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About this blog

in order to truly find myself, i have to lose ...

Entries in this blog

 

training with Kari

i have a trainer at my gym. she is wonderfully fit and just makes me ill ...   i visit with her for a 1/2 hour every wednesday morning, today was no exception. she really worked me today - oh muh gawed ... she pushed me harder than she's ever pushed and i am already quite sore   i did get on the scale today and i am down another 2 pounds to 351.5. i have lost 51 pounds so far and just could not be much happier. my initial December 8th goal was a very aggressive 60 pounds. although i will not make that goal, i am very pleased with my changes so far. both weight-wise and attitude-wise. i know i've posted in previous entries how my mindset has completely transformed, but it really continues to amaze me that i am actually excited to go exercise and have taken a step class and i LOOK for classes at other gyms.. un freaking believable!! :omg:   my parents are coming to town in 2 days, i am getting nervous/excited. not sure if they will notice - if they notice will they say anything - if they say anything will they hound me every time they talk to me from now on "how much have you lost in the past 10 minutes??" ... **sigh**   ok ... gotta go.

losingjusme

losingjusme

 

happy tuesday

i am working from home today so i got to sleep in for a little bit. i did go on the treadmill today - another 36 minutes. i didnt burn as much as yesterday but it was about 430ish??   i had more 'pan-fried' (with a little olive oil) fish last night Mahi Mahi - only 90 cals in that piece of fish and it was pretty good.   so ... eat right, work my butt off ... i dropped a pound. 353.5   soooooooooo close ... i can taste it... heh - or not taste it ..   my challenge today will be working from home ... i have all my goodies here - lots of SF candy, SF pudding, etc... i just have to keep my goal in mind..... and think 1 more pound til 50 pounds .... wow.   ok, i really have to get to 'work' now so i can go to my step class at 5.

losingjusme

losingjusme

 

OMG ...

well apparently my body likes it when i eat right and exercise - go figure!!   i didnt have any SF candy Sat or Sun and i ate well (fish one night, pork the next) and didnt do much (if any) snacking.   i worked out Sunday morning - my step class - and yes, she did indeed kick my ass and i worked out this morning on the treadmill. i burned 400 cals in 30 mins ... that's a new high for me.   i am down to 354.5 - - a total of 48 pounds. :faint: this is just so amazing that every time i think about it i just want to start crying ... in a good way.:girl_hug:   i am almost at my 2 month 'bandiversary' ... we will take pictures on Thursday. i dont think it will be as drastic of a change as last month, but that's OK...   my dad and step mom are coming in for Syd's birthday this weekend ... they have no idea about the surgery or the weight loss. i've been hinting that i've been working out, though. we'll see if they notice.

losingjusme

losingjusme

 

EEEEEEEEEEKKK!!

yup ... i did in fact gain. i took a break from working out for thurs & fri (and didnt really do much on Wed either) and i did gain. **sigh** i think it is about 3 pounds but after i hit the 363 mark i quit going up... i know it is in the 363s, but nothing exact..   i was so disappointed today. i went to go to a step class at 915 and it wasnt the class that was listed. at 845 they have a REALLY difficult step class that involves going from one bench to another to another and i am not coordinated enuff to do that so i did my floor exercises and waited until 915 - well they just continued that regular step class .. not the one i went for ... grrrr ... so ticked. i mean that is fine if that what they want to do but they need to take off the published class and add the regular step class!! :straight   so i went on the treadmill for about 15 mins. during 95% of the time i was at an incline of 7 or higher ... 2 mins at a 10.5...   i can definitely tell a difference in a lot of things ... DH took my car and he always moves the seat straight up (i recline it b/c of my belly) ... well i went into it today and just slipped into it ... didnt have to recline the seat at all. 2 months ago i would not have made it in and today i had a little room to spare!! YAY!!   i am also having SO much more energy! after i went to work out, we went to breakfast and went to petsmart. i wanted to check out a store across the parking lot so **gasp** we walked there. it wasnt that far at all, but pre banding if there wasnt a parking space right next to the store, i would have DH drop me off at the entrance and go park.. now i'm the one saying this space is good (far away from the door). then we took Syd to see the ducks ... we stayed there and walked around for a bit then to Costco and walked the store. it was very nice.. :girl_hug:   but anyway, not too terribly surprised about my gain. i have been indulging (aka pigging out) on my sugar free caramel pecans MMMMMMMM ... so i need to limit those to one every several days - not 2 - 3 a day. they may be sugar free but not calorie free.. :hungry:   last night i made fish and green beans. it was pretty good, not ideal but good enuff. and it was less than 200 calories in the fish. we bought some orange roughy at costco and it is only 90 cals for a piece!!! yummmmm   going to another step class with my regular instructor tomorrow morning. it is at the other club so i know it is going to kick my ass, but thats a good thing.

