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About this blog

The things I learned pre and post surgery

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Premier Protein Drinks Review - Chocolate

I almost finished my first one without stopping, it was so good. The chocolate shakes deserve 2 thumbs up in a Z formation!   Very good taste, no grittiness. I like them better than the EAS chocolate carb control shakes. Although I do wish both brands were a little thicker.   I've tried Muscle Milk, EAS, Pure Soy and Premier Protein chocolate shakes and Premier Protein has been the best for flavor and smoothness. Very yummy, almost as good as chocolate milk.   Price wise, they are a little more expensive than EAS. EAS are 4 for $5 at Walmart. Premier Protien was 12 for $19 at Sam's Club (my Walmart didn't carry Premier).   But as good as Premier tastes, I will won't mind paying a little more. I only wish Sam's had the Premier Protein bars as well - but they were sold out. Maybe next trip.  
joatsaint

joatsaint

22
 

NSV - Peeing Like A Man

Well, this is embarrassing to admit, but for the past 2 years I've had to sit down to pee. At some point my gut and the fat pooch above my junk got too big and it was a real hassle (and messy) to use the urinals. So it was just easier and cleaner to sit on the toilet.   So it was a happy surprise when I realized yesterday that I could use the urinals again. My job requires a dress shirt.   I hated having to drop trou, tuck my shirt tale back in, and fight with my belt every time I went to the bathroom.   Now I can go back to hosing down the back of the urinal and destroying the cigarette butts at the bottom. :-P   P.S. They must think guys are pretty dumb around here. I saw a sign above the urinal that read, "Please don't eat the big white mint!"  
joatsaint

joatsaint

6
 

Shrinkage! - How Big's Your Meat?

I was truly surprised to see the calorie difference between 4oz. of 93% hamburger and 85% hamburger. Almost 110 calories per 4oz.!   Even though the 93% costs about $1 per lb more, I've noticed that, after cooking, the amount of cooked hamburger is almost the same between the two. There's so much shrinkage, that they are pretty much the same in cost in the end. So I think I'll spend the extra dollar per pound and save 110 calories.       I thought it might be enlightening to grab some common calorie counts for ground beef, chicken and turkey and compare them side-by-side.   Click on the pics to enlarge them.       Standard Disclaimer: This is by no means the definitive numbers for these products. The numbers vary depending on the manufacturer. These numbers are presented to make you aware of the differences in calorie counts and fat content.   You can find much more specific details by manufacturer or by food group by searching this database: http://caloriecount....oods&searchpro=   George Carlin's Advertising Disclaimer:   No cash? No problem! No kidding! No fuss, no muss, No risk, no obligation, no red tape, no down payment, No entry fee, no hidden charges, no purchase necessary, No one will call on you, no payments or interest till September.   Limited time only, though, so act now, order today, send no money, Offer good while supplies last, two to a customer, each item sold separately, Batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final, Allow six weeks for delivery, some items not available, Some assembly required, some restrictions may apply.   So come on in for a free demonstration and a free consultation with our friendly, professional staff. Our experienced and knowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a selection that's just right for you and just right for your budget.   And say, don't forget to pick up your free gift: a classic deluxe custom designer luxury prestige high-quality premium select gourmet pocket pencil sharpener. Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary. It's our way of saying thank you.   And if you act now, we'll include an extra added free complimentary bonus gift at no cost to you: a classic deluxe custom designer luxury prestige high-quality premium select gourmet combination key ring, magnifying glass, and garden hose, in a genuine imitation leather-style carrying case with authentic vinyl trim. Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary. It's our way of saying thank you.
joatsaint

joatsaint

3
 

Girl! You Ain't Gonna Believe This! or How to Explain Your VSG Scars

How To explain away my scars?   OK, this is awful so don't read if you are easily offended and do not appreciate a sick sense of humor.         Warning! Don't read if you are easily offended!                 Last Warning! Sick Humor below!!!!!         Shanked in prison... Shuts them up every time! - VSGKirk   Some idiot: What happened? You: I had abdominal surgery. Idiot: What kind? You: The kind that involves the abdominal area. - newat52   Tijuana knife fight. - Kristina J.   I had some "woman issues " - chell1978   Texas mosquito bites   I was knifed by an exotic dancer in TJ.   Full contact scrapbooking injury... When you get the weird look, you can fill in that scrapbooking is getting really intense now that scrappers are trying to make the hobby "athletic enough" for the Olympics.   Bears. But never mind my scar, you should check out my awesome new rug!   My wife said somtimes I don't know my place.   Tell them you are trying to avenge your father and ask if they have six fingers on their right hand.   Two words, "Satin sheets"   I don't want to go into details, but suffice to say, I won't be allowed in that Benihana for a while.   The first rule of Fight Club is 'don't talk about Fight Club'   They say you can't get blood from a stone - well, the IRS tried!   Remember when your mom told you not to run with scissors?   I was watching the DIY network and they did a show on bodylifts...   A zombie tried to eat my brains and missed.   Tell them as much as you'd love to talk about it you just can't because your defense attorney and parole officer advised you to keep your mouth shut until after the trial.   I got this in a bar fight when I used to ride with Hells Angels.   That's where the aliens probed me   Don't worry about it. Because of me, they now have a to put on warning labels!   Well, let me just tell you this: You should NEVER EVER, under ANY circumstances, go out with a guy/girl that you met on the internet.   "I was oyster hunting." They give me a blank stare. Then I say, with a wink, "You've obviously never been oyster hunting before."   I was at this party with Marilyn Manson and everyone was giving out hugs.   I lost a fight with a can of tuna fish.   I slipped while making a salad.   I fell asleep, and the clown got me.   I'll just put it this way: when they tell you not to feed the bears, it's for a damned good reason.   I'm a blade sharpness tester   "I had an accident with a scalpel." [person asks why] "Well, you know that guy who woke up in an ice bath and his kidney was gone? Er... this had nothing to do with it. Honest."   You know how dogs chase their tails? Well it has nothing to do with that. Nor does it have anything to do with cat scratches. Or the faeries that visit me nightly *ramble on*... What was I talking about?   I thought those security tags on pants just sprayed ink, but apparently they spray shards of broken glass, too.   "Oh, these?" *embarrassed face* "I know they look horrible, but the sex was INCREDIBLE!"   "...Are you consipring aginast me? What's with all the questions? Who wants to know the answers?" *and upon interrupting "I'm doing the talking here" and then continue to ramble until they back away. "...They'll come and get you too. Run while you still can"   Knifed by an exotic dancer. Terrible. Yes, they're nasty that way.   I had unprotected sex with a porcupine.   I took my lizards for a walk and they held on for dear life.   The neighborhood cat and I had a disagreement about the paw prints on my truck.   The police didn't comply with the terrorists' demands fast enough, so they took it out on us hostages.   I keep falling off of cliffs trying to catch that damned roadrunner.   The voices told me to do it.   I did this as a sacramental offering to my dark lord, you prick. ::Smile::   In my past life I was a ninja.   It sucks having parents who are sadists.   My boyfriend and I accidentally went overboard during our last S & M session.   I moon light as a stunt-woman who dives through glass windows.   Look at your scars and frown You mean you don’t have any?   Well, last time it was an alien baby. I’m actually kind of relieved.   I had a narrow escape from a firing squad.   Now that is an interesting question; it all ties in with the eternal enigma: why are we here, for what purpose does life on earth exist? go on about the meaning of life until everyone gets bored and goes away   Carving a turkey is harder than it looks   You want me to show you? smile evily   Don’t EVER give blood abroad!   Well, I tend to get a little violent with the computer when it doesn’t cooperate.   Oh those? Bad juggling accident. I don’t like to talk about it. I’m much better now   Oh these? Hmm, I dunno, they’ve just always been there. Well, I mean, ever since I took over this body, anyway. Strange, don’t you think?   Ozzy Osborne is my uncle and we have some kick butt family reunions!   Those psychology experiments are soooo not worth the extra credit…   Oh my god! Never, EVER try taking candy from a baby!   A reminder of my Pirating days....   My trained attack dragon did before I got him trained...   I had a duel.   Did you know chickens aren't all soft and fluffy?   Playing Slug Bug with a cat is a reaaally bad idea.   Oh this? *point at scar* That's where my twin used to be attached.   Lightsaber battle   I kicked Chuck Norris' ass all I got was this lousy scar!   Tell them you had to help Jack Bauer escape from the Russians and that's the last time you'll cover his pansy ass.   Narrowly escaped a zombie attack   Fell on the runway-it's Fashion Week   Rachel Ray's dog attacked me.   I just tell people it's a "sex wound."   My husband is ... just ... a WILD MAN, what can I say?             That's all folks!                   Really, that's all there is.                   No hablo the english? There isn't anymore. Stop scrolling!                   Ok, okay, one last one.   It's where the alien burst out. What, you think they only come out of chests?         Satisfied!??????????
joatsaint

joatsaint

18
 

Ultimate Revenge on a Telemarketer or How I Gave It Back to a Telemarketing Sociopath

