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I went to a bariatric support group meeting a few months ago. I've been determined to let go of an incident that happened but another thread just brought all my feelings to the surface again. Please forgive me for using this forum to vent. I'm a band patient who didn't get restriction right away from fills. It took over a year of working with my surgeon to get me to the right place. Needless to say, I didn't lose weight like some others have reported. At times I've been discouraged but somehow, I've managed to stay mostly optimistic and keep working at it, which is finally paying off. At the support group meeting, two women asked me when I was banded and how much weight I had lost. The way they looked me up and down with obvious disgust/disapproval made me feel like a failure and want to crawl into a hole. When I thought about it later it just made me mad. This was not my first experience with judgement and comparison. In the surgeon's waiting room I met another woman who'd had surgery around the same time as me. We talked about our weight loss and she'd lost a whole lot more than me. The smug, judgemental air that came off her really hurt. Of all the people in the world who should be supporting another heavy person I would think it would be other people who have actually walked in fat shoes. I don't understand the competition and the judgement.

Hi all, I'm new here, but have found all of your experiences and information on this discussion board very helpful as I consider this procedure. I am 29 years old and 5'2" with a BMI of 42 right now. In all honesty, I think I suffer from a delusion that I am a thin, active person, when I am actually the complete opposite. I love to cook and eat healthy and I really enjoy being active. I've run several 5ks in the past and love walking, yoga, playing softball and other team sports. But yet, here I am, still at almost 230 pounds. It's not until I see myself in photos or my clothes don't fit right that I realize how big I've become. I've struggled with my weight all my life and have been on WW, South Beach, Body for Life, Atkins, MediFast, etc. Most recently, I've been following the new Weight Watchers plan off and on since it launched in November with minimal success. I feel like I just need some help...a little something extra that will help me stick with it. I hope this is the answer. I checked into LapBand two years ago after a professional associate of mine lost 75lbs in four months and told me she had the LapBand surgery. At the time, my insurance explicitly said it did not cover the procedure and my BMI was not more than 40 (it was over 35). I don't have any complications...yet. However, my good cholesterol levels are low, and, last year, my running plans were put on hold as I nursed a heel spur (which I'm 95% sure was caused by my excess weight). I have family history of heart disease and high blood pressure. My husband also believes I might have sleep apnea. Long story short, I need to get this weight off. Not just for me, but I really want to have kids in the very near future. I want to have healthy pregnancies and be able to keep up with them as they grow. We've tried a bit already and I'm worried my weight is a factor (okay, I KNOW it is a factor). I'm registered to attend a seminar on April 15. I'm really hoping my insurance covers this procedure, as my husband and I don't have the money to pay for it out-of-pocket. Laura

I haven't experienced the judgemental junk, but I definitely know how you feel with this taking forever. It took me nine months to get to a good spot and then I had a couple of fill/over-fill/partial unfill issues that lead to no loss for several months. I wish that somebody had said something about the restriction not happening right away and that it may take six or seven fills to get to the green zone. The smugness of the easy losers is tough. I love to read about successul bandsters (not that any of them are smug) and follow their blogs, but it is disheartening when I see people who have lost 90 pounds in the time it took me to actually get restriction. Hang in there. You are on this journey for yourself, not the other rude folks. I think your story of slow loss is an important one to be shared at the support meetings, after all you may be the next inspiration for someone else who hasn't lost anything.

I'm defintely going to bring that up at my post op appointment... for sure!

I lost weight for 6-8 weeks after surgery, then nothing! Nothing for about 10 months while the surgeon gave me fills attempting to get my band to the right restriction. I didn't gain any weight back, which was great but I stopped losing. The last fill I received 3 weeks ago. My surgeon filled me using fluorscopy to get the fill to a safe maximum fill for me. Now I have restriction and I've started losing weight again, YAY! My point is this, everyone's journey is different. When I looked at the weight others were losing, it was easy to get discouraged, and sometimes I did, But I hung in there and worked with my surgeon. This is a process, not a race. We need to be careful when comparing ourselves to others. Good luck with your process!

You bet I had problems. So I learned not to eat it. You to will get by without it. Remember: That flour, and Water turns to glue. That Glue will forever stick to you.

It's awful to feel alone. Have you considered going to a food Addicts Anonymous meeting? There are even online meetings. Www.foodaddictsanonymous.org

why would you want a tummy tuck at 4 weeks post op. what happens when you lose all your weight it would be useless at this point.

Thanks; wouldn't call it luck though. Willpower and working my ass off? Yep.

Hello Lisa3, Here is my diet ( I start it Tomarrow ) and use every day for the next 2 weeks; * Daily food goals* A. 4 Protein drinks such as Carnation Instant Breakfast, 0 sugar carbs added, mixed with 1% milk, Glucerna or High Protein Slimfast B. 1 meal consisting of 4oz Lean protein and 2 cups Vegetables. C. 2 servings of fruit per day. Daily Fluid goals are: 64 or more ounces of calorie-free fluid every day such as Water or fruit 2O All food and fluit must be consumed. Use Fiber supplements as directed on package for constipation. AND if you desire, you may include 2 additional Snacks per day of 1/2 cup diet Gelatin and/or sugar- free popsicles. Read all your food labels on other drinks to make sure they are calorie-free FOOD SUBSITUTIONS **Insteat of 1% milk ---- 1 cup fat free Yogurt Breyer's, Yoplait, Columbo ( all light ), Dannon Light 'n **Vegetables------ 1 Tomato, 1 cup chopped vegetable mix including red and green bell peppers, cucumber, celery and onion, 1/2 cup chopped carrots, 1/2 cupsteamed broccoli,carrots or green Beans. **Fruit---- 1 apple or orange, 1/2 banana, 1/2 cup grapes, 1 cup melon, 1/2 cup canned pineapple in juice, 1 cup fresh pineapple, 1/2 cup packaged fruit in juice, or 1/2 cup uncweetened applesauce. **4 Ounces cooked protein---- chicken, Tuna packed in water,drained, fish ( grilled, baked, broiled ), Cooked turkey breast, cooked pork tenderloin, OR 3 ounces of the following Proteins, lean beef ( loin or round ) or cooked lean ham. 2 teaspoons oil and vinegar for greens or 1 tablespoon regular salad dressing or 2 tablespoons light salad dressing. I hope this helps with your confusion, My surgery is May 4th. My diet was given to me by my Surgeon, she is very good in here field and she is also a teaching Dr. at Harvard Medical School, her diet is going to make this pre-surgery diet a little better and easier to follow.GOOD LUCK and keep in touch!