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Lapband Journey

Entries in this blog

 

Surgery Pains

My mom has had a rather bad hiatal hernia for the past 3 years. In the last year and a half it seemed to give her hell- nausea, inablity to eat, not able to drink much. In that year she went from the 170's to the 120's. But my mom refused to do anything about it because she was caring for my dying grandmother. Grandma passed in Oct, so mom finally agreed to see a surgeon.   My lapband doc also happens to do these types of surgery as well. I spoke to him about her and he said to get her to come in. After talking he agreed that her nausea and in ablity to eat much if at all was due to having 1/3 of her stomach in her chest and that surgery needed to be done soon.   Yesterday was surgery day. I don't mind being the patient, but I hate it when I have to watch those that I love go through pain. The doc came in and saw us pre-op and assured us everything would be fine. Mom went in and in about 2 hours the doc came out and said things went great, however instead of having 1/3 of her stomach in her chest she had over half of her stomach in her chest putting pressure on her heart and lungs. I have not idea what this could have done in the long run, but I am glad it's fixed. The doc said he had an easy time getting everything back into place and he did a plication to prevent her stomach from moving and put mesh in to repair the hold in the diaphram.   When we finally saw her she was in horrible pain, which I expected. However, the insurance would not allow her to stay over night. So the doc told her the best thing to do was to go back to my house, which is only 20 min away verses her house which is an hour and a half away. So she came and stayed with me.   This morning the gas pain was better, but she said she was sore to just breath. The doctor said this would happen since he had to work in her chest cavity. She is onl liquids for the next couple of days before going to mushy, but I know she can do it.   Surgery, while painful and the afterward can often times make the need seem less evil, surgery is an amazing thing. Doctors have the ability to give us our life back. Mom lost weight because of illness and had to have surgery so she can eat, I had to have surgery to lose weight. Thank goodness for doctors with the knowledge and skill to do this.   I have no doubt that what my mom had done was more technical since as he said he was looking at her heart, but he was skilled enough to do what needed to be done, to help her get better.   A doctor with this much skill and ability to do these procedures well, don't you think we should listen to them. Use them for what they are there for- to help us heal and answer our questions along the way.   If you have a great doc, let him or her know how you appreciate them and their ability not only by telling them, but by listening to them and asking questions.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Thank You, Thank You Very Much

Journey began- June 22, 2012 (band day) Weight- 244 (Highest 247) 3/3/14 weight- 192.8 Sizes- pants 14/16 shirts L   So much as taken place since June 2012. Some days it really hits me how much I have changed both inside and outside. I have a lot of people to thank for this including myself.   My hubs- For encouraging me to move it to lose it and for being my support. His encouragement has gotten me through the rough days.   My parents- for supporting me in this journey and for telling me they are proud of me. Just this weekend my dad told my hubs to buy me a new coat because they one I had was wayyy to big- this really made me feel good because my dad does not compliment people.   Lapband site folks:   Carolina Girl- for her no nonsense, this is the way it way of responding and blogging. Often she reminds me what this is really about.   Missy- for being the ever encouraging inspiration lapband rockstar. The way she responds to post and "likes" most encourages me to hang it and that I am not a crazy bandster.   Jean McMillian- for her responses, her articles, ect. This last article she wrote slapped me upside the head and I needed that Gibbs slap.   The great thing about this site is while you will on occasion encounter negative nellies and the general butt hole, you also encounter folk who know what they are doing, who have and are rocking the journey and can give great encouragement and support if you just listen with an open mind.   Of course there are days when I feel like crap and that I am a total failure, I think we all experience this at some point during the journey. However, times like this weekend when I try on pants and find that size 16 shorts are to big and 14's are perfect and a large shirt fit just right let me know I am doing this no matter how I see myself in the mirror. There are time when I still feel like shammoo in drag, but I am doing this- I am getting smaller and healthier.   So thanks to all who have encouraged, supported, listened, responded, posted their stories, blog - you have made an impact on this bandster!!

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

I Love Food

I love food, I mean really love food (which is why I hit 247). I have always been a foodie. While sweets were never a huge pull for me, I find myself wanting them more now, but I have managed to stay away from them except special occassions.   I am and always have been a protein / carb girl. I am mildly adventurous, willing to try new foods and such. Since being banded I have found I like: Greek Yogurt, couscous, beans. I eat a lot more fish (talapia, salmon, mackeral).   Being that I love to cook I am always researching new things and new ways of cooking.   I still, however, do enjoy going out to eat. What I like best is having someone else clean the kitchen!   Last night, Valentines, the hub wanted to go to the 1st resturant we ever went to. That resturant is On the Border, which serves southwest style food. I love southwest/mexi, but it is loaded with salt and calories. I downloaded the nutrition and was shocked the my southwest chicken taco's were 1200 calories- ouch. I found that the fajita mix was a better choice, I was able to order the chicken with grilled onion, pepper, zuchini, with no sides (beans, rice, tortillas). I ate just the meat and veggie and ask for sauce on the side (which I only used a bit of). Since I hadn't been there since surgery this really showed how my eating has changes.   Before surgery I would eat the meat, veggies, rice, beans, tortillas and a dessert. Last night I wasn't even able to get down all of the meat and veggies. Wow, what a change. My husband said he was so proud of me.   I went home feeling good and not over stuffed. Yes, this morning my weight was up by a pound, the salt really worked on me.   So today I am drinking my water like a made woman and cutting the salt back.   I guess this is what life should be like, not giving up the food we love, just cutting back on the amount and making adjustment for the bad stuff.   What in the heck did I learn this years ago??

