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Wow. First of all, there is nothing selfish about taking control of your health by getting surgery. We all have the right to make smart choices about our health and our bodies, and you should be congratulated for taking the next step. You also have every right to celebrate your weight loss success after surgery and to find joy in everyday life that may have eluded you before. I'm not a psychologist, but I think it's pretty clear that your husband does NOT support your surgery. Saying you should think through your decision by giving you all the possible negative repercussions seems like a passive/aggressive attempt to talk you out of it. As you said, it's emotional abuse. If you can't get him to go the therapy, you should address this with your therapist (if you haven't already) so you can separate you own needs from your husband's attempts to control you. This decision might be the catalyst you need to explore whether your marriage is worth saving. Of course, I can't pretend to understand the dynamics of your marriage, but that's my honest assessment based on the information you have provided. Best wishes for whatever decision you make, and know that you will have a supportive community here throughout your journey.

I had both an encouraging and frustrating day. I don't know where else to vent since my surgery is private. My husband of 27 years is encouraging and accepting of my surgery plans, which I started in earnest today. I'm a few months from surgery (damn dietician requirements) but I am well researched and prepared to make a lifelong change. After discussing the hoops and loops, my husband made one last comment. (Paraphrasing) "I support you in this surgery but I am pointing out that I want you to think through the fact that you will probably have an affair or divorce me. Or your personality will change. Or you'll think less of me because I'm somewhat overweight. And I want you to balance choice along with the advantage of better health and being thinner." Our marriage is good but has had a few rocky seasons. I am normally active. He is not. I'm extroverted. He is not. There is some unhealthy co-dependent and emotional abuse. He refuses any marriage counseling or movement towards change. I've been in therapy for years, by myself. I know this is more emotional abuse but essentially, I am being asked to DECIDE to gamble my marriage if I dare to consider surgery. He'll support me but if I push back even a little bit, with any kind of independence, any joy, or lust for life, I'm proving him correct. And it will be lorded over my head. *I* made the problem. I made the choice. Any advice or insight on how to let guilt slide off your back? Or how to make a selfish decision for your own happiness?

If you are completely following your program, as you seem to be, you are doing it right. Don't change a thing. The scale is lying to you. I should copy and paste. I was too large for any scale but my surgeons'. So I couldn't do to me what you are doing to you. Yet, in month 5 I only lost 8 pounds. Grrrr. My Doc couldn't care less about my weight if I was following my plan and feeling well. For the record, the next month I lost my second largest amount, and I didn't change a thing. I also don't ever weigh myself except at annual physicals. I do what Doc did: I measure how I feel, am I content, am I on program. You know, the important stuff. Numbers on a scale? Not important. There are a ton of things that can result in the scale not moving. By now, you've read about the ones both real and imagined. It doesn't matter. The scale doesn't matter. Don't let the scale do you. You do you. Tek

All insightful advice above my opinion: Choose peace and happiness (which ever path that may be) Good Luck ♥️

I'm a guy and a bit further out. I was 600+ pounds. Now normal for my height. Before 2003 I was rarely seen in pictures. There were a few situations I couldn't avoid, but being tall I could stand behind everyone else. No solo pictures, no way, no how. Post-op I am still rarely seen in pictures. There are a few situations I couldn't avoid, but being tall I could stand behind everyone else. No solo pictures, no way, no how. In my work world, I've been a consultant for 45 years. I go to a new place, tell them how it needed to be done, I did it, then in 1-5 years when it was done, I moved on. Pre-op, I never went to social engagements, or out with staff. I was there to do a job, that's all. Post-op it's exactly the same. The one place it has changed is just out and about. People no longer bump into walls or poles because they are staring at me. Turnstiles don't freak me out. Restaurant seats don't freak me out. I no longer fear children. Well, I still do, but not as much. I can do physical activities as well as the next person. And, I can DO stuff. Stuff which I never dreamed I had any inclination to do. So, while a lot stays the same, a lot changes. Good luck, Tek

Hello, My doctor hasn’t been any help. I wake up at least 3x a week with burning in my lower abdomen, nausea (drooling), and diarrhea. It only happens in the mornings and comes in waves. Anyone else experience this and found the problem? Thank you!

Oh yes...lactose can certainly have that effect. Which makes it inconvenient as heck b/c most pre-made shakes are heavy in lactose. Generally now I use protein powder (I like IsoPure, BioTrust and Purely Protein), and make my own shakes with either lactose free milk, oat milk or almond milk. Eggs don't bother me, (but I do know they bother some who are lactose intolerant). so I eat them a lot (egg beaters, because of the calories). When I did puree's, I actually ran chicken through the food processor with a little broth and it made a thick, high protein soup. It sounds gross but with a few spices it wasn't that bad I also had to give up cottage cheese and yogurt, although I did try almond milk based yogurt, but didn't care for it. Some people do like it though, so maybe it's worth a try for you. Peanut butter and almond butter are also a nice treat but the calories/fat can be a problem if you have too much, of course. Hope that helps a little. It's a challenge, for sure, but you got this! I've found that this whole process is full of ups and downs (and not just the weight either) but when I focus on the big picture and remember why I did this, it makes it all worthwhile!

Your manager sounds supportive which is great. Don’t be afraid to ask for the extra time though if you need it. Would they consider a part time return or reduced hours as other options on your return if needed? Just a suggestion. Good luck with your surgery.

You can have water just sip it. Which surgery did you have? I was very excited to be losing weight. I had a gastric bypass initially and with that or Duodenal switch you are guaranteed to lose for the first year.

Day 6 after surgery. Tenderness is nearly gone. Standing up straight without difficulty. Finally went to the bathroom yesterday after taking mirilax. I’m walking well by myself and building up to thirty minutes. Problems- Gas build up. I’m drinking too fast which is part of my old habits. I took a shower last night after wrapping myself in Saran Wrap but it didn’t stick and one of the five small dressings got wet. I cleansed the area and covered with a large dry bandage. I’m drinking clears and premier protein shakes. My doctor also allowed me to have a medicine cup full of sugar free pudding made with Lactaid milk to take my medication. Tolerating well without vomiting or nausea. No dumping syndrome. Calories are still under 500 at this point but fluids are tolerated well. One warning, I took a sip of some cold water and it gave me a spasm in my belly. Cold Zico coconut water was tolerated better. Still using the 30 ml medicine cups to avoid overfilling my new stomach. Some mood issues and being snappy. Because I can’t eat junk I am “expressing myself” much more. Hubby is a bit taken aback but he needs to understand I can’t be passive anymore. It made me 125 pounds overweight.