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Lapband Journey

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Ever Evolving Process......

Thanksgiving day will be my 5 month band anniversary. As of today I have lost 43 lbs. I feel good and feel that I have been pretty successful. This hasn't been the easiest journey, but hasn't been as difficult as I once imagined.   I struggle with hunger at times and am in an ever evolving mode of searching for new healthy food options. I love finding tasty new ideas that are healthy. I have found a tasty stir-fry that both the hubs and I love that uses chicken breast, onions, 2 cloves of garlic and a bag of bird eye steam fresh asian medley veggies- so yummy with just a touch of low sodium soy sauce, a sprinkle of ginger, and a dash of red pepper flakes for heat.   Breakfast has become a struggle since I don't do mornings and can't drink protein shakes (makes me sick- I am odd I know). Some bandsters on here said to try a boiled egg or oatmeal- which I will be trying over the next couple of days. Gotta come up with something that will feel me up and not let me get so hungry before lunch.   Each time I go in for a feel and as I lose more weight things change and evolve regarding what works and doesn't work. At the start bread was no issue for me, however now, bread gets stuck, I guess that is because of the band being tighter. Whole wheat thin toast works ok. All meat use to be ok, but now if it is the slightest bit tough and I mean slightest I can't do it- just as well spit it out (I know gross). I have had to learn to brush a touch of olive oil over my chicken breast prior to baking so they are tender and juicy and that works great.   I am learning not to be so picky. As time goes on, I can eat so little at one time that I have gotten over being picky about what I have for a meal. If I have some left over veggies and can sprinkle some WW cheese on it heat them up and call it a meal. Before I would have had to have a full course.   I suppose everything is an evolution, I evolved into a fat person over years of over eating, not I am going the other way. I guess a slow steady evololution is the best way to go, which is what the band is helping with.   As this journey continues, I wonder what else will change? I wonder what I will learn to eat and what I will learn I don't want any part of?

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Have You Noticed.........

Since being banded I have noticed and realized a lot of things about food and myself.....   .........some foods just don't taste as good as once I know the calorie count! I use to love pastries, now I look at them and think - you know that just isn't worth the 250-500 calories in them. And I don't want it.   ........soft drinks just don't hold the appeal they use to. I use to down a couple of Dt Dews a day, now never touch it. Water is my friend and if I need flavor crystal light is great!   ........food doesn't have the power over me it did at one time. At one point I had no self control, but I didn't want to have it- like many say want power is most important. At that time I didn't want to control my intake so I didn't. I just don't think about food like I use to, it's not tops on my mind.   .......I no longer consider not eating certain things giving up on something. Since getting restriction thick breads are a problem. I use to LOVE breadsticks- and I mean I had an unhealthy love affair with them. Now they get stuck, and after getting stuck once on it, I have zero desire to have them again and I'm not really said about it.   ......OMG- healthy foods taste good!!! Eating fresh veggies cooked in a natural way taste better. Food in it's natural state cooked healthy has tons of flavor and make me feel good.   ...... I am happier. Now I don't know if this steams from weight loss (43 lbs in 4.5 months) or if it's from me eating better foods and not over eating. I truly believe there is truth in that if we fuel our body with the correct things it will make us feel better. Processed foods tend to make you tired and blah, but healthy fresh goods tend to give energy and a clear mind.   .....I am healthy concious. Never ever thought I would start becoming a healthy nut, but slowly it is coming. I pay attention to what I eat and put thought in as to what I should choose based on nutrtion not on taste. It's about what is best for my body not my taste buds- ie I choose the healthy options at a resturant even if I am wanting that calorie loaded tasty dish.   ........I am breathing better, I am moving better, my mind is clearer- it's like coming out of a fog. I call it walking out of the fat fog. I lived most of my life eating to much and gaining weight. My mind had become slow and foggy, my asthma was progressivly getting worse, my knees were just starting to hurt when I walked to much and my feet killed me.   ......... I am becoming REAL! I am getting real with myself about my bad choices in the past and reviewing them to prevent me from back tracking. I am recognizing and calling myself on bad choices (it's ok to eat that cake, it's ok not to work out tonight-just one night off won't hurt--- no, that cake isn't going to do anything from me but make me feel like crap, I'm not hungry so no thanks - yes, I need to work out tonight, skipping one night will lead to two, three, ect, so get your butt up and DO IT) I am admitting that my cooking habits of the past were not as healthy as I had deluted myself into believing.   Getting the band thus far has caused a lot of positive things to happen. I am so glad that I made the choice for me and that I committed to it, instead of doing it half assed (pardon the french). Every time I had tried to lose weight in the passed I never gave it my all, this time I jumped in with both feet and said ok it's time to do this. The band is my guide, my friend, my Gibb's slap (those of you who watch NCIS will get that reference), my band is my tool for making the weight loss and the life style change stick. I look forward the the rest of my life with the band and living a healthier more aware life.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Truth Be Told.....