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Battle

At the start of this journey in June 2012 I was excited and ready to go. I was determined that I was going to be a big looser. Next week I will be 8 months out and I have only lost 50 lbs.   I really did think I would lose more in this time. Even though my doc seems happy enough I am still frustrated. When I went in for a fill last week my weight was up 1 lb from what it was at the prior visit- total bummer. Even though just days earlier I had seen the lowest weight ever on the scales (193) since that my weight in 2 days jumped to 197 then drop right back down to 194- had to be water weight right? Well for the last week and a half my weight has been bouncing from the 193's to the 195's each morning (I weight the same time of day in the same thing so it is constant). I am not over eating, I am not eating calorie loaded things, I have a calorie deficit each day. Right now I am not working out because I have felt like crap from having sinus issues.   The hubs keeps telling me it's because I'm not working out. While I know I could find the time to fit it in, it is hard. I am tired, really tired by the time I finish all my have to's for the day. I am taking my C, D and B vitamins that my doctor perscribed.   While I know plateaus are normal course, I hate that it happend so early in the game. I have told many people you don't fail until you stop trying. I am still trying, but it is so hard to stay positive.   While I feel like I am in a green zone. 1 cup can totally hold me for 4-5 hours and even then I am not starved. My doc said not to miss meals so I have to set a timer on my phone to remind me it's time to eat. I am starting to feel like that is all I do.   Breakfast at 6 (Oatmeal) Snack 10:00 (greek yogurt) Lunch 12-1 depends on what is going on at work What depends on what we had the night before. ~Snack - 4 ish depends on what I had for lunch- if I am really not hungry I just can't make myself eat Dinner- 5:30 to 6:30 depending on when the hubs gets home   I am feeling like I am damed if I do and damed if I don't.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Wall Flower

Growing up I was always the wall flower. I was the kid a teacher never knew was in class. I was quiet and kept to myself for the most part. While I did have friends, I was careful at school not to get in trouble or break rules, that was just me. I was never loud or abnoxius and never wanted to go against the grain. I was a blender, always blending into the back ground where ever I was. As I got older this trend continued, the only place where I would step up and take a lead was in my job, because that is where I have to. Being a manager I had to be the head of what I did and often times would have to public speak, but that was fine because it was my area of expertise.   I always thought my wall flowerness was due to my weight and my not wanting to be seen. But, after losing 50 lbs I have come to see this is just who I am. I still am not a flashy person. I don't like wearing things that make me stand out- I wear normal colors not flashy bright ones. I won't color my hair a odd color for me because it would draw attention. While I feel better about myself I am still the same old wall flower.   Even on this site, I post questions and post blogs on a regular basis, but many times do not get feed back or response, which frankly is a little disheartening.   But, I must except I am the wall flower and that is just who I am. Maybe one day I will bloom into a beautiful rose that is noticed, but I doubt it, but I am me.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Heart Broken

Some of you know that I have had 3 miscarriages. My hub and I have no problem getting pregnant, but I just can't get past the 1st trimester. Well in the last week I have had 2 friends give birth and 2 annouce they are pregnant.   My BFF for 20 years called me yesterday to tell me her news, she is pregnant with baby number 2. She is already through her 1st trimester and just found out she is preg. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for her and her husband. They have one daughter and have been trying for 3 years for another child with no luck. They had given up hope, but low and behold she is preg and 3 months in. Her due date is my granfather's birthday.   While I am happy for her, my heart does break for my babies, my 3 that I can't hold. My doctor told me I could try again this summer and we plan to, but I am just so scared. All the test they have done have come back with nothing wrong, so they have no idea why I keep miscarring. My OB/GYN says that as soon as I think I am preg, like one day late, to come in and he will do an ultrasound and if I am he will start progestrone to hopefully keep the baby.   I don't know what will happen, but I am scared. I am scared of gaining to much weight, I am scared of losing the baby, I am scared I will never have a baby.   The name of today's game just seems to be scared!

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Shake the Sheets

This morning I did my norm morning routine. Got up pottied and got on the scale before dressing (TMI I know, but it is always best to weigh in you birthday suit). The hubs walks in and hugs me and says "geez I can reach my elbows when I wrap my arms around you". Then he said "I'm proud of you babe, but don't get so skinny I have to shake the sheets to find ya".   For those who don't know my husband is visually impaired. His vision is 20/800 - legally blind since birth. Granted he is well educated graduated with honors with a degree in computer science and is a well respected software engineer. He just can't see very well. So it's always been the running joke that he feel for me because I was large print (he always replied to that with you said that not me). Now he is joking saying I am getting so small he won't be able to see me anymore.   The joking is all in fun- he is very supportive of my weight loss journey and is helping me leaps and bounds.   But I must say it would be nice for him to have to shake the sheets to find me