First, let me say honestly and with all my heart – I hate telemarketers.   I believe that anyone that is a telemarketer is an undiagnosed sociopath and should kill themselves.   Seriously, if you are a telemarketer – KILL YOURSELF! Really, I’m not joking…KILL YOURSELF, NOW… I’ll wait.   Now, this may sound like a conversation right out of sitcom, but it happened to me.   A telemarketing firm was trying to gather information about our company to include us in some kind of “green” business directory. My office was bombarded with literally dozens of phone calls.   Basically they wanted to know what we did, how many employees we had, the amount of our budgets, and the who’s who of our executive staff.   At the time, we had over 120 employees and everyone’s phone number is published on our web site. So it was very easy for the telemarketers to get ahold of us.   Apparently they had a team of callers, each with a copy of our phone numbers. We were getting repeated calls to the same phone numbers over and over, from different telemarketers.   Now as we are a service oriented business, we are trained to be polite and courteous to every caller, no matter the situation. They would call, we would politely tell them that we could not give them the information they wanted, 30 minutes later -a new telemarketer would call, rinse and repeat.   We had so many repeat phone calls that it was interfering with our regular business operations. Finally, our executive director sent out an email telling us, next time we get a call, please tell them politely to stop calling us.   Day one was irritating, day two was annoying, and on day three – they finally picked my phone to call.   The first call I received, I politely told the sociopath on the other end that we could not provide them with the information they were requesting. Two hours later, I told the next sociopath, politely, that I was not allowed to give them (and I was not privy to) information regarding our payroll and budgets and to please stop calling our offices. The third call, I recognized the number on the caller ID, I was ready for them.   The conversation goes as follows:   Me: “Thank you for calling ______. This is Randy”   Sociopath: “Hello, I’m calling from ______. Can I ask you for some information about your company?”   Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t give that information out over the phone. What information we do give out is posted on our website.”   Sociopath: “Can’t you tell me who your director is and the approximate budget size of your department?”   Me: “No, I’m sorry, but I can’t provide you with that information.”   “Your associates have been calling our office for the past two days asking those types of questions, and repeatedly calling the same phone numbers over and over.”   “Our director has told us to ask you to stop calling our office. I have had two other calls from your company in the past few hours. And I have asked each caller to stop calling, but your staff will not stop calling.”   “We cannot give out the information you want.”   Sociopath: “Hold sir.”   At this point I’m transferred to a manger or some higher up sociopath.   Sociopath Manager: “Hello, my name is ____. Don’t you want to be part of our “green” business directory? We are creating a business directory that features companies like yours that recycle and operate in and environmentally manner.”   Me: “I’m sorry, but we cannot release the information you want over the phone. If you want a list of our staff, it is on our website, but I don’t have access to or permission to give out financial information about our office."   “On top of that, your people have been calling us for the past three days, calling the same person multiple times, even after being told that we were not allowed to give out the information and please stop calling. Some of our people have gotten a dozen calls in one day.”   Sociopath Manager: “Maybe you don’t understand. Don’t you want your company to be listed in our “green” directory? I’m sure it would be a plus for your company to be recognized as being an environmentally friendly business.”   At this point, an evil thought entered my head. (Picture me sitting there with an angle on one shoulder and a devil on the other – scratch that, there was a devil on both shoulders! :-P)   Me: “I’m sorry, but maybe you don’t understand. We are an information business. And information is valuable. We charge for providing information.”   Sociopath Manager: “Yes, sir. But what has that got to do with being in our directory?”   Me: “Well, we charge for answering questions. We charge $25 for each question we answer over the phone.”   Sociopath Manager: “That’s a lot, to answer a question.”   Me: “Yes it is, but information is valuable. At this point I must inform you that this phone call is being recorded and if you ask one more question, you accept our terms and conditions and agree to pay $25 for each additional question.”   Sociopath Manager: “You’re kidding?”   Me: “Thank you for asking a question and acknowledging that your company is agreeing to pay the $25 per question fee. Please feel free to ask anything you want.”   CLICK!...   He hung up!...   The nerve!   When I hung up and turned around, my director was standing there with a horrified look on her face.   I asked, “What’s wrong?”   And she asks, “What if they file a complaint against us?”   I asked, “File a complaint with WHO? They called me, I didn’t call them. I was polite and treated them with respect at all times. They have been calling all our departments for three days now, repeatedly calling some of us, even after we have nicely asked them to stop calling.”   “Obviously, they do not care what we want or that they are costing us man hours and interfering with our operations.”   She says, “You lied to them. We don’t charge for answering questions over the phone.”   I replied, “They don’t know that. And how would they find out?”   At this point, my director gives up and walks away. With a worried look that said, “Somehow a telemarketing company is going to lodge a complaint against us.” Because I lied to a telemarketer!   But we didn’t get any more calls from them – ever.   P.S. I’m still trying to figure out who the telemarketing company would complain to and how the conversation would go?   I imagine it would be something like this:   “Hello, we would like to register a complaint against a business that lied to us.”   “Yes, sir. Could you describe the situation?”   “Yes. For three days, we have been repeatedly calling every phone number at a business, asking them for their financial information, budgets, names of staff, names of their directors and executive staff. And they have told us that they can’t give us that information and to please stop calling them. As our phone calls are disrupting their normal operations.”   “Yes, sir. Go on.”   “Well, on the third day of calls, I talked with a gentleman that informed me that THEY charge $25 per question. I was so perplexed that I hung up, told my staff to stop calling, and have been afraid to call them again – as we might get charged. Since then, I have been afraid to make probing calls to other businesses! Afraid to ask questions that even I realize no sane business person would answer over the phone.”   “It’s really interfering with my staff’s ability to continue normal business operations.”   “Since that time, I have learned that gentleman lied to me. They in fact, DO NOT charge $25 per question. I want to lodge a formal complaint!”   Pause   “Thank you for your call sir. I would be happy to register your complaint. But first I must tell you that this phone call is being recorded and that we charge $25 ……………”
joatsaint

joatsaint

14
 

My Favorite Mexican Food

One of my favorite Mexican foods. I've been eating this stuff for about 4 weeks straight.   I got all the ingredients at Walmart. It cost about $4 for 2 days worth of meals (4 - 6 meals in my case). It's very filling and sticks with me.   1 lb of chicken breast. 1 pkg of Taco Bell Taco seasoning. (I tried other name brand taco mixes and the store brands, Taco Bell tastes the best and is just as cheap. There is a Taco Bell chipolte version as well, but I liked the regular version the best. )   1 can of gebhardt refried beans w/fat. (I tried the non-fat version and I like the fat version better. It only has 2grams of fat per serving.)   Salsa or Picante or Taco sauce to taste 1 pkg of your favorite shredded cheese.     I grill the chicken breast and run it through my food processor. Mix the taco seasoning with about 1/2 cup of water and mix it thoroughly. I mix it in my protein shake shaker. Toss the chicken into a pot or pan and add the taco seasoning. Bring it up to a boil and then reduce the heat to a simmer. Let it simmer for about 20 minutes.   Mix the chicken and beans in a bowl. Add some salsa if it's too thick for your taste.     Spoon some of the mixture into a bowl and top with cheese and salsa.  
joatsaint

