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Lapband Journey

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Best Weekend In Forever!!

My hubs and I married 3 years ago Labor Day weekend, so even though our anniversary is Wed, we celebrated this weekend. Rather than going to Cheesecake Factory where we normally go (we got engaged there), we went to Moe's where I knew I could get something with my calorie range that I would like. Then we went into the mall where he got me 2 pairs of Danskos and then we went into a jewlry store where he bought me a new diamond. Totally awesome hubs!! Shoes and diamond a girls two favorite things- he said he was proud of me and he loved me so he wanted me to know it.   On top of that I lost 3 lbs this weekend (upped my calories and that made it come off) tired the shock thing. Before heading out with the hubs I put on a fav pair of shorts- pulled them up, zipped them, button them and was like wait - these are hanging off me- I pulled at the bottom of the and they slipped right off. YEAH- I tossed them to the side. This morning I put on a pair of pants that I hadn't worn in 5 years and the fit perfect. Everyone at work has commented today on how good I look!! What a boost. Now at lunch, I heated up a Smart Ones Chicken and Peanut Sauce, I ate the chicken bites first and then started eating the other- well after a few bites I was like wow I just don't want any more. I tossed a 3rd of it. YEAHHHHH!!   What a difference a few days can make in attitude. I am sure I will hit another low point, but boy do these high points feel awesome!

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Why?

I went on a road trip last weekend and did pretty good, even having to eat out. I turned down apple pie and icecream when every one else was eating it. Back at work this week, I turned down a awesome looking chocolate cake and donuts. I am eating what I am suppose to, drinking water even exercising, but am I losing weight, NO!.   I know everyone hit plateaus, but this is ridiculas. Last week my weight got down to 216.4 on Wed, this Tuesday I was 218. Tuesday night I worked in the yard, push mowed the lawn and the raked the yard- out there 3 hours sweating. Wed morning I was down to 216.2 then this morning I was back up to 217.2. WTH??   I went through surgery and all the test, and I still can't seem to lose. The first few weeks things went great, but now it seems like I am losing less than a pound a week and sometimes not even that. Why am I eating like a bird just to stay fat?   Ok, before I get a beat down. I know it's worth it, I am just frustrated and afraid. There are people out there that the band doesn't work for, what if I am one of those people. What if I went through all of this for nothing.   I realize that the weight didn't come on me over night so it won't fall off over night, but geez. I was so hopeful and excited to begin with, but now I am losing hope and just feeling fearful. I am not stopping the band why, I am still eating healthy, because I have learned to like it. I just want to see results on the scales for all my efforts.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

The Roller Coaster Of Band Life

The start of the week my weight was dropping like a rock. I lost 4 lbs between last Thurday and Tuesday. Then I started going back up, 2 lbs, I know it is water weight. I am on the white pills of myBC pack, while I don't have my period I still seem to have the symptoms- this is common I only have a period every 2-3 months.   I just hate the ups and down. I would love to get into a good pattern and say rather than going up and down so much. I know everyone says don't weigh every day, but I use it more to track my progress and fine possible patterns. I am a science girl, so sue me.   I talked to a friend who had her band place a few months before me and she said that she always felt when the plateaus hit or she bounced up a day, she was always terrified that she had lost as much as she would and that was it. I realize that the band life is different from all the diets I did in the past, this is a new way to live, not a short term thing, so I will only fail if I give up and stop living the life.   I am proud of myself that for 2 months I have stuck to eating like I should, and working out. I am enjoying tracking my calories on fitness pal. I ran into a gas station near my office this afternoon to get another bottle of water and find a snack because I was going to have to work late and I couldn't believe the calories in things that I use to eat that I never paid attention to before. OMG- no wonder I am fat eating that crap. I love the fact that I am more attentive to what I am putting in my body now. I am shocked at how horrible I was eating in the past. My attitude has changed completely as to what I consider a treat and what I am willing to treat myself with. I use to eat a pastry just because it was there even though it really didn't taste good, no more. If I take a bite of something and it doesn't taste good, I don't take another bite; it's just not worth the calories. I only wish I had the knowledge before I have now.   No matter what my weight does at this point, I feel like I am successful because I have changed, I am paying more attention to what is best for me.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

I Am Becoming One Of Those People.......