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

The Water Works

I was told at the start of my journey to drink at the least 60 oz of water a day, but more would be better.   During the week I do great, drinking around 100 oz. Well guess what during the week my weight goes down!   On the weekends I am a slacker. The hubs and I don't have kids and take advantage of sleeping in on Saturday and Sunday mornings. We normally rise around 8-9 am verses our M-F routine of getting up at 5. We are not morning people and never have been. However, this getting up late wreaks havoc with my water intake.   I strictly follow my doctors rule of not drinking during or 30 min after a meal. I find this is a big help in not getting hungry so soon. When I don't get up until 8-9, I miss out on getting that extra time for fluids. On M-F I would have already downed about 60 oz. I tend to drink very little between dinner time and bed time for potty reasons, therefore, I don't drink as much as I should.   Looking back over my records for the past couple of months the pattern that I see is, my weight drops during the week and on the weekends rises. I believe this is for 2 reasons- 1-Friday night is my night off cooking (this was established at the on set of the relationship and I like it!) We eat out, but I choose as healthy as possible, but the sodium levels do tend to be high (read water retention) 2- Since I do not drink enough water on the weekends the water that is retained due to the upped sodium count is not flushed out.   The pattern clear shows that from Friday morning to Sunday morning my weight will go up about 2-3 lbs. By Tuesday morning my weight is back down lower than it was on Friday morning due to getting in all the extra water on Monday.   So, it looks like I must get better at the water on the weekends thing. But, this does clearly show me that my water intake as well as my sodium intake has a big effect on my weight.   This is my little scientifc experiment.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Learned something new....

I went in for a fill today, my weight had gone up by 5 lbs since last week so I wasn't thrilled about going in. I went in they weighed me- up 1 lbs since last month!!!!!! I was pissed. She checked my band and gave me another cc - I always get fills with floro. I told her about my weight jump from last week and explained it was my TOM time even though I don't actually bleed. She said that the weight fluctuation was not abnormal, that everyone will have fluctuations from week to week. She also ask how many calories my fitbit said I was burning a day- I told her between 2000-2200 depending on if I work out or not. She ask about my eating habits - I told her I was only eating 3 times a day and sometimes having an afternoon snack. She ask about my calorie intake- I told her I was getting between 1200-1300 a day.   Surprise- she said I'm not getting enough calories. Now this is what my doc said, I trust my doctor, she is a Duke Doc, I have full confidence in her- do please do not bash her or me; if you doc said something else fine ok, I am just putting out there what mine said.   She said that since I am now over 6 months post that eating 1200 calories a day isn't enough. She said that having a 3-500 calorie a day deficit was good, but not more because the body would not let go of the fat- sorta like starvation mode. She said if I upped my workout routine to up calories. To try and keep my deficit around 3-500 for optimum weight loss.   So I am going to try and see what happens. Maybe it has to do with where I am in weight- I don't know, but she is my doctor, she is trained, so I will listen to her.   If you don't agree fine, but again don't bash!!

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Listen Up.......

Well it's been an odd week for me. The hubs Big 40 was last week. We had a party for him last Sunday night. Instead of B-day cake he wanted his fave cheesecake and I made brownies to. Most of the left overs I sent home with friends. Kept a couple and we had those the first of the week.   Mid-week my PMS mode hit, which means grumpy and craving. Since being banded I haven't really had any horrible cravings for sweets, I've wanted them, but not to the point I have this week. I am guessing this is a case of your mind gets a little and it wants more of that drug.   On Friday of this week NC got hit with an ice storm - nothing horrible, but enough to send us home from work and keep us in until afternoon on Saturday. Friday my hubs wanted pizza. Well this hasn't been an issue for me before, but.... I ordered a large since I could get it for free, just figured we would eat on it for a couple of days (WRONG). For lunch I was starved and ate 2 slices of my veggie side and felt way to full (I know this wasn't good for my band and I shouldn't have, but I can't change what was only what is to come), at dinner I wasn't really hungry, but at another piece anyway and felt even worse. By bedtime I felt like crap. My tummy hurt and I felt bloated. Lesson learned....   I am feeling like I am reverting back to my old ways and that scares me worse than anything. My band is there to help me, but if I refuse to listen to it, it can't and won't help. I know that I must get back on track and get myself back on the plan and biggest thing listen to my band.   As my mom said when I was little there is a big difference in hearing and listening. I hear my band tell me no I don't want that, but I ignored it this weekend. Today after returning home from my Dad's 65th b-day party I found myself standing in my kitchen looking around for something to eat, yet I wasn't hungry.   My feeling down and out today doesn't help eating issues, but at least I am realizing what triggers I have and trying to change which I have not done in the past.   While at Dad's party, sitting with my niece who is a cute perky 17 year old size 0, I watched what and how she ate. She ate really slow. She got up to toss her plate and still had half of her cake and some ice cream on it- she said she was full. I guess that is why she is a size 0. She opts to stop when she is full no matter how much is left on her plate. This is something I can learn from her.   Like I have often said this journey isn't the easy every day, but it is a journey worth making. For those of you support and encourage me thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know I am going to fall from time to time on my journey and it helps having the awesome people on this site to help me stand back up and keep moving forward.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Head vs Mouth vs Stomach