We (me) lie to ourselves a lot.   I stayed in deniel over my weight for way to long. Thinking, oh, I'm not really that big. I just avoided pictures and mirrors. If I do see it's not there, right?   Due to my weight though I over compensated in a lot of areas. I was that annoying sibling who did everything my parents wanted. I made good grades, I worked, I was honest with my parents and I never got in trouble - honestly. This drove my brothers crazy. But, a lot of the reason for this was I wasn't popular. I didn't want to go to parties and stay out late because I had no self confidense.   As an adult I am pretty much a stickler for the rules at work and every where else. My weight has been out of control so I wanted to control everything else in my life.   Once I admitted, yes I am over weight, and yes I disgust myself with the rolls, I decided to do something about it. I was scared to begin with of not being successful. After all I got fat because I loved the taste of food- real food - not junk. I talked to my doctor and told him my fears, he ask if I really wanted to lose weight- I said yes. If anything were possible what would be the best way for you to loose- I thought well food not having calories would be nice- but realistically it was for me to eat less of what I was already eating. I already ate lots of veggies, healthy grains, fruit, and lean meats - I had already made that change years ago. I can't even tell you the last time I ate little debbie- never really liked them. He told me that he could help with that - the band would help me eat less.   Now, truth be told, 4.5 months post op, 43 lbs gone, this has not been as hard as I expected. Do I have hard days, heck yeah, but looking over the entire 4 months, once I got past the first 2, it's been pretty great. I don't miss soda, I don't miss the large quantity of food. I do not miss the size 22's. I don't miss anypart of my old life- nothing. Rather than filling like a stuffed cow after a meal I feel good, comfortable. It doesn't take much for it to kick in now that I have had enough since I got restriction. Once that hits I honestly believe if I ate another bite I would be sick- I haven't pushed that, but I feel that way. I hit that point at a cup of food. Left overs abound at my house now and I realize just how much I was eating.   We all say WLS is hard, it's not easy, it's not the easy way out and it's not. However, this is alot easier than continuing to live the way I was - fat and miserable! It's a lot easier to put down that fork now than it was before. It's a lot easier to say nope don't want that now that it was 5 months ago. 5 months ago I would go for any food at any time- now unless I'm hungry I don't want it. My daily craving is water - seriously- I drink 80-100 oz now, I am thirsty.   Anyway- this is just my rant- how do you feel about your journey- has it been easy or has it been hell?

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Judgement

Judgment sucks!!   I think we all have felt we are always judged reguarding out weight. My issues started when my doctor as a kid was a health nut and was always telling me I was a fatty. I would go in with step throat and he would spend the entire time harping on my weight. Bottom line is - we feel judged at work, in stores and at resturants for out weight. Sometimes I think we are judged, but sometimes I think it's just our own negitive feelings toward ourselves.   Today I was reading some blogs and post that talked about WLS. In some of them I felt judged because of how hard core people are. However, are they really talking to me or are they just talking about themselves?   All of choose WLS for a particular reason and we are either being successful or not. Here is the kicker - success doesn't come the same for everyone!! Some people preach a certain way- no carb, low carb, certain exercises, calorie counting, weighing daily, not weighing at home at all, ect.   I have found success in counting calories and doing cardio with light weight training. I still eat carbs and foods I love just less of them. I have lost 43 lbs in a little over 4 months. I think that is successful considering I started at 244. My percentage of weight loss is better, according to my doctor, than many at my same place. This is what has worked for me, will it work for you, I have no idea, maybe, maybe not.   I refuse to judge people- whatever way you find success I say AWESOME- keep it up. Also, share what made you a success- some will find your way works for them, some will find my way works. We are all different and if we reap different success ideas from people we can build our own success plan.   Also, if you are having a bad day and need to whine or b#@$#, or complain do it. I am willing to listen because unless you are lying to yourself or unless you are on drugs you occasionally have a bad day and need to vent to someone. While I am being successful there are days when I get down in the dumps and worry or stress and I NEED people to be understanding instead of saying shut the h@@@ up and either do what your suppose to or not. While yes, I need to stick to my success plan I also need compassion and not judgement.   Now if you are complaining every day that the band is not working and you are downing milkshakes like water then you don't have anyone to blame, but yourself. And you need to be told that.   This site has been both positive and negitive in my life- I have found support and also found judgement. Sometimes I seek advise or hope that some will comment to something I have said and I get nothing and yes I feel ignored when there are others out there with their band buddies who get lots of comments and support. However, is that just me feeling due to my self impression that people are excluding me.   I must learn to be my judge and advocate and cheerleader. I need to look at myself realistically and kick myself in the butt when I need it and also give myself a pat on the back when I deserve it.   Today I am choosing to not look to others for affirmation or pats on the back, but look to myself. I must learn to find joy in my success and find answers in my failures.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

