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It has been a ruff few months. Back at the end of June my youngest (29) son admitted himself into rehab. He got out early-mid Sept. and has been living with us till his apartment is ready. My mom (72) is back on pain meds (she was addicted most of my childhood) and i'm always the person everyone in my family seems to think can "fix" everything.... I CAN'T. So i went to counseling a couple of time (she and i didn't connect) but stopped going. Until about a month ago my weight loss has been uncontrollable... i just kept losing and size 0 is on the edge of being too thin. So, i'm here "confessing my sins" to y'all..... Some of the only people that understand. I confess I feel lost and scared. Tim has been a great support, but i know that having J living with us is a strain on both of us.... and confess to really wanting him out and on his own. I confess that i have been snacking lately instead of eating "correct" food. Yesterday i ate a hand full of chips and last night i ate two cookies. I confess i have not been drinking enough. I confess to not exercising. Don't know how, but woke this am a lb lighter........ BUTTTT......Today is Monday and it's a new day and I have to stay strong and do what i know to do and take my own advice. Has anyone ever done a "life coach"? If so, tell me about it...

Ive 100% been there. i got put onto some self help books. "the obstacle is the way" changed my life. i dont know if youre a reader but it changed my life. I know different things work for different people. Just thought id put it out there. You got this!

Hi all, I'm about a month and a half from my bypass surgery and I'm struggling to be good on my food. My partner is an alcoholic and decided to go off his mental health meds a couple weeks ago without consulting his therapist or me. I've managed to get him to start them again a couple days ago, but it's been rough. Additionally, my special needs 6 year old has been home from his special needs "school"/ therapy center over insurance issues that won't resolve until at least the 30th. His being out of school coincided with my partner starting a new job, so suddenly he's not home with us and my son has been acting out a bit. To top it all off, my chronic pain has been flaring up and I have no medication to treat it. I use heating pads etc. but it's debilitating. My PC thinks it's fibromyalgia and I've been referred to a pain specialist but they won't be calling me to schedule for another 2 weeks. Meanwhile I can barely get out of bed and when I do it's excruciating. So my question is: what do you do for stress relief that doesn't involve exercise or alone time? I have a therapist I talk to once a week and I'm on mental health medication already.

Wow! That is amazing! I am having the lap band removed and then having the mini gastric bypass. I am running with your support and encouragement! 2 weeks in - how much have you lost already? I am going to make a daily journal of what I felt and how much I lost to help others!

I just realized I didn't read your whole post... I understand chronic pain VERY well! ESPECIALLY nerve pain! I have TN (Trigeminal Neuralgia) and had brain surgery 3 years ago in an attempt to relieve myself of the agony even if it would likely be temporary (there isn't a cure for TN the surgery just stops the pain for a few years). I have atypical trigeminal neuralgia. It's on both sides and I had both type 1 and 2 pains on the left side and only type 2 on the right. I can handle the type 2 pains, but the type 1 pains... there is nothing comparable to it. It's the worst sort of agony imaginable. NOTHING has ever equaled or surpassed it. The best description for it I can give is most times it felt like I had a scalding hot poker jab into my face where it would twist and twist and twist and twist before pulling out only to repeat itself endlessly. I had the surgery (Microvascular Decompression) on the left side of my brain to get rid of the type 1 pain and it amazingly got rid of the flare ups and I had no pain for 2 amazing years. Around the time I started my weight loss journey last year I started having type 2 pains again on the left side. I couldn't stop CRYING! I was paranoid and panicking and CONVINCED that the type 1 pain was going to return. If my surgery hadn't worked to get rid of the type 1 pain I wouldn't be here. TN is called suicides disease for a REASON. It's recognized as one the most painfully excruciating conditions know to mankind. I was in absolute agony with my TN with a flare that lasted for 10 MONTHS before I had my surgery. I was barely sleeping because it was worse at night. Everything set it off. I was in a never ending world of absolute AGONY and I only held out for my family. I had overdosed on my meds on at least 3 occasions... 1 particular one I was incredibly lucky that I didn't end up in a coma because I'd taken 600mg over my dose (900mg was my dose and overdose for me was 1000mg, I'd taken 1500mg). If the surgery hadn't worked... I wouldn't be here. I was BARELY holding out for my family. I thought I was losing my mind from lack of sleep and pain and I wanted to cry all the damn time but I didn't have the energy or the tears because I'd cried myself dry months before. EVERYTHING set it off. Sleeping, eating, bathing, talking, touching my face, brushing my hair or my teeth. The happiest day of my life was my surgery day. I woke up with the worse headache of my LIFE and at that point the worst nausea I'd had in my life (only beaten by dumping syndrome), but it was 100% WORTH IT! When my TN came back in the form of the type 2 pain I felt like my life was over. I had been so strong and held out to make it to my surgery, but I just didn't know if I could have that kind of strength again. I didn't think I'd survive a repeat. So I fell into a very deep depression. My doctor put me on anti-depression and anxiety meds and when I saw the psyche doc at the bariatric clinic I told her my TN coming back to how it was before my surgery was my absolute worst fear. I honestly don't know how I even passed my psyche eval because I was a MESS! While I was going through that I read a lot. It DID help to take my mind off it a bit, even if it was still there lurking in the back of my head. I also watched quite a bit of anime to distract myself lol. I'm 33 and yes, I watch anime. It's an outlet and very easy for me to turn my brain off when reading doesn't work. Also like watching home renovation shows and anything that'll make me laugh and let me turn my brain off. I ended up getting a really bad rash due to the anti-depression and anxiety meds and had to get off them, but by that time my mind was in a much better place. I made the determination that the very SECOND I get the type 1 pains back I'm calling up my neurosurgeon and scheduling another surgery lol. I won't wait it out. I won't let it EVER get that bad again! And if for some reason he recommends me to do the Gamma Knife instead, I'll do that (my surgery was really difficult as I had a lot of tissue damage and my 3 hour surgery turned into a 6 hour surgery. I had a lot of brain swelling and there was talk of putting a stint in, but I didn't end up having to have one. I did end up with meningitus though... so I just have the feeling he'd probably want me to do Gamma Knife instead). I'm so incredibly sorry that you're going through chronic pain issues. I don't wish that kind of pain on ANYONE! It feels impossible and makes you feel so helpless. I felt so very, very, very alone. Like nobody understood it. Understood me or what I was going through... So that's the reason I told you about my own experience. I just want you to know that you are NOT alone in living with chronic pain. I really hope that the pain clinic gets back to you soon. My mom has fibromyalgia and they gave her Gabapentin for it (it also helps her neuropathy too and helps her sleep). I don't know what meds they'll start you off with, but I hope the first one they give you works for you!

