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"You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance. Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life. It’s true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!” Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

When I first decided to have VSG, I didn’t initially come to this board. I did my research, talked to my Drs. and went through the process. Any questions that I had, I was able to research through the internet and typically I found answers. If I couldn’t I would discuss them with my Dr. or my nutritionist during my 6 month pre-op requirement. I found this board just days before my surgery. I came here looking for mutant people like myself. People whose life had spun out of control and sought solace and comfort in excessive food and drink. People who had decided that they have had enough of the churn. People that were taking the steps to improve their health and their lives. People that actually allowed themselves to be spread out on an operating table and let a group of strangers cut out a perfectly good stomach. You see, I don’t have a lot of support at home as my spouse had RNY a few years back and failed to maintain her weight and is fairly obese again. She’s been pretty passive aggressive about the whole thing and, well that’s a whole Jerry Springer episode all in itself. I don’t have any close family, and I didn’t share my surgery with anyone who was particularly close friend wise. For some unexplained reason, I needed to be in a tribe for this journey, so I found this board. I came here and I met a whole raft of nice people, people that I enjoyed conversing with on a daily basis, mutants like myself (you all know who you are, and I thank you for the friendship that you all have extended to me). I learned things on this board and I contributed and tried to support. As I did, I came to realize that this surgery is a whole lot tougher on some people than it had been for me both physically and mentally. I guess that I had focused so much on trying to lose the weight and get healthy, that I didn’t see WLS as that big of deal. I’ve done every diet, taken nutrition classes as part of my school work, was a pretty faithful follower of good gym habits; I just couldn’t put down the fork and the cup. I barreled through all this like I always had, by not taking any prisoners. It never occurred to me that others weren’t like that, so it was an eye opening experience to hear the struggles of others. As I tried to pass along my experiences and support, I started getting offline messages. Some were funny, some were more questions, but over the last couple of weeks, I got a couple that were just down right mean. I was being chided for responding in an honest and forthright manner, not being judgmental, but offering an opinion based on experience and facts. Then last week, I was perusing a thread over in one of the other sections that basically called out the so called “vets” on the board for hijacking threads and interjecting silliness and nonsense into too many threads. The poster felt like all this should be relegated to the chat room and policed off the boards. What really melted my butter was a reply by someone that I had truly respected, and someone that had been chastised openly on the board for some of their responses, actually agreeing with the poster about how some of the “vets” handled their posts. This was someone that I had actually defended and sent a message of encouragement to, now blazing away at others (and myself, in my opinion) on the board. It was a wake-up call that maybe there are mutants here that don’t come here for the same reasons that I do. Maybe they feel that this should be a very narrow, well patrolled repository of information and facts, and that there’s no room for a joke and a smile and a bit of irreverent behavior among the tribes people. So, last week I decided to take a few days away from VST and figure out what I wanted from it. Had I graduated from the tribe of mutants? Was this drama that seems to interweave itself into threads on a regular basis worth it? Had I really been that callus in my responses as I was accused of being? I even visited another gastric sleeve board just to get a perspective of how the other tribes live. Then, it dawned on me that we all come here to get something that we need. It might be information, it might absolution, it may be reassurance, and it might even be a joke when we need one, but we all come here seeking something. Because my reasons for being here are different from others, I shouldn’t be castigated for offering an opinion or a word of tough love or even warm and fuzzy encouragement. I shouldn't feel bad to have a joke with a fellow mutant about some nonsense. But, I have decided that for now, it is best that I don’t participate as regularly as I have in the past. I want to continue to learn, I want to see how others react to their quest for health, but mainly I want to be with my tribe. I can do that from the lurkers chair just as easy as I can by participating and I don’t have to sweep the drama from my mailbox. Thanks for listening – I appreciate each and every one of you for taking the courage to make the life altering changes necessary to live a long and happy life. Peace.... John