joatsaint

6
 

Beans Beans...The Musical Fruit...or Green Beans, Mother Nature's Broom

Ok, in the interest of full disclosure, the 1st part of the title isn't true about green beans - at least not in my case, they don't give me gas. But the good news is, they do make me "regular."   Garden season has sprung in Texas and my dad's green beans are coming up like weeds. As usual, he planted waaaaaaay too many green bean plants and is complaining about having to get out there and pick them. And when I say waaaay too many, I mean just that. He has 3 rows of green bean plants - each row about 40 feet long. That's a lot for just my mom and dad.   I know that he secretly loves the fact that he has too many. He enjoys giving away the extras. But is always complaining that no one wants to come and pick. I try to tell him, "Grow something that people want and they'll come. No one wants to come dig turnips!"   Now a normal person would just pick what they could use and let the rest rot on the vine. Not my dad. He grew up at the end of the Depression and can't let anything go to waste - even if he never uses it.   So they will pick and can fruit and vegetables until the garden dies. Then, a year later, he's throwing out the old canned and frozen stuff to make room for new.   Mom, dad, and me picked about 5 gallons of green beans off one row, and that was AFTER they had already picked the row two times previously! So, they gotta lotta beans left to pick on the other rows.   Now I have a freezer stocked with fresh green beans.   Cooking them is simple: put in water, bring to a boil, add garlic, salt, and onion to taste. Boil for about 15 minutes. Poke with fork to test tenderness. Grab one with tongs for taste test. Blow on green bean to cool it off. Taste. Hold ice cube on burned tongue. Eat meal with green beans - not being able to taste anything because of burned tongue.   I've eaten a cup or two every evening for the past 4 days and I've gone to the bathroom once a day since I started eating green beans. My normal schedule is once every 4 days, until now. So I'm crediting the fiber in the green beans.     A cup of green beans has about 40 calories - 2 grams of fiber - 2 grams of carbs.   All varieties of green beans are low in calories and contain healthy nutrients: dietary fiber, calcium and iron. One cup has 200 milligrams of potassium, plus beta carotene and vitamin A.   Next month: One potato...two tomatoes   Keep Pimpin that Sleeve!
joatsaint

joatsaint

7
 

Taste Buds/Sense of Smell Change After Weight Loss Surgery

My sense of taste was out of whack for a few months post-op. And I've seen the question about changes in the way food tastes come up quite often on the board. This article was posted on WebMD - a UK hospital has evidence that it is pretty common to experience changes in the way things taste and smell after bariatric surgery.   My personal theory is that since we are literally forced to give up sugar (between the pre-op diet and going through the food stages post-op), our sense of taste is reset and we're no longer under the influence of sugar and processed foods.     Taste Changes Reported After Weight-Loss Surgery Sense of smell also altered for some patients in British study   WebMD News from HealthDay By Robert Preidt HealthDay Reporter   FRIDAY, April 18, 2014 (HealthDay News) -- After weight-loss surgery, many patients report changes in appetite, taste and smell, a new study says. One positive aspect of these changes is that they may lead patients to lose even more weight, the researchers suggested.   The study included 103 British patients who underwent Roux-en-Y gastric bypass surgery, in which the stomach is made smaller and the small intestines is shortened. Of those, 97 percent said their appetite changed after the surgery, and 42 percent said their sense of smell changed. Taste changes occurred in 73 percent of the patients, especially when it came to sweet and sour tastes, the researchers found. They especially noted changes in the taste of chicken, beef, pork, roast meat, lamb, sausages, fish, fast food, chocolate, greasy food, pasta and rice.   Nearly three-quarters of patients said they developed a dislike of certain foods, especially meat products. One-third avoided chicken, minced beef, beef steak, lamb, sausages, bacon or ham.   About 12 percent had an aversion to starches such as rice, pasta, bread and pastry and for dairy products such as cream, cheese, ice cream and eggs, 4 percent to vegetables, 3 percent to fruit and 1 percent to canned fish.   The researchers also found that patients with a newly developed distaste for certain foods lost an average of nearly 18 pounds more after their surgery than those whose taste wasn't affected, according to the study recently published online in the journal Obesity Surgery.   Although the study found an association between weight-loss surgery and sensory changes, it did not establish cause-and-effect.   The taste and smell changes experienced by many patients after weight-loss surgery may be due to a combination of gut hormone and central nervous system effects, according to lead author Lisa Graham, of the Leicester Royal Infirmary.   She noted that patients considering weight-loss surgery are typically told about the possible loss of taste and smell.   http://www.webmd.com/diet/weight-loss-surgery/news/20140418/appetite-taste-changes-reported-after-weight-loss-surgery
joatsaint

joatsaint

1
 

Does This Taste Funny?

It's been 7 weeks and my taste buds have been outta whack ever since surgery.   Today I noticed that things are getting back to normal. Up until today every flavor had to be very intense or it was bland.   I was mixing my Crystal Light 3 packs to a gallon, instead of the normal 2. But today, it just tasted too sweet and I had to water it down.   When I went out to eat tonight, I noticed the subtle flavors of my food - it actually tasted good. Normally I just bury it in salsa for the intense taste of salsa, what's under it didn't really matter.   So I think things are getting back to normal.   And one else experience something similar with flavors, smell, or touch?
joatsaint

joatsaint

4
 

Post-Op 28 Days - Passin Gas or Can You Smell What the Rock is Cookin?

Gastronomically, things are crazy. I've been passing gas (and I don't mean gas as in gas station!) every night. I wake up at 1:30am or 4:30am belching and farting like crazy. I've passed so much gas I'm afraid to turn on the lights - I might set off a spark and cause an explosion.   I can lay on my left side and feel okay. If I switch to my right, I can feel and hear gurgling in my stomach. Don't understand that. But it all stops right after I wake up for work, I guess that's a small blessing for my co-workers. :-)   I'm thinking that since my bowel movements have slowed to every other day, the food sitting in my intestines has more time to ferment.     Anyone else experience this?
joatsaint

joatsaint

7
 

Constipation and Milk of Magnesia Or How FEMA Declared My Bathroom A National Disaster

I swear that I see my toilet flinch each time I walk past the bathroom door. And I can hear my toilet give off the pitiful wail of a prisoner being tortured in a Medieval dungeon when I sit on the toilet, "Nooooo, nooooo, I'll tell you what you want to know. Just make it stop!"   It all started cause I was worried. I hadn't had a decent poop in over 5 days. What little pebbles did come out of me weren't nearly enough to the amount I had consumed. So I was worried. I went online looking for a good tasting, safe, effective, and not too powerful laxative. After all, I didn't want to be like a cartoon character hanging onto hand rails to keep from launching like a rocket off the toilet. Nor did I want to wait 24 hours or more for it to work and get caught too far from the toilet.   So I spent an hour or so reading the reviews on natural health forums and it boiled my choices down to Milk of Magnesia or Epsom Salts. I didn't want to drink the salt, so that left Milk of Magnesia. To the Batbuick! I didn't have a secret shaft to slide down, so I had to take the stairs. Na na na na, na na na na. Our hero finds himself standing in Walmart, debating the merits of original flavor or cherry. I chose cherry hoping it would be the least disgusting of the two flavors. My only weakness, bad flavors. I can stop bullets (well, once anyway) but I can't handle the yucky taste of medicine.   I made my purchase and raced back to my secret bunker. A detailed analyzation of a sample (I read the label) told me the chemical components of Milk of Magnesia is composed of Magnesium Hydroxide.   The instructions said to drink at least 8 oz. per tablespoon taken. I had my trusty Batmug handy, loaded with 30 oz. of Crystal Light lemonade. The adult dosage was 3 to 4 tablespoons for constipation. So of course I took 4. It also said that it was suppose to work within 5 hours. But others had said expect immediate action and not to wander too far from the toilet. So I was prepared to stay around the house for the next 5 or so hours.   The taste wasn't quite as bad as the barium the hospital gave me for the leak test, but it was pretty disgusting. 1/2 hour later, nothing. And there I sat, broken hearted, paid 4 bucks and only farted. More or less an hour later I felt the 1st rumblings. 1/2 hour later, time to RELEASE THE KRACKEN!   So all in all, it was a smooth move. So smooth in fact that I was worried it was another failure to launch. But when I looked behind me, it was everything I had dreamed a poo could be. Call Guinness, it was a monster. I could fight crime with a poo this big. I'm still working on my superhero name. Captain Poo, Pinch e Loaf a, Sir Bag of Crap, The Brown Stain, Skid Mark, The Brown Eye? Suggestions are welcomed.   Alls well that ends well, sort of. I overdosed a little (should have stuck with 2 or 3 tablespoons instead of 4) and everything I ate for the rest of the day passed through my system rapidly. Every 4 or 5 hours, I'd get the urge. Not - EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! - kinda urge, just the sense that I needed to get to the bathroom soon. And I kept drinking as much Crystal Light as I could. Milk of Magnesia's main ingredient pulls water into the intestines and I didn't want to get dehydrated.   So if you need to go, as I did, Milk of Magnesia gets a big thumbs up from me. My colon is so clean you could eat off it or fight crime with it, your choice. Just get your own superhero name.   Comments and suggestions are welcome. I'm trying to improve my writing. If you liked this post or hated it, please leave a comment.
joatsaint

