I almost feel like I have been living in an alternate reality since I began my journey in May. Once I decided I wanted to have lapband surgery I jumped in with both feet and committed myself to doing it. I got a doctors appointment, set up all the pre-op appointments, got scheduled for sugery and had it done June 22nd.

Since surgery I have been busy with work and home stuff and then my Grandmother passed away. I feel like time has flown by. I thought I did terrible when my Grandmother died because I ate food that I don't normally eat (fried chicken), granted I didn't eat 3 pieces like I would have at one time, I ate one and didn't eat desert because my band wouldn't allow me to over eat. I still figured I had gained a couple of pounds over that weekend. The day before I left to go up to meet with the family I was 206 that was on a Wed. I returned home on the next week and on Wed of the next week I was at 203 - WOW- I didn't gain I lost! The only thing I can figure is I was drinking water all the time, rather than snacking I was walking around with a cup of water in my hand so I drank that instead of picking at the endless amount of food.

I can't believe I have lost 40 lbs in 4 months. In 4 months life has changed a lot. I am eating differently, I am feeling better, I am more focused, I wear smaller clothes, I think differently- I could go on. I know with out surgery I would likely be sitting about 250-260 right now and miserable, instead I am close to Onederland and feeling good. Even though I lost a dear loved one, I am handling it better because of the band. I was down for a little me and ate some things I shouldn't have, but I got back on the wagon, started counting calories again and moving forward.

I feel like fat clouded my life for years- it put my mind in a haze and I am coming out now. I hope my drive and clear mind continue and I can get to my goal of losing 100 lbs or a little more I want to know what life is like on the other side- the healthy side.