losingjusme

losingjusme

 

no talking about weight here ...

well i went to work out tonight - my step class.   i always weigh more in the evening than in the morning ... always ... always... why the hell did i step on the scale this evening?   dammit! 4 fucking pounds .. .up - yeah up.   hopefully it is just my 'evening weight' cause if i really gained dammit! **sigh**   i've had absolutely no motivation whatsoever. i was on the treadmill for 30 mins yesterday. after 8 minutes i wanted OFF ...   tonight in the step class - she worked my ass off ... i wanted to leave, almost did.   i know it is a good thing that i didnt leave, but i dont know what is wrong with me ... i wanted to SO bad :phanvan   is there even a point to this post - nope. just the fact that i am totally sucking right now and i FEEL fat. how ridiculous is that??? i'm "smaller" than i have been in years and i feel fat..   grrrrrrr   and i am really grouchy - i totally yelled at Rick (DH) tonight for really no reason... **sigh**   peace out.

losingjusme

losingjusme

 

up 1/8 lb but that's ok ...

well, considering i had a McRib yesterday 1/8 of a pound is not that horrible. granted, i would have loved it to be 1/8 down, but no major complaints here..   i did go on the treadmill today and i had to force myself to stay on for 30 minutes. i just was NOT interested in doing it one bit. i guess i could have gotten off and did something else, but i didnt. i toughed it out and went for 31 mins. it was no where near as intense as i have been doing though. i burned less than 350 calories i think, not horrible, but not great.. i'm sure that didnt help with the small gain.   work was super crazy nuts today. i worked from 8 - 6 w/ little break. i am going to go in early so i can leave for my step class at 4 tomorrow. i guess i feel guilty leaving 'early' since i manage the operation, but going to work out is now taking priority in my life.   work out plan for the rest of the week: Tuesday - step class Wednesday - training w/ Kari Thursday - perhaps a day off - going into work early so i can fly to St Louis early in the afternoon Friday - hopefully get to the gym early Saturday - i'd love to do aqua, but dont think i'll be home in time. maybe another day off. ??   how about you? how are you going to move yer rump this week?

losingjusme

losingjusme

 

it's been a pretty good weekend ... L O N G

i worked out quite a bit during my 'vacation' from work. in fact i worked out twice Monday and Tuesday once Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and today. yup, the only day i missed was Thanksgiving and the gym was closed.   i weighed myself on Friday and i was in the 350s ... talk about a jaw dropper!!! it was just so surreal. the bottom part of the scale goes in 20 lb increments ... i used to be in the 360s and i slid it over there and it was like, nope - - lower !!! so i slipped it to 340 and then the top alllllll the way over to the end ... and i ATE on Thanksgiving ... i ate and ate and ate ... ok ... not as much as i would have pre-band, but i ate more than i really should have. but you know, i worked my ass off at the gym and do not feel too bad about it.. now if i would have gained that would have been a different story..   i am at 19.99% towards goal ... so close to 20% but not there ... 11.02% of me is gone ... gone for good. :biggrin1:   this week i am going to work out Monday on the treadmill, Tuesday is a step class, Wednesday is my session with Kari, Thursday i am flying home for a luncheon on Friday. there is a gym about 15 minutes from my parent's house so i plan on working out on Friday as well.   going home should be interesting. my dad and step mom have no idea i have lost this weight ... i am hoping to work my buns off. i am 5 5/8 pounds away from losing 50 pounds. who'da thunk it??   i did go to the Avenue to get something to wear for the luncheon on Friday... the 30/32 skirt was a tad snug so i didnt get it, i did buy a wonderful blouse that looks really great i also ordered a dress and hopefully it will arrive in enough time for Friday..   ok, this is long enough, i hope everyone had a great weekend and so much success to everyone!!!

losingjusme

losingjusme

 

very VERY quick post

359.5 down 43 pounds ... :faint:   That is one of the many things i am very thankful for...   my mom is in town for turkey day - will write about my days later (my mom knows about Ophelia (my band) and she is excited)   she did notice right away when we picked her up at the airport.   ok ... night.