My New Little Girl

This is my new doggie, Molly. She is a Shephard Corgi mix. She joins our 11 year old Greyhound, 11 year old Bengal Cat, and a 4 year old Bengal Cat. All are rescues! Now our fur family is complete- 2 of each.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Wonderful Weekend

This weekend was a dozy!   First off Thursday night we brought home a new addition to our family- Molly a 1 year old Corgi/Shepard mix. She is a little bundle of energy and cute as a button. We already have an 11 year old Greyhound that is the best dog on the planet (perfectly behaved!) and two bengal cats, one 11 and one 4. The Greyhouse has asserted her alpha dog status and as has the older cat. The younger cat has gone into hiding whenever the little terror is out.   Saturday morning I got up early and went shopping with my BFF who had gastric bypass 3 years ago. She understand the difficulty of being big and then losing. She help me pick out clothes and I went into the dreaded dressing room. WOW- a pair of 16 pants (not 16 W, but 16 ladies) slid on with not problem and buttoned!! A large sweater fit perfectly in ladies. What a difference wearing clothes that fit make - I felt better and looked better. I went home and put on my new size 16 jeans with my new sweater and by new boots and walked into my hubby's office- he loved it. We went out that night with friends and I felt awesome struting around the mall. Size 16 isn't small, but it's better than the 20's and 18's I was wearing.   Sunday we decided to take our new baby, Molly, and Chloe for a walk. Well, it was more Molly walking us. To be just 30 lbs she can pull 200 lbs like it's nothing. My hubs and I had to take turns dealing with her. Our Greyhound was her usual pefect self- walking right be side you being good. We walked 5.5 miles and the little one never stopped pulling. My arms are sore from holding her back. When we got home my husband, myself and Chloe fell out in the floor and Molly went for the toy box to play. I have a feeling she is my new work out plan. On the down side, she had caused me to fall Saturday night, I wasn't in pain then nor Sunday morning, but after the 5.5 mile walk my knee was killing me and today it still hurts bad. May not be going for a long walk today.   For the most part it was a great weekend. My weight hit 202.0, so I should see 201 by next weekend. I may just make my goal of 199 by Thanksgiving!!

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Choices

This last month has been a wild ride.   I started off with the goal of working out daily and eating no more than 1200 calories a day no matter what. The first two weeks I did well and stuck to it even though the scales really didn't move much.   Then my grandmother passed away. Not only was I faced with lots of emotion (we were extremely close- she was my friend as well as grandma) and tons of food that wasn't the best foods for me. Being that I was away from home for 5 days in the deep country- finding better food options really weren't possible. I attempted to make the best choices of what I had, but still felt like I was going way over my 1200 allowed calories even though I wasn't counting (no access to my apps).   When I returned home from the services, I had a sore throat which balloned into a horrible head cold and then broncitis.   So 2 weeks of no excercise and not eating the best in the world, but drinking water and SF hot tea like crazy. I thought for sure that when I went in for my fill my weight would be up and they wouldn't give me a fill. Low and behold - I had the best month since month 1. I lost 8 lbs!   My weight is at 202, just 3 lbs from my first major goal- onederland! I did get another fill and an agressive one at that. My doctor is super excited and said for where I started most patients don't hit this point until month 6-8, so she is very happy.   Maybe I could increase my weight loss more by cutting out carbs and such, but what I am doing now is sustainable. I am still eating the foods I love (pizza and pasta's) just eating far less of it than I did at one point. I use to think my metabolism was really low because I didn't eat that much so it had to be screwed up for me to weight that much- well I was in denial. I was gorging at times. Food consumed my life rather than fueling it. That has changed - I eat what I like, I am just mindful about how much and how bad it is.   I choose to make better choices and that has made all the difference!!

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Fear Of Shopping

I don't know if any of you have had this, but I just realized I am scared to go out shopping for new clothes.   I had surgery in June and have lost 41 lbs, I feel good and many of my clothes are way to big, but some fit really great now. I have gotten to the point I only have 1 pair of jean that don't fall off and I need to go shopping, but I am scared. I have never had a problem going out in public or shopping before- I love to go out and about.   What scares me is trying on clothes. I know some of my clothes I have had to take to good will, but others still fit well. I am scared I will go pick up a pair of jeans and go try them on and they won't fit. I haven't purchased jeans in 2 years. I am scared the ones I had stretched and I will find I am not down as many sizes as I would like to be and that it will discourage me. When I had surgery I had gotten to the point that all the clothes in my closet were getting snug and I refused to go up a size. It's such a mental thing. I want some new things, but I HATE trying on clothes.   I know I am smaller, my husband tells me everyday that I am doing great and he is loving my new hour glass shape minus the bumps and lumps. But I still have a long ways to go. 41 lbs down, but 60 plus to go to be at goal. It's not that I am afraid I'm not going to get there, it's just that I don't want to shop yet and see myself in those 360 mirrors. I know I have to, it's getting cold and I must get some long pants that don't sag.   Hopefully, I will get the courage this weekend to make the trek.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