joatsaint

25
 

Updated - Really Cool Recipe - Make Spaghetti Noodles from Chicken Meat

Update 4/5/2013   I tried making lasagna out of the noodles tonight. It tasted very good. I layered a small glass dish with the noodles, covered it with spaghetti sauce, put on a layer of sliced black olives, and a layer of mozzarella cheese. Baked for 30 minutes at 350 and let it sit in the oven for an additional 15 minutes.     ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I tried making my spaghetti noodles from the recipe below. It turned out really well. I couldn't leave the basic recipe alone and had to add some garlic and onion to the pureed chicken.   Also my store does not carry powdered eggs, so I bought a box of liquid egg whites and used that instead.   I picked up a squeeze bottle in the housewares section of Walmart for 97 cents.   And a jar of Alfredo sauce. It tasted pretty good with Alfredo, but I prefer spaghetti sauce on the noodles.   The toughest part was getting the right combination of water to chicken ratio. I wanted it thick enough hold together as it came out of the squeeze bottle, yet thin enough to pour into the squeeze bottle.   Never did get it right. It was thicker than I wanted and I wound up using the handle of spoon to poke it down the throat of a funnel and into the bottle.   So I got the water to a rolling boil and had my squeeze bottle loaded for bear. Gave it a big squeeze and started goin round and round like I was making a funnel cake. About the 5th round, the bottle gave out a big "SPLAT" - did you know that even the smallest droplets of boiling water hurt when they hit your forearms? So take a tip - turn the bottle upside down and tap it on the counter to pack down the liquid chicken as much as possible before squeezing over the boiling water!   It was a big chicken breast, probably 10oz.. It was enough to load the bottle 2 1/2 times.   Tips: Freeze the raw chicken until it's stiff and sounds kinda crunchy when you bend it. This will make it easier to cut into cubes and puree. I found out the hard way that floppy chicken tends to wrap itself around the blender blades. The warmer the chicken, the stretchier it gets.   Cut the chicken into 1 inch or smaller pieces - this will also help prevent the chicken from wrapping around the blades and extend the life of your blender motor.   Liquid egg whites work well in this recipe if you can't find the powdered egg whites. I used about 1/4 - 1/2 cup per chicken breast.       ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The recipe was off Rachael Ray's site.   Watch the video, use this link: http://www.rachaelra...ta-al-pomodoro/               Rocco DiSpirito's Pasta al Pomodoro         Aired on: April 1, 2013   6 grams of fat 133 calories   Ingredients 3/4 cup cold water
2 tablespoons egg white powder
6 ounces cold chicken breast, cut into 1 inch chunks
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
7 cloves garlic, sliced thin
1 pinch red chili flakes (pepperoncino)
2 cups whole fresh ready to burst ripe tomatoes, cut into large dice
Salt and fresh ground pepper to taste
1 ounce Parmigiano-Reggiano, freshly grated
16 leaves of fresh basil, torn by hand into small pieces
Yields: 4 Preparation     Boil 4 quarts of water in a large pot. Once the water is boiling add 2 tablespoons of salt. Preheat broiler. Place the water and the egg white powder in the beaker of a blender, and blend on low speed until all the powder has dissolved, then add the chicken breast and blend on high speed until smooth and glossy. Place the contents of the blender into a squeeze bottle and set in the refrigerator.   Pour the olive oil into a large nonstick sauté pan and then lay out the garlic slices in one even layer over the top of the pan. Place the pan over medium to high heat and cook the garlic until it begins to brown, then move the pan to the middle rack of the oven under the broiler to continue to brown the top of the garlic, about 1 minute. Place the pan back on the stove and add red chili flakes and half the basil leaves, cook for 15 seconds and then add the tomatoes. Cook the tomatoes over medium heat until the sauce comes to a simmer and let cook until the sauce has slightly thickened but still loose, about 2 minutes. Add half of the cheese and stir it completely into the sauce and turn off the stove and season lightly with salt and fresh ground black pepper.   Turn the boiling water down to low heat and squeeze the chicken mixture out of the squeeze bottle in a steady stream into the boiling water into strands the same length as spaghetti, about 10 inches until there is no more room on the surface of the water. Let the noodles cook for 30 seconds then remove them with a strainer or spider, set them aside in a bowl and repeat until all of the chicken mixture is used.   Add the noodles to the pan and turn the heat to medium high heat. Toss the pasta to coat evenly with a heat resistant rubber spatula and cook until the sauce begins to cling to the noodles. Add the remaining basil and check seasoning. Plate the pasta on four separate plates and sprinkle with remaining cheese.   Tip: Use a store-bought, fat free, no added sugar marinara sauce and you can make this meal in less then 10 minutes.   Per Serving: 133 calories, 6.17g fat (2g sat, 3g mono, 1g poly), 6.25mg cholesterol, 114.75mg sodium, 4.575g carbohydrates, 1.1g fiber, 13.05g protein
joatsaint

joatsaint

6
 

NSV #2 - You Best Step Off, B-hatch!