I do believe that LBT installed a block button if you care not to read peoples post that bother you. The last I checked we all have our own mothers and no one here can tell anyone that they are sick of reading their post. If you are then block them that way you will NEVER HAVE TO SEE WHAT THEY POST AGAIN. Frankly Im sick of people telling people what they can and can't post. Who cares its a forum its public and the last time I checked we can disagree, debate, argue etc as long as it is in the forum rules. There is no name calling so why does it bother some so much. If you spend that much time on lap band talk then maybe you should find something else to do. Do I like everything that everyone post? NO if I don't care to read it I move on or block them. It really is a simple task and only takes five minutes or less to find that block button. If you don't know how to do it then find someone who does. First of all if it bothers you so much what people post then you have an issue. I don't believe that every single person in the world will ever agree on the same issues. If you have a political thread is will get uglier then any that are on here. So block those that irritate you and move on.

Seriously??? Did that happen to ME?? Three co-workers called me skinny yesterday. I have NEVER, and I mean NEVER, EVER, EVER been called skinny in my entire life. I am still trying to process the new me. It has taken some adjustments, especially trying to shop for clothes. I don't know what size to buy anymore---I find myself gravitating naturally toward the plus sizes. I still feel like and see myself as the fat girl, and it shocks the heck out of me to see a picture of myself. This is so bizarre, but totally bizarre in a wonderful, surreal way. I decided to have the sleeve for better health, and before the surgery, being thinner was not the biggest motivation for me. I have never been thin, and I had no plans or big ideas about what I would look like after losing weight; I just wanted to be healthy. I thought I was so prepared emotionally and mentally, but I just can't comprehend this new person I see in the mirror. I am very grateful that the weight is coming off, and having met my goal of being healthy has been great. But, I don't know how to deal with all of the attention I am getting. Part of me, of course, likes to hear the compliments. But, a great part of me is kind of embarrassed, shy, and feeling a bit overwhelmed with the questions: how are you doing this, give me some pointers, show me what you are doing, etc. Until I saw a recent picture of myself and compared it to my before picture, I just didn't realize the change in my body---I look in the mirror every day, so I don't see the changes as much. I have not shared how I am losing weight with a lot of people, so the questions of how I am losing weight is a bit difficult for me to answer. My standard answer on how I am losing weight is HARD WORK! I sometimes feel deceitful when people ask me how I am losing weight, but hard work it is!! I tell them I am on a high protein, low carb diet, and that I exercise at least 4 times a week. And that is the absolute truth! Does anyone else feel bad for not sharing the whole story when people ask you how you are losing weight?

I've found that in the 4 weeks since I've had my surgery I am obsessing about how much weight I'm losing. I'm losing a decent amount, but I want to make this work so badly I've forgotten about patience. Patience hasn't always been a virtue of mine, but I'm thinking this is something I'm going to have to work on. I didn't get fat overnight. It happened over years and I'm expecting to lose so much in months. Don't ge me wrong, I still think its important for me to have goals. I just need to be realistic. This is not a sprint to the finish line its a life changing marathon, with hills, valleys, and bumps. I'm really appreciating the people on here who are so open and caring to give me good advice and help keep my mind straight and help me realize what's happening with my mind and body is normal. Today, I am going to stop worrying. I will follow my Doctor's instructions and walk through my journey, so hopefully one day soon I will be able to help others.

I love food, I mean really love food (which is why I hit 247). I have always been a foodie. While sweets were never a huge pull for me, I find myself wanting them more now, but I have managed to stay away from them except special occassions. I am and always have been a protein / carb girl. I am mildly adventurous, willing to try new foods and such. Since being banded I have found I like: Greek Yogurt, couscous, beans. I eat a lot more fish (talapia, salmon, mackeral). Being that I love to cook I am always researching new things and new ways of cooking. I still, however, do enjoy going out to eat. What I like best is having someone else clean the kitchen! Last night, Valentines, the hub wanted to go to the 1st resturant we ever went to. That resturant is On the Border, which serves southwest style food. I love southwest/mexi, but it is loaded with salt and calories. I downloaded the nutrition and was shocked the my southwest chicken taco's were 1200 calories- ouch. I found that the fajita mix was a better choice, I was able to order the chicken with grilled onion, pepper, zuchini, with no sides (beans, rice, tortillas). I ate just the meat and veggie and ask for sauce on the side (which I only used a bit of). Since I hadn't been there since surgery this really showed how my eating has changes. Before surgery I would eat the meat, veggies, rice, beans, tortillas and a dessert. Last night I wasn't even able to get down all of the meat and veggies. Wow, what a change. My husband said he was so proud of me. I went home feeling good and not over stuffed. Yes, this morning my weight was up by a pound, the salt really worked on me. So today I am drinking my water like a made woman and cutting the salt back. I guess this is what life should be like, not giving up the food we love, just cutting back on the amount and making adjustment for the bad stuff. What in the heck did I learn this years ago??

