury.com/store/protein/ I also found this website http://www.bariatricchoice.com/bariatric-protein-shakes-smoothies-drinks-12.html It looks like it has a ton of different high protein options including Nectar (which I have ordered the sample pack but have not tried yet) It might be a cool place to get some extra ideas from. (And by the way I just started loosing weight again! I dropped 1 pound yesterday. I really believe its because I am drinking more and added more protein) So, to give you an idea on how I get my protein and liquids in... In the morning I start out with either a mixed fruit and veggie shake with a scoop of Unjury in it. Or, I have a coffee drink with either the Big Train or the Chike. Rite there in that morning drink I have just got 20 grams of protein in... As a snack I will have a cheese stick or cup of Greek yogurt. (6-12 g protein) Then for lunch I make sure to have some kind of meat, eggs or cheese. All of which are low in carbs. (remember we like low carbs During the day I will have a "snack" by putting one scoop of protein powder in with a beverage. There is another 20 grams. For dinner I have been trying to get in some veggies with my meat. So weather I have 1/2 a hamburger patty or a few ounces of fish, I try to get in either salad or another green vegetable. If I work it good like that, I am over 70 grams of protein. Plus the shakes alone have given me about 30 ounces of water so I only have to concentrate on another 30 through out the day. To tell you the truth, its the liquids I am still having trouble with. It is really hard to drink that much through out the day. But I am trying... I hope I was able to help some of you guys... I know I was really struggling with ideas on how to get enough every day... Good luck to you all! And let me know what you think of my ideas. Also, If any of you have some products or mix ideas for me please let me know! I am always looking for something new to try. Later all!!! "HUGS" Amber

"You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance. Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life. It’s true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!” Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

A year ago, I would look at people who are the size I am now and think, "Oh, what I would give to be that size!". I just knew I would be full of confidence and that my self esteem would be flying high again. But, now that I am where I was striving to be a year ago (not thin but no longer obese), I'm still not happy with my body. Is this becasue society has told us what is beautiful so many times that we start to believe it? Or, is it much more simpler than that. Is it just that I'm not happy with my body as a whole? Why am I minimizing my success in my head? I know I'm not sabotaging myself, but I also know that when I look in the mirror now, there are parts of my body that I dislike even more now that I've lost weight. Now, before everyone blows up at me, let me explain. I am 110lbs smaller than I was a year ago and aroun90lbs smaller since surgery six months ago. I can look and feel my body and I KNOW it has made tons of positive changes. i also know that even though I mess up with my food intake some times, I have made huge strides in that area as well. For example, this time of year in the past I would have had bough four bags of candy just for my husband and I. To be honest, I ate 3 1/2 of those! Now, I've been very careful. If I do eat a mini bar, it's only one or two for the day and then no more for awhile. I've learned that apples and peanut butter can taste just as good as a Reese's Cup....well, not AS good....but close enough. Plus, the apple doesn't make me feel bad about eating it when I'm done. I also try to exercise when my back will allow. Another huge step. As for my body changes, the pouch over my "lady parts" is so much smaller that when I'm using the bathroom, I marvel that I can see certain parts again. (Sorry if that's TMI). I can now see the numbers on the scale with out having to bend my body all cockeyed when I weigh myself. My arms feel like little girls arms to me when I fold them across my chest and the best part is the way I fit into the area under my husband's arm when he puts it around me. For the first time, his arm goes all around me and can even go down part of my arm. For the first time ever, i feel like I can be that comforted woman in the arms of the man she loves. But, with all the good comes the bad. My boobs continue to try to make their way to the floor. If they continue on their trip, they will be there in a few months and I can turn them into cleaning tools as I walk around the kitchen floor!!! Also, they are much smaller, and I have to admit, I REALLY miss them. (If you read my blog lots, you can see that I say this all the time...I have always had a close relationship to my boobs!!! LOL). The skin under my lady parts and between my thighs continues to look like a bull dog's jowls. My tummy is now wrinkled and I can fold areas of skin and fat over on it. My arms have wings and to really just shock me, I noticed today that my face skin is hanging a little too. I swear, I know it's Halloween, but I do not have any desire to look like a walking melting wax figure!!!!! So, I did what I do and asked myself, "Which would you prefer? Who you were six months ago or who you are now?" No question, hands down, The PERSON I AM NOW!!!!. So what's the problem you may ask? It's simple. I've been overweight my whole life and I always thought that if I lost weight I would have a killer body. But, becasue of my age and the length of time I've been fat (not to mention the inability to exercise the way I would like), my body didn't get my brain's memo and can't just fall back into place.....right now, it can only "fall". Because of this, it adds some negative thoughts in my head about how I look. Now, I know only I and my husband can see my body....and I'm lucky that he loves it the way it is.....but every person I know wants that tight, chest up, butt up, tones arm look!! But for now, I will have to rely on Spanks and the right clothes to hide all these changes....and trust me, I don't mind one bit.