In A Funk

My weight is still going down, it was up this weekend a bit, but I was taking a lot of cold meds and drinking liquids constantly. This morning I was back down to my 203. I know I am doing well and the weight is still trending down. Up until the last couple weeks I was an avid calorie counter and exercised 3-5 days a week. Since my Grandmother passed away on the 17th and life has been crazy with the services, family from other states visiting and then my catching a killer cold that lead to Bronchitis, I have been in a funk and totally not into counting calories and can't work out because of the bronchits (can barely breath).   Being like this scares me. I am afraid that if I become lax now my weight will go back up and I will lose what I have worked so hard for. Yeah, I know my Grandma wouldn't want me to do that. But, it's not just losing her it's everything that has happened in the last 2 weeks. I am exhausted all I want to do is sleep. I don't believe I am depressed (already on Paxil) I think it's just the being sick and not getting enough oxygen from clogged airways. I can't afford to miss work so I am working every day and going home to the couch. I am eating basically whatever is fast and easy to fix because I am to tired to do much else.   I gotta get out of this, I want don't want to fail myself or my band.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Alternate Reality

I almost feel like I have been living in an alternate reality since I began my journey in May. Once I decided I wanted to have lapband surgery I jumped in with both feet and committed myself to doing it. I got a doctors appointment, set up all the pre-op appointments, got scheduled for sugery and had it done June 22nd.   Since surgery I have been busy with work and home stuff and then my Grandmother passed away. I feel like time has flown by. I thought I did terrible when my Grandmother died because I ate food that I don't normally eat (fried chicken), granted I didn't eat 3 pieces like I would have at one time, I ate one and didn't eat desert because my band wouldn't allow me to over eat. I still figured I had gained a couple of pounds over that weekend. The day before I left to go up to meet with the family I was 206 that was on a Wed. I returned home on the next week and on Wed of the next week I was at 203 - WOW- I didn't gain I lost! The only thing I can figure is I was drinking water all the time, rather than snacking I was walking around with a cup of water in my hand so I drank that instead of picking at the endless amount of food.   I can't believe I have lost 40 lbs in 4 months. In 4 months life has changed a lot. I am eating differently, I am feeling better, I am more focused, I wear smaller clothes, I think differently- I could go on. I know with out surgery I would likely be sitting about 250-260 right now and miserable, instead I am close to Onederland and feeling good. Even though I lost a dear loved one, I am handling it better because of the band. I was down for a little me and ate some things I shouldn't have, but I got back on the wagon, started counting calories again and moving forward.   I feel like fat clouded my life for years- it put my mind in a haze and I am coming out now. I hope my drive and clear mind continue and I can get to my goal of losing 100 lbs or a little more I want to know what life is like on the other side- the healthy side.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Death And Food

I am 100% Southern Girl. Being that I was born, raised and still live in the south, certain things are a given.   My Grandmother passed away last Wed night at 88 years old. She was a wonderfully awesoem little lady that was not only Grandma, but one of my best friends. I spent many hours with her through the years and loved her dearly. On Thursday I went to my mother's and was there through Monday morning. Neighbors, friends, family and church family brought tons of food. Bringing food to the those who just lost a loved one is a huge part of southern culture as is the large amount of fried chicken we had. A healthy food was hard to come by.   My parents live in the middle of no where, so going to pick something better up wasn't really an option. So I made the best of what I had trying to make good choices. Well, I learned reheated chicken and my lapband do not mix. I had a horrible stuck episode. The pain was horrible after about 20 min I finally got it up and banded chicken from my diet for sometime to come. This took place Saturday and since I fear eating anything because anything with much consistancy causes pressure. Water and liquid goes down fine as does cereal and yogurt, but anything else causes pressure.   Due to the slim pickins of healthy foods I have gained 2 lbs. This is the only gain in weight I have had in the 4 months since surgery. Part of me, the depressed down part, wants to say forget it eat what I want and whatever goes down easy and the other part says jump back on the horse and get back to eating right and that 2 lbs will come off.   It is easier to stick to what we are suppose to do when thing are going ok, but hit a bumpy patch and it's hard to stick to it. I know that I must get back on the horse or I will gain back every one of the 40 I lost and I do not want to do that. It is just hard.   I am so tired and emotionally exhauseted I am having a hard time doing what I know I need to. Right now I just want to sleep. I am back at work and have done ok with eating today (soft only) and I think I will just have a scrambled egg for dinner so my calorie count is fine or even low for the day.   Any one have some encouragement to get me back on the horse? I need a swift kick in the butt- CG come one girl I know you got something !!