I have figured out that a lot of the reason I use to eat had nothing to do with hunger.   see something- eat it. Smell something- eat it. Board- eat Worried- eat Meal time - eat   I ate my way to almost 250 and I knew it had to stop.   Now I am much more selective about what and when I eat. I now eat 3 meals a day and sometime one snack. I still eat things I love, but I eat less or them.   Today I walked into the breakroom at work, there was a smorgasborg or treats: grapes, cheese, crackers, pimento cheese, rolls, celery. While these foods aren't bad foods, I didn't eat them, I wasn't hungry. In times past I would have fixed a nice rounded plate and gone back to my corner office and ate up. While my mouth and mind were saying yummy, just one bite, my tummy was saying, but hey yo I don't want any, not hungry please don't.   My eyes, mouth and mind get me in a lot of trouble when it comes to food.   My husband in blind, but very strong resourcful, brillant wonderful man; but he can't see the foods laying around. He never picks and taste at things, he doesn't graze. He eats his 3 meals and about 2 snacks a day and that is it. He isn't tempted by the stuff laying around because he can't see it. Now at meals he eats well, but that is a different story.   But, I think I need to become more like him; blind to the food just laying around. When I make a concious effort not to indulge I am fine, but when I uncounsiously peck I will pay with weight gain.   In my wieght loss journey I need to get my mind, mouth and tummy all on the same page.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Committed Relationship

I met my wonderful amazing husband 5 years ago and married him 3.5 years ago. He is my biggest fan and support. Once he went to the seminar on WLS he was fully supportive of me having the band. Over the next couple of months I hemed and hawed about would I be, could I be successful on this journey. He kept telling me that ofcourse I would, I just needed to commit to him as I did him.   Soooo.......   I am in a committed relationship with my band. My band is 100% behind me losing weight. While my band can't prevent me from eating more than I should or eating things that are unhealthy for me; it can help me stay satisfied longer on less, that is if I allow it to. When I think about my band from this perspective- I think about I would never cheat on my husband why would I want to cheat on my band. Ruining my marriage would be painful, but ruining my band and having to have another surgery wouldn't be a walk in the park either. Just like with a marriage you have to work at it, I have to work at my band life. Some days it will be easy and other days it won't, but I don't give up on my marriage just because of one road bump and I won't give up on my band either.   Just like I want my marriage to last forever, I want my band life to last to.   So with this being said.... ( I am calling my band George)   I promise to love, honor, and cherish George forever!!   Are you in a committed relationship with your band?

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Waste of Money!!!

Okay I feel sure I am likely going to offend someone here, so if you are easily offended stop reading now!   I don't often get on my "high horses" but I am today.   I have heard people complain and moan and groan about surgery being a waste of money and time. Well my first questions is.... Did you follow you doctor's orders? Did you listen and follow what the nutritionist said? Did you go in to see the doctor and discuss issues?   If the answer to any of those are no then you wasted your own money! I work hard to make a living and I am not going to give my money away for nothing. I am paying my surgeon and my nutritionist a prime rate and honey you better bet I am going to listen to their orders. If I feel like something they told me is unfounded then I am going to discuss it with them and see if we can come up with a plan- for example multivitamins make me sick. For some reason multivitamins make me very ill, for a first couple of months I took individual vitamins throuhgout the day to prevent getting sick. After that I ask my doctor to test my levels and everything was great. The doctor gave me clearence to stop taking most of the vitamins only if I had my levels checked monthly. I have and everything is fine. I still take B vitamins since those have always been low.   I didn't just do my own thing and ignore his advice. We made a plan and I followed through.   My opinion, again this is MY OPINION, if you are not going to follow doctors orders then don't spend the money and waste the time to have surgery.   If you are not willing to commit totally to what it takes to be successful with WLS don't do it. It may be that you aren't ready right now, but in time you will be.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

What, I am full, already??

I got a fill last Tuesday of .5 cc to give me a total of aroud 7cc. Last week was normal didn't really feel much extra restriction. This week- wowser!   Yesterday the restriction kicked in and I think I had the best band day ever (food wise) day started with 20 oz of water 1 cup of coffee (black) 1 cup of Special K with 1/2 cup 2% milk (breakfast) Smart Ones Four Cheese Pizza (lunch) 3oz chop steak 1/2 cup scalloped potatos (didn't eat it all)   No snacks!!!   I stayed satisfied all day long with no snacks. Yesterday was the hubs B-day and he requested seasoned chopsteak and homemade scalloped potatos, so this was what we had. The chop steaks are 3 oz each. Preband I would eat 2 plus 2 sides and still have room, not now! I eat about 3 bites of steak and 2 bites of potatos and full! I thought WTH, wow, I am full on no more than that!! So I pack the remainder in a tupperware bowl for lunch today. I didn't get hungery later in the evening, I just felt good.   I am loving this new found freedom from food. I like getting my fill on so much less- it's rush.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Fight or Flight

When you are trying to lose weight and you hit a plateau or even go up a little inspite of doing what you are suppose to it is so easy to get frustrated.   My weight loss has been painfully slow- 50 lbs in a little over 6 months. I am one of those nuts who opts to weigh daily and chart it to see my patterns in connection with what I eat. I also opt to count calories and have a fitbit to tell me an average of what I burn in day.   While I haven't always been the perfect lapband patient I do stick pretty close to doctors orders. The last few weeks I am been doing what I am suppose to - 3 meals 1 cup or less 1 snack eating 1300 or less calories a day and doing cardio for 30 min to an hour 4-5 days a week. Yet, while I am doing this my weight managed to tick up from 195 where it was Saturday back up to 200 by Monday and today back down 197. I know I haven't eaten the calories to cause this so it has to be something else.   With past diets I would have taken the flight approuch- this isn't doing any good, forget it I'm eating what I want. However, with the band I choose the fight mode. I am going to keep fight the fight against the fat. One of us will win and I plan on it being me!   It is so easy to flee the lapband lifestyle when we don't see results that we want or expect, but we must (I must) stay and fight. Fight through the ups and celebrate the downs in the scales.   On the ups it can be from water retention, a cold, not going potty, or muscle gain. All of these reason will eventually level out and the scale number will go down, but only if I keep on keeping on.   I hope that you choose the fight approch to! After all our health is worth fight for!

