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your feelings and emotions are spot on to how I feel. I get this! Our journeys are different but the core reasons for the weight gain and surgery are the same (plus the snacking and extras. I too eat pretty healthy meals but those dang extras get me everytime!) Good for you and good luck on your journey!

We must have the same ill-fitting desk chair. It sounds like you're doing great, but boy can I relate to the body aches at 2 weeks and the back to work blues. I was hoping to return to work early, too. I thought that I'd go back in two weeks, but right before leaving work something told me, at the last minute, to change it to three weeks. I was glad that I did because I was just too sore and still moving around slow, like a old lady at two weeks. I went back to work this Monday after 3 1/2 weeks and felt pretty good, but sitting for long periods caused some discomfort on my right side. Not enough for meds, just uncomfortable. Today, no pain in my side and feeling almost 100%. Your going to feel so much better in a week. You'll see. I'm talking about the soreness, not the job. ; ) I was sleeved April 18 and I'm not cleared to eat deli meat, yet. Sigh.... Congrats on doing so well.

hey... girl... you look fabulous as always... Guess i better get my butt back on the bike... Is that an Iron Fist shirt?

I don't think it's just fat people who do this.. I am sure alcoholics, drug addicts, etc. have the same thoughts.. well I had one drink so I might as well get drunk,,, I think some of it is just human nature.. I used to weigh myself, if I had gained I would spend the day eating what I wanted cause I thought what the hell.. self punishment I guess.. now a days I weigh in the morning and I take it and go.. if I haven't lost oh well I will see if I need to change something like drinking more water or skipping a carb.. I have not gained anything since surgery so I am lucky.. I feel confident that this will work and I do not feel deprived...

Sometimes I have the opposite urge... "I am losing weight faster than I expected, so I can cheat a bit...." I guess we all react differently, but we all have the food demons to deal with.

T i was one of those people (in my days when i was addicted to weighing every 5 seconds) that if it went up, i figured WTheck..i am up so i may as well really be up...YOU are 100% correct in saying its a mind game.....a mind thing....ALL mental...i feel once you really (get it)......the reality sets in that yeah you can truly do it.......if you want too. GREAT POST

This is a REALLY GOOD topic to discuss! I felt EXACTLY the same way you do! EXACTLY! I tried to get the insurance company to waive it because of my liver disease, arguing that every day that we delay, more damage is happening to my liver and 6 months is precious time needed to take action to avoid a transplant! They wouldn't budge from this requirement. My surgeon had me meet with one of his partners monthly during the 6 months. I told her I didn't WANT to diet and lose weight because I was afraid the insurance company would deny it because I could lose weight. She told me not to worry about it. She had never seen anyone denied after the six month wait. What I didn't expect was how much I benefitted from that 6 months. My NUT doctor gave me helpful hints to help me to adapt to permanent changes (like no more carbonated drinks, finding alternative beverages). And, I had lots of time to really think about the PERMANENT life change. If I had the surgery as fast as I had wanted (within a few weeks), I would have been second-guessing my decision. I would have doubted myself and maybe even regretted it. As it is, I was able to go into that OR, with an incredible sense of peace, and joyful anticipation of the birth of my NEW LIFE. It's okay to be frustrated, but please know that a lot of good will come from this wait. And, it will DEFINITELY be worth it!

yay! Congrats!

Thanks everyone! Yes our stories are similar reenalee. My brother passed away in 2011 and I think my mom has given up after that. She just recently had her 5th heart attack 2nd massive. It breaks my heart! I can't change her outcome but I can fight like hell to change mine!

this is a great beginning to your story! Keep coming back and sharing whenever you find time for you. I can relate in so many ways to your story (as I am sure many of us here can) the main focus your story gave me was what also started me on my journey... my mom! my mom will be 60 this summer, she was totally awesome when I was really young (toddler up to around age 15 or 16) REALLY active, always doing something. Our roof was to repaired on our house and she was the first one up there! Then my sister passed away, 4 yrs later my mom had breast cancer, a year later, cancer is back, 2 yrs after she went through another major health problem.. next thing you know shes in a motorized scooter! 5'2" 325#! she cant walk because she spent so much time down and out now her weight wasn't letting her get up and around... in Feb 2012 she had a gastric bypass. She has lost 120#!!! she is out walking, goes shopping now, she takes walks with her little dog... I LOVE the change it has made. I started this journey because I started feeling lazier because of my weight, I was less likely to take the kids to the pool, less likely to go out to the playground... and I realized it wont be long before I am out shopping for my own motorized scooter! I do NOT think so!! Although its sad we cant always change the paths to where we are, we sure as heck can change direction to where we are going!