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Compairsons

It is in our human nature to compare one thing to the other. We do it from the time we are kids- remember with siblings- he got more than me thing. We start compairing early.   By the time we reach school age we are compairing clothes, looks, ect with our classmates. And you always hear he's/she's not as cute as xyz. Then we begin compairing ourselves to others- her hair is prettier than mine, she has more friends than me, she has nicer clothes, ect. Our self esteems are molded some what by these compairsons.   I know for certian mine were. I have always felt like the ugly duckling. I have been large since 5 years old. In school I was picked on and it got worse in middle school. I hated being fat, but all that hate just drove me to the nearest donut, which intern made me fater.   Now that I am taking control of my life and have had lapband and am losing weight, the compairsons do not end. Chances are all of us have compared our self to another member of this forum- either boy I am glad I am not them they aren't losing much weight- or - it's not fair she is losing more weight than me. It's just in our nature.   I have compared myself to others several times and gotten down and out. Some people are really rocking it.   I talked to my nutritionist about this and she had some great throughts. 1- Body weight percentage has to been taken into account- those with more to lose will lose quicker. 2- Life style - some people have jobs that are more active than others and we can't control that- most of us need to work and have to do what we do. Some people can't due to health reason work out where others can. 3- Muscle mass- some people scale wise appear to not be losing, but are losing fat because they are working out and building muscle that weighes more than fat- this is a great thing because the more muscle you have the more fat your burn. 4- responsiblity- it is sometimes our own fault when we aren't losing- we CHOOSE to eat high calorie foods that just slide down, we CHOOSE not to be active, we CHOOSE not to follow doctors orders   This conversation with my nutritionist made me feel better. She said that when I compair myself to another person I need to look at these things. If I am doing everything I am suppose to do then I have no need to belittle myself. The bottom line is at the end of each month the scale trend in going down, therefore I am successful for me!   I hope that I can stop compairing myself to others, but if I happen to I will take these things into account before I let the bad thoughts drive me to a mouth full of krispy creme.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Where'd My Second Chin Go?

I just looked at myself in the mirror- really looked at myself. I realized my face is much smaller as is my neck and my double chin has disappeared. My husband keeps telling me I am looking great, but I just fail to see it. I know I am smaller because the scales and my clothes show it, but when I look in the mirror I still feel large.   Will I ever be able to let go of being the fat gir? Will I ever feel like I am small enough? I am 5'2 and to start with I want to be around 170, but now I have changed that to 135 ish. But, will that be enough once I reach it. I am not sure how I will feel at that point and I know I should worry about, but it's a thought in my head.   I love the fact that I am 38 lbs smaller than when I began- even though it's taken 4 months to get there. It feels slow, but my average is 8 lbs a month which isn't bad.   I wish I had a magic mirror that could show me what I will look like in a year. But would that motivate me to continue or would it allow me to become complacent and stop being so tight with myself.   I don't think any of us have the answers to all these questions, we are all just living our own banded life each day- which varies from person to person.   For today I am happy to look at my smiling face in the mirror and now see a second chin or my eye lids dropping down - my face is tighter and cuter and for today that is going to be my joy.   Onward and downward in our case! LOL!!

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Banded life can be some what of a roller coaster ride. We all get upset when someone says we took the easy way out, I'd like to see them try it! It's true you never understand until you walk a mile in there shoes. At almost 4 months out I have walked several of those miles and not all have been easy.   For a week after surgery I though oh, heck what did I do. I felt like crap, I hurt, I was hungry, I was miserable. Then as the healing got going I started to feel better. Then I started to see results- weight loss- and it made it all worth it.   I have had 4 fills now and know I am getting tighter. To begin with I was just watching my calories and staying below 1200 even if I felt hungry. Now the hunger is less of a problem except certain times of day. I am able to drink more and get my protein in, plus exercise.   Since my last fill I experieced the dreaded "STUCK" moment. Before the food even got to my band I knew I had screwed up- I swallowed before I had chewed enough - MISTAKE. Lets just say that certainly gave me a good reminder to CHEW!! Most bandsters have experienced this moment and it's the ugly one- you feel like your chest will explode. You want to puke, but you can't, you want to wash it down, but you can't. You are almost foaming at the mouth with spit- not pretty or fun.   Some foods I use to love, now just don't love me. Breadsticks for instance - I LOVED them- now I just can't do it without putting my band at risk. I don't know about you, but I don't really enjoy surgery and the thought of having to have my band fixed because I ate the wrong things and made it slip just isn't going to happen. That breadstick doesn't taste that good. Most other things I can still eat, but it's a question of should I. Things like ice cream and cheese cake - while my band will allow them down, my calorie count really doesn't. Does this mean I will never partake in these again, probally not. I think I will allow myself one SMALL slice of cheese cake once a year on my wedding anniversary because that is what we had for our wedding cake. However, I may do an hour on the elliptical to compensate.   As most people who have been banded figure out quickly, weight lose can be painfully slow at times. This makes it easy to get discouraged, but when you look at the big picture, when was the last time you lost 35 lbs in 3 months.   The band doesn't do it all for me. I still must choose the right foods - healthy. I must choose not to eat or drink empty calories. For me I choose to count calories, which has helped me a lot. This helps me make sure I don't go over and that I am staying in the "lose" zone. I think my counting calories with myfitnesspal will help me with my long term success. With counting I must be accountable each day not just when I get on a scale.   The Good part of the band is-- I am losing weight, I am not crazy hungry, I feel good, I am looking better, I am becoming the me I always wanted to be! For the 1st time in my over weight life I have hope and confidence that this weight will come off and I will one day be a healthy weight. So to be the bad and ugly times are far out weighed by the Good!!