They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with 1 step. What they don't tell you is that the journey is a b*tch if you're on step 1!   1/14/2015 Well it's been a few months since I last walked. November to be exact. With the cold weather and injuries and sinus drainage, I was pretty much out of commission. We were at it hard during September and October, hitting new highs on speed, sometimes going as fast as 3.9 mph for 3 miles.   But November, my partner hurt his ankle and was out for 3 weeks, then I got terrible sinus headaches from breathing the smoke from neighbors burning piles of leaves and then the cold rain set in. So here it is, the middle of January and we haven't walked a mile per day. Fortunately, I've actually lost weight in that time and kept it off. My new job keeps me moving quite a bit.   8/26/2014 Wish there was more the report, but it's still HOT in Texas. Most days the temp is around 91 with a heat index of 101 when I walk. I've had to start wearing a water soaked towel around my neck and a hat while I walk to complete 3 miles. I've come close to heat exhaustion a few times and had to head over to the water faucet and soak my head till the dizziness clears. I thought I'd have built up a tolerance to the heat by now, but doesn't seem like that is going to happen. Good news is, the worst of the heat is over, once we hit September temps will slooooooowly creep down to the low 90's every evening. And by October, we'll be back in the 80's. I can't wait to see how fast I can do 4 miles when the temps are down in the 80's. Hopefully, I'll break the 15 minute mile. :-)   7/30/2014 I know I keep saying this, but OMG!!! IT'S HOT IN TEXAS! The good news is that today was a cloudy day and I managed 4.25 miles @ 3.6 mph. I should be up and above 4 mph by the time cool weather rolls in during October.   The heat is still in the 94 - 95 degree range with a heat index of 101 - 104. And as Madge said on the Palmolive dish-washing detergent, "You're soaking in it." :-P I'm still walking 5 days a week and hugging every inch of shade I can find! But I had to cut back to 3 miles, down from 4. I was just getting too dizzy and sick - even with using a water soaked towel to keep cool and carrying a water bottle. Monday, I had to stop at 2.5 miles and go soak my head under a water faucet. I hit a point and knew I had better get cooled off or something bad was about to happen.     7/24/2014 OMG!!! IT'S HOT IN TEXAS! For the past week it's been between 91 and 94 degrees with a heat index of 101 - 104... during the evenings... when I'm walking! I've had to begin carrying a wet towel and carry a water bottle to prevent dehydration and heat exhaustion. But aside from that, I've managed to walk between 3 and 4 miles in about an hour, averaging 3.5 - 3.7 mph. And haven't missed a day this week. But you gotta believe it when I say I was looking for ANY excuse to skip walking after work. But alas, the weather has been clear during the evenings and all the rain has managed to miss my exercise hour. I wonder how much it would cost me to have a crop duster fly up and seed some clouds just around the time I supposed to start walking????   7/04/2014 Another 3 miles (including 1 mile in total of jogging in short stretches) in the record book. It still amazes me when I think back to just 18 months ago when I would go to bed wondering how much it would hurt to walk from the car to my desk at work.   The Texas heat is a monster and I was really dreading walking (I mean baking) in 94 degree heat with a heat index of 101. That was yesterday! But I got rained out at the last minute. :-) ****Does happy dance**** I know, I know, I should be like those workout gurus and tell you how much I missed not going out there and sweating my ass off. But I gotta be honest and say I will take any "HONEST" excuse to duck out on walking in this heat. When I say "HONEST EXCUSE" I mean just that.... a real, "believable", reason (rain, when my car had a flat 2 weeks ago, or I feel like I've been pushing myself to the point of injury or sickness). Skipping a walk just because I don't feel like it is not enough.   So this morning the I had planned to walk with a friend at Claiborne Park just north of Vidor, TX. We normally do 3.25 miles and I've been increasing the distance I've been jogging. But the radar shows rain headed right for us in the next hour or so. So we cancelled it.   Instead I ran around my neighborhood. One lap around my block is approx. 1/2 mile. 2 long sides and 2 short sides. In 70 degree weather, I managed to run 12 of the short sides for a total of 1 miles....And the amazing part was I could have done more! So we'll see how much more tomorrow when I'm back out at Claiborne.     6/29/2014 Can't believe how well my attempts to jog are working out. Averaged 3.5 mph for 3.25 miles today. I walk a figure 8 style track and managed to jog the 4 straightaways all three laps. My next goal is to jog 1 mile non-stop. Shooting to reach that goal by the end of July. If the heat gets to be too much for me, my fall back plan is to go back to wearing the 30 lb weight vest and speed walk the trails.   6/19/2014 Another 3.25 miles down. Speed is still slow at 3.1 mph. Temp 91 degrees. Managed to make the whole circuit on 13 swallows of water. It's a pain to have to carry a water bottle on the trail, but it beats getting heat stroke!   It's been tough getting used to the Texas heat. The heat's really been kicked up a notch since the end of May. I thought it was bad when the temps were in the high 80's. Oh how I long for those days. My walking partner calls me the shade hunter. He's much more tolerant of the heat. He can walk in full sun for the whole 3.25 miles, while I zigzag on the trail - going from one patch of shade to the next. I think I may actually be walking farther than him, but he carries the GPS, so I have to go by his distance and time. Doesn't matter to me though, just completing the whole trail every day is a win.   06/18/2014 Man is it hot! The Texas Summer heat is just getting its stride and things are baking in the park. I'm up to 3.25 miles each day/ 3.1 mph while wearing a 30 lb vest. Fastest speed without the vest was 3.6 mph for 3.25 miles. Thinking it might be time to try the couch to 5k plan. Not really sure all this effort is worth the results. It's a vicious cycle - the more I get in shape the farther/faster I have to walk to burn the same amount of calories.   ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10/02/2013 Hit a new personal best time at the park. 3.2 miles an hour, did 3 point something miles in about 53 minutes or something close to that, I've forgotten the exact time. :-) But at least I'm getting better, both in distance and being able to recover enough to walk at the same intensity day after day. It seems like only yesterday (actually it was Jan 2nd) that I started my walking program by taking the long way around the office to the bathroom. :-P Just goes to show that taking small steps can add up to bigger things later on.   7/11/2013 Well, I lost Gilligan, my pedometer. I named him Gilligan cause he was my "little buddy". Not sure where he ran off to. I left the house with him on my hip and at the end of the day, he was gone.   So now I have Gilligan the 2nd or Gilligan the Next Generation, depending on your point of view. Gilligan II is a little smarter, so hopefully he won't get lost. He keeps track not only of my steps and mileage, but takes into account my weight, lists calories burned, total steps, aerobic steps (meaning any walking continuously for 10 minutes or more) and tells me how long I've been aerobically walking . And he remembers everything from the past 6 days.   The good news is that I've graduated to a 2 mile trail in a local park. It has lots of ups and downs - and the occasional rabbit/armadillo/snake/Pimp butterfly on the trail to keep things entertaining. And I'm able to make the walk 6 to 7 days a week.   My 1st goal was to be able to complete the 2 miles every day 6 to 7 days a week. I have reached that goal as of July.   The next goal is to start increasing my speed. See if I can break the 45 minute mark for completing the trail. Current best speed is 46 minutes.     5/17/2013 Finally! Made over 10k steps a day for 6 days in a row. My original goal was to do it for 5 days in a row. Plus as an added NSV, I have graduated from walking on flat, level surfaces to walking in a parking garage. I do the 1st 5k steps in the morning on level ground, but at lunch, I step it up (no pun intended) by going out to a 3 story parking garage. Having to walk up those inclines between floors add a whole new level to the phrase "pain in the butt!" :-P   I was walking next to a coworker yesterday and she said, "I smell smoke." I said, "That's me. I'm not just hot, I'm SMOKIN!"   For those out there that have feet and knee pain like me, it pays to move, no matter how little. That's how I started out 5 months ago.   I could barely walk from the parking lot to the store without limping and being in a lot of pain. But I always parked at the far end of the lot and minced my way into the store. And I set a goal to walk the inside perimeter of my office every time I went to the bathroom or had to leave my desk. That was 4 to 10 laps a day.   When we move to a bigger office in Feb. I set a goal to make 4 laps a day around the office (approximately 1200 steps plus the 500 steps from the parking lot to my desk got me up to about 1700 steps a day).   When I got to the point where I could tolerate the 4 laps with no lasting pain, I added 4 laps at lunch. Then 5 in the morning and 5 at lunch till I could do 10 each time. That took several months to accomplish and I usually only could do that at most 3 days a week and be in pain for the other 2 days.   Now 10 laps twice a day is too easy, so I changed to going into the parking garage at lunch. The inclined ramps are easy on my ankles and ups my aerobic activity. Plus it gets me out in the sun - gotta have my Vitamin D!   That's how I did it. Little changes add up. Now I've got 2 ladies a work who SAY they want to start walking with me - but so far it's only been talk. :-)   This is from today, 5/17/2013. It's gonna break my heart to reset it in the morning!     2/19/2013 Just checked my pedometer when I got home and finally crossed the 10k steps goal or 4.5 miles in 1 day.   I usually on get in around 2.5 to 3 miles a day, but today I had a lot of extra walking at work and for the 2nd day this week I've been able to walk additional laps around the building at lunch.   Hopefully my feet and hips will allow me to maintain or surpass 10k a day from now on.   Update:3/28/2013 Still managing to get closer to my goal of 5 miles/day, 7 days a week. I'm averaging 4.5 miles/day 4 days a week. My hips no longer hurt, just some muscle soreness. And my feet are usually only a little painful after walking but the pain is almost gone the next day.   The people at work are starting to take notice of my walking before work and at lunch time. Commenting on my weight loss, that may sound encouraging, but I'd rather stay unnoticed and unremarked on. Noticing my weight loss and exercising will only lead to questions - ones I'd rather not answer.   I've had one or two people comment on how much they need to start walking with me, almost daily, but they never seem to find the time to do even one lap around the floor with me. I never made those type of comments when I'd see people working out, cause I knew that I wasn't going to make the effort. So why try to fool them and me? If I did, it would feel like I was apologizing for being fat and feeling guilty for not exercising.   I didn't feel like any kind of exercise plan was going to do me any good. I was too far gone. As Ralphie May said, "This is way past a diet coke fix."     3/4/2013 I'm still walking 3 - 4 miles per day, 5 days a week, but getting past 10k steps a day is tough. My feet and hips are pretty sore the day after doing that many steps and it limits me reaching 10k more than 2 or 3 times a week. But I keep working at it. As long as I'm walking every day, I'm getting closer to my goal.
joatsaint

joatsaint

14
 

I Feel Pretty…Oh So Pretty…or HONEST, Those Aren't Mine!

