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Fears And Concerns

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Caribear

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After thinking about it for a long time, I have decided to put all of my fears and concerns down here in writing, no matter how irrational or insignificant they may be. I like to imagine that a few years down the road I will come back here and read this and think "Oh, how silly I was for being afraid of that!" So, here goes...

 

I am afraid of being one of those unfortunate ones who doesn't lose a significant amount of weight with the band.

I am afraid of dying on the table and leaving my family to pick up the pieces.

I am afraid of having too much excess skin after I lose the weight and having to battle the insurance company to have it removed.

I am afraid of the pain of post-op and recovering from surgery again.

I worry that even with the band, I will not be teaching my son to have a healthy relationship with food.

I am freaked out by the idea that I may become attractive to other men, and that I will not be able to deal with any attention that I might receive from them (that one takes a lot of bold-faced honesty to actually write down)

I worry that my band will slip or erode, and that I will have to have it removed or revised.

I am afraid that I will sabotage myself subconsciously and consistently "eat around the band."

I am afraid that my boyfriend will not know how to handle my weight loss and either leave or cheat.

I am afraid that I will have to struggle so hard to lose weight even with the band that I will give up and decide to be fat and happy vs. thin and miserable.

I am afraid that my fibromyalgia will get worse after I lose weight. (I have had several acquaintances with fibro and WLS tell me that this has happened to them)

I am afraid that my fibro will keep me from exercising and therefore cause me to gain all my weight back.

I am afraid that I will become so paranoid about gaining weight that I will become obsessive about tracking calories, and lose my joy.

I am afraid of having the surgery, losing all this weight, and still dying of a heart attack at 50.

I am afraid of being labeled as a "cheater" for having surgery instead of doing it the old fashioned way.

I am afraid of being under the magnifying glass when it comes to people who I choose to tell, and that they will constantly be watching me and waiting for me to mess up.

I am afraid of dealing with my bipolar grandmother once she finds out that I have had this done. She is super judgmental and can be very mean and thoughtless sometimes.

I am afraid that some other family members might start getting passive-aggressive when I start really losing weight, as if I were competition to them instead of just being happy for me.

I am afraid of losing my boobs. I know this is probably tmi, but they're already on the small side for my weight and I don't want to end up flat-chested.

I am afraid of losing my promise ring. It is already starting to get loose and I have only lost 10 pounds.

I am afraid of losing a bunch of weight, having my rings resized, then gaining back so much weight that they don't fit anymore.

I worry about becoming seriously depressed again after my surgery. I did with the last ones, and nobody told me beforehand that it was normal to get that way post-op.

I am afraid that I have already done too much damage to my body and that even after losing weight it won't heal.

I am afraid of being denied by my insurance company and not being able to have the surgery in the first place.

 

That's all I can think of at the moment. The rational part of me says that most of these are silly, and that the rest of them won't be as big a deal as I think they will. But in any case, I have them written down now so that I can look back at them in the future.

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None of these is silly! You are right with a lot of us who are going through this! A lot of those same things are what I worry about. I am afraid of judgement any way. Be it fat or thin. People are judgemental and it would suck to be them. This site is the best place to go for support! I think we understand each other most of the times.Keep up the good work and just know that what you are feeling is COMPLETELY normal!

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Never think that something you feel is irrational or insignificant. I have thought many of the same things that you have. My main fear, after having surgery, was that I would gain weight back. You know what? I did - put on 10 lbs after an unfill at Christmas 2010. It was like getting the first scratch or dent in your brand new car - you freak out for a minute and then think "Whew, glad that first one is over". I have hit the reset button and started doing the things I did when I was first banded - exercising and watching my liquid/mushy calories. The weight is coming back off.

A year from now, when you read back over your fears, you won't think they are silly - but you won't be as afraid of them. :-)

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Everyone feels these fears but you just have to decide if you think it will all be worth it...I admire you for knowing yourself and putting them down here!

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I agree with everyone here. It is not surprising that we all have many of the same fears. I hang on to this verse for dear life:

Phillipians 4-6

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Worry is unhealthy--concern is healthy..........

Be concerned sure, and study and investigate the options....but don't let fear hold you back......

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Here's a good old saying: Worring is like a rocking chair, you can do it as much as you want, but it won't get you anywhere! Good luck and stay positive! YOU CAN DO IT!! :) I have just started my journey as well...the head games you play with yourself will always be there I think - it's just how you manage through them that counts.

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Thanks everybody for the encouragement. I still know that this is the right decision for me, and I'm continuing on no matter how fearful I may be. Honestly I have more to fear if I don't do this than what I have written here.

@Godsgirl - that is one of my favorite verses! :)

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After being banded for 3+ years and now going through a rebanding surgery I can tell you that many of your concerns are very valid. So many people and things happen that are beyond your control but all you can do is take it all in and use the information to help yourself or completely throw some of it out and move on. I was surprised to find that the people who have always been thinner than me were worried that I would somehow be thinner than them and it bothered them - That's there problem not ours. THe ups and downs of the weight will happen and you will work through it. Your Fibro will get better and more manageble. Breast size doesn't really go down but back size does. Slippage and rebanding happens to some but it is easily dealt with and you move on. Worries and concerns are part of being an intelligent person and you seem very intelligent and thoughtful about things so you have to address your concerns and feel as comfortable about things as you can. I hope this is helpful and not hurtful. You can always message me if you want to talk. Good luck I'm sure you'll do great and just take one obsticle at a time. Lisa

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I am sure we have the same concerns going in. However: going back to my old way got me into BIGGER trouble than thoughtfully advancing toward the tool we need. I am almost 3 years ahead of you. Looking back is like a mirror... however now the ME looking back is strong and more healthy than I even imagined I could be. There was NO hope in where I came from. Look at my album and see how life has been gifted to me. I was 57 and felt 90. Now I am 60 and feel 30. Praying for you to have "peace like a river" going forward!

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