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

The Plan

I am one of these planner folks and numbers people. It annoys the crap out of some, but that is how I am wired and work the best.   These days I plan my day out each morning. M-F I eat my Special K breakfast at 5:30 am, I get ready for work - pack my lunch and snack. Once I get to work and get settled in, I normally have a few min that I can get on MyFitnessPal and log breakfast, snack, lunch and what I plan to fix for dinner. This way I know exactly how many calories I am PLANNING to take in that day. If we are going to have something like pizza that night I PLAN that in and also PLAN in a workout.   If I plan out my day like this I am much more likely to stick to it than if I just take it as it comes. I am like this in everything. At work I have a color coordinated calendar and my box of color highlighters- People think I'm nuts but it works for me.   I believe that we all must have some sort of a plan in order to be succesful, if we "fly by the seat of our pants" we often end up somewhere we don't want to be.   Just like when going to the market. I sit down before going to the grocery and write out everything I need (I preplan meals for the coming week). When I go to the store I don't allow myself to browse, I get what is on the list and keep truckin. This prevents me from buy those little extras that will derail me and it also saves time so when I get home I can work out.   We plan vacations, meetings, appointments, ect to make sure we get in what we need, with the band it's no different. I you make a plan and post it- for me it's in my handy dandy smart phone (the hubs and I are total tech geeks), but some may stick it on the fridge; either way if you have a plan in place you are more likely to stick to it and be succesful because we hopefully don't plan for failure.   So today I encourage to make a plan and stick to it.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

A Healthy Kinda Feeling

Despite my current cold I seem to have I am feeling healthy. I am not sure if it's the weight loss, my state of mind, the vitamins I am on or what, but I am looking and feeling healthier.   I've lost 37 lbs in 3.5 months I am working out more, taking vitamins and eating better.   My hair is shiny and soft - my curls are fluffy and pretty. My skin is clearning up, obviously I am smaller because I am wearing smaller clothes. My nails look healthier. All in all I look different not just in size. It's nice to start feeling better about myself again.   I am only about half way to my goal, but seeing these signs of health are motivating. I want to be healthy and I would like to be pretty to.   I have always been the big girl who wanted to fade into the back ground in my personal life, in work I am more of a go getter. I do a lot of traning and talking in front of large groups and that doesn't bother me because I am talking about something I know well. Now work is changing we are switching up databases so I must learn an entire new system and train my staff on it. While I am nervous, I am always up for a challenge at work, so why was I so worried about the challenge in my personal life.   This weightloss is a challange. I am having to say no to things I would have once said yes to. I am having to choose to eat better things and less of it. I have finally gotten it through my thick skull that a calorie is a calorie no matter if it's from salad or steak.   I am becoming more of a balanced person, I feel accountable and in control of my work life and my personal life and what a great feeling that is. There are days and even weeks where I get discouraged and down, but I have great friends and family who are ready to pick me up and cheer me foward until I can get the wind back in my sail again.   Thanks to those of you out there who have been the wind in my sail a few times when I've been down. I hope I can return the favor one day.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Personal Journey

I have learned that the weight loss journey is very personal. Yes, we can glean support and some answers from people on this sight, but what works for them may not be for you.   Each of us has our own issues with food that lead to us becoming obese and each must deal with those issues inside of us. That is so hard, especially if those issues have been there for many years.   We can go through all the psych evals in the world, but nothing will prepare us for the journey - the ups and downs. It's human nature to compare ourselves to others, so then the question and frustration start - well so and so lost dat-ta-dat in 3 months why haven't I.   Weight loss is dependant on so many things and I have studied and googled every thing I can to learn. Basically what I have learn is what I have always known in order to lose weight I must have a calorie deficit. That being said I never really knew how many calories I needed a day. Through research I found that you need to know your BMR- they amount of calories you would burn if you just stayed in the bed all day long. I always make sure my calories are below my BMR. But because the BMR is based on your height, age, weight each persons will be different.   So I have started to look more at me, not everyone else. I have stopped compairing myself with others. I look to me, what me I do, what must KIM do to succeed. I am the only one who can be successful for me, I must take responsiblity for my actions or lack there of. If I fail, I fail- not my doctor, not this site, not my nutritionist, but me because I failed to take responsibility for me.   So today I take resposibility for myself and I will be accountable for what I do or don't do. I will celebrate my success and I will look at my failures as a learning tool.   Support is awesome, but we must look at ourselves and into ourselves to make the changes we must to be succesful on this journey!   I wish you success on your Journey and I hope that I can help you on your road.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Fall Cravings