Ok, I might get blackballed and lose my MAN CARD for admitting this, but here goes. I was cleaning out the closet, looking for smaller pants to wear. I started rummaging for something that would fit, found a nice pair to try on. They were a PERFECT fit, better than any pants I've put on. Looked good in the mirror too! All that walking is shaping my butt up! Did I really say that last line?   Up till recently, you could lean me up against a flat wall and there’d be no gaps anywhere from the top of my back to my calves. My butt was so flat… How flat was it? It was often mistaken for an end table when I lay on the floor.   I looked at the tags only to find that they weren’t men’s pants at all - but a ladies size 16 that got left behind from a previous girlfriend! They must’ve mistakenly gotten mixed in with the tons of other pants and shirts that were put in the “I’ll be able to wear that again someday,” wishful thinking pile.   For the MAN Committee, I know you have no knowledge of this, but, a 16 is the 1X Women's Plus Size according to Overstock.com. And I DID have to look that up; it didn’t come from memory or previous experience wearing women’s clothing! (So MAN Committee, please take that into account when voting.)   This means that I now have the body of a woman with voluptuous hips!   P.S. Blackball or not, I'm KEEPING the pants!!   Keep Pimpin that sleeve!
joatsaint

joatsaint

13
 

Quick FAQs - Frequently Asked Questions

Okay, this post is not to bash the newbies or newts (not a newbie/not a veteran), although I can see how it could look that way. My sense of humor is dry/sarcastic and it's hard to convey that in print.   I thought I'd start compiling some of the most commonly asked questions I see posted on weekly basis, just to show that you are not alone with your thoughts and concerns.                          Will all my hair fall out after VSG?      "Individuals don't begin to notice the increase in hair loss when showering or brushing the hair until about three months post-surgery. Although the resting hair is being pushed out of the scalp by new hair that is already growing, it can take anywhere from about six months to a year for the hair to return to its normal fullness.       Individuals who have undergone gastric bypass or other operations of the digestive tract designed to reduce obesity are more prone to hair loss post-surgery. This is due to the reduced intake of food in the weeks and months immediately following these procedures. The body needs an adequate amount of proteins and vitamins to maintain hair production. Protein-enhanced shakes are often recommended for these patients as a substitute until solid food can be better tolerated.     Hair loss related to surgery typically reverses itself without any medicinal intervention or the need for over-the-counter hair loss tonics or treatments. However, maintaining a diet rich in protein and iron is believed to help promote and speed up healthy hair growth. Suggested foods include salmon, beans, eggs, spinach, broccoli, nuts and whole-grain cereals. Avoid foods that can inhibit hair growth, such as those that contain high levels of caffeine and fat." Losing Hair After Surgery | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/...l#ixzz2Maz1GjQH   Can I take my leftover stomach home in a jar?        Man, what kind of sickie... um I mean, that's a very astute question. I didn't ask my doctor about it, but from what I've read, it's considered medical waste and a biohazard in the U.S. So you can't have it as a trophy or to tan and make a beanie out of it.      If you're having surgery out of the country, then they may let you take it home, just be careful going through customs. If they ask about it, just tell them you found proof that the Chupacabra exists in Mexico.   Can't I do this with out the surgery? You know, eat the crazy small amounts and still lose weight? Why isn't that ok?        You can eat the small meals to lose weight, and it is okay. I just couldn't live that lifestyle for very long. It was a non-stop battle to keep myself from eating more.   How did you choose your doctor, how much did it cost, and how did you pay for it?         I don't want to recommend my doctor, since I wasn't happy with the aftercare, but I paid about $5k between the doctor and hospital. I put it on a credit card and will have it paid off before the end of the year. I found my doctor by calling my insurance company and getting a list of approved WLS doctors. I did a Google search for each doctor and read the reviews before choosing my surgeon.   Do you regret having WLS surgery?      I do not regret it for a minute. Even with all the discomfort of the 1st 10 days, I am very happy with the result. Food is no longer the focus of my life and I love sitting at a buffet restaurant knowing that I will only eat about 1/4 plate of food.   What do I need to pack for the hospital? Here is a long list of suggestions on things you might want to consider taking with you. http://www.verticals...surgery-thread/   How soon after surgery can I start drinking alcohol? I'm sure every doctor has their own recommendations, but my doctor said wait 6 months post-surgery before drinking alcohol again. I'm not a big drinker to begin with, so I didn't miss alcohol. But I did drink about 2 oz. of Tequila at month 6 or 7 and was buzzing immediately, more so than I would have been pre-surgery. So, if you're going to start drinking again, just be aware that it may take less alcohol to impair your system. :-)
joatsaint

joatsaint

14
 

Monster Poos - The Smelly Secret Behind Stalls or What can Brown Doodoo for you?

Update: 4-26-3013: It's still amazing to see what and how much comes out of me, considering how little I am eating. Most of the time, it feels like I am passing jagged rocks and it comes out looking like a pile of marbles. Then there are times like today, where this monstrous poo python emerges. And I'm thinking, "Where the hell did that come from? I just pooped yesterday and I haven't changed my eating habits or eaten extra food."   Is there some storage area in the intestines I don't know about? Are my guts becoming some kind of Dooms Day Prepper? Some kind of "just in case we need it" secret poo stash?   Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?         I was visited by the infamous 3rd week stall. I didn't lose any more weight for about 5 days. Hit a 2nd wall on week 5, same thing. It takes me 4 - 6 days to start losing again. It helps speed up the process when I walk a little more than normal.   But I've learned that part of the stall is tied to bowel movements. Post-Op, I only go every other day or every 3rd day depending on how much fiber/carbs I take in.   You might want to consider how much waste your body is holding onto. My bathroom visits aren't steady at this point, sometimes I'll go twice on the same day. I'll be thinking, "Where the hell did that come from? I know I haven't eaten that much!"   Sometimes I'll be over a pound lighter after a monster poop! My record is 2 lbs.
joatsaint

joatsaint

7
 

Gastric Sleeve Surgery - Pre-Op Psychological Evaluation

I had planned on documenting my gastric sleeve surgery experience in the order it occurred, but I forgot about the psych evaluation. Once again luck was on my side as I knew what to expect before arriving. I had a chance to talk with a post-op gastric sleeve patient during my 1st appointment with my doctor.   The test itself was about 451 questions. Really though, you could say it was about 150 questions asked 3 different ways. My best guess is it is done in that format to measure how consistent and true you are answering. I guess that they believe that if you are trying to manipulate the test for whatever reason, by asking the same question 3 different ways mixed in with 450 questions, you won't be able to remember how you answered previously and your true feelings will be revealed.   I can't remember the exact answer selections, but I think there were 6 choices - ranging from Always True to Never True. So they might ask, "Have you consistently missed work because of drinking?" and you choose among the 6 answers as to how true the question applies to your situation. 50 or so questions later, it is asked again differently, "I never drink so much alcohol that I have called in sick at work." And they mix in questions about how alcohol has played a part in your family and social life. Your feelings about stealing, is it better to be a child or an adult, how you behave in social situations, how you bad/good feel most people behave, which is the better part of life - being a child or being an adult. I think you get the general idea.   The psych interview was pretty brief - about 15 minutes. The questions mainly center around my eating habits and what I knew about diet and nutrition. That I realized that surgery was only a tool and not the solution. That I needed to exercise before and after surgery. And what I thought my ideal body weight should be. I told him that I didn't want to fixate on a specific number and just wanted to look "normal", whatever that weight turned out to be. I had been following a guy on youtube who started out at my weight 350 and was down to 235 and I thought I'd be very happy to look like him. I haven't been down below 270 since 1997! My doctor later told me that my ideal weight is 200 and seem to take it in stride that I'd have no problem getting to that weight. So we'll see. My plan is to set small goals and not get too hung up on reaching a specific weight.   Expenses so far:   My copay for the doctor has been about $2000 so far ($500 office visits, nutritionist counseling / $1500 surgery cost) My hospital costs so far, $3000 ($1000 blood, ultra sound, chest xrays and EDG / $2000 surgery cost)   I had a bit of a panic yesterday. The hospital called to confirm my surgery date and collect payment. They told me the surgery cost was $19,000 and in my mind I'm thinking "NINETEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS!" I wasn't expecting to have to pay out of pocket that much! And then they said,"Your copay is $2000." Fortunately, I hadn't completely stroked out after hearing the first part and was able to get my heart out of my mouth after I realized I wasn't responsible for the full 19k. :-) I fumbled my Discover card out and gave them the digits.   Still to be paid (and as far as I know, the last):   Pre-op blood typing/urine testing (must be done within 72 hours of surgery)   - I'm scheduled to be tested on 12/26 / surgery 12/27 / expected to return home 12/28.
joatsaint

