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We had guests last week, my brother-in-law and his wife. I am close to both as is my husband so they knew about my WLS. I didn't mind the questions about what my guidelines were as they seemed to be out of interest. However, my brother-in-law and husband are both "bossy" and I found the dominant question being "Are you supposed to be eating that?" or "How much of that are you allowed to eat?" I recently graduated to regular food and was pretty much sticking to my quantity requirements so I had many "to go" containers in the refrigerator of my leftovers. If I deviated from my quantity requirements, I paid for it in misery but it was a reinforcement of why we have guidelines. I got lectures about how my brother-in-law lost weight and his exercise regimen. I wouldn't mind it if he were just "sharing", however, I was getting what I perceived aslectures at the end of their visit. I know that he cares and I have to take his personality into account so I am taking what I like and leaving the rest. With two of them (my husband and brother-in-law) at the table, it was a bit much but at least my husband kept reminding our guests that I had to eat every 3 hours. I know that people who do this sort of thing are uneducated about what it takes for us to meet our goals. It is a definite process and we have the tools. They cannot do it for us. If we could do what they have done to meet their goals, we wouldn't have been forced to take this major step. If we have people constantly telling us what to do then we won't know how to "self manage". I kept saying that I was in a "learning curve" and while I was making "mistakes", I was getting into a routine where the program was more intuitive. We have benefit of the knowledge telling us "what" and "why" and I don't mind educating but I don't want to keep explaining or justifying. I am tired of feeling, "less than" but it is hard for me to let people come to their own conclusions but I can't control others, I can only control how I react to them. All our lives people have thought they knew what was best for us. I am learning to say, "If I make a mistake, it is my mistake."

There are ways to eat around every surgery. If you want to, or feel compelled to, it can be done. I was afraid I might try to do this and chose my surgery accordingly. For me, it took amazingly few bouts of dumping and few episodes of eating wrong to change my habits. I don't know why I learned my lessons when others didn't. I guess I was lucky. Choose carefully. Act wisely. Then hope you don't persist in trying to do it wrong. Good luck Tek

statistically speaking, you'll lose more with bypass than you will with sleeve, but it's only about a 5% difference. Plus an average is just an average - you'll find people who fall on either side of the average. There are people who are extremely successful with both surgeries - and people who fail with both surgeries. 14 lbs is a lot. You may lose that the first three or four months, depending on a whole host of other factors (sex, age, metabolic rate, activity level, starting BMI, etc), but weight loss slows down a lot after that. I started at well over 300 lbs. I lost 16 lbs the first month, maybe 12 or so lbs a month for a couple of months after that, then I think around 10 lbs a month until I was about 7 months out, and then 5-8 lbs a month until I got about a year out. After that, things really slowed down until it finally stopped at around 20 months out. P.S. With your starting BMI, your weight loss isn't going to be really speedy. You WILL lose it if you're committed to your program, but 14 lbs a month is overly optimistic for someone at your weight. Most of us start out much heavier.

You are still pretty recently post-op. You may feel better, but your body is still working to heal on less resources. Be patient with yourself. Do what you can, don't do what you can't. It will get better. Good luck, Tek

God rest her soul, but my mother did exactly same, Chubrub. For as long as I can remember, too thin, too fat, bridge of nose too thick, “you have teeth from your paternal grandmother”, and high waisted, too🤣 ya di ya da (wait, maybe we had same mother?) What the heck???🙄 Fortunately, we survived and dealt with it. Unbelievable!! Congrats on becoming a strong, independent woman to dismiss it💃💖🌟! Breavsg, moral of the story is dismiss it all and trust these moments or glitches in human behavior do make us stronger!😊

I am 1 week post op and everything I've read says 1/4 of a cup should fill you up. I ate 2/3 of a cup of thinned cream of wheat and i still felt like i had room for more. I also feel like I could drink an entire 11.5 ounce premiere protein shake without trouble. This makes me so nervous. Anyone else feel like their sleeve is larger than expected?

Most people never said I looked like I lost too much except for one person. Most would say things like “you must be close to your goal by now” and I’d respond “yes, pretty close.” The for the one person that continually told me I was losing too much I finally heard enough and said to her, “look, you never bothered to tell me I was gaining too much weight so your opinion doesn’t really matter to me and I’d appreciate it if you quit commenting on my weight because I’m beginning to feel harassed.”That shut her up. Now days people usually just say something about what a great job I’ve done or how I inspired them to stick to a diet. When people ask how much I’ve lost I always just say, “a lot” or “more than I weigh now!”

Bowel prep is one of the many things that varies from doctor to doctor and program to program. May the Bariatric Surgery Gods bless you with not having to go through THAT particular experience. The worst part for me? The first of two days of bowel prep was on my birthday. Crappy Birthday to me! Literally.

With COVID, I ended up with no choice in the matter, as I am sure most people who've had surgery this year have encountered. My mom was the one who dropped me off at the hospital and then she picked me up the following day. Doctors and nurses are all accustomed to the varying levels of stress and anxiety in their patients...likely doubly so in the midst of this pandemic when they know that their patients are alone. I relied heavily on my cell phone to text and chat with friends, muck about on social media, and generally keep myself distracted and entertained in the hours when I wasn't dozing. I even actually brought my laptop to the hospital with me, but never ended up using it. Definitely bring your cell phone with you and use it to touch base with friends and family to help mitigate the feelings of isolation.

Excuse me I was giving honest advice.. it is beneficial to get help if needed.. there's nothing wrong with asking for help.... Most surgeons ask for psychological help to deal with the changes in your life that come with surgery.. nobody is perfect.. And I'm allowed to give advice because I've been through it and have been successful so I'm offering encouragement and inspiration to show it is possible...