I love this time of year. The leaves changing, the cooler temps, fresh mountain apples, warm cider....I could go on and on. This time of year I use to do a lot of cooking- apple pie and cakes, chili- warm comfort foods. Not to mention the holidays are coming which mean lots of cooking.   When the temps begin to drop I seem to start craving. I am counting my calories to make sure I don't go nuts and make sure I am getting my protein. I fear this time of year will be the most difficult due to the cravings. I love cooking and baking, but I don't want to do it to much. The closest family we have is over an hour away and honestly we don't don't have a ton for friends in the area (only been in Raleigh for 3 years). We have a few good friends that I will bake and give things to, but I feel guilty now doing that. All these friends at least one in the couple has weight issues and I don't want to make their health worse so I just don't bake. On occassion I will bake something and send it with my hubs to work- the guys he works with love to eat and can afford to.   I have found some healthy recipes for chili which I totally plan to try, but I have to say I will miss my corn bread to go along with it.   For those long time banders what are some go to comfort foods that won't ruin your calories intake for the day? I not only want to change my eating habits, but the foods I share with family and friends I want to be tasty and healthy so maybe it will rub off on them.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

What?why?how?

On Tuesday this week I went to my nutritionist and I had lost a total of 35 lbs since the 1st time I saw her. She went over my food journal and calorie counts. Gave me some pointers, but all in all said I was doing wonderful and she couldn't have hoped for a better turn out. Needless to say I was pleased and happy.   So today is Thursday of the same week and I had a fill. So I wasn't worried when I was weight. WTH, I am up 3 lbs since Tuesday. WHAT??? My calorie counts have been well below my BMR- right about 1200. It's not my time of the month. So how in the heck I am up 3lbs in two days.   I know I shouldn't be freaked out because out bodies fluctuate day to day, but geez!! I had finally hit 209 - single digit 200's- only 9 more lbs till my 1st major goal. But now I am up. I feel defeated. Mind you I didn't and won't do what I use to do, which is go out and binge. I don't have a desire to do that anymore, I want to do the opposite, not eat anything, but that isn't healthy either.   My hubs says shake it off I will be back down by the weekend, but I don't feel confindent. I track each morsel that enters my mouth and I work out. I am far more active now than I have been in years and I sleep better, so what in the world.   I know it's only 3 lbs I need to chill out. But I needed to vent. I am back in my office now and I have no one to talk to about how I am feeling. I am on liquids for the remainder of the day so maybe that will help.   Any suggestions for my bander friends out there?

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Notice Me, Please!

I am 3 months post op and have lost 35 lbs, which I feel is good. All my clothes feel looser and I have had to stop wearing some. I am actually wearing an old pair of 16's. When I look in the mirror I see a difference in my face. I know I am smaller, but........   No one seems to notice the missing 35 lbs. I am one of these nutty folks who likes some pats on the back to motivate me to continue. I work for the school system, so when staff returned I was down 20 lbs, no one said anything, then I after 35 no one still says hey you are losing weight. There are only 2 co-workers who ever tell me they can see a difference, but they both know about the surgery so they are looking for it. My husband and my mom both say they see it, but they are biased.   I know I should just be happy knowing I have lost the weight, but geez what is it going to take me loosing 100 for people to notice. I want to look good, to be pretty. To me I am still the hungry hippo I've always been. I have been obese since I was 6, so I don't know what it's like to be the cute, pretty girl. I just want some props, someone to notice the hard work. I still have a long way to go to reach goal, and I hope by then I can stop viewing myself as the big girl.   I don't want tons of praise, but just a pat on the back or hey girl you are looking good. I guess I look for other peoples view of me to much, but that is just the way I am.   Does anyone else feel like this?

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

1St Time Being Sick Since Banded

I guess it's the weather here in NC, but today I have a sore throat, head ache and sneezing. Totally sucks! I feel nauseous from the sinus drainage. On the plus side it makes me not want to eat and the coughing is giving my abs an awesome workout.   How does one handle nausea and the band?   I have always been a person who tosses her cookies easily. After surgery I got sick 4 times before it was controlled and I haven't had anything since. However, now I find myself nauseated and worried about getting sick and hurting my band.   Any advice?

