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Caribear's Blog

A blog by Caribear in General

  • Entries

    21

  • Comments

    57

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    11143

About this blog

Fibromyalgia and the (prospective) Bandster

Entries in this blog

Please, Please Read This!!

The story you are about to read may be hard to believe. It is the kind of story that would occasionally make it into my email inbox, and I would scan it briefly before clicking delete and muttering about how this kind of junk gets past my spam filter. If it hadn't happened to me, I wouldn't believe it. But it did happen to me, and I pray that you read this and consider what it says.   A few weeks ago, I was watching my favorite Christian television station. The show was a talk show-type discus

Confession Of A Mad Fat Woman

We all have different triggers that cause us to overeat. For some people, it's celebrations. For others, it's stress. Or boredom. But for me it is depression, and everything that entails.   I would regularly just get into a "funk" where I had super negative thoughts. I got very depressed, and sometimes really angry. I would pout and feel bad about myself, and bad for myself, and eventually end up deciding that nobody cared. And if nobody else cared, I didn't care either. And inevitably, this w

Super Busy, And The Confounding Question

Hi all, long time no blog.   Sorry it's been so long, things have been super busy and drama-filled here at home. My boyfriend and his dad have been renovating the business they just bought, so he's been gone all day, every day since the beginning of this month. Then he comes home and works on the computer until I don't know when. He's been under so much stress that it's starting to become a problem for all of us. They've been working frantically to try and open by this weekend, St. Patrick's

Eating Stuff I Don't Like And Positive Changes In Our Household!

I've been doing a lot of thinking about one particular habit that dies awfully hard - eating what's on your plate whether you like it or not. I know that there are times when we should choose to eat certain things because they are good for us, but if they're bad for our health and we don't like them, why should we be eating them? And by we, I mean me. Does anybody else do this, or is it just me?   I really started to think about this a few weeks ago at dinner. Every Wednesday, the church down

Physician Supervised Diet: Month 2

I had my second of nine supervised diet visits today. I wanted to go in anyway because I have been having trouble with my feet swelling. Not just regular swelling, but the kind of swelling that makes the skin hurt because it is being pulled so tight. I spent almost all day on the couch Saturday because my feet were so swollen and painful that I could hardly walk. So today I went in with my food and exercise logs to get my visit done and over with.   I got on the scale without taking off my sho

Godly Love

I have heard many people on this board getting so upset about weight gain and lack of weight loss. And don't get me wrong, I completely understand. I have gotten on the scale myself and had that sinking feeling in my stomach when I saw the number. I have wanted to scream and cry when I saw the number go up. Trust me, I understand. But there is something that I was missing, and that was Godly love.   I accepted Jesus into my heart when I was four years old. I don't remember if I even understood

From: Something I Just Had To Share

Hi all! I am subscribed to an email newsletter called Godvine. Every weekday they send me an email with a verse, several video clips, and a story. This story was in the letter from yesterday, 2/3. It really warmed my heart, so I had to share it with you all.   "Get Off The Scale   Whether weight is a 'problem' in your life or it's some other single factor, this can apply to everyone. Never forget it!   You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and succes

Having A Rough Time

It's times like these past few days that make me question whether I can actually do this or not.   The past several days have been really rough. Thursday through Sunday were high pain days, the kind of days where I really didn't want to do anything but curl up on the couch and cry. I have tramadol to take for the pain, so I went ahead and took it for the last two days. Then Sunday I woke up with a migraine so bad that I couldn't keep anything down, including water. After throwing up for six ho

Food Commercials

Is it just me, or are more and more food commercials starting to look more like food porn? Granted, I am probably a little bit more sensitive today because of the leftover chocolate birthday cake in the refrigerator that I have successfully been avoiding all day. But really, today's food commercials are getting a little out of hand. It seems like the two main types that are airing now are the "look how happy you can make your family and yourself by eating our food" commercials, and the "food por

Exercise, And I Think My Mom Is Finally On Board!

