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I'm a guy, was married 27-28 years when I started toward surgery. My wife was like you, outgoing, social, etc. I am like your husband, introverted, insecure, a curmudgeon. Ok, here we go... I've heard it said "WLS makes good marriages better and bad marriages worse." My wife supported me 100%. But I initiated a similar discussion. Since I was always huge, I couldn't be sure that I wouldn't change. What if I did? We finally decided worrying about it doesn't and won't change anything. Worrying now (then) was wasted energy. I had no intention of allowing WLS to kill my marriage and we had to settle there. It wasn't just one discussion, we had it several times before and after surgery. Each time we reconfirmed our commitments to each other. Unless your husband is typically a jerk to you, I wouldn't count his insecurity against him. It's a fair concern. You both have issues and you love each other. But, once you remove your issues he fears he won't be good enough for the new you. Talk about it. Reassure him in no uncertain terms your feelings and intentions. Each time it comes up. Affirm your feelings toward him. If he is a total jerk, well surgery or not you have some thinking to do. My experience won't help you here. For the record, our marriage got better. My insecurities about the new me didn't blossom, but I'm still insecure. I am still me and I'm still in love with my wife more every day. She reports the same... but I think she's just being nice Good luck Tek

Wow. First of all, there is nothing selfish about taking control of your health by getting surgery. We all have the right to make smart choices about our health and our bodies, and you should be congratulated for taking the next step. You also have every right to celebrate your weight loss success after surgery and to find joy in everyday life that may have eluded you before. I'm not a psychologist, but I think it's pretty clear that your husband does NOT support your surgery. Saying you should think through your decision by giving you all the possible negative repercussions seems like a passive/aggressive attempt to talk you out of it. As you said, it's emotional abuse. If you can't get him to go the therapy, you should address this with your therapist (if you haven't already) so you can separate you own needs from your husband's attempts to control you. This decision might be the catalyst you need to explore whether your marriage is worth saving. Of course, I can't pretend to understand the dynamics of your marriage, but that's my honest assessment based on the information you have provided. Best wishes for whatever decision you make, and know that you will have a supportive community here throughout your journey.

I had both an encouraging and frustrating day. I don't know where else to vent since my surgery is private. My husband of 27 years is encouraging and accepting of my surgery plans, which I started in earnest today. I'm a few months from surgery (damn dietician requirements) but I am well researched and prepared to make a lifelong change. After discussing the hoops and loops, my husband made one last comment. (Paraphrasing) "I support you in this surgery but I am pointing out that I want you to think through the fact that you will probably have an affair or divorce me. Or your personality will change. Or you'll think less of me because I'm somewhat overweight. And I want you to balance choice along with the advantage of better health and being thinner." Our marriage is good but has had a few rocky seasons. I am normally active. He is not. I'm extroverted. He is not. There is some unhealthy co-dependent and emotional abuse. He refuses any marriage counseling or movement towards change. I've been in therapy for years, by myself. I know this is more emotional abuse but essentially, I am being asked to DECIDE to gamble my marriage if I dare to consider surgery. He'll support me but if I push back even a little bit, with any kind of independence, any joy, or lust for life, I'm proving him correct. And it will be lorded over my head. *I* made the problem. I made the choice. Any advice or insight on how to let guilt slide off your back? Or how to make a selfish decision for your own happiness?

If you are completely following your program, as you seem to be, you are doing it right. Don't change a thing. The scale is lying to you. I should copy and paste. I was too large for any scale but my surgeons'. So I couldn't do to me what you are doing to you. Yet, in month 5 I only lost 8 pounds. Grrrr. My Doc couldn't care less about my weight if I was following my plan and feeling well. For the record, the next month I lost my second largest amount, and I didn't change a thing. I also don't ever weigh myself except at annual physicals. I do what Doc did: I measure how I feel, am I content, am I on program. You know, the important stuff. Numbers on a scale? Not important. There are a ton of things that can result in the scale not moving. By now, you've read about the ones both real and imagined. It doesn't matter. The scale doesn't matter. Don't let the scale do you. You do you. Tek

All insightful advice above my opinion: Choose peace and happiness (which ever path that may be) Good Luck ♥️

I'm a guy and a bit further out. I was 600+ pounds. Now normal for my height. Before 2003 I was rarely seen in pictures. There were a few situations I couldn't avoid, but being tall I could stand behind everyone else. No solo pictures, no way, no how. Post-op I am still rarely seen in pictures. There are a few situations I couldn't avoid, but being tall I could stand behind everyone else. No solo pictures, no way, no how. In my work world, I've been a consultant for 45 years. I go to a new place, tell them how it needed to be done, I did it, then in 1-5 years when it was done, I moved on. Pre-op, I never went to social engagements, or out with staff. I was there to do a job, that's all. Post-op it's exactly the same. The one place it has changed is just out and about. People no longer bump into walls or poles because they are staring at me. Turnstiles don't freak me out. Restaurant seats don't freak me out. I no longer fear children. Well, I still do, but not as much. I can do physical activities as well as the next person. And, I can DO stuff. Stuff which I never dreamed I had any inclination to do. So, while a lot stays the same, a lot changes. Good luck, Tek

Hello, My doctor hasn’t been any help. I wake up at least 3x a week with burning in my lower abdomen, nausea (drooling), and diarrhea. It only happens in the mornings and comes in waves. Anyone else experience this and found the problem? Thank you!

I went through those feelings too. I'm 49 and have a 9 year old son. But the biggest reason I had this surgery was for him. I wanted to be able to do things with him and have a chance to see him grow up. I wouldn't if I stayed 393 pounds. There are no guarantees in life, but I knew this gave me the best chance. I'm only almost 8 weeks out but I don't regret it at all. I already feel a million times better! I had my gallbladder out in January and that's actually riskier than wls now, according to my surgeon, and I didn't think twice about that! Good luck. You'll be fine! Sent from my moto g(6) using BariatricPal mobile app

Hi everyone. Just saw the Bariatric program nurse and we were troubleshooting what happened. She feels that even light mayo is too much fat to tolerate at the purée stage for some. She recommended using fat free plain yogurt instead. We discussed how not having good coping mechanisms for stress led me to seek out pleasure from food and take in more then was appropriate. I’ve had stress with my mother, my daughter and my dog this past week and my normal way to deal is to devour something rich and put myself in a food coma. Because I tried to use my old method with my teeny stomach pouch I caused a bolus of food to get stuck. In some ways I wonder if I did this so I could get everyone to get off my back this week. Not consciously but maybe a self sabotage so everyone would have to fend for themselves. I see it now but I didn’t see it then. I’ve got to stay self-aware while eating. This was too traumatic of an experience to repeat.

I am three weeks postop. Since merging into my 2nd phase with some mushy foods, I've been having diarrhea for 4 consecutive days. I tried going back to my first phase and even taking Imodium AD tablets to ease the pain. And yes I am getting in plenty of fluids since knowing that diarrhea causes dehydration. Not sure what to do at this time. I am walking up every morning at 6am by this uncomfortable abdominal pain. I only feel better after bowl movement of what it seemw to be water based. If anyone has experience something similar please help. I will be reaching out to my doctor on Tueaday if this persists. Sent from my SM-N975U using BariatricPal mobile app