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Inside Out

I will admit a big part of why I did this surgery is so I could buy smaller clothes and look better. I was tired of looking in the mirror and seeing a whale. Then another part of me was concern of heading down a path of bad health. I was 31 y/o when I had surgery and my blood pressure was creeping up as were my A1c levels (surgar) and my cholesterol levels were inching up as well. My father being diabetic, my 44 y/o brother having a heart attack and stroke worried me. I didn't want to be in those shoes. So I decided to do something about it- lapband.   I came into this honestly, thinking it would be easier. Easy it is not, worth it absolutely. I can't just eat whatever, I have to make a choice to eat healthy foods and to eat less at a sitting. My band helps me feel satisfied longer with less so that part does make the process easier. However, I still must control what goes in me.   I use to hear eat healthy and you will feel better and I thought, gee I feel fine I must be okay. I had no idea how I could feel. I have been over weight or obese since childhood so I never really knew how I could feel inside.   I have now cut out most all processed foods, except for the occasional WW Smart One at lunch. I eat a lot more veggies and fruit. I eat less carbs, I choose not to cut them out because I didn't feel that I could keep to that longer term and I want to eat in a way I can maintain; but I do eat fewer than I use to and good carbs. Instead of drinking soda all the time I drink water. I have started making and eating things I never thought I would - fritta's, couscous, flax seed, from stratch pot pies, turkey bacon and the list goes on.   I have now started an exercise routine that I like and feel I can keep up with. I love the show The Doctors but I work when it's on. I DVR the show and when I get home I hop on my elliptical and watch the show while I sweat. The time flies by.   Amazing I am now feel what people talked about- I feel good inside. My "inerd" feel healthy. It's almost like I can feel my body saying thank you. I breath easier, my gut feels better - it's hard to explain, but it's just a feeling of health. I sleep better at night and feel more rested when I get up. I am able to concentrate more at work and home.   With the feeling better on the inside it is sipping out to the outside. Sure after losing 50 lbs I look better. But, now my skin and hair look healthy and good. My hair is shiny with out the addition of product. I smile bigger because I feel better. My eyes twinkle because I feel better. I move easier when I walk and it shows in my gate.   All in all it's a great feeling to be getting healthier and I am begining to understand why people become "health nuts".   While my weight isn't coming off fast it is coming off. Each month at the doctor's office my weight is down a little more, anywhere from 2 lbs to 7 lbs. So I feel I am doing pretty good and my body is happy.   I hope that all of you can experence this feeling of health as you transform you body.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Could I? Should I? Maybe if... Just this....

You hear and see a lot on this site " just because you can eat more doesn't mean you should".   Frankly this is the case if you have the band or not. We all got here because we could and did and we "just this onced" more than once.   Most of us have doctors who gave us very specific orders as to how much we are to eat at a time. My doctor said a cup. Have I ever eaten more than that at a meal- yes, alot more- no, should I have - no. I got use to eating a lot at one sitting pre-band. I was never much of a snacker / crap eater, but I was a big eater at meal time. I could eat with the big boys, which was why I became a big girl. In my obese mind food was good and more was better.   Now that I have the band food still taste good, really good, but I know that I MUST stop at a cup. Why must I stop, 1- My band has made my stomach about the size of a golf ball (that ain't big) 2- I DO NOT want to stretch it or damage my band 3- I really do want to loose weight. So while I could likely eat a lot even now post-banded I do not "want" to. (There is that word again- WANT)   There are times, especially at family events, that I find myself helping my plate like I use to eat and I have to go whoa- not gonna happen. It's hard to lose the mantality of being a big eater at times.   There are some banders on here who say there band reminds them or prevents them from eating "bad" foods or to much. Well, my band doesn't.   What does my band do? It helps me eat slower and stay satisfied longer with less. I do get stuck on occassion, but that is normally because I tried to eat to fast or didn't chew well enough. My job as the band user is to listen to my body and if I am not hungry DON'T EAT. When I do eat, eat things that are good for me (protein, veggies, fruits) and keep my portion sizes down. I do not need to eat a gallons worth of food, my body only needs a cup.   It isn't always easy to do our part, the band is there willing and able to help, but we (I) must do my part. Each time I eat when I'm not hungry, eat more than I should, or eat "crap" foods I imagine my band sitting there hanging in shame.   The band will not, can not help me if I choose to go against it. So next time I think well just a little more or just this once I will remind myself that those thoughts is what got me to the place where I needed the band.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Attitude