joatsaint

4
 

The EndoBarrier or How You Too Can Line Your Intestines with a Trash Bag

Just saw the article on this new device today. I'm thinking with enough determination I could install a Hefty bag in my colon all by myself! :-P       Printed from: Boston Herald (http://bostonherald.com)   Device aids weight loss Saturday, March 8, 2014 -- Anonymous (not verified)       Replaces surgery by lowering blood sugars Healthcare Sections: Sunday, March 9, 2014 Author(s):   Marie Szaniszlo       Doctors at three Massachusetts hospitals are recruiting people battling Type 2 diabetes and obesity for a clinical trial of a medical device that has been approved in other countries to reduce blood sugar and body weight without the need for the kind of weight-loss surgery that more than 200,000 Americans undergo each year.   Made by Lexington-based GI Dynamics, the EndoBarrier is a thin, flexible, tube-shaped liner placed via the mouth during a brief endoscopic procedure and inserted in the duodenum, the first section of the small intestine, just beyond the stomach, said Dr. Lee M. Kaplan, the trial’s lead investigator and director of the Obesity, Metabolism and Nutrition Institute at Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School.   “The food you eat goes down the middle of the tube,” Kaplan said, “but the tube blocks interactions between the food and hormone secretions,” which can affect insulin sensitivity, glucose metabolism, satiety and food intake.   In commercial use outside the U.S., the device has been shown to achieve as much as a 30 percent reduction in glucose levels within the first week and a 10 percent to 20 percent body-weight loss within the 12-month period for which it has been approved for use in countries including England, France, Germany and Australia, said Stuart Randle, GI Dynamics’ president and CEO.   “No one yet knows why, when you bypass the first section of the intestine, these hormones change so dramatically and so immediately,” Randle said.   The U.S. trial, which currently is enrolling people at 22 sites, including MGH, Boston Medical Center and UMass Memorial Medical Center in Worcester, will end in two years and, if it shows that the EndoBarrier is safe and effective, the Food and Drug Administration could approve the device in about a year.   If it does, the EndoBarrier could offer new hope to the 26 million people who have been diagnosed with diabetes in this country, including approximately 360,000 adults in Massachusetts, where the disease each week causes an average of 22 deaths, 38 lower-leg amputations, 13 new cases of end-stage renal disease and five new 
cases of blindness, according to the Massachusetts Department of Public Health.   “Obesity and diabetes are twin epidemics that remain out of control, and while we have good medical therapies for diabetes and some good therapies for obesity, they don’t always work,” Kaplan said. “For those patients who need additional therapy, this device may provide a valuable new option. But testing it is critical.”     Source URL: http://bostonherald.com/business/healthcare/2014/03/device_aids_weight_loss
joatsaint

joatsaint

0
 

What's In The Bowl B-i-t-c-h or Why Whey Protein Isolate?

The title is from an old nursery rhyme by Andrew Dice Clay. Little Miss Muffet Sat on her tuffet Eating her curds and whey Along came a spider Sat down beside her And said, "Hey, what's in the bowl b-i-t-c-h?"   I see quite a few questions regarding whey protein and I'd like to share a few things I learned pre-surgery in preparation for my pre-op and post-op diet.   Whey is one of the fastest digesting proteins and the quickest way :-) to get protein shuttled to your muscles. Whey comes from milk protein and contains the full spectrum of amino acids needed to build muscle.   Whey comes in several forms - hydrolyzed, isolate, and concentrate, isolate being digested faster and more completely than protein concentrate.   The Differences   Protein Concentrate: 70-80% pure protein and up to 5% lactose   Protein Isolate: Almost pure protein (90-94%) and near zero lactose and carbs, many people that are lactose intolerant have no problems digesting protein isolate.   Hydrolyzed Protein: Protein isolate that is broken down even more and is more easily absorbed by the muscles.   All three are good sources of protein and taking one over the other will not make a difference in how much muscle mass your body builds. It is only a matter of purity and the speed your body digests and transports the protein to the muscles.   Whey concentrate has less pure protein than hydrolyzed or isolate, meaning you'll have to take more whey concentrate to get the same protein in grams vs. isolate.   And speed of digestion and transport. Again, whey concentrate is the slowest, it is not broken down in the manufacturing process as much as hydrolyzed and isolate. Hydrolyzed=fastest, isolate=fast, concentrate=slowest. Is speed any great issue? I wouldn't think so. It's like the kids playing basketball, buying a pair of Jordans to improve their game. The difference a pair of Jordans makes for a nonprofessional athlete is so insignificant it's almost zero.
joatsaint

joatsaint

6
 

Like Throwing Bricks Into The Grand Canyon or One Of Those Days – My Stomach Is A Bottomless Pit

Today was one of those scary days were it seemed like I just never got enough to eat. I have days like this on occasion and don’t really know what triggers them. I haven’t strayed from eating “good” foods, so I don’t think it has anything to do with the foods that trigger my hunger monster.   But, the amount of food I have been able to eat is really starting to scare me. With everything I’ve eaten, I definitely feel full, but the feeling doesn't seem to last but an hour or so.   So to combat those feeling of “I’m going to obsess about eating until I’ve eaten something,” I keep plenty of lean protein in the house. Grilled chicken breast, grilled pork loin and plenty of low sugar sauces. I don’t keep any temptations in the house to ward against days like this. Maybe I need a WLS voodoo doll with pictures of bad food and pins stuck through them.   I really started thinking about how and what I've been eating. And I have read the warning stories about people regaining their weight after surgery and it is a really scary feeling. I would never forgive myself for having gone through all this just to gain all the weight back.   So, I've set some limits on myself. Not so strict as to feel deprived, but not so loose as to let myself get out of control.   I will eat healthy food first. Protein/vegs/fiber every day.   I will let myself try a dessert, but never eat more than a bite or two. (And by bite, I don’t mean “as much of the cookie as will fit into my mouth at one time” bite. :-P)   I will not bring unhealthy food into the house. If I want something that bad, I’ll have to get off my butt and drive to the store. Most times, the craving does not overrule my need to stay camped out in front of the TV in my underwear or by the time I DO get there, the “craving” has worn off.   I will make my own lunches to bring to work. That way, I can’t rationalize going out to eat and making food bad choices, convincing myself that eating healthy food costs too much.   I’m trying to be realistic and know that I’m not always going to be faithful. But having the rules reminds me to stop and think before making a food choice. It’s a tool, just like WLS.   Knowing that I am allowed to eat SOME bad stuff removes the stress of “I can’t ever have that again!”   Knowing that I CAN eat a little of anything puts the power back in my hands and puts the responsibility on my shoulders to CHOOSE to eat the right way. It is empowering to feel like I am allowed to eat anything I want, but it’s my CHOICE to pick a different food option.   I like this new lifestyle and after 5 months of hating to get out and walk, I am beginning to WANT to go on daily walks. Although I don’t necessarily like them, I do like seeing the scale drop and my energy level go up!   Keep Pimpin that Sleeve!
joatsaint

joatsaint

1
 

5 Weeks Post-OP Still Teaching Myself to Eat Slowly

Even this far out from surgery, I still have problems eating slowly - especially if it is something that goes down easily like peanut butter. By accident I found a way to train myself to eat slower.   It's chicken! My stomach doesn't seem to like ground up chicken and I can feel the gurgles and gas building after a bite or two. So I figure, why not use that to my advantage? So I'll be eating more chicken. Knowing that I have to stop eating after a bite is going to force me to lay the spoon down between bites.   Anyone else have a food or foods that cause them to have stomach gurgles and gas?
joatsaint

joatsaint

16
 

Can You Fail With The Sleeve?

