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So happy you brought it up in counseling and that the reaction was well! Communication is so important in healthy relationships. Everyone is different and we all have different things that eat away at us if not addressed, it does not mean it's an overreaction just cause it wouldn't get on someone else's nerves. Likewise, I don't believe partners should dismiss their partner's feelings just because it's not something that would upset them. It's fantastic that you were able to bring this up and see that he didn't have a bad reaction, and I hope that gives you some confidence to do the same if something similar happens again.

@alissajs....So glad your brought it up in counseling... and that he went with you. That is huge. as for....this... As for those telling me to stop being so sensitive and just get over it, I am happy that you might be able to do that. However, I am allowed to feel however I feel (whether you think that is right, wrong or indifferent) and you dont know the background I come from...just as I dont know your background. Something that hurts you might not hurt me, and vice versa. Thankfully we all have our place in this world. I'm ok with being sensitive at times. Its not always a bad thing I, like you, am sensitive and could not just get over it either.... I play crap over and over in my head. You did the right thing bring it up and the only place to go it up.... Maybe make a safe spot in your home where the two of you can come together and talk about you and your feelings... and him and his feelings. He is going through changes with you. But you can't keep it bottled up.

So glad you brought it up at counseling. Sounds like you got a fantastic response from your husband. Very happy for you.

Thank you thank you. I've been afraid to add things because they were so strict on this stage being straight about protein.

Well said. I also generally agree with your overall point @Creekimp13. Self-starvation is harmful, non-sustainable and counter-productive in the end. And my experience taught me that SPEED of loss is not as important as continuing to lose. It took me almost two years to reach goal and toward the end I was losing only about 1-2 pounds per month. But even that slow loss adds up over time and I got where I wanted to be! But as @BayouTiger said, we really are all different. For instance, you said: This may often be true, but I am currently in maintenance and eating about 1000 calories per day. I'm not restricting myself to that number, I eat about six mini-meals per day and plus small snacks whenever I am hungry. And I am exactly maintaining on that intake (besides normal fluctuations). I track my food pretty carefully, so my calories counts tend to be pretty precise. Some days I may have what I call a "munchie" day and eat more - I don't fight it. Some days I'm uninterested in food for some reason and I'll eat less - I don't force it (besides trying to hit my protein goal). But it averages to about 1000 calories per day. I'm short at 5'1", I've lost more than half my body weight, and I'm guessing I have a fairly low BMR. So the assumption that everyone eating 1000 calories a day or less is crash dieting for quick results is not always valid. As @BayouTiger said, I know your heart is in the right place and someone out there probably needs to read what you wrote. But you can't lump everyone together.

My surgery is 5/5. I'm excited but I am concerned about the possibility of loose skin. Im afraid that after all the pain and hard work that I will still be disgusted by my body. I'm going to take one step at a time and it's nice to know that there are people going through the same things I am.

So this may have just been a quick reaction that he meant no harm by, but he does need to know how it made you feel in that moment. Marriages should have a safe space to discuss these kinds of feelings without an argument erupting and I’m sorry if you don’t currently have that. You mentioned that he expects you to defend him at all costs and you deserve the same! If he has his own insecurities, he needs to work on that and not let them steal your shine.

I am 5’2”. I weighed 212 pounds at my pre-op weigh in early February. My surgery was in February 10th. On March 30th I was weighed at my doctors office; 165lbs.

Welp, I have my surgery date. God willing, I will have my procedure on July 26, 2021. That gives me time to get ready and also have a little more tenure on my job (I just started in January). I paid my first 10% deposit today (fully-refundable as long as I give 30 days' notice of cancellation). The doctor warned me that my stomach might not be completely flat, it might retain some roundness, which made me laugh. I'm not expecting a six-pack or anything, I just want to get rid of some of this bulk! Just being able to put on a one-piece swimsuit without a skirt will be monumental!

My nutritionist said we should have between 600-800.