Charles Swindall wrote a statement about attitude...   "The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.   Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home.   The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.   And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes."   I have always loved this and have it hanging in my office. I hadn't really thought about it lately, but I happened to notice it this morning. I think we can add that attitude can make or break a weight loss plan.   I know for me I have days when I am down in the dumps and it would be so easy to reach for a candy bar, but I choose to reach for my water bottle instead. The people around us, the scale, the weather, heck the day of the week tend to play a role in our mood. But the part he says that 10% of life is what happens to me and 90% is how I react. How freaking true is that? So when my mood gets skewed I have to choose my reaction, I have to choose to deal with out using food. Also, in situations where food is avalible, how will I react- I should react with - if I am hungry= eat, if am am not= pass.   For me I have got to not use food, well let me change that- calories, as a reward for doing well or a reward for dealing with difficulty situation. For instance, yesterday was one hellva day for me. Crap hit the fan for work, dealth with several difficult parents and one pissy co-worker. I could have gone home and drank and entire bottle of wine. After all that would calm me and I deserved it after a rough day. NO I DID NOT DESERVE IT- I deserve to do something better for me than take in empty calories. I am proud of myself, I jumped on my elliptical and did a 30 min intense interval tranining. I was sweating like a pig, but when I got off I felt better, my mood was better and I was happy when the hubs got home.   So, the question is how will we react to this band, how will we react to situation that use to cause us to eat till we were stuffed?   What's your attitude?

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Measure of Success?

It's hard to really measure you success on this journey- there are so many things you can look at.... Scale number going down Clothing getting to big Eating less calories Exercising More Being able to move better Breathing Better Lower BP or Glucose levels Feeling better   These are all ways that we can measure our success, but the one I think we all tend to harp on is the almighty scale. After all, at the doctor's office your scale number is what tell your doctor if you are obese or not. I am the worlds worst about getting hung up on a scale number.   When I went for a check up in Dec I was only 2 lbs down from my last visit so I was bumed. Yesterday I went it, I had lost 7 lbs since I was last there, so of course I felt great. I am excited, yet no matter if I lose 2 lbs or 7 in a month I always wish it were more.   I am a member of the instant gradification society, not that I want to be. I wish we could see the results we want to see quicker, but we must wait and take it one step at a time.   Besides my scales number going from 247 (highest) to 195 what else has been a postive effect: My BP is totally normal again My asthma is almost non exsistant I am able to move better (even run- oh my) I am no longer in a 22 I am in a 16 petite or a 14 Women's Petite   I know I am being successful, but there are days when I compare myself to others and feel I am not what I should be because I am not doing the same as them. We have some amazing people on this site who are and have rocked this they are losing and keeping a positve attitude. Some choose to go carb less, some opt to do couch to 5k, some don't excercise at all, some do this some do that. Each time I read about someone elses "way" I think well I'm not doing this right, I need to do what they are doing.   But....Have a lost weight? Yes Am I healthier? Yes So why do I feel the need to change?   Each of us are different, each of us have had our own addiction to food (some love bread, some sweets, some soda, some salt, ect) We all have our down fall, and we all have to deal with that in our own way. We have to find a balance in us for what works now and what will work forever.   Our goal is forever weight loss right? So each of us has to figure out what we are going to be able to do now and forever. For me I know I am not going to exercise like a maniac, but I know I need some, so I make an effort to hit the elliptical 4 days a week - this is something that I can manage long term- but no way could I do it every day (well I could, but I know I won't) I am a carb lover and I know I would never give up carbs long term so I keep carbs in my menu, but I just eat less of them. I love pizza, but instead of eating 4 slices I eat 1 and am happy. I only eat desserts on special occassions, this isn't a big deal to me, I am fine without; so on my birthday or Christmas I will enjoy, but I won't make them weekly.   Bottom line is, I, Kim must make changes that I can and will be able to maintain for the rest of my life. This like a marriage- I am married to my band till death do us part. I will not get a divorce from it so I must do my part to keep our relationship happy and healthy. For each of you out there you must find your way and I can't tell you what that is. You may have a trigger food that would cause you to binge so you need to stay away from it. You may be able to toss carbs to the side forever, if you can more power to you and bow down!!   Just find what works for you. If you are loosing steadily then you do not have to stress about what others are doing and that you should do the same. This is something I have got to work on. I am me and my way is working so I am going to do my best to own and work it and work my weight down to goal.   So what is your measure of success?

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

There is help out there....