I believe anyone that has 85% of their stomach removed will lose weight. You can't help but lose, if you are limited to 4oz of food every few hours.   Now the big question is, where is your hunger coming from? Only you can figure that part out. Is it from emotional eating, boredome, stress, or is it because you have hunger pangs caused by the hormone ghrelin?   From my own experience, I knew that my hunger was real (even though I had eaten 2 hours earlier, I'd be hungry again). It wasn't until I talked to my surgeon that he told me that I had an excess of the hormone ghrelin (produced by the stomach). The bigger the stomach, the more of the hormone produced.   The surgery stopped my hunger pangs. I have not had that nagging sense of hunger (other than my stomach growling) since surgery 7 weeks ago. And 4 or 5 oz of food keeps me satisfied, whereas before, I could eat 1 lb of steak and know I'd be raiding the fridge in 2 hours.   And I don't have any cravings anymore for certain flavors. Whereas before, I'd think about something that would taste good and I couldn't get the thought out of my head until I ate it - and a lot of it, not just a small portion.   Don't get me wrong, you can sabotage yourself after surgery. There are foods, called slider foods, that are calorie dense (ice cream, peanut butter) that pass through the stomach quickly, so it's possible to eat more. And it is possible to just graze all day on snacks that are high in calories.   The sleeve gave me the control over my eating that I needed. When I eat, I have full control of what I eat. I can pass on the donuts or just have 1 and be satisfied. With the exception of pasta - it triggers my sugar cravings. So I have to be real careful about eating it.   But I don't know if I'd the same success if my hunger was tied to my emotions instead of hormones.   I really believe food was an addiction - one you can't quit and never touch again.   Other addictions can be quit and never touched again. But what if a heroine addict, smoker or alcoholic knew they had to take some every day or their body would die?   What if they had 75 TV channels that ran commericals for cigarrets every 10 minutes during their favorite programs? Or had reality programs (like the best places to pig out or the food challenges) devoted to the best places to get their fix and showed people taking drugs and loving it? Could the addicts just reduce the amount they took every day and never over do it or would they give in to the nagging voice in their head telling them how good it was going to feel?   Ok, rant over. :-)
joatsaint

joatsaint

9
 

Porn Mags for Women or How to Get Your Woman to Add to Your Porn Stash

We've all seen them, all those women's magazines clogging the checkout counters. With titles like, "How to find His Pleasure Spot," "10 New Tricks to Keep Your Man," "Good Girls Bend at the Waist, Bad Girls Bend at the Knees." Now I'm all for women boning up on how to please their man. But where is the equal treatment for men's magazines?   If those same headlines were in a man's magazine, the thing would be shamefully hidden, deep behind the counter in liquor stores, with a piece of cardboard blocking the cover, lest some young innocent soul gaze upon the image and be scarred for life.   And, GASP!, if you actually thought of buying one, you'd have to wear a disguise so your neighbors wouldn't know it was you. And you'd shamefully carry it home, wrapped in a brown paper bag or folded between the pages of a newspaper - stuffed under the car seat. So no one would know that you were about to abuse yourself in front of God and all your ancestors.   But stores proudly display women's porn right there on the end cap at the checkout counter. How did it become socially acceptable for women's porn magazines to be sold right next to the Tic Tacs and Juicy Fruit gum? Is it because because the target audience is women?   Another inequality, I saw a commercial for the micro vibrator sold by Trojan. The women in the commercial sit around in circles talking about how wonderful it is, and even grandma chimes in and happily gets in on the action.   Can you imagine the public reaction if it was 3 guys sitting in a circle (I know where you're headed - 3 guys in a circle, just don't go there!) expounding on the joys of the Fleshlight? It would be an outrage. The Christian Right would flood the airwaves with indigent protests of how shameful the commercial was and how we're all going to burn in Hell for it. But because it's women talking about masturbation, somehow it's acceptable.   And finally it hits me! The marketing! If the men's magazines just worded the headlines on the magazine covers differently, their magazines could be sitting right there next to Cosmo and the Tic Tacs! And the best part is, women would be happily buying the magazines for their boyfriends and husbands.   Just imagine if the latest edition of "Spread'em" changed the headlines from "Brandy's Naughty Adventure," to "Brandy's Illustrated Guide to Pleasing Your Woman!" or "Brandy Shows You 10 Ways to Make Your Woman Scream in Bed (No! Not by calling her by the wrong name.)" Women would rush to the stands to buy their man the latest issue. It's all in the marketing.   Keep Pimpin' that Sleeve!
joatsaint

joatsaint

5
 

BBQ Sauce - Low Carb - My New Favorite Sauce

UPDATE: 1/2/2015 After creating this BBQ sauce many times, I must caution everyone to let this stuff sit and cool after cooking - for an hour or so. Let the flavors meld together. I've found that when I taste test this sauce before it's had a time to set, it has a weird flavor. It gets even better if left to set overnight - even if it's already mixed into my food.       Hey guys,   I've been using this sauce for at least 4 meals a day for the past 2 weeks. And it tastes great!   I was searching for a replacement for my favorite Kraft BBQ sauce (since it has sugar in it ) and I ran across this one. It had rave reviews and it tastes really good. I'll need to tweak it a few times to get that sweet/tangy flavor I like so much, but for a good low-carb BBQ sauce, this one works well. The best part was, I already had most of the ingredients on hand (you probably do too).   2 Tablespoons is 12 calories vs. 60 calories for the equivalent Kraft BBQ sauce.     Indispensable Almost No Carb Barbecue Sauce This isn't a substitute for the "real thing," it's an improvement. It's so good the rest of the family gobbles it up and I have to keep making more.   3/8 cup vinegar 1 1/2 cup tomato sauce. (1 15 oz can) Don't buy a tomato sauce that has spices or flavorings in it! 3 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce 1 1/2 tablespoon yellow hot dog mustard 3/4 tablespoon Franks Hot Sauce (the chicken wing sauce) 3/4 tablespoon salt (optional) 1 dash cayenne pepper. Go easy!!!! 3 teaspoons lemon juice 1 1/2 teaspoon liquid smoke flavoring 6 teaspoons Splenda or 18 drops of Liquid Splenda   Optional Things I've Tried and Liked: Instead of 6 tsp Splenda, I tried 3 tsp Splenda, 3 tsp brown sugar - it really gave the sauce "body" and flavor. Toss in 2 or 3 tablespoons of garlic powder Toss in 2 or 3 tablespoons of onion powder Double up on Franks Hot Sauce - I don't find Franks very hot, and I like the flavor Use Apple Cider Vinegar instead of White Vinegar Add 1/3 can of tomato paste   Add vinegar and all other ingredients except mustard to a sauce pan and slowly heat. Put mustard in a cup and slowly stir in a couple tablespoons of sauce until well blended. Then add mustard mixture back to sauce in pan.     Bring to a boil, and lower heat. Let simmer for a 15 minutes. Let cool, then refrigerate till cold then serve.   Note: this sauce might taste a bit peculiar if you taste it when it is still hot. Don't worry! Something magical happens when it sits in the fridge. And it only gets better overnight!!!     Carbohydrates per Serving (1 tablespoon): Less than 1 gram. Half an ounce is 1 gm carbs, 6 calories.   Source: http://www.phlaunt.com/lowcarb/19060001.php
joatsaint

joatsaint

1
 

SQUIRREL! or How I Made It Into Guinness

Guinness World Records called me today. It was out of the blue and I thought it was my shameful little secret. But apparently being startled by a squirrel can help you become a Guinness record breaker.   I was in the kitchen messing around and heard some scratches in the utility room. Upon opening the door, I was confronted by a dastardly squirrel. Being a normal (sort of) person, I figured if I stepped towards him, he'd head for the hills. But no, he charged me!   Squirrels aren't supposed to charge! They're supposed to hang upside down on the sides of trees and play funny games of tag with each other.   It's in the Squirrel Manual. Chapter 1 - Squirrels are supposed to look cute, chase each other, and RUN whenever confronted by things that outweigh them by 300 lbs.   This squirrel, obviously, was a dropout. He's the kinda punk squirrel that skips squirrel school, hangs around the pool hall, and smokes. I would add that he's a heroine addict, but I didn't have time to check his little squirrel arm for tracks - I was too busy trying to release the squirrel back into his natural habitat. By that, I mean that I screamed like a girl and slammed the door.   That's where Guinness comes in.   I thought my shameful little secret was my own, until I got the phone call. Apparently Guinness heard the scream and the door slam at their headquarters and tracked it back to me. I wondered how they tracked it back to me, until I saw the fault line (apparently caused by my slamming the door) snaking across my property and down the street.   I now have two Guinness records - one for Loudest Girly Scream from a Man and Hardest Door Slam Without Knocking the Door Off the Hinges.   P.S. The Man Club heard about it as well. I tried to explain that I was employing my catlike Ninja skills and the scream was my way of focusing my Chakras - but they weren't buying it.   They said they had already given me a break on the whole Monarch Butterfly incident, but they couldn't give me a pass on this one. I now have 2 points on my Man Card. One more point and I have to take a refresher class. :-(   P.P.S Does setting the world record for screaming like a girl count as an aerobic workout??????
joatsaint

joatsaint

4

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