I use to have people say, oh I didn't realize it was lunch time. I would be like yeah right, how the heck do you forget lunch. Today I was sitting in my office working and someone walked into my office and ask, aren't you eating lunch. I was like huh, it's to early then I looked at the clock 12:30 - WOW I had no idea it was lunch time.   I also use to get annoyed when friends would eat a small salad or an apple and be like man I am so full. I had an apple and natural peanut butter for lunch and geez I am full. I actually really enjoyed my healthy lunch. I can't believe I am already one of those people. While eating one apple slice I didn't chew enough and felt it get caught a bit, no PB'ing or sickness just a little tightness. Wow I have a band and it's working.   Yesterday instead of cooking like I would normally do on a rainy day I got on our elliptical and worked out and it felt good. I am enjoying working out- WTH?   I am doing it, I am really doing it!!! I lost 2 lbs in the last week --- YEAH Me!! I am finally becoming the person I always wanted to be and the person who I was always jealous of. I know I will have a day again that I am doubting my band, but today I am thrilled with it. I feel like my band is helping me achieve a life long dream.   Thanks to all of you out there who inspire me to keep it up - Missy, carolina girl, jean - thanks for the help and for the post that kick me into action. Bansters ROCK!

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

The Retraining Of A Southern Girl

I am 100% born and bread southern girl. I even grew up on a farm. Being from a small community and a small baptist church food is everything. I mean seriously, being southern and southern baptist = we eat for every reason. The southern way is when someone dies you take food, when someone has a baby you take food, we someone has a birthday you have a party with lots of food. The old saying about baptist and fried chicken are not far from the truth. Our church go together all the time for means, homecoming, revivial, bible school, weddings, funerals, heck we had Wed night dinners at church.   At home each summer my mom, grandmother and I would work in the garden. At 31 years old I can freeze or can any veggie and make my own home made pickle. There is no fruit I can't make a cobbler with. In the summer each weekend we would make some kind of sweet treat for whom ever may drop by for a visit on Sunday afternoon. Yes, people still lived like this in the last 30 years. I am totally not complaining I had an awesome childhood. I knew how to cook by the time I was 13 and was cooking a full meal for the family at least once a week at that age. I still make my own pickle each summer, I hate store bought and I freeze fresh corn and can string beans and tomatos. I know I am odd, but I am me.   All this life revolving about food got me to nearly 250 lbs. Since I was 5 years old my weight has fluctuated up and down. In 9th grade I was already in a size 20. My senior year of high school I lost weight and got down to a size 16, but that was after an accident when lead to months of pain and physical theraphy. I manage to keep the weight off through college, but once I was out I gained that plus some. When I married I wanted to be the little ms suzy homemaker, so I would cook enough for an army because that was what I was use to, but it was just me and my husband. To keep the food and sweets from being thrown away we would eat it, so both mine and my hubs weight went up.   Now at 31 years old, I have decided to change. I have had to change my way of thinking. First off I have become the odd one who instead of bringing food to a greiving family I bring paper plates, and napkins or stamps. Since the family send thank you notes the stamps keep them from having to buy them. I have learned when hosting a party one sweet something the rest healthy ( think fruit plate and veggie plate). Instead of drinking the house wine of the south (SWEET tea) I drink water. Instead of frying everything, I grill, bake, broil and steam.   This has not and continues not being an easy transition, but it is happening and it is rewarding. Since I began this journey back in April, my husband's eating habits have changes and exercise habits have changed. He is eating better and working out more. My parents even though they are not here with us I talk to them a lot and they are trying my new healthy recipes and I have gotten my dibetic dad to change from gaterade to propel. So my trying to change me for the better are changing the ones I love. So it is worth it.   I told my husband once that nothing worth having ever came easy and this is no different. So instead of dreading each change I look forward to the challenge and will meet it head on with the help of my family. I am still a southern belle, but I won't continue all the southern traditions.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

My Band Is Working, My Band Is Working!!!!

I had my second fill on Thursday, she gave me a little over a cc. Before now I had been holding my portions down myself and not really getting a single of I am good I don't need anymore. Since my fill on Thursday I am getting the single before I hit my normal portion size. YEAH!!   It is right before my TOM and I am craving sweets like crazy, but so far I have been able to just say no. Today will be difficult it is raining and we are staying in and normally this type of day would mean me in the kitchen baking, yet I know if I bake I will eat, so I just can't do that. I have considered baking something for my husband to take to work tomorrow for his co-workers, they would like that. I love to cook, to bake, to be little Ms Suzy Homemaker; just like my mom, but I know I have to break those habits to, but it is a hard one to break. I feel closer to my grandma and mom when I am baking, rainy cold days were the days they taught me how to cook. Those were the best days of my childhood.   Do any of you out there have a day that they allow themself a sweet treat, or do they just always say no?