It's been 6 months since my lapband surgery and my life has chaged. I have lost 49 pounds (244 to 195), I feel better, my asthma is better, my blood pressure is perfect, I have gone down 2 sizes (20/22 to a 14/16). I feel more aware of my life, I am more aware of what goes into my body. I eat better less processed foods, I don't have the GI issues I use to have because of it. When I walk into the mall, a resturant, a store, even work I don't feel as huge as I use to.   Friday I went to the grocery store and then today the hubs and I went out to Best Buy. I see women and men walking around looking like they are in pain being so large, riding the carts and I so want to be like an evangelist and tell them there is help. You can lose that weight that is holding you back. Most people would take offense to that though, but it's true.   I so wish I would have taken step years ago to do this and get control of my life. I as so thankful that I had the surgery now rather than waiting until I hit 300 or 400 or more pounds because that is were I was headed. I am 5'2 and at 244 I was already looking as big around as I was tall any more weight would have been horrid on me. I realized last spring that if I didn't do something then that my Christmas I would likely be seeing 300 on the scales, it was time to take control.   While I haven't been the perfect patient I haven't been the worst either. I still eat carbs, I still eat some processed stuff, I still eat pizza- I just eat much less. The hubs and I use to order a large pizza and an order of breadsticks and eat it all in one sitting. Now we order 1 small pizza and on occassion have left overs. When I use to cook rice I'd cook 2 cups now I cook 1/2 cup and still have some left. Food last a lot longer in our house.   The thing a lot of people who fail at any weight loss surgery fail to realize is that the surgery it's self will not make you lose weight. If you want to you can eat around the band (slidders) or stretch your stomach back with the other surgeries. A commitment must be made to make a change in eating habits and follow through it.   Just last weekend I saw a lady who had gastric bypass 3 years ago, to begin with she lost 100 lbs, now she has gain that back plus some. She said the surgery was useless and that it doesn't help. But, the large plate of food and the half of a 2 liter I saw her consume that night showed me why she failed. She refused to commit to the process. She either wasn't ready or didn't understand her what her part was in the process.   I am ready, I am committed to the process. While I may not be perfect, I will eat less and move more forever more. I want to succeed. I am proud of the 49 lbs I have said goodbye to and I will not see them again. I am committed, I want this.   Weight loss surgery isn't for everyone, it's only for the committed!!

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Spinach and Onion Fritata

This was an awesome dinner. It comes in about 250 calories a serving with 16.5 grams of protein.   Ingrediant:   1 large potatoe sliced thinly (you many not use all of it) 1 large onion diced 2 teaspoons of garlic minced 1 box of frozen defrosted and drained chopped spinach 4 eggs 1 cup of skim milk 1/4 cup of sh. cheese salt and pepper to taste 3 table spoons olive oil   Heat oven to 350 - place a cookie sheet inside   Slice potatoes evenly and thinly - coat with 1 TBS of olive oil - dash of salt and pepper Remove cookie sheet from oven and place a layer of potatoes on the sheet- bake for about 10-12 min (you want the potato just tender)   In a skillet add 2 TBS of olive oil- diced onion, minced garlic. Cook until onion is almost done, then add drained spinach and mix well.   In a bowl mix 4 eggs, 1 cup milk, cheese- add salt and pepper to taste.   When potatoes are just tender remove from oven and place in the bottom of a Pam sprayed casserole bowl (I used a large corningware round bowl). Just cover the bottom with potatoe for the crust. Pour egg and spinach mixture over top.   Bake for 30 min or until center is set.   This was so good. It make 4 portions so I have left over for my lunch today or I could have had it for breakfast.   You can also play with the recipe adding different seasoning to the potatoes or add salsa, mushrooms, peppers- almost anything to the mix.   Bottom line it was good, filling, and low cal.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Reality Check

It seems that with weight loss surgery we have ups and downs in weight and mood.   Before Christmas my weight got down to 197, then went up over the holidays, now it back down to 198. I expected as much. I enjoyed my holiday and I don't regret or fret over it.   Even before the holidays though my weight would flucuate day to day and the last two months I had only lost a total of 3 lbs even though I was doing as instructed. I have been banded for 6 months and am right around the 50 lbs lost mark. Don't get me wrong I am so glad that the 50 lbs is gone, but I really thought I would have lost more by this point. Some people have lost much more weight in this time frame, why haven't I?   Time to take a good hard look at myself...... Am I really sticking to the rules?   Do I only eat 1 cup of food at a meal? Honestly, the answer is no. Sometimes it is likely to be about 1.5 cups.   Do I get 64 or more oz of water in each day? Again, no. During the work week I drink 80-90 oz, but on the weekends when I am busy cleaning house, running around on errons, going to see friends I often don't drink water like I should.   Do I get 60+ grams of protein in a day? Most likely no. I try, really I do. I start my day with 20 grams in a protein shake and have greek yogurt with 12 grams for a snack, so I get close, but close only counts in horseshoes and hand granades.   Do I workout 3 or more times a week? Not lately, not since October. Life got crazy in October with the death of my Grandmother. I have been working more, getting ready for the holiday's, traveling, helping my mom deal with my Grandmother's estate, helping my mother deal with her own health issues. I have let the work outs slide, and I know I have got to get back to it.   So, bottom line is, my band isn't the issue, my surgeon isn't the issue, I am the issue. I have got to get on the ball and meet goals each day not just sometimes. I do have good intentions and I try hard, but fall short and it's time that it end.   I am not sure how much I would have lost if I would have followed each and every rule to a T and I won't know. However, I am happy and proud of what I have lost and I am working to change my ways and be more complient.   I feel ashamed that I have fallen short, but not admitting it doesn't make it not so. I want each day to be a gold star day.   I get down and out because I haven't lost as much as I wish I had, but I only have myself to blame, yet what is blaming myself going to do. I must let it go realize that I must make some changes, make them and move forward.   It's time to stop wanting and start making it reality.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Bad Advice Buddy