You’re likely in a stall. They’re very, very common. The first one usually occurs around week 3 but it can begin before or after that. I thought of them as my body needing a breath to catch up with all the changes - the surgery, the reduced & changed diet, the weight loss, etc. They can last one week or a couple of weeks & you’ll have a couple of them on your journey. You will start to lose weight again. Just relax & stick to your plan. Good luck & congrats on your surgery.

Hi Susie, you are balancing so much in your life, it is humbling. I will address your chronic pain issue, as a chronic pain patient it is important you receive the attention which is warranted. No one should ever be allowed to live in pain, it is inhumane & unreasonable. Some people cannot understand the diminished lifestyle, planning and multiple limitations chronic pain, not acute pain, inflicts on a person. You were given an appointment, 2 weeks away? Is there another Pain Management group or Pain Management Dr you can contact? I can appreciate and validate your pain and the frustrating process, however, if you are in intractable pain, call your primary, tell him or her what is going on. Your primary can treat you for a few months, long enough until you are able to see this Pain Management Group. Your primary will understand if you are an established patient. To wait 2 weeks is unacceptable. Please feel free to contact me if I can help with resources. Moist heat is more penetrating than dry heat, if you have not tried it, you may find that it offers more relief. To compound matters, your Dr thinks you have an auto- immune disease. I am so sorry all this is happening to you. For stress relief, would you consider massage therapy? A 60-90 minute massage from a certified massage therapist. The massage will relax your muscles, no doubt you probably have many muscle spasms which is a response to the body part that has been injured & in pain. Meditation? This may help but trying to relax while in pain can be a challenge. I agree, do not exercise or engage in physical activity until you see a Pain Management physician. A warm bath is also helpful, relaxing muscles and reducing spasms which can be very painful. Soft, calming music...sounds of the ocean, can be very tranquil, it will relax you. You mentioned a therapist. Is this a therapist trained in pain management? It is not a big deal but often this type of therapist understands your daily struggles that many never think about, only because planning any type of activity, even a trip to the grocery store must be planned. There are Pain Management support groups in most locations. This will help emotionally and mentally. Please feel free to write. I will be thinking of you - Grace

Hello, As someone who has endured multiple surgeries & realizing each person responds differently to surgery & post -op, you will do great! You will be euphorically happy. It is normal to have apprehension, the surgery will be over & you will resume the beautiful life you are entitled. I look forward to hearing all about it. All my best - Grace

Congratulations! I had a bypass on November 5th. I was worried about pain and what recovery would be like. I spent two nights in the hospital and had plenty of pain meds while there. I also took pain meds when I got home but not nearly as many. Get up and walk more than they tell you to. It can be exhausting at first but it really does help with gas pains you may have. Follow your surgeons advice, ask lots of questions if things are not clear. I am 10 days out and get tired but my husband and I hung new blinds a few days ago so I figure I am not doing too bad at this point. Good luck tomorrow!

I've had my band for almost 13 years and i love it! I had my surgery in March 2008 and lost from 200lbs down to 140lbs at 5'2" which i maintained ever since (including through 2 pregnancies and a few fluctuation along the way. In the past year i have made some more habit changes that led me to drop another 20ish pounds leaving me at about 120-125lbs at 5'2" with a BMI of around 22. I wouldn't recommend planning to have the band removed after a year for 3 main reasons: 1) It's a surgery and going in expecting to have 2 surgeries within a year doesn't sound like the best idea (but that's between you and your husband and the doctor) 2) The band is CRUCIAL TO MY ABILITY TO MAINTAIN MY WEIGHT - for me personally, the lap band (and weight loss surgery in general) has always been about maintenance. I had yo-yo dieted my whole life and wanted off that roller coaster. In fact, i knew i could lose the weight (even if it wouldn't be easy) but why bother if i was just going to gain it back like i had ALL THE OTHER TIMES BEFORE. That hurt more than anything and i just couldn't do it again. And i was right, the band has been EVERYTHING to me in my maintenance journey! I would never have been able to do this without it and the habits it allowed me to build...which leads me to #3 3) HABIT CHANGE TAKES TIME - your husband needs to give himself the time to adjust to his new lifestyle both during his losing period and after. One of the advantages of not losing weight at epically fast speeds is that your body and more importantly mind have a chance to adjust with you! In order for your new habits to stick, you need to give them time to develop and teach yourself that you can conquer the inevitable bumps in the road. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to permanently change your anatomy and some people like that the band is not permanent. But it is no small life change. For me it has been THE BEST DECISION I EVER MADE. Happy to talk to you more about it if you ever need any support or perspective! There are still a lot of us successful veteran bandsters out here who might have some useful perspectives if you are considering a gastric band. Hope that helps some!