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

2Nd Fill

I had my 2nd fill this afternoon. I am not at 4.5 cc's. I had only lost 5 lbs since my last visit, which my doctor said was good since I was basically doing it on my own. The doctor said that the scales can be deceptive, but she knows I am losing weight due to how much she is able to put in my band at one time. Thankfully I didn't pass out this time, she pushed the fluided very slowly this time as to not stimulate vagus nerve.   I am glad I took the step to get my band. This journey isn't always easy, it's not alway fun, but it is worth it. I am proud of myself for sticking to an exercise routine, for having will power to stop stuffing my face. I wish I would have to ahead and gotten my band 5 years ago when I first looked into it. I just hope that I did it soon enough to prevent any of the health problems I was heading towards.   One of the things I have learned now that I didn't know before is - food is still good, but it can be even better when you don't gorge yourself on it!!

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Tough Weekend

This weekend was a rough one. My weight had gone up on Friday and I was really worried the band was not going to work for me, my fear getting the best of me. I was really down unable to figure out the patter of my weight ups and downs. I was feeling like I had failed on many fronts. I have been married 3 years and the first year I had 3 miscarriages. I am able to get pregnant easily, yet I can not carry past a month or two. This hurts greatly, I have always wanted to be a mother, so I feel like I am not a "true" woman because I can't have a baby. I also feel like I failed my husband in that I can't give him a child. This has been a great hurt for me, but most of the time I can deal with it and stay rational and not let it get me down.   This weekend though I felt like I was failing the band just like I'd failed at motherhood. I had a good 'ole pity party Saturday. After giving my house a good clean, I sat down and let it all out to the hubs and had a good cry, then a good nap. It helped to get it all out. It does seem like loosing weight and changing so many of my habits have an effect on my emotions. Just as everything else in my life, apprently this is going to be a roller coaster.   Please do berate me for my feelings and opinions, they are mine and I have a right to them. I am doing what I am suppose to and following my teams directions. I have lost weight, but for me the chaging of myself carries an emotional toll. I have been overweight since I was 6 years old. My habits started 25 years ago.   I suppose everyone needs to have a pity party every now and again or just a good cry, this weekend was mine.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Learning To The Lapband Way

7 wks post op tomorrow and down 24lbs. I know that 24 lbs is good especially since I am not at my sweet spot, but I still feel like it is coming off slowly. I am doing well keeping to 900-1100 calories a day. I have given up soda, coffee, fried food and haven't missed the one bit. I no longer drink during meal, which I thought would be horrible. I am counting my calories on myfitnesspal and I am working out 4 days a week on our elliptical and lifting weight a couple of days. I opted to park further away from the door at stores. The way I eat, cook, heck live have all changed in the matter of 7 weeks and I don't feel like I am missing out on anything. For the first time in my life I have will power. Today I went to a work meeting and they had coffee and donuts. I turned them down and was happy with my propel and my fiber one 90 calorie cookie for my mid morning snack. While the donut looked great, I knew I didn't need and and wasn't hungry for it.   The only thing that makes me say hmmmmm...... is I seem to lose a half pound a day Saturday thur Monday and then the rest of the week I don't lose an ounce. What in the world causes that? My water consumption doesn't change. My calorie count stays in line. Yet each week it's the same pattern.   I am loving my new healthier life, but still learning the ropes of living the life.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Negative People