losingjusme

losingjusme

 

i feel like such a failure.

i really do. i was all excited ... i am on vacation this week and wanted to work my ass off and drop some weight. i went on the treadmill today - burned 504 calories .. yay me ...   i went to a new step class tonight ... no way on God's green earth ... i couldnt keep up, i was just not working it ... and the class was of course crowded ... MEGA crowded and they were all getting it. why couldnt i? :phanvan   and to top it off i want chocolate (real not that sugar free stuff) in the worst way. as i was driving home from dinner i came """this close""" to stopping off and getting something, but i didnt ... but dammit i still want chocolate.   i might as well just go to bed...

losingjusme

losingjusme

 

holy $#!t !!!!!

ok, so i am down 10% and i am happy. very happy ... extremely happy. less than 20 pounds until my first mini goal of 60 pounds gone by 08 December. so i start thinking about my second mini goal. i have these really great dresses that i ordered online and i've never (ever) been able to wear them. so my 2nd mini goal is to look awesome in this dress for my Father's surprise retirement party in February. the thought just came to me... so i jumped up and grabbed the dress to show to Rick.   on a whim, i tried the dress on, it fucking fit ... FIT FIT FIT FIT FIT !!! ok ok ok ... it is very umm shall we say snug around the tummy area. but it fit! (going from a loose 42/44W to a 30W)   so my 2nd goal is to have it really fit by Christmas. can i do it?   you bet your ass i am going to try...

losingjusme

losingjusme

 

happy Friday!!

well, i went to the step class and yes, it did indeed kick my ass, but apparently i liked it ... i am going back for more next week.   i tried the elliptical this morning :faint: oh damn, i sucked so bad. i didnt even last a minute so i went to trusty Ted the treadmill and worked him really well. i only went for 33:10 (ha- "only") but i was doing some serious inclines (9.0 - 10.0 for 1 - 2 minutes each 2-3 times) then i rested then went back to 3.5 - 5.5 incline for most of the other time.   i cannot believe the new outlook i have. i am actually in a good mood. go figure!!   i am not sure what i am going to do tomorrow. i may take the day off, but who knows. it depends on how active i am at home.   oh oh oh ... i hit 10% loss... yup - 40 pounds ... GONE ... i only have 19.875 pounds til my first mini goal. i am :biggrin1: :biggrin1:

losingjusme

losingjusme

 

i f'd up....

dumbshit me volunteers to make choc chip cookies for our thanksgiving thing at work tomorrow ...   what do i do?? yup ... 6-7 (maybe more) globs of cookie dough ... and 2 baked cookies..   dammit that just pisses me off ... and i know better so that makes it even worse!!   i just totally blew my loss. i was almost at 40 pounds gone and probably gained.   on a good note, i did work out today w/ Kary (my personal trainer) and she showed me a lot of great things that i can do. hopefully i can remember them!!   ok ... i guess im just in a pissy mood, will write more when i feel like it.   me

losingjusme

losingjusme

 

insert witty title here...

i dont really even know where to begin. i was banded on 09 Oct 2006 and my life has changed.   i never believed the 'bullshit' that others boasted about ... how there was just this transformation ...   well there has been.   when i stepped on the scale at my MD's office i was rather shocked when it read 402.5, but not really. it wasnt even my highest ... i had been teetering between 415 and 395 for awhile now.. not anymore.   how does someone get to be 400+ pounds? well, i like food. not always a lot of food just junk food. there were days where i would "skip" lunch and much on the mini reese's pb cups. going thru a huge bag in just a few days. in addition to that, i did not move. if i was sitting on the couch, i would ask my husband to get up and get me something to eat and/or drink...   well, i am now following (99% of the time) the bandster rules. i admit i went to a buffet and resorted to my old ways. i ate ... oh boy did i eat. i also gained weight. no shocker there.   i am also moving my ass. i joined 24 hour fitness 10 months ago .. i just started going there 2 weeks after my surgery. when i started, i barely managed 8 minutes on the treadmill ... today i went twice and logged almost 70 minutes ... with an incline of a max of 10.5 - i'm not sure how high it goes, but in the next few weeks, i will find out. granted i was at 10.5 for just a tad over a minute, but i was at 9 for 2+ minutes about 6 times.   and the bizarre thing? i want to work out! :sick my gym bag is already packed for tomorrow. i have my 2nd personal training session and i think she is probably going to kick my ass... but being the weirdo that i am, i'll probably like it.

losingjusme

losingjusme

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