I've finally completed all of my insurance req's and am now awaiting approval. Since I've completed my requirements I guess this entire process has become really 'real' to me and it scared me. I kept asking myself if I really NEEDED this surgery...why couldn't I lose wieght on my own? Am I being lazy and taking the easy way out? Is it worth putting myself under the knife and having major surgery when I'm already too lazy to eat right and exercise? Am I wasting my family's money by having surgery? etc, etc, etc. Well tonight my sweet 5 year old ittle girl innocently made a statement that first broke my heart and then made me realize without a doubt this surgery is the right thing for me. We were driving home and she asked what would happen if I started to drown (We have a pool and swim a lot. I used to teach swim lessons and water safety, so water safety is REALLY important to me). I said, "Well, if I was truly drowning and couldn't get out, hopefully someone would help me out of the water." She replied (Here's where my heart broke...) "But Mommy, you're so big. How would they be able to pull you out? You're too heavy." And THEN she tried to backtrack...that broke my heart even more. She shouldn't have to worry about what she says to me and if it hurts my feelings. She shouldn't have to try to change what she said to make me feel better - - she's FIVE! AND THAT DID IT FOLKS. I almost broke down in tears right there in my car. I can hide from cameras, I can hide from the mirror. I can ignore the fact that my clothes are too tight I can hardly zip my pants. I can look past my double chin. I can choose to not look at my stretch marks. I can ignore being breathless just from walking from my car to my house. I can not pay attention to the fact that I now have to undo my top button to my jeans when sitting at my desk because it is digging in to my stomach. I can pop another blood pressure pill and ignore my high blood pressure... But I cannot ignore the fact that my kids notice I'm overweight and that kills me. I guess up until then I knew I was wayyyyy too heavy but since no one else would address it I could go on my merry-way and ignore it. But there's no ignoring it anymore. I have to do something more powerful than myself so that I can stop living a hollow life and stop living in the shadows, hoping no one addresses the fact that I am unhealthy. The heck with the fact that I am so unattractive anymore, I am unhealthy and am not the role model that my kids deserve. So I'm having this surgery. I don't care how it happens, I need this surgery. I need to lose weight. I need to get healthy. I need to start caring about myself. I need to start caring about my family and their future - - with ME in it.

Laying in bed this morning and my arm hits something on my leg...I think to myself...what the hell? Turns out I have a hip and leg bone that has been hiding in my thigh for at least 3 decades. Needless to say it's pretty cool to find all these bones that have always been there but have been hiding...collar bones, shoulder bones, now hip bones...oh and I am even seeing ankles too, real ankles and not cankles. Just thought I would post this in my blog today. Feels good.

One year ago today I was Banded!! So how was my year? Well, I was very very good for about 8-10 months and then I went back to my eating ice cream, too often. I almost always have soft serve but with jimmies(chocolate sprinkles, if you're not from Boston). I was going to the gym (since December, when my husband and I joined) about 4-6 times a week. As the nice weather came, that stopped. We are going today, we are in our workout clothes!! I need to get my s**t together and start over with my new life. My eating has been for the most part great. I love my morning protein shakes. I drink hot tea and iced tea all day and night. I brew my own iced tea, so it's decaf. I enjoy my large salad about 1 hour before my dinner. I have never used salad dressing, so I know I am great in that department. I do eat bread but only in restaurants with really great bread. I do have Chinese food with brown rice and where I usually eat you can get luncheon specials all day and I bring 1/2 of it home for another meal. Use to be I ate the whole plate full and then some more. I also never have fast food. I hate it. I know what you are thinking, a fat person who hates fast food! WOW! If I did any it was maybe french fries (no salt) (hate salt) or a shake and I gave them up and don't miss them at all. My grandsons are mad I won't go to McDonald's with them. Grampie will take them but never Grammie. So as far as my pounds lost, I started my weight loss March, 2012 with replacing breakfast with shakes and lost 26 pounds before my surgery. As of this morning I am down 74 big ones!!! Could it have been more-of course. I am not perfect. It was a few pounds more but the ice cream took care of that and the less moving of the body. I go to the doctor Friday for a fill. I have a 10 band with 3 fills for a total of 1.5 I guess my doctor goes slowly with the fills and I am fine with that. Everyone is different with your loss, eating and working out. Be you and not someone you're not. We do all compare ourselves to everyone, me included. Work towards who you want to be. Have a great day! I will try. Arlene aka "Eye Candy"