I am just 6 weeks post of and have lost 23 lbs. While that is great and I happy to have lost it and that my clothes fit better, I am having a fat day. While I know I am still fat (221), I want the feeling of feeling better about myself to come back. The change.... negative people. I work with several banders, one succesful at 60lbs lost, and 2 unsuccesful. The unsuccessful ones think I am crazy for doing it because it doesn't work.   The one that has lost 60lbs and kept it off seems to have an attitude now. She keeps telling me that I won't be able to lose the 100lbs I want to. She said I will only lose about 40% of my excess weight. My doctor keeps telling me that I will lose as much as I work at losing-- meaning if I excercise and eat right I can lose the 100lbs I want to.   The negitve co-worker picks apart everything I eat telling me what is bad about it. Then they go get milkshakes and offer me one - hell no I don't want a milkshake. Today when I didn't bring lunch because literally the dog ate (stole it from the counter when I turned my back) I said I was going to run out and pick up lunch. Then I get- you know that really isn't good for you, you aren't going to lose weight like that. Just because I run pick something up doesn't mean I am going to make a bad choice as to what to get. I know I need to just let it go and ignore her, but when you see a person daily who is being negative it wears on you. I can't keep from seeing her, she is two offices down and literally I am going to see and bump into her. I realize this is just a mental game, maybe she doesn't want me to be more successful than her. However, her being this way is giving me motivation to show her.... can't wait to get home and hit the elliptical.   It is odd how my attitude has changed. Pre-band I would go to food due to hurt feelings, now I go work out and literally work out the frustration and then I feel so much better afterward.   I am going to do this, but the negative people are singing a chorus in my head that I will fail.   How do you deal with negative people?

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Finally Moving Again

I spent one week at a stand still with my weight. It bounced back and forth between 224 and 226 for a week with me doing nothing different. While it was my TOM, it still worried me. Finally Saturday it started going down. I am back to dropping about a half pound a day. Such a motivation when that scale drops.   This weekend I had two of my 16 year old nephews. They are awesome boys and they love to come stay with my husband and I. Of course with 2 growing boys I was always fixing food, but I stayed on track. We went out to dinner with them and I got the grilled chicken and broccoli - didn't eat all the broccoli, but the chicken was awesome and I didn't leave filling horrible and stuffed. One night I fixed burgers for the hubs and the kids, but instead of having the bun I put my burger (extra tender and lean) with low cal cheese, home made pickles on my plate and ate it with a fork. The kids looked at me like I was nuts, but it was good and saved 200 calories from what I would have normally eaten. This morning when I took them home I stopped at McDonalds to get them a biscuit from breakfast and I didn't get anything, I had eaten my half a cup of cherrios before leaving. Feeling proud of myself for making postive choices.   While I do find myself missing some of the foods I use to love, I am really enjoying how I feel not eating them. I like feeling satisfied and not stuffed. Feeling this good and being proud of my self for making the good choices really is motivating me to make even better ones and continue this path.   Thanks for all those who sent messages of encouragement while I was worried. It really helps to have others who understand supporting you. Banders Rule!!

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Stalled And Frustrated

I am so frustrated that I seem to have stalled out after a month of solid loss. I am excited to be 20 lbs down, but I really had hoped I would see a continual loss. Today has almost been a week since I have seen the scale go down. I know it is time for my TOM, but it is still bothersome.   The great thing is, that years ago I would have said screw this I am going to eat whatever I want, but now I can't. While I could choose what I eat, I can't eat much of it. I know the band is already helping even though I am not at my sweet spot. I am staying on track longer than I ever have.   I have managed to do the Total Gym and the Elliptical this week and it does help how I feel, but it's still not easy. So many others on this site have said we didn't get fat over night so we won't loose it over night.   Here is to really hoping the scales start droping soon.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

One Month Post Op

Yesterday was my one month post-op anniversary. I am 20 lbs down and really feeling good. I am still struggling to get the 64 oz of water my nutritionist wants me to get, but I am getting close. I have only had one fill and that was interesting. My doctor does fill with floroscopy so they can see and hopefully make sure they don't over fill. My 10cc band currently has 2.5 cc's. While my fill did not hurt a bit, I passed out. Apparently I have a sensitive vagus nerve, when the fluid was pushed into my band quickly I got dizzy and went out for second. It passed quickly and the doctor said that from now on they would have to push fluid slower as to not agrivate the nerve. I go back in one month and hopefully will be down another 20, but know that is unlikely.   The first couple of weeks I was dropping lbs like no bodies business, but now it has slowed to the 2-3 lbs a week. I am just happy it is headed in the right direction. I am so looking forward to being in onederland.   I am enjoying the lower grocery bill each week. I find I eat so little it take fewers groceries for me and my hubby. Don't get me wrong I am still eating, but I am just eating so much less than I did before surgery. Of course the extra eating and eating the wrong things got me to 244, so now I am turning that around. I am so thankful to have had a good experience thus far. I am so scared of getting stuck or throwing up that I am VERY careful when eating.   So far I think the best part of finally having had the surgery is the feeling like food no longer controls my life, I control it. My days aren't about what and when the next meal is, it is about the here and now. I do wish I would have done this 5 years ago when I first looked into it.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

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