When I first started thinking about being banded I talked to a co-worker who had lost 60 + lbs and gotten to a size 10 after being banded. She was really encouraging and told me if I did it she would be there to help me along.   Well after being banded she turned on me- she was always telling me I was doing it wrong and not being helpful at all. I stopped discussing the band with her to prevent any bad feelings after all I have to work with this woman. Since my surgery it's like it pushed her to get back on the wagon and she has lost an additional 20 lbs and is rubbing it in my face. Rude a little?   Now she has begun telling me things like- you can eat reg food after getting a fill, it won't hurt you- your doctor is to restrictive you don't need to drink all that water it's not good for you you are getting fills to often   I do not ask for advice, but I get it anyway. Frankly I just ignore her advice because we didn't have the same surgeon and I trust and like my surgeon and prefer to listen to him not her.   Her bad advice is just bugging me. Yes, she has had great success and done very well, looks great. I don't know if she is following the same things she is telling me or if she is trying to sabatoge me. I refuse to listen to her, but now she is giving advice to someone else who is considering the band, which upsets me because this person doesn't know anything about it. I want to step up and say something, but that person hasn't come to me to ask for advice so I feel like it would be butting in and could possibly cause some tention in the work place.   My weight loss has been painfully slow, but it will keep coming down. I am happy that I was banded and have finally excepted that my body will drop the weight on it's on time table. I gained a little over Christmas, but feel confident that I will take it off.   It's just hard to come to work and have someone rub their loss in your face and tell you that you are doing it wrong when I am doing what my doctor say do.   What's a girl to do?

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Holiday Plan?

Christmas is almost here and most of us are in full swing party mode. I have been to 2 Christmas parties so far and was able to be good (one of them was easy because I hosted).   When I started the lapband journey I choose to do myfitnesspal and track my calories. However, this time of year that is difficult when eating away from your tried and trues. Some successul banders (CarolinaGirl - I had to call you out because you are doing great) are rocking it with just measuring out their cup of food.   So for the holiday season I am going to switch it up and go for the measure method. Christmas Eve I leave and head to my mom's in Southern VA to spend that day and the next with them. On Christmas day we will have around 50 family memeber at my moms and tons of food. We begin with Christmas breakfast with my parents, my hubs and me, my 2 brothers their wives and kids (which is 30 just in it self- one brother has 8 kids, nuts I know). My mom and I have gone over the menu and she has made sure there is band friendly foods.   I will open my band with coffee, black no additives. I will have A scramble egg with A peice of bacon and one tiny slice of my mom's creamcheese breakfast cake (I will not feel guilty this is made once a year and it is awesome).   The rest of the fam shows up for lunch - my mom's brother, sister, their spouses and kids and grandkids. This totals around 58 people (loud and crazy). Lunch will consist also of band friendly foods for me- my mom was nice. I will eat a little of my mom's yummy turkey casserole (turkey and green peas) and some pineapple from the fruit tray. No dessert for me, my mom again was nice and is making things I don't really like (cocanut cake - like eating finger nail- ugh).   I figure sticking to my plan will be easy since I will have all the kids around to distract me- I love playing with them. Even my niece and newphews who are teen still like to sit around and talk to me.   New Year's Eve with the friends - we will go late after dinner. I will have one glass of wine and that is it!!   So this is my holiday band plan- what's yours?

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Why can't we all just get along?

In society today people have become, well crazy. We ALL have crazy moment when we just seem to forget and make snap comments or judgement without thinking things through.   What took place in CT is truly a tragedy that I don't think I will ever be able to comprehend. I had the same feelings when reading about and see reports about Columbine, Okalahoma City, 9-11, Virginia Tech - why do people hurt innocents. These are all horrible horrible things, but what about the small things.   On a daily basis we (me and you) have the ability to hurt or help someone. In my job I can get easily frustrated with parents, kids, staff, and have to remind myself to be real. I should not take my frustration with one person out on someone else- they don't deserve it. This is also the situation with this site.   This site was created with the hope of giving support to other who have been banded. There are some on this site who have done an amazing job with their band and really have it down, then there are some who are struggling or haven't done as well, but the one thing we have in common is the band. When I respond, write blogs, ect I try to only present what has happened to me on my journey.   Each person on this site have influences that other do not- different doctor, emotional states, family situations, illnessess, ect there for the journey will not be the same for everyone. I tend to only get frustrated with those that try to tell people to go against doctors orders. If you choose a doctor and trust him/her then you should LISTEN to their medical advice!!!! If you doctor says you need vitamins, maybe there is something in your labs or history to cause the doctor to say that so take them no matter what anyone else says. If you doctor says eat xyz then do it. If you feel like you are getting unsound advice from the doctor seek out a second opinion from ANOTHER DOCTOR!!!! A bariactric specialist is the only one you should take MEDICAL advice from!!   On this site we need to be here to tell our story, how we are doing, how we are making it on journey and what we have experienced. No, we do not need to sugar coat and validate bad behavior (eating food 2 days post op- I doubt this is allowed by any Doctor). What we should be doing is being a helpful encourager to stick to the program. We all are told to eat healthier (stop eating junk food every day and greasy fried foods), to move more (I didn't say be a gym rat, just move more), and to eat smaller portions ( I think most doctors recommend a cup). If you do not like a response some one has to a comment you posted either ignore it or RESPECTFULY state why you do not agree.   The key is being respectful of each other, we can agree to disagree. I may not like what a person has to say, but that doesn't give me the right to bash them. If I expect respect, then I must give it.   What a better world we would live in if people could just respect!!

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

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