Yesterday Dr. Oz did another show about WLS. This one was about gastric bypass, and whether it should be available to more people (mainly diabetics.) I just happened to come across it, and my mom just happened to be over visiting me. Like I mentioned before, my mom has been very anti-WLS (for me anyway) because of what she saw on the Dr. Oz show about lap band. I was going to change the channel, but she said that she had wanted to watch it and asked me to leave it on.   We watched together in

"the Rules That Made Me Fat" Youtube Video

I have to say that I'm an information junkie. If I'm interested in something, especially if it involves making a major life decision, I have to research the heck out of it. I look for facts, opinions, and viewpoints from both ends of the spectrum. That's one of the major reasons why I love this forum so much - it has a little bit of everything in one place. But I have also been doing a lot of YouTube research. Reading someone's story is great, but there's something about actually seeing a person

Sorting Out The "hungers" And Fibro Is Kicking My You-Know-What...

Isn't it funny how our brain can cause us to think we feel things when we really don't? One of the hardest things I have been dealing with is trying to sort out when I am actually hungry and when I am not. Someone without food issues would probably think that this sounds really easy, but for someone like me who is trying to untangle food and emotions, it is far from simple.   For years I thought that whenever my stomach felt uncomfortable, it was hunger and I should eat. It has only been withi

My New Nutritionist And Yay For Small Victories!

At the advice of my doctor, I went to see a nutritionist this past Wednesday. Well I guess technically she's a "wellness nurse" but my doc called her a nutritionist, and that's basically what she does. I was nervous because I didn't know what to expect. I guess all these years of being treated as sub-human by health professionals because of my weight has really taken a toll on me. But I was pleasantly surprised to find that she was very nice, supportive, and upbeat. Almost a little too upbeat. I

Physician Supervised Diet: Month 1

Today I went to my family doctor and started my first supervised diet visit. It went pretty well.   The nurse asked me some questions, updated their files, filled out some of my paperwork, and checked my vitals. When the doctor came in, he said that he has done quite a few of these supervised diets. His way of doing them is to have me journal all of my food, exercise five times a week for 30-45 minutes, and meet with a nutritionist to discuss the actual diet aspect. I told him that I have alre

Fears And Concerns

After thinking about it for a long time, I have decided to put all of my fears and concerns down here in writing, no matter how irrational or insignificant they may be. I like to imagine that a few years down the road I will come back here and read this and think "Oh, how silly I was for being afraid of that!" So, here goes...   I am afraid of being one of those unfortunate ones who doesn't lose a significant amount of weight with the band. I am afraid of dying on the table and leaving my fam

Informational Seminar And More Mom Issues

I had my informational seminar on Wednesday. My mom and boyfriend came along with me, which was awesome. The seminar was really interesting. One of the surgeons did the presentation, and he talked about some of the history of obesity and the reasons why it's so hard for us to lose weight. I did not know that eating only an extra 200 calories per day can add up to gaining 100 pounds in five years ( !!!). It was really eye-opening.   After he went through all of that, he started discussing all o

Small Changes And Big Responsibilities

Recently one of the lovely ladies on the forum suggested using appetizer flatware to eat with, because it is smaller than regular flatware, yet more dignified than eating with baby silverware. I agree, I would not be totally thrilled with having to eat all my meals off of a fork with a cartoon character on it. I combined that idea with another idea from another lovely lady, which was doing a "trial-run" of sorts with an imaginary band. (The people on this forum are so creative and so smart!) So

Surgery Vs. Faith

One of the most confusing and frustrating internal road blocks I have come across in regards to getting lap-band is how to reconcile my faith with the need to have this surgery done.   Within the past few years, I have re-committed myself to my faith and become saved for the second time in my life. Don't get me wrong, I won't beat anybody over the head with my Bible (lol) but I don't hesitate to tell anyone who will listen about God's love for them and Jesus' ultimate sacrifice. I think it's a

Dr. Oz Show Turned My Mom Off To Wls

OK, this entry is a little long-winded, but bear with me. I will get there eventually.   The day my rheumatologist first brought up the idea of bariatric surgery was a hard day for me. Not so much because of that particular appointment, but because of the one after it. I had to drive to Dayton, see my rheumatologist, waste several hours, then go to my first appointment with a pain management doctor. Dayton is quite a drive, and for me to come all the way home only to turn around and come back

My First Ever Blog

So how does one start a blog? I suppose I should just jump in...   I'm 27 years old, and I live in Ohio with my longtime boyfriend and our adorable three-year-old son. I am a licensed massage therapist, but my physical condition makes it near impossible for me to practice anymore, so mostly I am a mommy. My boyfriend is back and forth between driving a van for Amish construction crews and taking care of his grandfather, who was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Our son is adorable, very friendly

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