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Same with my mom. She majorly projected her childhood bullies on to me “you’ll never have more friends if you don’t lose weight” ( I had plenty) jokes on her, the goal weight of 145 was what I was at when she was the harshest in high school —if only I had the backbone then to tell her to shove it. It caused me to believe I looked like I was 300lbs when I was 1/2 that, that I was ugly and undesirable. Moms can suck. My therapist I started seeing postop has me challenging self talk and the negative things that have happened in the past and has me writing what I wish she would have said or what I would say or do in the situation we’re roles reversed

Wls is renowned for making infertile women, very, very fertile right after surgery. Even those with PCOS. So if you suspect pregnancy is a possibility, take a test. And what others have said, double up on birth control. As Arabesque said, wls changes our hormones and rarely it can even induce menopause in those women who are perimenopausal. This forum is full of threads of previously infertile women becoming pregnant in the weeks and months after wls because they weren't expecting to become fertile so quickly after surgery.

If you've accepted the risk then you wouldn't be prepared to beat yourself up for making a decision that resulted, completely out of your control, in a less than positive outcome. Accepting the risk means making the best of any result. I don't think you realize it but you are loaded with conflict, the result of which is you can't win: "I have been blessed with good health, despite obesity" except: "I want to get healthier, " and "I want to be able to exercise without getting so winded," and " I had to run to catch a plane a few weeks ago and I just couldn't keep up with my family," and " I want to be able to roll over in bed without it causing earthquake motion", and " I would love to get off of my CPAP." Are you "healthy" or not? pick one. Then there is your selfish desire to "My husband and I go to Disney all the time and I would like to take them [the Grandkids]" You've talked yourself into a fine no-win scenario: You talk about surgical horror stories you've read that lead to death, stroke, being sick forever. Not unsurprisingly these are also major complications of morbid obesity. You can kick yourself for getting surgery and not getting surgery! Which path will you regret more? Trying and failing or not trying at all. My philosophy is that the path I choose will work out for the best. It's this philosophy or living in regret. Good luck, Tek

I'm struggling with internalized fatphobia. I am getting much better as I've lost weight, actually. I was bullied growing up, and my grandmother, whom I loved more than anyone, would tell me I had "such a pretty face"... which we all know is code for you're fat. I had a guy break up with me (after I had lost 100 lbs) because I wasn't his ideal body type. Now I'm terrified to even consider dating. (Although there are a lot of issues there...) My family and friends have always been supportive, but my mom always has been a bit of a "concern troll." ("I'm scared for you!")

I had only heard of this on passing so I googled it. It says it can cause “stomach problems” as a side effect. Because of this I would definitely ask the surgeons opinion about when it’s okay to continue treatments. And maybe research a little further to figure out what “stomach problems” they are speaking of and how surgery will impact them.

Yeah, just because something doesn't work for you a month or two after surgery doesn't mean you will NEVER be able to eat it again. I'm 8 months out and I still can't eat salad, but I can now eat everything else. Slider foods to me are things that are so heavily processed that they break down into nothing in the stomach, so they don't make you full. For me, things like cookies or desserts. I can eat them after I'm "stuffed" with protein. I try to be careful about eating those, for lots of reasons.

During the pre op diet and the post op life do not compare your progress to others. Just stick to the plan your team lays out for you and trust the process. We are all here to cheer one another on but we are all so different that your journey will be unique to you.

No, I got the band removed in April 2021, I expect my revision to be June 2022. My surgeon wanted my esophagus to heal some before revising. I wasn't in a rush to revise because removing my band helped eliminate the GERD. But I'm still on a PPI, so I'd like to revise so I can come off of the PPI. Also to lose more weight that I didn't lose with the band.

Write a list of all your questions to take to your appointment

When I had my surgery done, I knew I wanted it and it was almost a life or death decision for me. I wanted a life that did not include bad knees, breathlessness and diabetes. I was so embarrassed of my weight that I never went outdoors. For me it was a no brainer. I paid as quick as I could. I had a rough ride in the beginning but I am over it now and away and pacing. I am so happy with my choice. I cant make your fears go away but I can show you some more success stories. Go and look at the before and after threads. They go back 20 years and give wonderful motivation. Millions of people have had this done and very few of them have problems. I don't know the numbers. All I can say is if you have doubts, wait until you are 100% ready. You know when you know !