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Living In A Lapband State Of Mind

I have heard people call lapband life numerous things - diet, life style change, easy, hard, ect. I think most people who have had lapband would say lapband is not easy, but is it horrible NO! For me this isn't a diet and not exactly a life style change it is a change in state of mind.   Before I never really thought about what I was putting in my mouth. My only thought was this is going to taste good or I want it. Now I think about how good or bad what I am eating is for me and am I hungry. Before it was never really about being hungry, I didn't realize that until now, it was about avalibility and desire. As a kid I grew up on a farm when we went in for lunch we were told to clean our plate because we wouldn't have food avalible later so you ate it no matter if you were hungry or not. Maybe that was where my food issues began, maybe not, regardless the issue began. Now I must change my state of mind.   I am the worlds best at excuses and justification. I can argue forever on why I can't exercise tonight or justify why I deserve a cupcake. However, I must switch that up. I need to justify why I need to exercise and make excuses why I can't eat that cupcake. Thank the Lord, I have an amazing support system in my husband. When I want to make excuses to not exercise he kicks my butt in gear because he loves me and wants me to be successful, for me. I am changing my state of mind where food and excercise come in.   While I am 31 I am an old fashion southern girl and life always revolved around food and sweet tea. I have to change that state of mind - no more fried chicken, no more sugar sweet tea. That doesn't mean I won't ever have it again, but it will not be on the regular rotation that is was at one time.   For years I have worked where you eat quick or you may not eat. I learned to eat quickly. Now my band has taught me to eat slow, if I don't it hurts. I chew, chew, chew instead of swollowing whole. My state of mind has changed.   Since June 22nd when I received my band my whole state of mind has changed. I always wanted to be sucessful with this, but worried I wouldn't be because of my old state of mind. Now that my state of mind has changed and continues to evolve the more I become sure that I will be successful, not because my weight is going down, not because I opted to diet, not because I work out but because of my state of mind.   I am proud of my weightloss yes, but I am more proud of the change of my state of mind because I developed my old ways over 31 years, but now I am evolving and my state of mind changing for the healthier. I completely feel better, not just physcially, but mentally and emotionally to. It's not just the confindence that I have now, but the the clear head, the lower stress, the comfort. I feel better because I am not over eating and miserable after a meal.   The Lapband State of Mind is pretty darn good!! Hope you will join me in the Lapband State of Mind

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

The Amazing Pita Pocket

I recently purchase a pack of whole wheat pita pockets, they are round and if you slice them in half they make a little pocket. Once half is less calories than a slice of whole what toast and taste great.   I have been making myself and my hubs sandwiches with these. My hubs like to put laughing cow chipolte cheese and ham in one and heat heat for a hot ham and cheese - low cal and high protein. I had an peanut butter and banana pita - got my protein and my fruit in. The pitas are so thin, it gives you just enough bread to feel like it's a sandwich, but not so much it gets stuck.   These pita's are great for stuffing with deli slices and cheese, chicken or tuna salad, PB and banana or even a scrabled egg and cheese for morning breakfast. We are loving these things- if you have tried them but like a sandwhich or need an easy holder for chicken or tuna salad while you are on the go you gotta try them.   What lapband friendly items have you found that are awesome?

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Grocery Bill Before And After

I thought with me eating much less my grocery bill would go down, but it hasn't, but it hasn't gone up either. Instead of buying crap (little debbie / french fries) I buy healthy things - fruit and veggies. I no longer buy any soft drinks, just crystal light flavor packs for water.   I am married so I do have to buy for the hubs, but while he isn't banded he opted to adopted the banded life. He eats the same healthy foods I do just in a large quantity, but hey that is a step. We have opted to oust junk foods all together. So I no longer go down the junk isles. I use to buy a lb of sugar monthly, I have purchased one in 4 months now - don't use it any more.   I use to buy hamburger, chicken and pork. Now I still buy chicken, but opt for ground turkey instead of beef and still do a little pork sometimes and a lot more fish. We also use eggs instead of meat - I made an awesome veggie quiche last night and it gave us dinner last night and breaksfast for today and tomorrow- that is the way to stretch a buck. I have learned that Mrs. Dash makes fish better grilled and broiled than it was when we ate it fried.   So while my bill hasn't gone down, I feel like the quality of food I purchase is better and I like that. Fresh veggies and fruit are great. My hubs has given up high cal yogurt for apple slices and likes it better. So I don't mind that the bill hasn't gone down quality means more than quantity so that is the aim these days.   What has being banded done for your grocery bill?

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Gotta Get Back With It....

My life has been a roller coaster since April. My brother had a stroke at 44 that gave me the push to have lapband. I had surgery in June. My Grandmother is on hospice and on her death bed and last night my brother had a heart attack. I have been trying to work this week since school just went back I don't want to take off, but trying to access from a distance if I need to go home and be with my mom with my grandmother getting worse. I was planning on getting up this morning and heading up for the weekend, but my mom called early to tell me my brother had a heart attack during the night and was in Duke in Cardiac ICU. So instead of heading to mom's I headed the 40 min to Duke Hospital to see my brother.   It is so hard to eat well and excercise when being down and being on the go. I spent the day at Duke and in morning I plan to drive up to my parents (1.5 hours away) to check on Grams and mom since my brother seems stable. I am to tired and down to want to work out and I want to go back to my comfort foods, but I know I can't. I ate way to many calories yesterday and today and feel bloated and like crap - I have got to get back into the grove tomorrow. The first of the week I was doing great and then all the "stuff" started, it time to get it back on it.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

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