It’s day seven of my liquid diet, and today was the first time I really struggled. First, let me say that today was a great day in many respects. My husband and I took our oldest on a college visit today where he and other students auditioned and interviewed for theater scholarships. I’m not just saying this because I’m his mom—my son did great! Some of the professors even told me so afterwards. He had such a great experience today (this was our second visit), that he decided to commit to the school, which is a huge load off of all of our minds. My son really shined today, and I’m excited about this new chapter in his life. He's going to do amazing things! Okay, now here’s the crabby part. This, as many of you already know, is just a really hard time of year to be on a liquid diet. (Though I'm sure every time of the year has its own unique challenges.) While on campus today, we were treated to lunch in a recently updated dining hall that truly is more like a collection of restaurants. It puts my old college’s microwave eggs and frozen pizzas to shame! And it was a social lunch, one that was stretched out for an hour so that we could talk to the faculty and visit with other prospective students. I felt a little self-conscious about my tiny bowl of soup (which probably wasn’t even technically on my list) as people went back for seconds. Then, we were enthusiastically encouraged to hit the icecream bar. I got another diet soda—a no-no, I know, but at least it wasn’t the icecream bar, and it made me feel like I was having a treat. After a very long two hour drive, we got back into town right around supper time and stopped to pick up my two younger kids from my mom’s house. When we got there, my kids showed off the frosted Christmas sugar cookies they made and everyone endulged—except me. Now, I can see this as a small victory, and I do, but I felt bad because my 3 year old daughter didn’t entirely understand why I wasn’t eating her special cookies. And I felt like my mom was disappointed in me too. Maybe it was in my head, but she kept looking at me like, “Come on, Jennie, just eat one, for your kids.” Then Mom continued to talk about how excited that she was that her favorite pizza place was moving back into our neighborhood. I got out of there as quickly as I could. As soon as I got home, my phone was ringing. My little sis, who lives 3 hours away, is hosting a girls weekend at her place this weekend. It’s the first time she’s had many of the girls of the family down to visit since she moved there, and she’s especially excited because she has a beautiful new home and it’s all decked out for the holidays. Plus, she’s newly pregnant. If you haven’t noticed already—backing out of the trip is simply not a possibility. She is really supportive of what I’m doing, but in her defense, she’s been planning this weekend for a while, and certainly not just for me. So on the agenda for the weekend: a winery (and I LOVE wine—it’s kinda my thing), a local festival of fresh baked goods and Christmas crafts (the crafts should be cool), and then out on the town for dinner in Kansas City. Sigh. This is going to be a tough week, I can tell. But, here it is: I have 7 days left, and A LOT to do. I have to get sub plans ready for the 9 days I’ll miss work, and I pretty much need to have Christmas shopping and wrapping done before I leave town Friday. I teach a college night class, and the grades for that are due next week, and I have to take my student group out to buy gifts for ten area needy kids that we “adopted” for Christmas. I’m hoping that I’m so busy, I won’t have time to lament the loss of real food. Though this weekend will be tough. I’ll just have to keep focused on my surgery. It will be here before I know it. Writing this all down has really helped me get my head around where I am emotionally today. Maybe I wanted to eat more today because, even though it’s a really wonderful milestone, there’s something very bittersweet in my son’s final selection of a college. This is exactly the kind of thing that I would have celebrated by going out for a nice, high calorie dinner! And maybe it’s bothering me that I don’t feel as supported by my extended family as I wish I was. But on the other hand, I’m never going to change them, and I love them how they are. I’m sure I drive them nuts from time to time. And my husband has been amazing. He’s passing on food all the time just so that he’s not eating in front of me. He is even making all of the dinners for the kids right now, which allows me to make my shake/soup/yogurt/whatever and go sit and unwind a minute alone at the end of the day. So I have a lot to stay positive about—I’ve having the surgery, afterall. I’m only days away from something I’ve wanted for almost two years. So I just need to stay positive. Stay positive.