I love the movie Fried Green Tomatoes (1991) with Kathy Bates, Jessica Tandy, it’s a must see so rent it if you've never seen it. This is one of my favorite scenes…… Just wanted to share it with everyone. I never get mad, Mrs. Threadgoode. Never! The way I was raised it was bad manners. Well, I got mad and it felt terrific. I felt like I could beat the sh*t outta all those punks! Excuse my language. Just beat 'em to a pulp! Beat 'em till they begged for mercy. Towanda, the avenger! After I wipe out all the punks of this world, I'll take on the wife beaters, like Frank Bennett, and machine gun their genitals. Towanda will go on the rampage. I'll put tiny bombs in Penthouse and Playboy... so they'll explode when you open 'em. I'll ban all fashion models who weigh less than 130 pounds. I'll give half the military budget to people over 65... and declare wrinkles sexually desirable. Towanda, righter of wrongs, queen beyond compare! How many of them hormones you takin', honey

I was skipping around reading different posts on Facebook, and found an article by Dr. Laura Berman (you know, the sex therapist on Oprah), and she's talking about her challenge of fighting breast cancer and what it's like going bald during the chemo treatments. While reading that article, she said something that struck me SO deep, that I wanted to share in hopes that it hits someone else too. You see, I'm scared to death of who the "new me" will be. Will I still have my self-deprecating humor? Will I still enjoy what I do today when I'm thinner? Will people still like and love a thinner me even though I've been overweight all my life and this is how people identify me? I'm going to have to learn that my overweight self today isn't want defines me. That being a thinner me and having health and happiness is OK! Here is the quote: "It is amazingly empowering to let go of something you think defines you, only to discover you are a truer version of yourself without it. It’s like letting go of an anchor that’s holding you down." ~Dr. Laura Berman I'm ready to meet that truer me!!

I love food, I mean really love food (which is why I hit 247). I have always been a foodie. While sweets were never a huge pull for me, I find myself wanting them more now, but I have managed to stay away from them except special occassions. I am and always have been a protein / carb girl. I am mildly adventurous, willing to try new foods and such. Since being banded I have found I like: Greek Yogurt, couscous, beans. I eat a lot more fish (talapia, salmon, mackeral). Being that I love to cook I am always researching new things and new ways of cooking. I still, however, do enjoy going out to eat. What I like best is having someone else clean the kitchen! Last night, Valentines, the hub wanted to go to the 1st resturant we ever went to. That resturant is On the Border, which serves southwest style food. I love southwest/mexi, but it is loaded with salt and calories. I downloaded the nutrition and was shocked the my southwest chicken taco's were 1200 calories- ouch. I found that the fajita mix was a better choice, I was able to order the chicken with grilled onion, pepper, zuchini, with no sides (beans, rice, tortillas). I ate just the meat and veggie and ask for sauce on the side (which I only used a bit of). Since I hadn't been there since surgery this really showed how my eating has changes. Before surgery I would eat the meat, veggies, rice, beans, tortillas and a dessert. Last night I wasn't even able to get down all of the meat and veggies. Wow, what a change. My husband said he was so proud of me. I went home feeling good and not over stuffed. Yes, this morning my weight was up by a pound, the salt really worked on me. So today I am drinking my water like a made woman and cutting the salt back. I guess this is what life should be like, not giving up the food we love, just cutting back on the amount and making adjustment for the bad stuff. What in the heck did I learn this years ago??

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