My Lap-band is a great tool for my weight loss journey, if only I could band my head. How many times have we thought that? I read it on threads all the time. Well, we can band our head. In fact I have a Banded Brain Tool and it’s called SUPPORT. It comes in all different shapes and sizes. My Banded Brain Tool consists of five things: Cheerleaders – these are my family and friends who from the sidelines are cheering me on. It’s my hubby seeing me struggle and walking up to me whispering in my ear, “You are doing so incredible on this journey, I’m so proud of you.” Or my friends saying, “You look great!” Support Group – My support group meets once a month. Seeing fellow bandster, exchanging stories and ideas gets me from month to month. LapBandTalk – I log on every day, check in with my friends, help and support other bandsters as well as get help and support. MyFItnessPal – Keeps me honest with my food intake and my friends offer help and ideas here too. FitBit – My pedometer on steroids! I never though one little electronic devise would get me climbing stairs every day. It sends me emails when I earn a new badge (never forget the first day I climbed 50 flights – I was a dancing fool). I compete with my friends to see who can walk the most steps and we encourage each other one. Between my Lap-band and Banded Brain Tool I have been able to succeed with my weight loss.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, he'll sleeve me tomorrow.....it's only a day away!!! Yes, I love music.....and shoes. Funny how those 2 things seem to be the back drop of my life and memories. But for tomorrow, I am as ready as I'll be. My mother asked yesterday if I was afraid, if I was prepared. My answer was, " I don't have time to be afraid or prepare. Are you kidding me?" And that is so true. Between work (I really do love my job), my 4 kids, and 1 very pregnant daughter in law.....I am a busy girl. I laughingly told my mom "I'm really kinda looking forward to the 24-48 hours of peace and quiet!"......she just sighed. My sister calls today (she is the youngest). She is excited for me to have the WLS so she can see how much trouble it is. Honestly, why am I the guinea pig? I'm the oldest, that's why. She's obese too and knows something has gotta give.......she's just hoping that something won't be her knee! Weight, really is a ghost......haunts every aspect of your life. My kiddos are pretty pumped. The father's day card I gave their father depicted a man dressed in tails with a shapely woman in a red dress on his arm (wearing great, black, high high heels). They all laughed and said,"Dad, that'll be you and mom next year!' I laughed too cause I was thinking the same thing!! I don't have any wisdom, poignant thought at this point. I'm too busy day dreaming about really great heels.................

Dear Food, I know you think I'm stupid for talking to you because...well, you're food and you can't hear me. I just want to tell you that it's been quite a ride these last 42 years. We've had our ups and ups and ups and ups and downs and ups and ups. It's time for our relationship to change. I'm not breaking up with you, because I still need you to live, however, our relationship has to change now. And really....believe me when I say...It's not you. It's me. I'm the one with the problem, so don't ever blame yourself. You're really sweet. And salty. And delicious...OH WHAT AM I SAYING....how can we ever part?? NO!! We must part for a time. Two weeks- no more than five, I promise. When we come back together- things will be different. You must hide your sweetness from me. Don't tempt me further with your refinements. I want to see the REAL you....the one with all the vitamins and minerals and protein...yes...I said protein. Hey, I told you things were going to change. And for pete's sake, stop bringing your friends around! But don't worry...you'll always have a place...sorta...close to my heart... No, I didn't have a mental break. I start liquids Monday. (siiiigh)